Our Dance.

I didn’t work the day that I woke up in the office. Actually, I didn’t work for a week afterwards. I had met all my criteria for that week since I had really cool dances and designs- no matter how dark and depressing they were.
So, I have stayed in my room most of the week. Some people would say that was a terrible thing to do, and I didn’t think so at the time… until this morning.
“Momma! Wake up! Daddy says that breakfast is ready,” Wesley said, smiling at me.
“Momma doesn’t feel too good, tell Daddy that for me please?” I said, my voice still groggy from sleep.
Wesley’s smile faltered and he got off the bed and turned towards the door.
“Momma, please don’t go away again,” Wesley said.
“What are you talking about, Wes?” I asked, sitting up.
“When Daddy went away, you were never happy. Please don’t do that again,” he said.
That was what struck me. My son told me that he didn’t want me to shut out the world, what am I supposed to do about that?
So, I showered for the first time since I had left the office, which could be why Niall stayed in the guest bedroom these past few nights. I shaved my legs and armpits and felt… relief because I had finally become clean.
My ex-husband was still out there, but to the law… he was dead. That’s what was great about this whole thing. Wesley could never fight for custody, because telling the court that you are alive after all these years? Yeah, good job getting the judge to believe that one.
I walked down from my shower and saw Wesley and Niall sitting on the living room floor, playing with toys.
“Daddy, why is Momma so sad right now?” Wesley asked, making my smile fall.
“Momma is just… going through a lot right now, buddy,” he said.
I stood there and listened to Niall explain what was going on in the best way an almost five-year-old could understand, but without telling him that his real father is very much alive, even though we’ve told him his whole life his father is dead.
I refuse to tell him as well. As much as I hate Wesley, I could never let my son hate him. I want my son to grow up and think the world of his biological father. I want him to think that he loved him more than he loved the world himself.
I then cleared my throat, making Niall jump slightly. Wesley then turned towards me with a big smile on his face.
“Momma!” he said, running towards me. I smiled and hugged him tightly.
“Hey, babe, what are you doing out of bed?” Niall asked, giving me a kiss.
“I decided that it was time to stop shutting out everyone in the world,” I said, making him smile.
That day was spent with my two favorite men in the world- my boyfriend and my son.
As the door opened, Rachel stood there in shock.
“Thank God you are out of bed, because I came over here to drag you out by the ear if you weren’t,” she said, making me laugh.
“Hey, whatever happened to those two girls that was staying with you?” Niall asked, looking around.
“They didn’t stay long. The mom said that they had family that heard about everything going on and took them in, so that’s where they are staying. She still comes to dance for free. The mom got a job working as a nursing aid, so she will be doing that while she goes to school to become a nurse,” I said, making Rachel smile.
We spent the rest of the day as a family. Rachel left around eight after putting Wesley to bed.
“So, what’s been going through your mind these last few days?” Niall asked, making me grimace.
“Everything, but at the same time… nothing.”
“I’m lost,” Niall, chuckling.
“It felt like my mind was going so fast through everything that it couldn’t think, but it occasionally would slow down to I guess remind myself that I was in fact alive,” I said.
Niall nodded.
“Well, now that you don’t smell like you haven’t showered in a week, I guess I’ll stay here again,” Niall said, making me laugh as we walked up the stairs.
“Niall?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“Thank you… for everything. For helping with Wesley during all of this, for still being here,” I said.
He smiled and kissed my forehead.
“You aren’t getting rid of me that easily, babe. I love you and nothing is gonna change that,” he said.
I smiled and we walked up the stairs.
As I got ready for bed, Niall started looking through Twitter.
“Babe! They know!” Niall said, making me smile.
“They know about the date or that we are back together?”
“About the date.”
“I mean, we knew they would find out eventually. We will neither confirm or deny that. We’ll just say that we are starting over… seeing where it takes us for Wesley.”
He smiled and nodded.
“We are dating though… right?” he asked, seeing me in my normal yoga pants and baggy t-shirt pajamas.
“I don’t know… are we?” I asked, making him smile and pat the bed beside him.
No, we didn’t have great make-up sex after that, but we did scroll through Twitter some more… just to see what the fans thought. Most of them were thrilled, saying that they never wanted to see Niall like that again, because he did go off the deep end.
One tweet changed everything though, because that one tweet was confirmation for everyone.
“@NiallOfficial is #Nivelina legit again? If so, I totally #shipit”
Thank you, Ashton Irwin. Niall had to deny it now, which pissed him off. Niall hated lying to his fans, and we weren’t ready to go public yet.
We then continued to scroll through Twitter, while I tweeted something that made the fans start wondering...
“I’d rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I’d rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I’d rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart. I’d rather have the one who holds my heart…”
Niall looked at me shortly after I tweeted that and I saw the love in his eyes.
“You mean it?”
“Every word.”
He grabbed me by the chin and kissed me softly, but passionately. It then turned into something more… something that I was thankful Wesley was asleep for.

Notes

Don't kill me... I would love to give you a good excuse, but there honestly isn't one.Life has been crazy... but it also hasn't been. I honestly just haven't been to write... like my brain will want to write and my heart will want to write, but it felt like after I wrote a few sentences, my brain was done... even though my heart wanted to go on. So, I'm sorry for the seriously long delay!
I love you guys and let me know what you think. :)