What about Pakistani butterflies?
Chapter 22
Valerie’s POV
Harry and I had texted here and there after I sent him a picture of the two of us that he took with my cell phone just to complain about my monkey’s ass face. It was so true that I look like an ass even if he said I didn’t.
We had texted and he apologized until I begged him to quit telling me he was sorry. I didn’t tell him I had forgiven him though I had; I was just torturing him a little bit for what he said to me, I guess. Really, I wanted to fix everything with him when I went to Sophia’s, knowing that he would be there. I was dying to see him and I was feeling so nervous. I even did my makeup that day. I was literally feeling like a girl in her first day of fresh year at high school and then I panicked. Why would he be that hypnotizing?
I was a fool for him. I realized that when I felt like I was walking barefoot over glass when he told me that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship for “some kisses”. I really felt like an idiot. He wasn’t “some kisses” for me and for some fucking reason I thought I was more for him too. I guess I was just wrong.
I know I had been a bitch to him, as Sandra let me know when she came back home, so it is just fair I guess. I can’t help but to blame myself because, at the end of the day, it was me who told him I thought that it was better for us to be just friends but he was making everything so difficult being so stern and distant.
I don’t think at all that it is better for us to be just friends though and these days of just friends with him have been killing me. I am a fool for him. I kept on repeating that to myself after our second just friends’ day. He would smile at me showing me his dimples and my heart would skip a beat every time he accidentally touched me. It’s really heartbreaking to see how great he is doing at being just my friend when it’s so hard for me. I pushed him away anyway so it’s not like I can’t complain.
I’m just tired of pretending I don’t care about him. Fuck, I miss him and I want him to hug me so desperately that I can’t even think about anything else. I had avoided hanging out with the guys these past two days. I need to talk to Louis though but I don’t want to bother him with this because I know he wasn’t fond of our plans since the beginning. I want him to comfort me though so I’ll give it a shot.
-Hey, Louis, what’s up?
He picks up his phone so creepily quick every time.
-Hey, Valerie, how are you doing?
-Mmm....I’m good but I want you to talk to me.
-About what? - He asks confused. – You mean you want to talk to me, don’t you? – He says laughing slightly.
-I want both to talk to you and you to talk to me.
-Shoot, then.
-I miss him.
-Who are you talking about?
-Seriously?
-Seriously.
-Who would I be talking about? I’m talking about Harry. I miss Harry.
-Can you say that again?
-What the hell is wrong with you? – I ask smiling.
-I haven’t heard you. Can you say it again?
His voice sounds weird. Does he have the phone on speaker mode?
-I have said I miss Harry. Don’t make me say it one more time or I’ll kill you.
-Why would you miss him? You saw him two days ago.
-I know. I miss what I had with him before everything messed up. I don’t want to talk about this on the phone, to be honest, Louis.
-Alright. I hope you are not busy today and if you are, you are cancelling your plans. I want you to come to the studio and see us record and you can try to record yourself; it would be fun. Then we can talk about whatever you want. Please don’t say no. I’m picking you up in twenty minutes. – He says confident and I laugh.
-Cool. – I can hear him grinning through the phone.
-Thank you. See you in 20.
Twenty minutes later Louis rings my bell. I have decided I’m wearing my Silence + Noise Addison mock-neck cropped black top and a denim high waist skirt with black sandals. Louis knocks the door and when I open it he hugs me like he hasn’t seen me in ages.
-You’re going to kill Harry. – He says glancing at my outfit.
-Yeah, right. He doesn’t give a damn about me anymore. – I tell him while I put my hair into a high messy bun.
He looks at me shaking his head.
-You are so clueless.
He opens the car door for me while shaking his head and I get into the car to find Harry sitting there listening to music and looking through the window. So he won’t even look at me. Sweet. I touch his arm for him to look at me and when he turns to face me I realize he was asleep.
-Sorry. I didn’t know you were asleep. – I tell him apologetically.
-Come here.
