Harry’s POV

It’s really really hard not to laugh when Louise starts to ask about every single garment in the store. It’s a bit embarrassing sometimes if I’m honest but it’s also funny, especially because everyone in the store can tell how annoyed the shop assistant is but Louise, who keeps on asking her about everything.

-If you don’t stop laughing, I’ll leave, you dickhead. – She says looking at me pretending to be annoyed.

-I’m sorry Lou. You know I love you. – I tell her hugging her.

-Don’t touch me.

She pretends she doesn’t like me hugging her but I know she secretly loves it and that’s why I keep on hugging her all the time. I know I’m a pain in the ass for her but she keeps calling me to hang out and stuff so I guess she likes it to some extent.

-Are you hungry, Louise?

-I am sort of hungry, Harold.

I chuckle when she calls me Harold because I used her full name. I think it is such a beautiful name but she doesn’t like it for some reason. We go out of the store carrying some bags and go to grab lunch avoiding the paparazzi and looking to the ground. They really are annoying. I mean I know they are just making money and some of them actually have kids and bills to pay but I’m a human being too and I think I deserve to walk around and chill out on the street as well. Apparently I don’t though. I’ve got used to it though unlike Valerie who hates them so much. She wouldn’t show it though since she is too nice to be angry at anyone but I know she does. Speaking of Valerie, God, I miss her.

We have been texting here and there since she sent me a picture I took of the two of us claiming she was so ugly and that she looks like a monkey’s ass. I think she looks sexy as hell on that pic. She has her head lifted and she has a frown since she didn’t know I was taking pictures of her until she caught me. “Are you going to sell them to the press?” she asked me smiling maliciously and I thought how much I would like that everyone knew I got to be with her alone in her room. I don’t anymore though. I haven’t seen her since our stupid fight.

Eventually, Louise and I made it to the restaurant and we have our meals while she tells me about Tom’s family and about how much of idiots some divas she has met lately are. She has a theory: the hotter the sillier. I disagree but she is so passionate about that theory. I know she thinks Val is an idiot too because she blames her for hurting me. She is like my older sister so she just doesn’t like people who make me feel bad and I love her for that but I don’t like that she is that unfair with Valerie. She doesn’t even know her and I’m sure if she did, she would like her.

Liam has called Louise and apparently we are both going to Sophia’s place to hang out altogether. I really feel like hanging out with the guys and Lou so it sounds good to me.

As we get to Sophia’s we see that actually all of Sophia’s closest friends are here. There are Niall, Ed, Ellie, Louis and there is John, our producer, talking to... her. I didn’t know Valerie was coming.

It feels like forever since I don’t see her even though it has been just five days and she looks beautiful today. She wears a white oversized hoodie and cotton shorts and her hair braided. She seems to be having fun with John until she sees me and stops laughing. She gives me the smallest of the smirks and an almost imperceptible nod when I smirk at her. This is awkward.

We sit down on Sophia’s couches and Valerie is sitting next to Ellie right in front of me. She hasn’t had looked at me not even once though I can’t help glancing at her every now and then. She hasn’t had talked to me of course since I got here either and she hasn’t had talked to Ed even though I know she loves his music so much. I would gladly introduce each other so that she can fan girl for a little bit while Ed gets excited as a kid in Christmas to know Valerie Veneel listens to his songs but then again she would probably reject my offer.

Either she is still mad at me even though we have been texting these past few days or this is just going to be her attitude towards me since now on. People are chatting around and Val is just there listening to everyone until she gets distracted with Liam and Niall who are playing to some sort of game in the table. As she is just this little kid she stands up and approaches them to look for what she thinks might be fun. Since the table is next to me she passes right next to me and bends over the table.

-What are you guys doing? – I haven’t heard her voice in five days and for some reason I feel a bit of emptiness inside when I hear her.

-We are playing fingerball. – Liam says naturally.

-Fingerball? – Val’s laughter is giving me a hard time now. I really miss her.

-Yeah. It’s like football but you have to play with your fingers as if they were actual legs of mini footballers. – Niall says and she laughs.

