Dark Star

The only place I felt safe these days were in Harry’s arms and even there I was sometimes caught off guard. We were taking a walk through the park when I leaned forward to kiss him on the lips, only for him to lightly push me away.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Harry mumbled, so I stood on my tiptoes and went to kiss him again. “Stop it.”

“Why?” I asked puzzled.

“Because.”

He looked uncomfortable as he diverted his eyes.

“Nobody’s watching.” I told him, but when he did not respond, I began to walk ahead.

“Don’t be like that.” He said, taking me by the arm.

“You’re the one pushing me away.”

“Do I look like I’m pushing you away?” He asked, gathering me into his arms. We were now
face to face, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Then what’s your problem?”

“I- I don’t know what it is about kissing…”

“Um, we’ve kissed before.” I pointed out.

“It just makes me feel a little uncomfortable.” He said awkwardly. “I’m not always a touchy feely kind of person… you know?”

We resumed walking side by side and I could not help but think back to all our past encounters.

“I’m not a touchy feely kind of person.”

“I’m not a heart and flowers type.”

These had been things he had told me as I recalled our moments of passion had been mostly sex and not a lot of romance. Sure, we had kissed, but all of a sudden I realised that despite how intimate we had been, it was never about romance, it was just a raw, crackling sexual chemistry in which we sought our release. I remembered how some of our most intense encounters had been Harry taking me from behind and not even facing me. I let out a deep breath as I slowed down, trailing behind him for a moment before he realised I was not beside him.

“So are you ready for tonight?” Harry asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded, thinking of my confrontation with Harry’s Mother. I was supposed to attend the dinner party she had organised for my family, but that was not a comforting thought. She resented me being involved in anything to do with Harry’s career and had not minced words telling me that she did not want him returning to the spotlight. As much as she resented me for it, I resented her for underestimating Harry.

“Ali?” Harry said when I did not reply to his question.

“Yeah? I mean, yeah… I’m ready for tonight. Should be interesting.” I had not told Harry about what had happened with Anne and I was not planning on it now.

Maybe tonight would not be so bad, I thought. I relished any opportunity I had to spend time with Harry and even though my parents had no idea that we were together did not spoil the fact that I was going to be with him tonight.

X

I practically lived in jeans these days, so it felt pretty nice to put on a flowery maxi dress. As I checked my reflection in the mirror, I could hear my Father call out that it was time to go.

“Okay!” I yelled, grabbing a bottle of wine from my dresser. I knew my Mother had organised a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Anne, so I didn’t want to turn up empty handed. Maybe a glass of wine would loosen Anne up and make her forget our little run in. As we walked next door I mused that maybe I should have a couple of glasses to loosen myself up. I could not help but smile to myself as we stood at Harry’s front door.

Anne opened it with the same sparkling smile and I felt myself relax until her gaze turned to me.

“I’m glad you could make it.” She said still smiling, but her face devoid of any warmth. I nodded and smiled back as I walked inside and was led onto the back patio. The dining table was beautifully laid with a linen tablecloth and crystal glasses. Anne fussed over the flowers and rushed to find a vase as we greeted Harry’s stepfather Robin. I was politely listening to a conversation between him and my Father when Harry suddenly appeared.

“Hello Harry!” My mother exclaimed, briefly glancing at me. Once the perfunctory greetings were over, I stepped forward and pressed the bottle of wine into Harry’s hands. He looked down at it before merely blinking at me with a faint smile on his face.

“Can I offer you a glass of champagne?” Robin suddenly asked.

“Um yeah, I mean yes… that would be great.” I responded as I watched Robin pop the cork.

I knew Harry was hovering nearby, but he was soon distracted by my father who engaged him conversation. I gratefully accepted the glass of champagne and took a sip as Anne returned.

“It’s such a nice evening, isn’t it?” She exclaimed and everybody murmured in response. Harry and I merely exchanged amused glances as she fussed more over the little details on the table, like the gold napkin rings. Harry and I had barely uttered a word to each other by time we took our seats but I was secretly glad when he sat next to me.

The first course was served as I looked down at my beautifully presented seared scallops on a bed of rocket, I wondered if Anne Styles had ordered this from a catering company or whether she had cooked herself, I felt a hand on my thigh. I jumped slightly, almost knocking over my champagne glass, only to realise it was Harry’s warm hand. I glanced over at him but his attention was focussed elsewhere. It only took a couple of glasses of champagne for me to feel lightheaded as Harry’s fingers continued to lightly caress me.

As Anne stood to clear the plates, Harry spoke up.

“Let me do that.”

Ignoring Anne’s protests, Harry and I stood up simultaneously and began to collect the dishes. I followed him into the kitchen.

“What are you doing out there?” I asked.

“What?”

“So you can touch me whenever you want and I can’t even kiss you?”

Harry paused for a moment before smiling and taking a step forward, backing me into the wall.

“You’ve got a problem with that?” He asked, his green eyes mere inches away.

