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You aren't going to leave me even after I lied

3

Louis: Babe you ready to tell them?
Me: Yes.
Both in unison: We're pregnant with twins.
Audience: *screams*
Random Journalist: How far along are you?
Me: little over 6 months.
Interviewer: So when is the new album coming?
Louis: One week.
Interviewer: Ok so have you guys thought of names?
Me: Yes if a girl either Daisy-Erin or Felicity-Erin, a boy after the boys.
interviewer: Okay that's all we have time for thank you for coming.

*1 month later* *at home in Bed sleeping*
Me: Lou, HELP!!! I think the baby's coming.
Louis: YAY I'm gonna be a dad.
Louis: Babe what must I do?
Me: Get towels we're going to have to have this baby here.
Louis: Ok Babe your're gonna have to push.
*after a few pushes the babies arrive*
Louis: They're girls.
Me: Their names are Daisy-Erin and Felicity-Erin.
Louis: Babe look what's already trending. #WelcometotheworldDaisy-ErinandFelicity-Erin
Me: Wow the fandom alredy know.

Notes

what do u think?xxxxx

Comments

i really love it, even though it's moving really fast, but i love the plot haha

A_wonderland_rabbit
11/4/15

@qoodvibes
Sure hope my new on is a bit better

Louis'lolies
11/4/15

@Liamharrylouisandniall
Thanx much appreciated will read more please also tell me what you think of my new story

Louis'lolies
11/4/15

The structure of a play is actually quite unique, maybe even difficult when it comes to fan-fiction. However, even though you have the structure, your story is still missing a huge chunk.

I agree, you should keep this story on pause and go ahed to read some other pieces from some different authors. After that, perhaps you'll feel more confident to write your story.

Again, you story has potential but perhaps you need to think more about the quality of your writing?

qoodvibes
10/29/15

Honestly I'm not trying to hate but your moving a little bit too fast. I think you should read a few more stories and see how they type/act out a story. Once again this is not hate it is constructive criticism.