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You aren't going to leave me even after I lied

new story

Kirsty's Pov

I wake up and go to mums room and sing happy birthday. my dad and I make her breakfast in bed, jess brought her a cuppa.
my best mate jamie came over to my house so we could go and see our favourite band One Direction she Loves louis and love liam. On our way we listen to their latest album four.........jamieemds up preggies kirsty gts married to liam.

Notes

please tell me what u think.

Comments

i really love it, even though it's moving really fast, but i love the plot haha

A_wonderland_rabbit
11/4/15

@qoodvibes
Sure hope my new on is a bit better

Louis'lolies
11/4/15

@Liamharrylouisandniall
Thanx much appreciated will read more please also tell me what you think of my new story

Louis'lolies
11/4/15

The structure of a play is actually quite unique, maybe even difficult when it comes to fan-fiction. However, even though you have the structure, your story is still missing a huge chunk.

I agree, you should keep this story on pause and go ahed to read some other pieces from some different authors. After that, perhaps you'll feel more confident to write your story.

Again, you story has potential but perhaps you need to think more about the quality of your writing?

qoodvibes
10/29/15

Honestly I'm not trying to hate but your moving a little bit too fast. I think you should read a few more stories and see how they type/act out a story. Once again this is not hate it is constructive criticism.