A Rock Star Christmas Carol

Harry and Louis stood off to the side in a large auditorium, kids from all ages and backgrounds filed in single file through the front doors and into the bleachers on either side of the large and open space.

There was an important announcement and each student was required to attend for safety and educational purposes.

“You remember this day.” Harry noted, seeing the smirk crawling over Louis’s face.

Actually, Harry had never seen hid giddier.

“Oh, man, I remember this day like I remember the atomic bombs dropping in London in history class on the tele.” Louis responded, walking over to one of the bleachers and glancing over his old schoolmates. “There’s Nichelle; little snitch, that was his nickname.” He recalled thoughtfully, reaching over to see if he could slap the little ginger out of his seat.

Harry looked unamused and grabbed his arm.

“These are only memories, Louis. You can’t do anything. So, quit trying to cause problems, you can’t slap the ginger out of him and that attitude of yours needs to be put on a lead until we finish. You’re missing the point to all of this, lad.” Harry warned him.

“We only just got here, how much could I have possibly missed? I mean if you’re ready to call it a night -” Louis paused with a hum, his eyes shining a bit when his younger and smaller self, shoved his way through the bleak lines of the drab dressed students in nothing but a pair of basketball shorts and Doncaster jersey.

“Good morning, bitches!” Louis yelled throughout the stadium, taking his seat at the very top of the right-side bleacher and plopping down at the end of the row, his voice loud in the almost dead auditorium.

“What a delightful little lad.” Harry drawled sarcastically.

“I was far from a delightful lad, but youre the ghost of the past, you know perfectly well why. Now shush, my favorite part is coming up.” Louis said, shushing him when headmaster Bryans marched towards the bleachers Louis’s smaller self was residing at.

“Mister Tomlinson? Your clothing is unorthodox, go and change into school uniform.” Bryans demanded, beckoning the younger lad from the bleachers, making the little boy smirk even more.

Scarily enough, older Louis had an exact replica smirk the younger one currently wore.

“I would, sir, headmaster Bam-bam. Truly, but I’m afraid they’ve been nicked, when I opened my drawer this morning, I found this ransom note.” He told the headmaster with a dead straight face.

He handed it to his administrator, who in turn read it aloud.

“This is a ransom, if you ever want to see your school uniform alive again, bring two hundred pounds to the courtyard at three noon,” He read with disbelief, his lip almost turning with amusement – almost. “Signed, HAHA.” He looked at Louis, his face projecting as serious as he could manage.

“So, the kidnapper’s name is HAHA? How peculiar. Well, we’ll certainly have Scotland yard on the case within the hour.”

Little Louis snorted.

“Those dodgers couldn’t find a fart in a whoopi-cushion factory, mate. I say, best forget the uniform and go with casual dress.” Louis dismissed with his hand.

Headmaster Bryan was most certainly losing his amusement at that moment.

“Lad? You’ve been here two weeks and I’ve had teachers complain about you. In fact, that is the main reason that we have all been brought together here today. You and your wonderful achievements that you have decided to grace us with. If you brought more effort into your school work as you do your creativity – you may actually get far.” Bryan smiled and turned, but stopped Louis from returning to his seat.

“Actually, I am most curious Mr. Tomlinson – how did you cement Master Thompkins chair to the ceiling? We have been trying for three days now to get it down, but the cement appears to have bonded itself permanently with the plaster and though I do not encourage the destruction of school property – I have never seen a sight such as I have with four men hanging from a roof, trying to get a chair down off from it.”

Louis chuckled and glanced at Harry.

“I actually liked Headmaster Bam-bam. He was a rather fair administrator, sad when he had that heart attack the following year. One moment he was walking the halls and the next, he dropped to the ground.” Louis remembered with a frown.

“That would seem the pattern for those who stick around you. Poor bloke, you caused him more stress than he’d ever had admitted,” Harry chuckled lightly, his smile slowly dropping back to a serious expression. “You amused him, Louis. You were a clever lad and a nice kid, but that all changed, hm? Maybe the first question to ask yourself is when, not why or how.”

Louis snorted, folding his arms across his chest tighter.

“I already know the why and how. Piss off and let me trip down memory lane on my own terms here. I’m quite enjoying this.” Louis waved him off.

