It's complicated

"Mommy the dress is itchy. Can I wear my pjs?" Lizzie whined. I pulled back from Niall and he gave me a sympathetic smile. His smile is enough to make all the world problems go away, end wars, and to fix my heart.

"Yeah sure." I smiled digging threw a drawer. She has no more clean pj's.

"Mommy has to run home to go get more clothes. I'll be right back." I said looking over at my sick daughter lying in her bed and hugging the brand new toy that these people have brought her.

"Okay." She smiled up at me holding her arms out for me. I hugged her tightly. Each time I hug her I can't help but think that it might be the last. I kiss her cheek before grabbing my Keys.

"do you want me to come?" Niall asked.

"Sure." I shrugged. He smiled at me and I returned one. We started walking out to my old car. To be honest I am a bit embarrassed about my car and about my house cause he's so rich and I'm the complete opposite.

The first half of the car ride is awkwardly quiet. Nothing but the sound of the radio playing softly was heard. "So do you work?" Niall broke the silence. "Yeah. I work at a restraunt. I didn't finish college because of Lizzie and I certainly don't have the time or money now to do so. It's about the only place I can get a job." I explained. He nodded his head slowly.

We pulled into my small drive way and I turned the old loud car off. I went up to the door with Niall behind me. The doors unlocked. I always lock it before I leave. "Shit." I mumble.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"The doors unlocked but I locked it before I left." I said and slowly opened up the door.

"Let me go first." He demanded.

"No, I don't want you to get hurt. Please." I begged.

"I'll be right behind you." He reminded me as I took a step in. The lights were on in the kitchen and I heard some glass break. I slowly walked in there and saw my ex husband standing there with a beer in his hand and plates, broken all of the floor.

"What the fuck are you doing here!" I spat. He turned to look at me. He glared at me before throwing his beer at my bare legs. I let out a Yelp before stumbling back into Niall.

"Leave!" John yelled.

"This is my house. If anyone should leave it should be you." I said more calmly. Niall set me down gently on the ground. He got up and started walking over to him.

"Niall please." I begged.

"Is this your new fuck buddy? You're such a slut!" He slurred.

"Don't fucking talk to her like that." Niall threatened.

"Or what?" John laughed and Niall punched him in the jaw. he stumbled back surprised by Niall's actions but so was I.

"That's why you're parents kicked you out. That's why Hayden broke up with you. That's why you got pregnant in high school and look at you now. A fucking poor slut." He yelled at me and I felt tears in my eyes.

"I'm not gonna say it again. Stop fucking talking to her like that." Niall yelled in his face.

"Niall please." I repeated. I didn't want him to get hurt. He looked back at me and his body relaxed slightly. He walked over to me and picked me up bridal style. He set me on the counter and got out a towel before wetting it.

"why are you here?" I whimpered as Niall put the towel on my wound.

"I'm here because we need to get back together and remarried." He sighs.

"after you just insulted me and called me a slut? No fucking way." I laughed. If looks could kill I'd be dead right now. Niall went back to the sink to put the towel under the water again. John ran over and punch me in the face, knocking me off the counter. Niall quickly turned around but John was on top of me already. He slapped me in the face 2 more times before putting a hand on my neck. Niall was try to pull his off of me but he got pushed back onto the ground. Niall got a cutting board and hit John in the head. He fell off of me and I look over to see him passed out. He was probably so drunk and the cutting board just finished off the job. Niall runs over to me.

"I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Why are you sorry?" He asked.

"I didn't mean for you to get hurt or get into this fight at all. Im really sorry." I whispered.

"no need for you to be sorry." He smiled. I nodded my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm used to it." I sighed and sat up look at my leg that has blood smeared everywhere.

"You don't have to be." He said.

"what do you mean?" I asked.

"You don't have to be used to being treated like shit. You're a nice and beautiful girl. Anyone would be lucky to have you so don't waist your time on the douche bag." He points to John. "You don't have to be fine either. I mean you have an abusive ex husband who still comes around to beat you up. You have a daughter with cancer and one leg. You also have a job and you have to be able to pay all these bills and I know it's hard. My family didn't have a lot of money, well actually we had barely any when I grew up in Ireland. I can't imagine being in your shoes and you're still always trying to smile and be happy. You don't always have to be fine. Even the strongest break at some point." He continued.

his words hit me hard. I knew my life was bad but hearing it come from someone else made me realize just how bad it is. "I know it's just I have to be strong for Lizzie." I whispered. My phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my purse. It's the hospital. Something's wrong. I can't take much more tonight please please please. I took a shaky deep breath before answering it.

"Hello." I say.

"Hello is this Elizabeth's mother?" A girl asked.

"yes is there something wrong?" I asked knowing that there is because of the slight panic in her voice.

"your daughter has just had a seizure. She's had to have immediate surgery. I'm sorry to say this but the is a 50% she might die." She said.

"Okay thank you. I'll be right there." I said trying not to cry anymore.

"what's going on?" Niall asked. I tried and tried but I lost it. I started sobbing and I just laid down on the floor. If she dies then I die. I have nothing else to live for.

"What going on?" Niall repeated.

"She might die. There's only a 50% chance she'll live. She can't die she can't." I yelled. He hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed more and more.

"We should probably go to the hospital. I'll get her clothes into a bag and I'll be down to help you. Don't move and if he wakes up just yell my name. " he whispered in my ear. I nodded not wanting him to leave me but I can't get up. I'm in too much pain, emotionally and physically. He got up and walked up the stairs. I continued to silently cry and look at the ground. I haven't cried in so long. I don't like to cry in front of people especially Lizzie. Seriously though, I can't live without her. If I lose her I will lose myself. I have no one else in my life, no reason to live, no reason to breath, no reason to do anything.

Notes

Hey guys. Sorry it's been a while I've been very busy and I haven't been feeling my best lately.
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