-Can I play?

-Sure. You can team with Liam. He is awful.

-Niall, I’m winning.

-Are you? – Niall asks surprised. – Then you are mine, Val.

Only hearing that makes me get jealous; she is not yours Niall, Valerie is mine.

-Alright. We are winning this thing, Niall. Don’t worry; even though I have never played I’m sure I’m awesome.

I have to smile at that even though I’m supposed to be listening to Louis who is telling a story of his actor’s career. Niall and Liam laughs and I’m sure Valerie is already frowning trying to concentrate on the game. She is such a competitive little kid. When I glance at them I see I was right and then I see how she gets angry when she doesn’t reach the ball.

-This is not fair! This position is not fair! – Valerie whines and both Liam and Niall laugh at her. – Can I sit down with you, Niall?

-Sure.

I see from the corner of my eye how Niall opens her arms for Valerie to sit on his lap and then he puts his arms around Val to lean them on the table and keep on playing. The image of Valerie sitting on other’s lap, even if that other is one of my best friends gets me sick especially since I can’t hold her in my arms like that anymore. I stand up abruptly from the couch not knowing what to do as I try to calm myself down by taking a deep breath. I go to the kitchen just so that I can’t see them anymore.

I’m drinking a glass of water when Valerie walks into the kitchen laughing out of breath and I hear Niall yelling at her that he is going to kill her. What would she have done?

-Sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I was just saving my life. – She says as soon as she turns around and sees me.

-Why would you be sorry?

-I don’t know. Maybe you don’t like to be around girls who sell themselves so easily to random dudes.

Ouch, she clearly is still mad.

-I don’t, but you are not one of them and I like to be around you.

-Must be new. – She says pretending to be surprised.

-I have never said I didn’t like to be around you and I have already told you I’m sorry for having talked to you that way.

-You are right, you have.

I let out a sigh that escapes my mouth accidentally. She looks at me sternly and I know she has taken my deep breath as if I were fed up with her. I am fed up with this, to be honest, but I’m fed up with myself for being such an asshole and not telling her since the very first night that I wanted to be with her as long as we can be together.

-Don’t worry; I won’t bother you anymore, Harry. I’ll keep on with my cheap sold lifestyle.

-Valerie, I’m sorry.

I am way more serious than I would like to be with her right now but I am jealous of Niall for no reason and I am making her paid for that because I’m an idiot.

-What else do you want me to do? You have been ignoring me for these five days and you haven’t even looked at me today, don’t you think it is enough for me to handle to see how easy is for you to forget about me? I am the first one to acknowledge I’ve been an idiot but it’s hard to see that the person you are missing doesn’t give a damn about you.

-How can you say that? Do you really think I don’t give a damn about you?

For some reason I’m dying for her to tell me she loves me. I don’t know why and I don’t even know if I want her to love me but I am really dying to hear it. I know she is not going to say that though. The words Sandra told me that day cross my mind: “Don’t expect too much from her. She is not going to give it to you.” I really hope she is wrong.

Valerie sighs and gets closer to me looking into my eyes and she hugs me leaning her head on my chest. I wasn’t expecting that so it takes me a few minutes to react but then I wrap my arms around her as I feel my chest is going to explode realizing how much I truly missed her.

-Harry – she is looking into my eyes now and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me at the moment but I even have a headache – I don’t want you to get mad at me because I’m not only with you.

-What?

-I like you – she sighs and I unsuccessfully try to read what she is thinking – but I won’t tell you that you are the only one and promise endless love to you just because I’m not going to be able to give you that. You are not going to give me that either anyway.

-Don’t put words in my mouth. – I tell her again way more severe that I would have liked. – You can know what you are not giving me but you can’t tell what I would or wouldn’t do.

Wow, that was kind of a declaration and I don’t even know where that came from. She distances herself from me a little bit and rubs her face with her hands, eyes shut and wrinkled nose.

-I think it’s better for us to just be friends. – She says without looking at me.

-I agree.