Harry rolled his eyes.

“Sorry to disappoint, but to sum it all up, you: Put a signup sheet for dissecting a human head on the teacher’s desk and had everyone sign their names to which part they wanted to cut up, you put an actual sheep head in a cooler you brought in while labeling it ‘human head’ and in the turn of events for strict amusement, you put it where the MATH professor would find it and when he opened it, made the teacher piss himself and faint dead on the floor, earning him a bad concussion when he went down, because he actually had a legitimate fear of blood.” Harry pointed out, covering the same exact explanation that Headmaster Bryan was explaining – only with a little less detail.

Louis was grinning bigger now with the memories, realizing that school had a certain appeal to it when pranks were concerned.

“I also stole eleven pheasants from the local farmers and spray painted numbers one through fourteen. Skipped nine, ten and eleven. They spent a week trying to hunt down nonexistent pheasants.” Louis picked up where Harry had taken a pause to watch the gym of students.

“Yep and just as well, you protested the homework your teachers gave you – I assume that’s why Thompkins got his chair steel cemented to the roof? He called you a blighting imbecil and told you that you would never be anything, wasn’t it?” Harry asked him, seeing Louis’s past play out like an old-style type movie in front of his eyes.

Louis’s demeanor darkened a little.

“Thompkins was a knob. I wasn’t stupid, but his course was rigorous and I had been dumped at this hell hole against my will and basically told ‘chin up, you’ll fall into line soon enough.’ But I didn’t and never could. because Louis Tomlinson takes orders from no one.” Louis proclaimed with a chuckle.

“Except for Simon, right?” Harry reminded him with a pointed finger.

Louis sobered.

“That bastard stole my laptop, tell him he owes me money for another one if you see his dead ass again, and yes – he was the only one whom I saw reasoning to listen to. He offered me something I never had before and he believed in me, unlike the wobbly whalers at this prison.” Louis spat. His stare zoning in on his younger self and saw the boy now sitting quietly in reflection and still pleased with himself, but not quite as satisfied.

“You were lonely.” Harry observed, noticing that none of the other children sat near him.

The feeling radiating from the small little boy was desolate. He didn’t understand why his mum and dad couldn’t get into his way of thinking. He was different than other children and he had only been brought home by the cops twice, but evidently that was enough to be tossed in a cab and sent six hours away.

“I was confused and angry. Loneliness has nothing to do with it, Harry. Remove your head from your arse and pay attention.” Louis snapped, the familiar feelings swarming around him like a hoard of buzzing bees.

“I won’t press, but I sense loneliness and anger. They are much stronger emotions you carry, even still today than the confusion that you assumed was just your parents being twats and deciding they didn’t love you.” Harry told him bluntly, slapping his shoulder gently.

“You don’t know shit, mate. Stop assuming, you weren’t there and you don’t know how I felt or what it was like.” Louis growled harshly, turning his back to walk out of the auditorium with Harry following closely behind.

“I’m the ghost of pasts, mate. I know bloody EVERYTHING!” Harry shouted the last word in frustration, scratching his head out of habit.

Louis swirled back and gave Harry a small push away from him.

“You don’t know this, you can’t possibly understand, you can only see – you can only feel, but you yourself don’t know, because you didn’t personally experience it. So, get the hell off my nuts before I punch you back to when you were bloody born.” He threatened.

Harry didn’t flinch away and simply put his hand on Louis’s shoulder gently, resignation igniting his lifeless green eyes while they looked at the man before him in empathy.

“That is my punishment. Knowing, seeing, feeling. It all comes together in the experience, so unfortunately, I do understand. You can look into a mirror and lie to your reflection, but it’s you. I don’t have to be you to know what I see, because I can view the memories and feel your pain, see every single movement that you make, every step you – “Louis cut him off.

“If you quote anymore to that song, I’m leaving.” He told him firmly without a smile.

Harry gave him a confused look, leaving his point moot.

“Everything I see and everything I show, benefits you someway. Don’t think me cruel, I am only doing my job.” Harry told him, allowing Louis to throw his hand off his shoulder and sulk away down the hall – mostly because little Louis ran passed them.

“Yeah? Well, your job forking sucks.” Louis told him melancholily.

