I Can't Fall for him!

Under my bed covers my head is resting on the pillow, little tears falling from my eyes. Looking up at the ceiling already missing my mum, its only been an hour since I've been home and I miss her so much, if I am struggling this bad now, what is the rest of my life going to be without her. I roll over to the left side and in my doorway I see Harry he has a mug in his hands and comes and sits on the side of the bed "here love have this you will fell better" he says giving the mug to me, I take a sip and place it on the side table. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you any of this" I whisper. "Hey you have nothing to apologise for" he says holding my hands and kisses them both. He then tucks my hair behind my ear, and rubs his thumb on my cheek, I sniffle and lay my head back on my pillow, its four in the morning and I am so exhausted. Harry then gets up and places a delicate on my forehead, "I'll let you get some rest" he says and begins to walk away. "Harry" I say in a loud whisper, he turns back around "Can you please stay here with me?"
"I was going to sleep on the couch downstairs, but of course I'll stay here with you" he replies. This man he is warming my heart right now, he removes his jeans and his shirt, I open up the cover on the bed and let him in. He wraps his arm wound my waist and bring me closer into him and uses his left arm to rub my back, I look up at him and just stare into his beautiful green eyes, he is still holding me and I begin to cry softly again and he starts playing with me "shh love, shh" he says trying to calm me down. I have never felt this close to someone before, here he is holding me when I am venerable which I never am and I feel so secure, so safe right now. After ten minutes of holding me I see has fallen asleep with his hands still around my waist I move my head up and place a kiss on his cheek and with that I fall asleep in his arms.

My eyes flutter open I turn to the side to see an empty space, where is Harry? I then stretch go into the bathroom to pee and make my way downstairs. I reach the kitchen and see Harry just hang up the phone. "Morning" he says and places his phone on the bench. I smile and sit on the stool, "I was just helping with some funeral stuff, hope that's ok" he says. I look down and snap! I'll try and play this down a bit.
"why? I ask. "I just thought maybe it would be too hard for you."
"Of course this is hard Harry, my mum just died I don't need you making any of these decisions for me." I raise my voice a little. "I'm sorry I just was checking for available times at the church" he says in a softer tone.
"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP HARRY!" I yell trying to hold my tears in. why am I being so bitch to him? "Ok, ok I'm sorry" he puts his hands up in defence.
"I think you should go" I say why would I say that?
"Sam, look I'm so---" he says
""Harry please just go." I say again. WHY?
"Sam no, I'll stay here with you and keep my nose out of it." he grabs my hands but I pull away.
"HARRY GO PLEASE, I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP, YOU ARE NOT MY BOYFRIEND" I yell and regret it the second I say it. It just came out I didn't mean it, well he isn't my boyfriend but maybe I wanted him to be, god he hates me now. I look at him and his face looks so sad no thanks to me. "ok then, I'll go" he grabs his phone from the bench, "Umm I'll see you" he says and walks away. I go back into my room and cry myself asleep, this time these tears are different there not of mum, but for Harry I didn't mean to snap at him all he done was be here for me, and I kick him out.

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