I Can't Fall for him!

I finish dressing myself and Taylor helps me zip up my dress, I am wearing a plain black skater dress with a skinny black belt over my stomach area, and black pumps. I touch my chest and really wish my cross necklace was on me. Taylor is wearing a lace long sleeve dress with black flats. She takes my hand and we head out of the bathroom and we walk down stairs where I see Jeremy in his suit, a white shirt with a black tie and black pants and shoes, standing next to him is Calvin Taylor stands besides him taking him arm. We head outside where the car is picking us up to take us to the church.

The car ride is pretty silent Taylor is holding my hand and Calvin and Jeremy making small conversation. It has been a week since she has been gone and everyday gets harder, I am all alone, thank god I have Taylor she comes over and stays the night sometimes I would be so lost without her and Calvin comes sometimes too. I haven't heard from Harry which I don't blame him, but I can't think about that today, today is the final goodbye to mum. We reach the church and I honestly do not want to go in, I have my speech in my hands and my hands are shaking, Taylor grabs my hand and I take a deep breath "Come on honey, you can do this." I nod and make my way out of the car, the first people I see is Taylor's Mum Andrea. I first met Taylor when her mum was at one of her check ups one day and I was sitting on a chair while my mum was laying in the hospital bed and she just started taking to me and that's basically how we became friends. "Thank you so much for coming Andrea" I say hugging her. "Of course sweetie" There are surpassingly a lot of people here, I make my way into the church but I see three familiar boys walking my way

. Louis, Liam and Niall I can't believe they came but where's Harry? "Hey love we heard what happened, hope it's ok we cam" Liam says and I nod. They all pull me in for a hug I am so grateful they are here. "Yea of course thank you so much for coming." I step back. I see a tall brunette girl behind Liam, "Oh Sam this is my girlfriend Sophia" wow she's gorgeous and her Liam fit well. "Hi Sam" she gives a small wave and I smile then she comes and gives me a hug. "I'm sorry for your loss" she says coming out of the hug. "Thank you"
Tears begin to fall from my eyes "Thank you guys so much for coming." I say between my sobs "it means a lot"
"Hey" Niall says "Of course we are all here ok, whatever you need" Niall puts his arm around me. "Come on let's hid in" Louis says and I nod we all make our way into the church. I am sitting in the front row with Jeremy just the two of us. Behind is Taylor, her mum and Calvin followed Louis, Liam, Sophia and Niall

My hands start to shake even more, it is time for my speech, time to say goodbye to mum. "you can do this" Taylor leans in and whispers. I get up, pull my dress down a bit and walk over to the stand. I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. Then the church door opens and I see him and I smile a little, he takes a seat quietly next to Niall. Then I start my speech.

"I miss my mum" I say and take a deep breath. "Every night Jeremy and I would sit with her at the hospital, it wasn't much but we were there all of us together." I begin to sob "mum was the best person you could ever imagine" I say between my sobs I can't see to control my tears at the moment, I look up at everyone Taylor is crying while holding her mums hand and Calvin has his around her. Sophia has her head buried on Liam's shoulder , Niall and Louis have red eyes and Harry is looking at me with a sad look on his face. "I just--- want to hear her voice again." I can't seem to go on, Harry then stands up and comes next to me, pulling the paper closer to him, he has his hand wrapped around my arm he clears his throat and begins.
"I miss my mum, I still remember our last conversation, about love and how we define our own kind of love. No matter how many times a person may hurt you, you brush it aside because your love for one another is too much and conquered all. Our mother's love for Jeremy and I is something that we will always have and carry with us. The last thing she said to us was for us to be happy, but how can we be when she's gone" Harry then starts to lightly sob. "Mum always had wise words to say about anyone, she always looked at the positive rather than negative things, she lead life with no regrets or resentment. I am inspired from that to get up from bed everyday and to keep going, We miss you mum. "We miss you mum but I know you are happy now with dad, so you can both be in peace together and continue loving each other, so for now we are just going to miss you." Harry sees and takes my hand, and we both step off and he comes and sits next to me.


Everyone has come up to me and shared their condolences, the boys including Harry is still here engaging in their own conversations. I move over to Harry and he hugs me. "Thank you for coming" I say "Of course I would come" he chuckles a little. "You wrote a great speech"
"Thanks" I whisper and smile.


Everyone is back at my apartment downstairs I am just in my room I just need to be alone at the moment. I am sitting on my chair looking at the window looking at the city view. I hear a light knock, "here you are hiding" Harry says making his way in. "I bought you some food" he puts the plate to me "No thanks, I'm not hungry" I say. He grabs something from the plate and puts it in his mouth then puts the plate on the table beside the bed and sits next to me.
"Look I'm sorry for last week" I say "Hey don't even worry about that." he says.

How can people warn me about him he is so sweet, gentle kind and genuine. How can anyone deny his amazing personality and the way he has demonstrated to me that he can care for others apart fro himself. We sit there in silence I have no idea how to start a conversation up I always feel so nervous around him and I kind of like that feeling. "I don't think I can bare to lose anyone else in my life" I break the silence. He turns his head and uses his index finger and places it under my chin and I face him "you will never lose me, I promise you" he leans in and kisses my cheek, I then make my way to my bed and lay there and he comes next to me and lays with me and evenly we both fall asleep.

Notes