He says sleepily smiling at me making my heart skips a beat. I hug him as he opens his arms for me to lean my head on his chest. He caresses my back and doesn’t let me go so we make all the way to the studio hugging each other. Not that I’m complaining but I am not sure if this is a good idea for me.
When we arrive, he gets out of the car before and waits for me to walk next to me. I smile at him. I have given up already. If I fall for Harry, I’ll figure it out later.
-Don’t look at me that way. – I tell him.
-Which way? – He says amused.
-That way. Don’t flirt with me with your eyes if you want to be my friend. You have the salesman’s look.
-Jesus. – He says laughing. – I am pretty sure you were the one who came up with this friends’ idea, not me.
I look at him while he walks clueless into the studio. Lately I just can’t get my eyes off of him. Once we are in the studio Harry introduces me to everyone and the guys get into the booth. Niall hugs me till I’m out of breath and Liam is more delicate with me; they are both sweet though. So I’m finally going to see them singing for real.
They are messing with each other into the booth until they put their headphones on. Liam, who seems to be the most serious one of the four, speaks through the mic.
-Guys, we want to try Harry’s new song.
-How is it called? –John asks them.
-Valerie, I think. – Louis shouts smiling and Harry hits him.
-Diana. – Harry says embarrassed. – But we don’t have to record that one today. I mean today. We could do it tomorrow or any other day for that matter.
-No, today is a good day. – Liam says.
Harry smirks and nods. What the hell was that, Louis? Did Harry write a song about me? Why does Louis have to be so annoying anyway?
The music begins and their music producer looks at me to join him at the table.
-I bet it’s not the first time someone writes a song for you.
-What are you talking about? – I ask him clueless but optimistic.
-Didn’t he tell you? What a coward. – John laughs and looks to the booth through the glass.
They record the whole song and I think they are incredible. John presses a button which is in front of us and speaks to the guys.
- That was good.
- Good? – I say involuntarily. – That was awesome. I think I’ve fallen in love with all of you guys.
They all laugh in the booth and spend two hours recording; this time in turns. When Louis gets out of the booth I go with him so that he can have a coke.
-Valerie, I think? – I ask him when we are both alone.
-I mean, isn’t it obvious it’s about you? “I speak a different language but I still hear your call” Geez, it’s clearly you.
I can’t help but to smile. I mean I like to think it’s about me and actually when the song says “You don’t even know me” reminds me so much of Harry and I at the pier or the first time we kissed at my party. I think I told him that.
-And you like it; you are smiling like a fool. – He says giving me a bottle of Coke. – What did you want to talk about then?
-I’m not – I say smiling like a fool – and I wanted to talk about me and you and Harry and about what the hell is wrong with me.
-You guys are idiots.
-Sorry?
-You really are. Especially Harry but you are just another one. I won’t say anything because he is my friend but I truly think you guys need to talk. You are just wasting your time.
-Well, I don’t think we are Louis. – I tell him a bit annoyed.
-I mean your time of being together. For some reason you have been acting bitchy with him. You guys only have a month left. Don’t waste it. You like each other and everyone knows that except from you, apparently.
-We are friends, Louis.
-You are not. At least not for him. I can’t read you just yet because I’ve only known you for three months but have you seen how he looks at you? And when you call him? Well you obviously haven’t seen that but I have. He is like that. – He smiles like a monkey with eyes almost closed and huge grin holding his cell phone against his ear.
I laugh at him but for some reason my whole body softens.
-Jesus, you are smiling like that too! You two are definitely idiots! Don’t waste your time, Valerie! Give it a shot!
-Louis, I don’t do relationships and he doesn’t want that either. He agreed with me when I told him we would be better off being just friends.
-I know you don’t do relationships, Val, although I don’t know why you wouldn’t but I think you could take advantage of your time with him before you guys split apart. You know when I met Eleanor I tried to stay away from her because I didn’t want her to get in a relationship with me as I know how difficult it can get. Eventually I decided I didn’t want to fight against it anymore. I just hope it isn’t too late for you when you realise you truly like him. – I nod in appreciation of him telling me this. – Look, I know press make Harry out to be a womanizer and a heart breaker and all that shit, but he is not.