Harry smiled.

“I’m not disagreeing.” He nodded, his feet moving down the smooth stone floors through the long-hallowed halls of the dead space around them, save for Headmaster Bryan’s words of wisdom and Louis’s small footsteps.

“How long did it take for the Headmaster to get the chair down off the ceiling?” Harry asked conversationally, quickening his pace some to keep up with the small boy.

Louis in turn followed.

“You’re the God of my all-knowing past, you tell me. It was a simpleton’s prank, mate. Hardly a pop in the hays worth of remembrance.” Louis dismissed, his mood soured by the familiar ache of rejection.

“Three months, wasn’t it? Thompkins was rather a livid sort.” Harry tried to get Louis focused and right now, they were on his childhood.

“Thompkins was a baah shagger. Sod was fired a year before I left, video online arose of him pissed as a drunken sailor and trying to pound a sheep with his Mcsausage. It did not end well for the sheep or him come to think of it.” Louis couldn’t help a small chuckle to escape his lips when he remembered.

Harry nodded, smiling a bit.

“His life was ruined. Admittingly, I am most surprised you didn’t post that video up yourself when you got it.” Halting in his steps when the little boy in front of them was suddenly slammed and thrown against the lockers by a much larger arm.

Louis’s eyes narrowed.

“My favorite part of this school if I had to name one, was the bully welcoming committee. I loved the way they just accepted me with open arms.” Louis snarked sardonically, folded his arms across his chest, wishing he could pop Jerry Larsen in the nose. He hated that kid and felt nothing still even today over what had happened to the boy.

Harry frowned a little deeper, coming to stand next to the child by the lockers.

“You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew of his life, but my time here isn’t to explain his, but to show you yours. Let me just say, it was far worse for him then what you will ever know.” Harry answered, motioning Louis over to the two young kids.

Louis marched up beside Harry, his body posture still in B-boy stance.

“Eat rat poison and die you little six toed maggot infested –“ Louis hissed, unable to help himself.

“Louis, you remember this moment, yeah? I believe something extraordinary happened to you.” Harry pointed.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows in thought, before snorting.

“Yeah, I met Liam and then we both got shoved in lockers because he didn’t believe in using violence unless the situation called for it. Round of applause golf style for the sheer display of heroics from captain moral muscles.” Louis rolled his eyes, smirking at the confrontation now taking place.

“Welcome to hell you little four-eyed twat.” Jerry Larsen beamed darkly, using his other hand to take Louis’s glasses off his nose and drop them on the ground.

A crunch was heard a second after.

“I wore contacts half on and half off, but glasses were more convenient. Hard time explaining to mum why I needed money for repair or replacements and half of me suspects she didn’t believe me after the second time.” Louis observed his younger self, the tiny form of his body struggling against the bully’s muscled size frame.

“She believed you, though you could have told the Headmaster. He would have done something.” Harry said, seeing younger Louis smile.

“Thanks, minge maggot. It’s a pleasure to be here in this shit hole with a crap stain like you.” The younger boy replied, using his knee as a weapon and aiming to hurt the older bully by making him sing soprano.

Harry popped an eyebrow.

“Hard to see why they didn’t like you. You were such a sweet and likable little lad.” Harry condescended, noticing the older boy used his foot to stomp down on Louis’s to stop him from using his knee.

“Payne already done did that.” Jerry spit at the younger boy, slamming his head into the locker.

“Payne?” Louis groaned, curiosity outweighing his plight at the moment.

“Been here a year, but I doubt you’ll meet him. He stays to himself mostly, which means he gets a break and I get to start on you. How lucky for him. The little freak was getting boring anyhow. You? You look fun.” Jerry smirked.

Louis’s young face dropped, his eyes thoughtful.

“I can be fun. I once shoved a carrot up my friend’s nose. He had to go to the hospital because I put superglue on the end of it.” Young Louis smirked, a threat in the undertone of his voice.

Harry looked at the older man.

“I won’t say you were sadistic exactly, but you had some issues that may have needed roller pinned out a bit.”

Louis rolled his eyes.

“Why are we seeing this? This is a pretty damned waste of time, don’t you think?” Louis asked, hearing Jerry whistle to his gang.