“Yeah.” I breathed before clearing my throat nervously, hoping nobody would walk in on us. I
felt his hand lift my dress and make its way up my thigh before resting between my legs.

“Yeah?” He said.

Before I could even think of a response, he dropped his hand and quickly adjusted my dress before we left the kitchen and returned to the table. Nobody even noticed our return, except for Anne who regarded us curiously. Her mouth set into a straight line before she abruptly stood up and murmured something about checking the oven. We were halfway through our main meal when my Father made the mistake of speaking up.

“Harry, I heard about your recent performance… actually I read about it in the paper…”

My Dad trailed off when he noticed Harry shift uncomfortably in his seat.

“Yes… well that’s how I found out about it too.” Anne said in a clipped tone.

“Really? Well, maybe we should have been invited then.” My Dad’s attempt at humour did not resonate with everyone.

“Maybe you should have asked the organiser.” Anne said and our eyes met briefly before I glanced at my confused Father.

“And who would that be?” He asked.

“Ali.”

All heads turned toward me as I clutched the stem of my wineglass as though in defence.

“Ali?” My mother echoed.

“Yes… she did a pretty good job of it too, didn’t you Ali?” Anne’s voice was nice and light, but even I could not mistake the tension in the air. “Everyone else seemed to know about it though… except for me, of course.”

“Why are you… what do you mean you organised it?” My mother still sounded confused.

“I thought it would be a great idea,” I spoke up, “I thought it would be good for Harry… to get out there again. He’s so talented…”

“Jenny, I think Harry and Ali have been spending more time together than you realise.” Anne told my mother.

“Well… Ali was working for him for a while there, wasn’t she?” My Father pointed out.

“I think things have progressed far beyond that.” Anne said softly.

“Yes we are together.” I said. “And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“There is nothing wrong with it.” Anne countered. “But when you start encouraging Harry to return to the kind of life that he escaped all those years ago… well that’s when I have to speak up.”

“Why are you so against Harry doing this?”

“Because I don’t want to be the one to pick up the pieces all over again.”

Anne’s words were enough to silence me as I looked over at Harry who had remained silent this entire time. I had no idea what she had been through, but I knew exactly what my parents were now thinking. I knew that they were bemused at the fact that I was secretly dating an older man who did not seem particularly stable, especially if Anne’s words were anything to go by. When Anne opened her mouth to continue, Robin gently placed his hand on her arm.

“Anne… let’s just change the subject, okay?”

It was too late however; the atmosphere had darkened and even dessert could not save it.
We rushed through the rest of the evening and by the time we got home, my attempt to escape to my bedroom was instantly thwarted by my parents.

“So, how long has this been going on for?” My mum asked.

“What does it matter? I like him and he likes me… what’s wrong with that?”

“A lot is wrong with it… especially when you don’t even bother to tell us that you’re seeing
someone!”

“Especially when it’s Harry Styles.” My father added. “You heard Anne… he has a few issues to sort out. I don’t think it’s a good idea getting involved in his career.”

“Your Father’s right.”

“That gig was the best thing he has done in six years. Sitting around at home is not going to make things better.”

“But it’s not up to you to do all of this for him.” My dad said.

“Dad, I’m old enough to know what I’m doing.”

“Old enough?” My mum cried.

“I’m twenty years old… he’s twenty-six… I think we’re old enough to make our own decisions.”

“He’s too old for you.” My Dad grumbled. “And I don’t think he’s right for you.”

“Well, I don’t agree… because I think he is.”

I stomped off into my bedroom and slammed the door, instantly regretting my teenage like behaviour. But I couldn’t help but still feel angry as I flopped onto my bed. My phone on the bedside table beeped at that moment.

Meet me outside.

It was Harry and I instantly scrambled to my feet. It wasn’t hard to get out of the house without my parent’s hearing, and by now I didn’t care if they did hear me or not. I found him at the front, sitting in his car and as I sat in the front seat, I noticed him watching me closely.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” I said a little too brightly.

“Your parents okay?”

“Yeah… they’re fine.” I replied.

“What did they say?”

“Nothing.” I fibbed.

“Let’s got for a drive.” He said somewhat grimly.

We drove for a while that night and I enjoyed the feeling of the evening breeze blowing through my hair. Once we reached a clearing, he stopped and mumbled something about going for a walk. We strolled arm in arm in silence and I was busy looking up at the stars when his voice broke into my thoughts.

“We can stop this if you want…”

“Stop what?” I asked puzzled.

“I dunno…” He said. “I just don’t want to be the one holding you back.”

“Holding me back from what?” I asked. “If you’re talking about what my parents think, well I don’t care what they think. I love you… and that’s all that matters.”

We stopped and solemnly faced each other before his lips curled into a small smile.

“Are you going to be one to tame me?” He asked and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well, if I am the one who’s gonna tame you… then the first thing I have to do is teach you how to kiss.”

I pressed my mouth onto his parted lips and even though I clung onto him, he did not even attempt to pull away as he responded to my deep kiss.

Notes

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