-Well you know how press make me out, don’t you? – I ask him raising my eyebrows.
Press make me out like this crazy kid who doesn’t know what she is doing or what she wants hooking up with one guy and another on the weekends. They might be right about me though.
-I do. – He says taking a sip from his Coke.
-The thing is I don’t think he wants to have anything to do with me anymore. You know he agreed with me on being just friends the other day at Sophia’s and he has been doing the friend roll too good. He has no problem with it.
-As I said, you need to talk to him. – He nods at me. – You really do. You seem to have no idea about how hard being just your friend is being for him but I do and I’ll tell you he is going mad. Like, really. – He says looking to the corner of the room making me laugh. – And just for the record, Valerie, I really don’t think there is any man out there that wouldn’t want to have something, anything, to do with you unless they are either gay or crazy. Actually, only gay, crazy men would go even crazier for you.
How sweet is that? I hug Louis as tight as I can while he laughs and then Niall sticks his blond head from the corner of the living room where Louis and I are having our coke and he tells Louis that it’s his turn in a few minutes. We both go to the recording studio and see that Harry stills in the booth recording. Darling, he is handsome. He is singing Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus which I think it’s such a wonderful song. Then he signs bits of some other songs which I have never heard hence I assume they are original. I still thinking about what Louis have just said and about what Sandra has been saying to me in our relax sessions of massages and beauty and I think they might be right. I mean I can’t be my whole life thinking about how things would have worked out with Douglas, can I? Maybe Harry is all I need to forget Douglas and everything about him. So I might just let things be.
When he finishes, their producers congrats him and he gets out of the booth smiling sheepishly proud of himself. I am grinning at him when he looks at me and he squints his eyes confused at my abrupt bliss. I am definitely letting things be.
-You’re going to kill Harry. – He says glancing at my outfit.
-Yeah, right. He doesn’t give a damn about me anymore. – I tell him while I put my hair into a high messy bun.
He looks at me shaking his head.
-You are so clueless.
He opens the car door for me while shaking his head and I get into the car to find Harry sitting there listening to music and looking through the window. So he won’t even look at me. Sweet. I touch his arm for him to look at me and when he turns to face me I realize he was asleep.
-Sorry. I didn’t know you were asleep. – I tell him apologetically.
-Come here.
He says sleepily smiling at me making my heart skips a beat. I hug him as he opens his arms for me to lean my head on his chest. He caresses my back and doesn’t let me go so we make all the way to the studio hugging each other. Not that I’m complaining but I am not sure if this is a good idea for me.
When we arrive, he gets out of the car before and waits for me to walk next to me. I smile at him. I have given up already. If I fall for Harry, I’ll figure it out later.
-Don’t look at me that way. – I tell him.
-Which way? – He says amused.
-That way. Don’t flirt with me with your eyes if you want to be my friend. You have the salesman’s look.
-Jesus. – He says laughing. – I am pretty sure you were the one who came up with this friends’ idea, not me.
I look at him while he walks clueless into the studio. Lately I just can’t get my eyes off of him. Once we are in the studio Harry introduces me to everyone and the guys get into the booth. Niall hugs me till I’m out of breath and Liam is more delicate with me; they are both sweet though. So I’m finally going to see them singing for real.
They are messing with each other into the booth until they put their headphones on. Liam, who seems to be the most serious one of the four, speaks through the mic.
-Guys, we want to try Harry’s new song.
-How is it called? –John asks them.
-Valerie, I think. – Louis shouts smiling and Harry hits him.
-Diana. – Harry says embarrassed. – But we don’t have to record that one today. I mean today. We could do it tomorrow or any other day for that matter.
-No, today is a good day. – Liam says.
Harry smirks and nods. What the hell was that, Louis? Did Harry write a song about me? Why does Louis have to be so annoying anyway?
The music begins and their music producer looks at me to join him at the table.
-I bet it’s not the first time someone writes a song for you.
-What are you talking about? – I ask him clueless but optimistic.