Louis remembered all six members of the Jerry Toad gang.

“Quite original these ones. The Jerry toad gang, named after the biggest prick to walk the halls. Though, toad suited him. He certainly was a slimy and deplorable cretonne,” Louis chuckled watching his younger self. “I got to meet Willie Wanker, Wally Walrus – “Louis recalled with faux fondness, earning a warning look from Harry.

“Louis? You can’t change the past, but you learn from it. What are you learning right now?” Harry encouraged, seeing the small glint in little Louis’s eyes.

“That I need to conceal my emotions slightly better? I always had that mischievous shine in my eyes before the pingity-popper went ding and the voice in my head screamed NOOOOOOO, but by that time it was usually too late and I had done it or was in mid-action.” Louis answered, making Harry groan.

“You can be a smartarse all you want, but you’re not going to like what I have to show you next. So, keep taking the piss out the situation; it’s only your soul. No big deal.” Harry drawled.

“Okay, well, can I give the toad a wedge then? Come on, surely we can have some fun?” Louis suggested, reaching forward to grip Jerry’s trousers – seeing his hands slip transparently through.

Harry was fighting off another mental headache; Louis truly did not get the concept of past reflections or souls to the damned.

“This is like a movie reel, Louis. You can’t alter what you are seeing in any way, because we are not in this time. We are simply revisiting and cannot change anything. Not even peeing on – “He paused, quickly backtracking to a threat when he saw some of the ideas going through Louis’s head. “Don’t you even dare think about it! God, you are worse than a child!” Harry finished strongly.

Louis huffed, taking his hands back and leaning against the wall to watch his younger self get the piss taken out of him.

“Meet my gang. Lads? This is Twat, he’s new.” Jerry introduced, slamming the younger boy’s head into the locker again.

“This is shitbreath, he’s an asshole.” Little Louis retorted back.

Harry looked from the little boy to Louis.

“I see not much has changed these past fifteen some odd years, hm?” Harry asked with retort, flinching when the bully jammed his knee up into Louis’s stomach.

“Yeah, hard to wonder how I turned out so awesome, isn’t it? I mean, with people like Jerry – who the hell needs enemies?” Louis rhetorically answered back with his own tight lipped grin.

Harry snorted.

“You know? You remind me of a fellow spirit I met once; he complained how it was everyone else’s fault he was dead, but when you eat almost two hundred pieces of sweets a day, knowing you are diabetic – you can only assume that they denied some sort of responsibility to end up where they were. You, Louis, have an uncanny sense of blame passing. Acknowledge that you are human and make mistakes, those are the first steps to humanity.” Harry offered, snapping his head back to the small boy again when he cried out.

Louis said nothing as he usually chose to do when he believed people to be wrong, because in his mind Harry had no leg of his situation. He lived in the past, not the present.

“You are correct, my time was past, but Zayn’s era is still present. Think of it how you like, this happened and you can’t bloody run from it. This right here, made you what you are.” Harry pointed, seeing younger Louis bring his head into Jerry’s, effectively headbutting him.

“Hardly.” Louis responded with a smirk, silently cheering himself on.

“So, you don’t think this shaped you then? There is hope yet, mate.” Harry nodded.

“Now I think you’re trying to confuse me on purpose, let’s just watch my younger self take the piss, yeah? That’s why we’re here after all, right?” Louis snapped, getting confused by Harry’s game. It wasn’t Jerry specifically, he just helped him in his discovery that being an arse-monkey can add for some entertainment.

“Some events can be helped and others can’t. This event could have, had you not headbutted the other boy, you two might have eventually ended up friends.” Harry chuckled knowingly.

Louis simply looked at him incredulously.

“Now I know you’re taking the piss from me, mate. No way in a million bloody years would I have been friends with the Toad there. I’d have rather castrated myself and cooked my own dick than associate myself with that low hanging boar.” Louis huffed.

“Too bad you didn’t know about his parents. He had none and his sister was in foster care, at least you still have your siblings, all together and with your mum.” Harry pointed out.

“YOU LITTLE TWAT!” The older boy cried, throwing him against the locker.

His gang pounced on younger Louis and held him to his spot, allowing Jerry to recover as they kept the younger boy ready for the next course of retaliation.

