What about Pakistani butterflies?

Harry’s POV

I find beautiful Valerie sleeping next to me when the sunlight wakes me up. I feel her warm skin against my body as I take her scent in. I am still thinking about next Tuesday.

I remember yesterday night. When I was making love to her for the second time on that night in her bed I had to hold back my tears. I don’t even know why I wanted to cry like a child on her arms but I just don’t want this to end. I really don’t; I’m not ready to let her go.

I look at her while she sleeps and I am totally aware I am never going to see anything this beautiful. I take a picture of her sleeping and I keep on torturing myself by looking at my girl. Just when I feel like crying again, I decide it is better for me to get up from the bed and actually do something.

I go out to the garden and sit down on one of Valerie’s hammock and mess with my phone. I see some pictures I took for the two of us and then some pictures I took of her. There is Valerie floating on her back at my swimming pool, Valerie laughing eating her soy ice cream, Valerie showing me her fruit salad with wet hair from the pool, Valerie trying to cover my camera with her hand having a cup of tea and a naked Valerie on my bed. I find a video I made at her kitchen a few mornings ago.

Valerie is making breakfast for the two of us and talking about Boonie and Clyde shooting.

-Are you filming me? - She smiles at the camera.

-Maybe. – I let out a chuckle which lets everyone see how much of a fool I am.

Valerie laughs and takes my cell phone away from me running upstairs laughing. She then enters her room and sits down on her bed.

-Hello baby. I don’t know where you are right now but I miss you. – She is smiling at the camera and she is so terribly beautiful. – I love so much and I am having the best month of my life with you. Do not miss me too much! – She laughs and then she tries to shut the video off. – How do you finish this thing? Oh, there we... – The video is finished.

I imagine that she is my real girlfriend and that she is saying that to me during a tour. I don’t know why she would say we can’t be together. I would flight wherever she is whenever I have a few days off and I will call her every day. I know for certain I’m in love with her and I don’t want her to go away.

---

Valerie’s POV

Harry was weird this morning. When I woke up he wasn’t in the bed and I found him on the garden talking to someone on the phone. He looked down this morning and when I asked him what was going on he didn’t answer. I have tried to be affectionate to him and pamper him so that we could make his frown upside down but nothing worked. We kissed on the counter long and lovingly after breakfast, but he didn’t give me a sign of wanting to have sex with me or anything and I didn’t either although I wanted him to make love to me the way he did last night.

Our way to the beach has been funny so far though. I’m wearing the sunglasses I got at the mall with Cara and my white dotted red bikini with a white transparent blouse. Harry is wearing a black swimsuit that covers his legs just till the middle of the thighs and a white t-shirt. We have been discussing now for good ten minutes which kids’ cartoons are better after he teased me about Acquarella. I know he is just teasing me, but I play along with him to try to enlighten the mood and make him be as playful as usual. I don’t know what’s wrong but he didn’t want to tell me.

-I mean, Disney isn’t honest at all. Tarzan didn’t have a beard and Jane did never get burned and, for god’s sake, why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog? Who are they trying to fool? – I say pretending to be quite frustrated.

Harry laughs and then shakes his head looking at me like I have no solution.

-They are movies for kids, Val. – He says in between his fits of laughter. – They are just trying to tell stories; they don’t need to be real, you know.

- They are encouraging falsehood. I just think they should do them a bit more accurate so that kids realize that life can be wonderful even if you don’t have a dog that talks to you. I mean, as long as you have a Harry.

He smiles foolishly and looks at me for a couple of seconds. Then he grabs me by my waist pulling me closer to him. Once our bodies are touching, he tucks a strain of hair behind my ear and lean on to kiss me. Everything is going in some sort of slow motion at the moment and I’m feeling like this is so dramatic. He kisses me sweetly and tenderly; there is eagerness nowhere to be found and I know I’m going to miss him. When he pulls out from our kiss, he hugs me tight.

-I love – he inhales - the way you smell.

-And I love you. – I tell him smiling.

After I pull out of our embrace, I see him smiling from the corner of my eye all our way to the beach. I hope that’s enough for him to forget about whatever was worrying him this morning. I can’t take my eyes off of this man.

---

HARRY’S POV

As we make our way to the beach through the forest, I catch her looking at me from the corner of her eyes more than once. I haven’t been able to erase this smile from my face though I’m pretty sure I look just like a fool. I am anyway so maybe I shouldn’t even hide it. I am not feeling as down as this morning and I’m actually quite mad with myself. We only have nine days together but I don’t want to ruin any single one of them by acting this way. It’s not like I can’t help feeling down though.