-Didn’t he tell you? What a coward. – John laughs and looks to the booth through the glass.
They record the whole song and I think they are incredible. John presses a button which is in front of us and speaks to the guys.
- That was good.
- Good? – I say involuntarily. – That was awesome. I think I’ve fallen in love with all of you guys.
They all laugh in the booth and spend two hours recording; this time in turns. When Louis gets out of the booth I go with him so that he can have a coke.
-Valerie, I think? – I ask him when we are both alone.
-I mean, isn’t it obvious it’s about you? “I speak a different language but I still hear your call” Geez, it’s clearly you.
I can’t help but to smile. I mean I like to think it’s about me and actually when the song says “You don’t even know me” reminds me so much of Harry and I at the pier or the first time we kissed at my party. I think I told him that.
-And you like it; you are smiling like a fool. – He says giving me a bottle of Coke. – What did you want to talk about then?
-I’m not – I say smiling like a fool – and I wanted to talk about me and you and Harry and about what the hell is wrong with me.
-You guys are idiots.
-Sorry?
-You really are. Especially Harry but you are just another one. I won’t say anything because he is my friend but I truly think you guys need to talk. You are just wasting your time.
-Well, I don’t think we are Louis. – I tell him a bit annoyed.
-I mean your time of being together. For some reason you have been acting bitchy with him. You guys only have a month left. Don’t waste it. You like each other and everyone knows that except from you, apparently.
-We are friends, Louis.
-You are not. At least not for him. I can’t read you just yet because I’ve only known you for three months but have you seen how he looks at you? And when you call him? Well you obviously haven’t seen that but I have. He is like that. – He smiles like a monkey with eyes almost closed and huge grin holding his cell phone against his ear.
I laugh at him but for some reason my whole body softens.
-Jesus, you are smiling like that too! You two are definitely idiots! Don’t waste your time, Valerie! Give it a shot!
-Louis, I don’t do relationships and he doesn’t want that either. He agreed with me when I told him we would be better off being just friends.
-I know you don’t do relationships, Val, although I don’t know why you wouldn’t but I think you could take advantage of your time with him before you guys split apart. You know when I met Eleanor I tried to stay away from her because I didn’t want her to get in a relationship with me as I know how difficult it can get. Eventually I decided I didn’t want to fight against it anymore. I just hope it isn’t too late for you when you realise you truly like him. – I nod in appreciation of him telling me this. – Look, I know press make Harry out to be a womanizer and a heart breaker and all that shit, but he is not.
-Well you know how press make me out, don’t you? – I ask him raising my eyebrows.
Press make me out like this crazy kid who doesn’t know what she is doing or what she wants hooking up with one guy and another on the weekends. They might be right about me though.
-I do. – He says taking a sip from his Coke.
-The thing is I don’t think he wants to have anything to do with me anymore. You know he agreed with me on being just friends the other day at Sophia’s and he has been doing the friend roll too good. He has no problem with it.
-As I said, you need to talk to him. – He nods at me. – You really do. You seem to have no idea about how hard being just your friend is being for him but I do and I’ll tell you he is going mad. Like, really. – He says looking to the corner of the room making me laugh. – And just for the record, Valerie, I really don’t think there is any man out there that wouldn’t want to have something, anything, to do with you unless they are either gay or crazy. Actually, only gay, crazy men would go even crazier for you.
How sweet is that? I hug Louis as tight as I can while he laughs and then Niall sticks his blond head from the corner of the living room where Louis and I are having our coke and he tells Louis that it’s his turn in a few minutes. We both go to the recording studio and see that Harry stills in the booth recording. Darling, he is handsome. He is singing Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus which I think it’s such a wonderful song. Then he signs bits of some other songs which I have never heard hence I assume they are original. I still thinking about what Louis have just said and about what Sandra has been saying to me in our relax sessions of massages and beauty and I think they might be right. I mean I can’t be my whole life thinking about how things would have worked out with Douglas, can I? Maybe Harry is all I need to forget Douglas and everything about him. So I might just let things be.