All the other personnel and students were still in the auditorium, unaware of the going on down the hall.

“Had a family. My mother died the same time my father did as far as I am concerned.” Louis dismissed placidly.

Harry nodded solemnly.

“Very well, that isn’t my department to deal with. However, maybe you should check up on your family – a suggestion only, because many things can be resolved by talking.”

“I have no family. Me, myself and I are the only people we need and I am quite content to relish my own company rather than the falsehood of others. Take your suggestions and put a choke on them, would you? I mean, how the hell could you know anything about family? Yours have been dead near four hundred years.” Louis snapped, feeling slightly guilty as it left his mouth.

He wanted to lash out at someone and Harry kept going, so he lashed out the most hurtful thing he could think of.

To his surprise, Harry just smiled gently, which annoyed Louis even more.

“I’m sorry your defense mechanism is to automatically be hurtful. It’s something you need to work on, but I also know you didn’t mean that.”

Louis growled, kicking the wall lightly.

“HEY!” A loud deep voice boomed over the halls, echoing in the dead stale air.

Louis rolled his eyes.

“It’s captain no violence to the rescue, my savior! ...not.” Louis retorted over excitedly, remembering Liam and his lax reaction to the other boys.

Harry decided not to egg Louis on. He was already upset, no use adding to it.

“Payne! Come meet the new twat! He’s a right princess this one.” One of the boys called out, Jerry in the meantime had taken to furiously unlocking one of the lockers.

“Never mind that, grab him.” Jerry ordered, his dark voice growling with authority.

Louis rolled his eyes.

“I may have been called princess, but at least I wasn’t a toad.” Louis retorted, making Harry shake his head.

“I don’t think you’re helping your case, mate. You ran away screaming like a girl today, from a church…in front of a congregation, after you vandalized them.” Harry pointed out.

“First century priests with no respect for symbolism! American was founded on symbolism, I mean, you see JB and you automatically think Justin Bieber.” Louis tried to make his own comparison.

“Who? And what’s America got to do with this?” Harry asked in confusion, flinching when the one locker was slammed open.

Louis wasn’t far from copying Harry as he watched his younger self get thrown into the small space and shut in.

Louis watched as the locker next to it was opened and though Liam was in no way as skinny or as short as Louis, he was shoved in all the same with slight more difficulty.

Jerry slammed his fist against the door to Louis’s prison with a triumphant laugh.

“Enjoy your time together, twats. I’ll see you around. Welcome to North London Academy, Louis. We are going to have a lovely few years together.” Jerry promised, laughing as he and the other lads stalked off, shoving one another as they left.

It was quiet for a moment between the two young boys, before Liam’s enthusiastic voice broke through the thick silence.

“My name’s Liam, you’re Louis. It’s nice to meet you,” Liam greeted politely, shifting a little and swearing silently. “Bollocks, the door pinned my arms down or I could jimmy the lock.”

Louis didn’t speak from the locker, though he did start to thrash around and call for help.

Older Louis chuckled.

“The next year after this, Liam was too big to get put into the lockers, but I still fit. I fit up until my early teens, right before I left. Liam gave me his phone number and anytime Jerry put me into the lockers, I’d call Liam and he would know where they had stuffed me thanks to a tracker we had set in our phones.” Louis remembered with a fond remembrance.

Harry nodded.

“He certainly seemed like a good friend to you, even still now and if you don’t mind me saying so, you haven’t been very kind to him in recent years, I’m surprised he sticks around, but I also know he has his reasons.”

Louis snorted.

“I’ve done shit to him, in fact, he was an assistant of mine when I got famous and I made sure he was well taken care of throughout the time we were roommates in that shit job – “Louis’s rant was cut short.

“A coffee job, wasn’t it? The job he helped you get. That’s actually where we’re going next, but first – we have two more places to visit and you’re not going to like either of them.” Harry warned, listening to the two kids start to talk in the lockers – well, more like Liam begging Louis to calm down.

“I don’t like any of this! Where the hell are we going now?” Louis demanded, wanting to help the poor kids in the locker. “And did you know him and I were stuck in those lockers for two hours?”