Valerie is particularly beautiful today and I can’t wait to see her in her bikini at the beach. Sure it’s not the first time I see her but I would never get used to her body as I would never get enough of her. I remember when we made love at the beach and my fantasies about living with her alone in a deserted island and, even though her friends are nice, I wish they weren’t there waiting for us; I wish no one was at the beach so that I could make love to her again. As I’m thinking about how sick I am, Valerie picks up her phone.

-Hey pretty. We are on our way. Where are you guys exactly? (...) What do you mean? Oh, I told Sandra and Zac, for some reason I thought they were telling you guys (...) His name is Harry (...) We are...friends. – She smiles.

Ouch. Not only she hasn’t told these friends of hers about me yet since she has just told them my name but she has said that we are friends. How can this girl be so bipolar? So I’m here tearing myself apart from the fact that we are breaking up in nine days and torturing myself with the thought of missing her and she tells her friends we are friends. That’s what makes me come back to reality.

This is not real. We are not in a real relationship. She is not my real girlfriend and I am not his real boyfriend. I knew it from the start but at some point I got lost and now it is not nice to remember that. To be fair, even though this is not real I do really love her, and that’s as real as it can be.

The rest of the way is all silence. I don’t want to talk to her because I know I will sound bothered and I don’t want to tell her anything because I know she would get mad. Either she has no idea what she does to me or she is evil.

We reach the sand and I see her friend Sandra waving at us as excited as usual. I really like that girl. She is beautiful and I know she cares about Val. I think I’m spending most of the time with her today if there aren’t any other Val’s friends that I like. Val is still looking for their friends behind her sunglasses until I grab her elbow to tell her where they are. She thanks me and we head towards them. Let’s see how this friends’ day with Valerie works out.

After she introduced me to everyone as “her friend Harry”, her guy friends proposed to play football and I agreed mainly because I didn’t want to be around Val if she was going to pretend to be nothing more than a friend to me.

As we play football I couldn’t quit looking at her while she was lying under the sun chatting with her friends, laughing as crazy girls. I kind of like her male friends though I know most of them would gladly hook up with her if she let them. I wonder if she has ever.

At first, Valerie was so excited to see her female friends that she didn’t pay much attention to me whereas I have been all day glancing at her at a friendly distance. But after a while I have caught her looking at me quite a few times and looking for eye contact. I have always looked away though, don’t even know why. At some point, Sandra came and sat next to me on the sand.

-Hey, Harry. How are you doing? – She asked grinning.

-I’m good, Sandra. You? – For some reason her huge grin makes me chuckle.

-I’m a bit confused. What are you guys doing?

-What do you mean? Which guys are you talking about?

-I’m talking about crazy Val and you. Why are you guys acting like you don’t even know each other? You are her boyfriend for god’s sake and I can tell she is dying to talk to you but for some reason she wouldn’t. I mean, half an hour ago I was telling her the most interesting and exciting story ever and she wasn’t even looking at me, too distracted controlling all of your movements. Creepy – she judges – even.

-I mean she has pretty much ignored me since we got to the beach and, well, she.. I don’t know I figured she wanted me to play the friend roll today.

-I don’t think so and I don’t know why she would want you to do that but even if she does, this is not the “friend” roll; this is the “stranger” one. I mean you guys haven’t even talked. And...I’m going to be honest with you even if I’m putting my life at risk if Vals finds out... – I chuckle again. – So you know I’ve known Val for quite a while now – I nod – and I know how hard it can be to deal with her but I can tell you she hasn’t been like this in forever. I mean I see her second guessing herself, smiling at your pics, getting as self-conscious as Val could possibly gets – I laugh at that with her, Val is as confident as humanly possible and thinking about her questioning herself is something I don’t particularly like but at least it makes me believe she really is in love with me. – I mean she got it bad. – Sandra smiles.

As Sandra lies down next to me to get all the sun she can, I stop her.

-Hey, Sandra, thank you. I really wish Val would make us meet a bit more. You are nice.

-You can call me Sandy.

We smile at each other and I see Valerie standing up from her towel. She is no longer wearing her sunglasses and she is now taking her hair into a bun. I have full view of her body while she arches her back to get all her hair up in the bun. She looks as hot as I have never seen her in that white dotted red bikini and no makeup on. Man is she beautiful. Once she has finished, she catches me looking at her but, after my talking to Sandra, I decide not to look away this time. She smiles timidly at me.

-I’m getting a drink. Do you want anything?

A few people answer since she hasn’t said my name or anything so they took it as a general question. She laughs looking at me and makes me laugh too.