When he finishes, their producers congrats him and he gets out of the booth smiling sheepishly proud of himself. I am grinning at him when he looks at me and he squints his eyes confused at my abrupt bliss. I am definitely letting things be.
Harry’s POV
As I walk out of the recording studio I see Valerie leaning against the window and grinning at me. She has pretty much ignored me all this time and now she seems so happy to see me. Man, is she bipolar. I go to chat with Liam a bit just to torture Valerie a little bit. She can’t have this effect on me and I want to show her that I can ignore her too.
Since she told me she thought it was better for us to be just friends I have been dying to tell her she is wrong. It might be better for her but it is definitely not better for me. I’m going insane. I have been trying to be her friend so hard. At first, I really thought it was for the best and I even wanted our friendship to work out but as days pass I realized I didn’t want to be her friend. Of course I don’t. I thought, because I am such a dick, that I didn’t need a girlfriend and I don’t need a girlfriend but I want her. Not necessarily as a girlfriend if she doesn’t want to but I want to have her in my life and I want to kiss her and to hug her and to hold her and to have sex with her, I’ll say it. I haven’t been able of getting her out of my mind and every day is harder to be next to her without touching her or kissing her. I miss kissing her that much that I could spend a whole day with her just kissing her all the time. Just she and I. Kissing. All day long.
Why does she have to be so beautiful anyway? Why does she have that flawless skin and why on Earth would she come to the studio with a skirt which lets me see her legs or that fucking little top or whatever it is called? I am going mad just by looking at her. Whenever I remember that I have actually touched her until she moaned my name I just rise my own temperature. I wanted to talk to her and tell her that I do not want to be her friend and, when Louis put his phone on speaker mode for me to listen to Valerie saying that she misses me, I finally made up my mind. I am talking to her today and I’ll tell her that I want us to have fun together as we used to. I want to have sex with her so badly it blows my mind every now and then. I’m sick, I suppose.
She doesn’t come to me while I speak to Liam although I’m craving for her to come. I hate that she doesn’t crave my company and my closeness as I crave hers, but I guess she stills considering me her friend with benefits as she called us when she was talking to Niall about “our thing”. Having her as a friend with benefits is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes I just want to hug her or cuddle with her and that’s not what friends with benefits do. We haven’t had sex yet though. Not because I didn’t want to though and although things have got a bit heated between us a few times, I respect her and I want her to know that. Here comes the thing.
I respect her and I want to cuddle with her and I want to know everything about her and I would like to show my hometown to her and just do stuff with her. Take her everywhere I could possibly take her, surprise her, dance with her a cheesy song, take care of her and pamper her quite simply. That’s not what friends with benefits do and I know she wouldn’t allow me to do that. I remember our day at the pier when she told me that she was afraid she won’t ever find the right person to fall in love with and I remember that hurt me. I found out later on why. She didn’t even see me that way, she didn’t even think she could fall in love with me and that hurt me because I might want her to. If there is something I know is that I don’t want her to fall in love with anyone else.
Eventually someone wraps her arms around me from my back and I get to smell Valerie’s shampoo. She hums when she embraces me and I see her with eyes closed reflected in the glass of the recording studio. See? This is what I’m talking about; we look so good together.
-I’m sorry. – She says against my back.
-What? – I ask genuinely confused taking her hands from my belly and turning to face her.
-I’m sorry. – She says embarrassed looking at me.
-For what?
-You know for what.
-I thought you didn’t owe me any explanations because we were just friends.
-It sounds so stupid. – She says smiling apologetically at me. – Can we talk somewhere else?
She says looking around making me notice that there were actually other people in the room.
-Sure but, just for the record, I’m sorry too.
She laughs at that. I think it’s the 500th time I tell her I’m sorry but I really am. I’ve missed her as crazy. I haven’t kissed her in a week and it’s almost unbearable. She grabs my hand and takes me to another room in the studio four rooms away from where the lads are. She closes the door after her; for sure no one is listening now.