She looks into my eyes and I hold her gaze trying to read what the hell is going through her mind right now. I just wanted things to go back to where they were but I honestly think she is making all of this way too important. It was not that big of a deal and I don’t need to be all crazy about her all the time just because she likes to mess with me. I don’t need a girlfriend, not to mention a girl who gives me all the trouble of a relationship without even being my girlfriend. I don’t need this. She is right.

-We are busy people with busy lives and I value our friendship too much to ruin it for some kisses. – I declare.

Valerie swallows and I can tell she is disappointed. I don’t even know why I have told her that but it is what I think so I’m not taking it back. She nods and then leaves the kitchen leaving me standing there looking at the door and feeling the biggest idiot of all times.


-Sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I was just saving my life. – She says as soon as she turns around and sees me.

-Why would you be sorry?

-I don’t know. Maybe you don’t like to be around girls who sell themselves so easily to random dudes.

Ouch, she clearly is still mad.

-I don’t, but you are not one of them and I like to be around you.

-Must be new. – She says pretending to be surprised.

-I have never said I didn’t like to be around you and I have already told you I’m sorry for having talked to you that way.

-You are right, you have.

I let out a sigh that escapes my mouth accidentally. She looks at me sternly and I know she has taken my deep breath as if I were fed up with her. I am fed up with this, to be honest, but I’m fed up with myself for being such an asshole and not telling her since the very first night that I wanted to be with her as long as we can be together.

-Don’t worry; I won’t bother you anymore, Harry. I’ll keep on with my cheap sold lifestyle.

-Valerie, I’m sorry.

I am way more serious than I would like to be with her right now but I am jealous of Niall for no reason and I am making her paid for that because I’m an idiot.

-What else do you want me to do? You have been ignoring me for these five days and you haven’t even looked at me today, don’t you think it is enough for me to handle to see how easy is for you to forget about me? I am the first one to acknowledge I’ve been an idiot but it’s hard to see that the person you are missing doesn’t give a damn about you.

-How can you say that? Do you really think I don’t give a damn about you?

For some reason I’m dying for her to tell me she loves me. I don’t know why and I don’t even know if I want her to love me but I am really dying to hear it. I know she is not going to say that though. The words Sandra told me that day cross my mind: “Don’t expect too much from her. She is not going to give it to you.” I really hope she is wrong.

Valerie sighs and gets closer to me looking into my eyes and she hugs me leaning her head on my chest. I wasn’t expecting that so it takes me a few minutes to react but then I wrap my arms around her as I feel my chest is going to explode realizing how much I truly missed her.

-Harry – she is looking into my eyes now and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me at the moment but I even have a headache – I don’t want you to get mad at me because I’m not only with you.

-What?

-I like you – she sighs and I unsuccessfully try to read what she is thinking – but I won’t tell you that you are the only one and promise endless love to you just because I’m not going to be able to give you that. You are not going to give me that either anyway.

-Don’t put words in my mouth. – I tell her again way more severe that I would have liked. – You can know what you are not giving me but you can’t tell what I would or wouldn’t do.

Wow, that was kind of a declaration and I don’t even know where that came from. She distances herself from me a little bit and rubs her face with her hands, eyes shut and wrinkled nose.

-I think it’s better for us to just be friends. – She says without looking at me.

-I agree.

She looks into my eyes and I hold her gaze trying to read what the hell is going through her mind right now. I just wanted things to go back to where they were but I honestly think she is making all of this way too important. It was not that big of a deal and I don’t need to be all crazy about her all the time just because she likes to mess with me. I don’t need a girlfriend, not to mention a girl who gives me all the trouble of a relationship without even being my girlfriend. I don’t need this. She is right.

-We are busy people with busy lives and I value our friendship too much to ruin it for some kisses. – I declare.

Valerie swallows and I can tell she is disappointed. I don’t even know why I have told her that but it is what I think so I’m not taking it back. She nods and then leaves the kitchen leaving me standing there looking at the door and feeling the biggest idiot of all times.

Notes