-Alright guys, all of you can take it yourselves. I was talking to Harry. – I smile at the distinction. I am simply a fool for her.

-Whatever you are getting Val. Thank you.

She then came and sat next to me giving me a beer and pulls me into a hug as soon as she sits next to me.

-Are you having fun?

-Yeah, your friends are cool.

-They are. I saw you talking to Sandy. That girl is out of her mind. – Val looks at Sandra, who is asleep right next to me. She really is nuts and I laugh the second I see her opens her mouth completely asleep.

- She is a nice girl.

-So you like her? – She is looking at me and I can’t read her expression. Either she is finding out if her best friend and I get along or...is she jealous? I smile at her; I’ll give it a shot.

-Actually yeah. She is funny and beautiful. – I tease but I can’t help smiling at her. She then gets closer to me in my towel putting her hands behind her butt, giving me full view of her breasts while she hums. Oh, man.

-Why don’t you ask her out then? She is single at the moment and I’m pretty sure she would go mad if someone like you asks her out. – She doesn’t seem one bit bothered, which ends up annoying me.

-Do you think she’ll say yes? – She nods smiling at me, her eyes squinted. She is something between amused and pissed off. – I’ll consider it then.

-No, you won’t. I mean, I’ll have to kill her if by any chance she touches you and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be responsible for a murder, do you? – She smiles at my surprised expression and then leaned on and pecks my lips. – You are mine.

Although it was just a peck, it has made my heart beats faster and she has kept her lips just inches from mine, her forehead resting on mine. Then she lets her hair down of her bun.

-Are you not going to kiss me, Hazz? – I feel her lips touching mine while she talks and I bring my hands to her face and kiss her hard but discreetly. I know everyone is most likely looking at us.

She pulls away from our kiss and hugs me rubbing her hands down my back and humming against my neck.

-I missed you even though you’ve been ignoring me all day. – She starts to kiss my neck, hidden by her hair and I try not to groan or shut my eyes because I don’t want her friends to know she can do this to me that simply. – You look hot.

And with that she stands up and put her bikini in place looking at me.

-I’m going to bathe. – She smiles at me and turns around to walk to the sea, giving me full quality view of her butt. – I really need cold water.

She smiles back at me while I widen my eyes, making her laugh. Not many of their friends have heard that and those who have agree it’s so hot under the sun, but I have inferred another meaning. Man, I am horny or is she?

---

VALERIE’S POV

I walked to the sea enjoying Harry’s reaction. I truly love I can get him reacts like that. I hope he is coming to bathe with me otherwise I’ll go find him. I want to show him the cave for us to be alone. I want to know what’s going on in his mind today and why he is this down. I don’t particularly enjoy seeing him this way and I want to pamper him and make sure he is alright. I love him so much it’s hard for me to see him down to be honest.

I stopped at the shore letting the waves reach my toes. The water is cold but nothing I can’t take. Plus, if Harry really isn’t coming, I’m going to need this cold water. How on Earth could he be that hot?

This is serious though. I mean what the hell is this boy doing? When I came to him and kissed him in the lips I was eager as hell but, honestly, I was also jealous. Why would he ignore me like that all day? He hasn’t even talked nor looked at me and I couldn’t help but to think that he wasn’t interested in me when my many beautiful friends were around. When I saw him smiling at Sandy that way, I just had to go get him again. What am I going to do when he is away and smiling at beautiful girls every day? As I am thinking about Harry and everything he builds in my stomach, someone embraces my waist and belly from behind and I feel Harry’s chin on my shoulder after he kissed my skin there.

-I thought you weren’t coming.

-You do realize all of your friends have seen us, right?

He didn’t seem angry and his tone was steady but his question was weird. He has wrapped my whole body with his arms though so why would he not want my friends to see us? I oblige myself to turn around but I keep his arms in my shoulders because I don’t want to break our contact. I have missed it today.

-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you didn’t want my friends to see me kissing you. For some reason, you have ignored me all day and I felt like kissing you. I’m sorry though. You can just tell them it was the first time or that I was horny; last bit would be true.

-What are you talking about? – Harry turns serious all of a sudden and takes my chin forcing me to look at him. – I kissed you back, didn’t I? I am glad you kissed me; I couldn’t take you anymore. I just thought you didn’t want your friends to know about us.

He remains silent looking at my lips and I caress his cheeks so that he looks at me.

-Why would you think that?

-You said we were friends when you were talking to that chick on the phone.

-Are we not?

-I thought we were more than that.

-Well, you know what you are to me, don’t you? You are my boyfriend for now.

-That’s not what you said.