-I miss you. – She says looking into my eyes and I can’t help but to smile after I feel a pinch in my stomach. – Look, Hazz, – I love that she uses my pet name again – I know you don’t do relationships and...
-Well, Valerie, I wanted to talk to you about that... – I interrupt her.
-Let me finish, please? – Like I could say no with that face of hers looking at me. – I know you don’t do relationships and I actually get it. I mean, in pretty much a month we are both going our ways and...God knows when we will see each other again but I can’t help but to feel stupid for letting time pass and not being with you while I can so...I’ve been thinking and...as crazy as it sounds, I would like to live a story with you in this month without worrying about how it is going to end. I don’t know what you do to me but I don’t want to waste more time and I like how you make me feel so I thought we could create a story as a Pakistani butterfly which lives only for a month.
I know I’m smiling like a fool for the way she is smiling at me. She has let her hair down from her bun and she is beautiful as hell. Plus, I can see her tanned belly thanks to that wonderful cropped top.
-You mean you and I getting in a relationship that is going to last a month? – I ask her and she nods smiling timidly.
I mean I actually wanted to tell her that I want us to know each other better and let’s see what happens but to be honest I like this idea too.
-So... like a Pakistani butterfly – I say giving her what she has said to me. That was cheesy for Val but I liked it; she was so cute - would you be my girlfriend for a month? – I ask her smiling at how the question sounds and she laughs.
-If you want me to be....
I can’t believe she has said yes. Valerie has accepted the word girlfriend; my girlfriend; even if it’s just for a month. I smile at her.
-I would like to be your boyfriend for a month too, to be honest.
Her smile grows huge and she jumps to me to kiss me. When she presses her lips on mine I can’t help but to smile. I’ve been craving for this for a week.
I kiss her back caressing her face with my hands to deepen our kiss and have full access to her mouth. Then I move my hands to her arms until I leave them at the low of her back and kiss her long. She smiles in my mouth and it feels so good. She then bites my bottom lip and takes my whole mouth with hers and I feel I could never kiss her enough. Gosh, she tastes so good.
We keep on kissing each other for a few minutes and then we hear that the lads are calling my name. She pulls away giggling and take my hand pulling me outside the room but I pull her back to me and she collides with my chest.
-Ignore them.
I beg her pressing my lips to hers. I lean my back on the wall and pull her on top of me and she places her hands on my shoulders. She laughs but then she kisses me back and I think I’m not letting her go in a couple of hours until my mouth is completely dried.
-I need to remind you – she has to fight with me to speak since I won’t quit kissing her – you are....at work.
-I need to remind you – I don’t even let myself speak since I need to kiss her lips – you have got me denied for a week. You owe me hours of kissing.
She laughs and then pleases me kissing me long and sweetly. She kisses me slowly and lovingly and I absolutely love her tenderness and sweetness. This sort of kiss is a new Valerie’s taste. I suppose is a girlfriend’s kiss this time. I hear Niall calling my name again and Valerie closes her mouth without kissing me back. I pull out giving up and look at her with a frown and she kisses my nose.
-You need to go to work. I’ll make it up for you later. – She hugs me humming and I hug her tight. – I am your girlfriend now, remember?
I smile widely at that and we eventually go to where the lads are. We have to listen to one of the songs that we have recorded and then Liam and Niall have to record a few bits more and we will be free. I want to take Valerie to my place and tie her to my bed and kiss her until she begs me to stop but I also sort of want to take things slowly. How much I like her I don’t even know.
We listen to the song together and Valerie is next to me, her hand in the low of my back. When the song ends she congrats all of us and I take her face with my hands and kiss her on the lips. To be honest, I just want everyone in the room to know she is mine. Niall whistles and Valerie hits him while I smile. I only have a month but I’m going to take full advantage of it.
As soon as Niall gets into the booth I sit down on a chair a bit far away from everybody and call Valerie to come with me. I sit her on my lap and I can’t help but to smile like an idiot as I play along with her so that she pampers me.
-So I have a question – she says caressing my cheeks with her hands.
-And that question is...
-Who is Diana?