“I did. As for where we’re going? Does December 24th, two years later ring any bells?” Harry asked, making Louis’s head snap towards him.

“Yup, it does and that’s a big forking not gonna happen. Excuse me.” Louis said, going over to the third locker and trying to open it.

Harry’s eyebrow hunched up.

“What are you doing? We need to go.” Harry urged stepping forward.

Louis gave up and decided ‘when in Rome’ and stepped in through the locker to get inside of it, even though it was all transparent and it didn’t help him anyhow.

“You are about to show me the worst moment of my life. That’s not happening. I already felt that pain once, you are not ruining my life again.” Louis told him blatantly, folding his arms across his chest.

Harry let out a snort through his nose, but it wasn’t in amusement.

“Louis, if you don’t cooperate; I will have to ghost you again. Please follow me.” Harry encouraged, beginning to walk down the hall.

Louis decided that wasn’t happening and ran the rest of the way through the locker and outside across the snowy field picking up the white ice and looking around for Harry.

Harry appeared a few steps behind Louis, his transparent figure aglow in the London sunset that paled through him.

“Louis.” Harry called softly, making Louis yell and turn around while simultaneously throwing the snow.

Sadly, it just went right through the spirit.

“I’m not going back there, you want to hurt me, huh? If you want to do any good, show me my father before he was killed. Tell me if he was happy – if he thought about me at all. Those are the queries I want answers to, but don’t show me what I remember so bloody vividly. Because, I know the pain of that memory and it stayed with me a long time before the numbness finally scabbed over in its place. Don’t open that wound up again.” Louis practically begged Harry.

Harry looked at him with the same sympathetic expression, thinking carefully on his words.

“Your father loved you and his last known thoughts before the car accident was ‘I’m sorry, Louis.’ But I can’t show you the accident or what he was doing before because you weren’t there. I will tell you that he was coming to pick you up as a surprise so you could spend Christmas with them. He died coming to get you.” Harry revealed, seeing Louis’s desperate features break a little.

He hadn’t known his father was on his way to get him.

“So, this is my fault?” He asked Harry, feeling a heaviness in his heart again that he hadn’t for some time.

“Not directly, no. If anything, your father blamed himself. He was going to invite you back home to finish school there in Doncaster. He wanted to see you more,” Harry responded, holding his arm out for Louis to take hold of his sleeve. “We need to go.”

Louis shook his head and turned away, beginning to walk in the opposite direction.

“I can’t. Not again.” Louis told him.

Harry could feel a heaviness in his dead chest that could take a mortal’s breath away and homing in on Louis’s pain at that moment was heart wrenching.

“I understand, but we need to press on and I meant what I said. If you don’t come with me willingly, I will have to make you. I promise I will try to make it hurt a little less if I can.” Harry promised, easily catching up to Louis and stopping him from walking any further.

Louis looked defeated and the corner of his eyes were tearing slightly, but he lifted his hand and gently placed it over the sleeve of Harry’s arm in defeat.

“In your own words, it’s the past, yeah?” Louis turned his head to meet Harry’s dead sea eyes.

“Correct.” Harry confirmed, nodding his head once.

“Then no matter the years that march on, it’s the past. It doesn’t make it hurt any less. Hell, mum didn’t even send a ticket so I could go to his funeral and say goodbye. She didn’t want me there and I never understood why. I guess she blamed me for being at the school in the first place and I guess it kind of was, but I was not a bad kid. You said so yourself.” Louis murmured, trying to seek answers from the ghost to try and unjumble his muddled thoughts on the memory he tried so hard to forget.

“I’m afraid I can only offer you insight; not answers. You can try to seek a solution, but unfortunately you will find more queries than you will result. My job is to show you the cause and then from there it is your responsibility to figure out how that is effecting your life now. That will also be where Zayn takes over.”

Louis nodded quietly, his hand gripping the white cloth on the ghost’s arm.

“Come on, two more stops and then we can get to the fun aspect of your life.” Harry coaxed, transporting them to the exact same location, two years into the future.

When Louis looked around, all he could see was the dreary dark clouds overhead. It was about to snow and the chill factor, Louis remembered was well below that day.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Louis muttered, walking towards the school building again and leaving Harry to follow after.

Notes