-Why does it matter what I say? Words are just nonsense. You should care about what I do when I am with you. I love you, Harry.

He sighs and looks at my lips and then he looks at my feet and hugs me. Why would he be this sad today?

-I’m sorry. – He tells me.

-It’s alright, baby. – I kiss the tip of his nose. – I love you so much. – For some reason I feel like I need to assure him I do.

I decide that acts are better than words and, to be honest, I am not much of a talker myself so I kiss him passionately trying to get him to understand what he means to me. He takes a few seconds but then he starts kissing me back and his tongue plays with mine. I have my hands on his waist while he takes my face and deepens our kiss. The taste of his mouth makes me think what I would do if I never get to feel it again.

After a few minutes, I pull away and run to the water, teasing him showing him my tongue. He shakes his head and comes after me but he is not even running. What a boring guy.

-You know in the movies the boy runs after the girl.

-Well movies are about love, what are you about?

I was drowning when he pulled that out at me and I dive a little far away from him. When I reappear on the surface I catch him looking for me with a frown. I tell him to follow me and he does, squinting his eyes first. I need to talk to him but I want some privacy. I am taking him to the cave and making him forget whatever that is worrying him and assuring him I’m deeply, madly and foolishly in love with him.

While I’m diving a few metres in front of him, I kept repeating his words in my head. “What are you about?” I really wish I knew. Of course I love him, but I can’t promise him endless love or a stable relationship. I just can’t and he can’t either even if he has said to me a few times already that he doesn’t want our relationship to end but for sure I don’t want it to end either. I wish it didn’t have to end but it does, because I’m going to Brazil when he is going to be in England and we are most likely not going to see each other in months. There is no way we are making that work. Oh, dear, what a mess I have in my mind.

If there is something I know for certain is that I am madly in love with him but then again, I can’t keep up with a relationship if I’m not going to see him. I don’t know what I would do if we never saw each other again or if he didn’t want to kiss me as badly as I want to kiss him but in the back of my mind, I know that’s eventually going to happen.

I lean my back on the wall of rocks waiting desperately for Harry to appear. I really wish whatever that is worrying him is not severe. I remember how down I was when we first fought and I wonder whether I have done something that could bother him. When I see him reappears on the surface of the water I can’t help smiling. Whatever it is, it’s not tearing us apart. Right now, it’s just me and him here in this natural cave, hidden from anyone else. That’s all that matters to me.

Harry swims towards me and rests his hands on the rock on the sides of my head, confining me between his arms. I am looking at him right now and it feels like everything else is good out there, but I can tell he is worried.

-Harry, I love you so much I think I’m going crazy. – He sighs and I look for something in his eyes which makes me understand what’s going on.

-I love you too. – He rests his forehead on mine – I really do.

-What’s going on, Hazz? Talk to me, baby, I want to know what’s troubling you.

I stare at him, looking at those eyes I have already memorized. I can’t help creasing my forehead as I try to look for something in his eyes that gives me a clue about him. He looks intently at every inch of skin of my face.

-I’m going to miss you, Val. – Why would he be this miserable all of a sudden? We were alright yesterday.

-Hey, hey – I take his face to try to calm him down. – I’m going to miss you too but...

He can’t be putting this on me all the time. This is not ending because I want it to end; this is ending because we are going to be too far away and too busy to take care of each other. It’s just pointless.

-It’s really not that awful. You are going on tour and you are going to meet beautiful girls everywhere, for god’s sake you are Harry Styles!

-I don’t want to meet any beautiful girl, Valerie. –He is making this so hard on me. - Why can't you understand that? - I wish I could believe him but I know from my experience I can’t; not even my fiancé could keep up with our relationship. – I want you.

I press my lips sweetly against his shutting him up.

-You got me now, babe. – I remind him. I don’t want us to ruin our last week together. I caress his face while we look intently into each other’s eyes. – I want you to take me here.

---

HARRY’S POV

Valerie looks at me too seductively for me to handle and undoes her bikini top, freeing her breasts. Oh Jesus Christ. She leans on and kisses my collarbone, leaving kisses in my neck all the way to my ear.

Her words have sent me on edge and between her skin touching mine and her lips kissing every inch of my skin, I’m pretty sure I’m making the water around me evaporate. I search desperately for her mouth but she wouldn’t let me take it and I can feel her smiling while she kisses my neck. She is such a tease and I foolishly love it. I can play that game too though.

As she continues to kiss and suck my neck, I touch her trough the thin fabric of her bikini bottom and I feel her squeezing her labial lips together, driving me insane. I keep on touching her through the fabric and caressing her sex, enjoying the way her whole body clenches.