I laugh and she kisses the tip of my nose and plays with the curls in my neck.
-Seriously, who is she?
She says punching my chest and giving me a frown and a pout. She seems a bit jealous and I love it to be honest but I now she is messing with me. Of course she knows it’s her. I’ll play along though.
-You don’t know her. – I tell her trying not to smile.
She swallows and nods. Is she really buying it? Then she turns around and gives me her back, leaning down onto my chest and looking to the booth.
-Hey, have you really believed that? – I ask her bending to look at her face.
She looks at me sternly trying to figure me out. I can’t believe she is so oblivious.
-Valerie? – I am trying to make her speak so that I can know what she is doing.
-Yes, Harry?
She is jealous! She bought it! Jesus, she is such a silly girl. I laugh hard throwing by head back amazed at her jealousy. I don’t know why I like to see that I can get her jealous. Maybe because that’s how I know she does care about me.
-Val – I keep on laughing so I can’t even talk to her.
Valerie stands up from my lap pretending to be annoyed but she is smiling and I grab her by her hips pulling her towards me. She goes away though because I’m laughing and I’m not strong enough to throw her on top of me.
-Val, don’t go! – I say amused.
-Why don’t you go with Diana? I’m sure she would enjoy your company.
Her jealous version makes me laugh.
-Come on! I don’t want to be with Diana, I rather be with you.
She looks at me thoughtfully and brings her fingers to her lips, tracing her bottom lip while she looks at me.
-Tell Diana that your friend Valerie, who is hot as hell, says hi.
-My friend Valerie? You mean my girlfriend, don’t you?
I like how it sounds especially because it is not fully true so it has the best of everything. I don’t know if the lads have heard it but to be honest I don’t give a damn.
-Well...I don’t know.... – She doubts biting the inner right wall of her mouth.
I get closer to her and she gives me her back turning around quickly trying to hide a smile. I hug her from her back and talks to her in the crock of her neck.
-You know the song is about you. Don’t get away from me today.
That might have sounded a bit too desperate but I really don’t want her to get away from me today nor any other day. I’m craving for her.
-Don’t get away from me ever. – She says hugging my arms which are hugging her belly.
That makes me smile so widely that I know she notices it. She turns around to face me and places her arms around my neck.
-It was beautiful. Thank you.
How on this planet can someone be that beautiful? She then kisses my lips and we make out for a few minutes until Louis coughs near us. Valerie pulls out and hides her face in my chest embarrassed and I tell Louis to fuck off. When she hears that it was Louis she sticks her head out and goes towards him to mess with him. She gets on a piggyback and he holds her surprised cursing and then they both laugh while I look at her as an idiot. Geez, I like her.
Then her gaze meets mine and I smirk at her. Valerie leaves Louis alone pushing him before coming almost running towards me. She grabs my hand and leads me to the room where we talked and made out half an hour ago. She closes the door after her and collides with me pushing me against a desk where I kind of sit crushing her lips with mine. She smiles in our kiss and I kiss her back tenderly caressing her arms and placing them around my neck. We make out slowly and sweetly, enjoying each other’s mouths and she sucks lovingly my lips. I like the sound or mouths made when we kiss.
She then sighs in our kiss and I start to get heated up when she removes the space between us by pressing her body against mine. Then I kiss her more passionately and she smiles at my eagerness. She places herself on top of me so that our groins touch and I push her caringly against the wall and kiss her while she smiles. I then kiss her neck while she tangles her fingers in my hair. I suck on a particular spot on her neck trying to give her a love bite. I bring my hand to caress the back of her thigh and then I am brave enough to grab her butt. Touching her body this way is giving me a boner and then I remember her being paranoid about me not wanting to have sex with her.
-I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want to have sex with you. Are you crazy? I can’t wait. – I whisper in her ear so that she knows I’m craving to have her.
-Why wouldn’t you then? – She says and I smile in her neck.
-I’d have sex with you right now. How could you think I didn’t want to?