She then peers with kisses her way to my mouth and as soon as she kisses the corner of it she stops her lips inches away from mine, looking at them.

-You are such a tease. – She whispers inches away from my lips.

Her lips have feather-touched mine and I am desperate to kiss her but she pulls away smiling, alright.

I introduce my hand in her bikini bottom fully touching her sex, earning her moan. As soon as I introduce my fingers into her entrance, she threw her head back in pleasure leaving her neck exposed for me to kiss her. She keeps on moaning while I move my fingers inside her and the only view of her in ecstasy excites me to the point of hurting.

-Valerie. – I call her name not knowing that my voice was going to sound so desperate. She has noticed it too because she smiles widely.

-Yeah? – She says with her eyes closed and her head back.

-Kiss me.

I didn’t expect her to please me that quick but she leans on and kisses me feverishly and passionately. I groan in her mouth as soon as her tongue plays with my bottom lip, begging for her to kiss me harder. She does, bringing her hands to my face and pulling me closer, earning another groan from my throat.

-Take me Harry. – She says against my lips. I think if I don’t take her now, I’m going to go mad for good but....no way. Condoms. – Baby, please. – She begging me to make love to her is the hottest thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Even though I’m on edge, I realize it’s too risky to do it without a condom so I keep on fingering her so that she cums, but she takes my wrist.

-Harry, I want you to make love to me, please.

I am pretty sure my eyes are bulging. She has never been this imploring to me and it is really turning me on. She is looking at me sternly and eagerly at the very same time and for some reason it makes me feel incredibly good. It’s going to take everything in me not to thrust myself into her but I couldn’t get her pregnant in our situation.

-I don’t have a condom.

As soon as I said that she smiles and pulls me into the hottest kiss she has ever given me. I truly don’t understand a thing.

-I am taking birth control pills. I was tired of condoms. – She kisses me eagerly again and then she whispers in my ear. – I don’t want to feel latex; I want to feel your skin.

Only her words makes me moan and as soon as she removes my swimsuit, keeping it in her hand, I get inside her and I swear to God I think I’m dying from pleasure right now. Not that I am complaining.

-You are so tight, Val. – I tell her between moans and she digs her nails into my back, making my head spin around.

She moans harder than ever and fights for air, making this too much for me to handle. I have thrust myself inside of her sooner than usual and, although she is wet, I figure it might hurt a bit for her. I keep on thrusting into her and even though I started hard because she was killing me with her prayers, the rhythm went decreasing as my heart was getting bigger. I really believed it was going to explode and being inside of her, without any latex layer which keeps us apart, makes me feel something in my chest which is so strong that it almost hurt.

Valerie’s legs tight my waist as she moves her hips, almost riding me, helping me with this incredible sex we are having. Her head’s next to mine letting me feel her heavy hot breath on my shoulder as she moans and digs her nails on my back. This Valerie is the sexiest thing I have ever had and she is mine now.

I desperately search for her mouth and we kiss sweet and tenderly even though I thought I was going to explode from pleasure. I am too in love with Valerie to see how this is ending.

We look at each other eyes when we manage to keep our eyes opened while I thrust into her and she kisses me. I think we have never kissed that much but I am so glad we are. I want to feel every single part of her body.

-Harry, you feel incredibly awesome. – She admitting these things to me is something that doesn’t usually happen and I am just lucky she is saying it. – Could you go faster?

I obey and as she keeps caressing my back and tightening her legs around my waist, I’m getting closer and closer to my climax. Her moans are the sexiest thing I have ever heard and feeling her groaning from her throat in my mouth could be enough to make me cum.

-I’m so close, Val.

-Me too. – She says right before she kisses me passionately, caressing my whole mouth with her sweet warm tongue. – No one should feel this good. – She says between moans against my lips and that’s all it takes for me to reach the climax.

-Fuck, Val. Holy shit.

As soon as I cum inside of her, I feel her quivering in my arms and I can even feel her cuming over my dick thanks to the lack of condom as she moans as loud as she has ever moaned. I stay inside of her, holding her against the rock trying to catch my breath as she hugs me breathing heavily. I lean my head on her shoulder and after a few minutes, I pull out trying to collect myself from what has just happened. She takes my face with her hands and makes me look at her for a minute before she kisses me. Then she rests her forehead on mine.

-That was the best sex I’ve ever had. – I can’t help but to smile.

-Sex? I just made love to you, Valerie.

Valerie chuckles and her breath hits my face.

-Kiss me. – She says resting her head on the rock and I do as I am told.

Notes