I’m really turned on now that I’m free to tell her everything that’s on my mind. I am picturing how it would be to take her here against this wall. That thought turns me on so badly that I find myself kissing her as hard as I have ever kissed anyone and I feel like biting her lips. I then touch her butt under the fabric of her skirt, feeling the thin cotton from her undies and the fact that she lets me do whatever I want with her body drives me mad. I really want to get inside of her and I caress her crotch with my hand just to see how far she lets me go. She moans against my lips and sucks my bottom lip blowing my mind.
-Don’t be mean, Harry. – She whispers against my lips.
It’s not that I’m trying to tease her; I just can’t get enough of her and my mind is so creative right now. The only thought of how she would taste drives me insane and I wonder if she would ever let me eat her. I am fighting to breathe but I like her so much and want her so badly that I don’t even care. I suck her neck determined to leave her a love bite so that everyone knows she is taken. She is breathing heavily as I caress both her belly and back and fight with her skin to leave my love mark. Her moans are driving me mad. She then takes my hand and pulls me to the other wall, where there is a corner that is in the dark. She places her back on the wall and kisses me passionately pulling me practically on top of her. I feel her tongue so inside of my mouth that she is blowing my mind with what she is doing with it. She then caresses my crotch through my jeans. Holy shit, she is going to kill me.
-I want to touch you. – She says against my lips and that drives me mad. – Can I? – She asks sexily before biting my bottom lip.
I take her hand and place it on my crotch as she kisses me feverishly. She then unfastens my belt and unzipped my trousers, introducing her hand into them and caressing my crotch through the fabric of my underpants.
-You drive me crazy, Val. – I tell her and regret it the same minute. I don’t know how she is going to take it but I feel her smile against my lips. So she liked it.
She then introduces her hand in my underpants and caresses my dick. I think I’m going to explode if she doesn’t take it. I groan in her mouth begging for her to start the hand job and when she finally does I can’t kiss her anymore. I just have my mouth open to try to get some air in my lungs. She kisses my neck and my jaw line and sucks on my neck giving me a love bite while she does her magic with her hand. I rest both my hands against the wall besides her head and she searches for my mouth to kiss me.
-Why won’t you kiss me back as before? Don’t you like what I’m doing to you?
Her words are driving me mad and I take her face with my hands to kiss her. I bite her bottom lip as she did with mine and she sucks mine. I am kissing her hard when I feel I’m coming.
-I’m coming. – I tell her out of breath.
-Let go. – She says looking into my eyes and then she kisses me sweetly.
She is putting me on edge and I release and moan out of breath. She keeps on kissing me while I try to catch my breath and I realize I’m almost sweating. She then pulls away but rests her forehead on mine leaving our mouths inches apart. I am still recomposing myself for that.
-Jesus Christ, Valerie.
She laughs and then traces her way with kisses from my lips to my ear.
-You better zip your trousers, Mr Styles. We have to get back with everyone or they would start to suspect.
-And what about you?
-What do you mean?
-You give me that hand job and don’t want me to please you? – I ask looking at her.
-You can please me later, can’t you?
I think I’m having a heart attack only for seeing her with that smile. She then places her lips on mine and traces my bottom lip with her tongue and after that she gets herself away from my grip which was putting her against the wall and walks away leaving me out of breath. Valerie is the sexiest thing I’ll ever see.
Valerie’s POV
I walk into the room where the lads are and find Niall playing with a ball. I take the ball away from him when he doesn’t notice and raise my eyebrows when he looks at me with a frown. He then laughs and asks me for the ball. I stop to think for a few seconds considering giving him the ball and he comes towards me shaking his head. I give him the ball before he can even start the game. He smiles and I nod at him.
A few minutes later Harry gets into the room and he looks at me. I greet him waving innocently giving him a smile. He laughs and I grin at him. He then goes to talk to Liam and I go chat with his producer Julian. He is funny. We talk about writing songs and about his job. I am actually a bit of a writer myself and for some reason I tell Julian about that. Not even Louis knows.
-I sing horribly but I do like writing songs and I can play the guitar.
-Are you good at it?
-I mean I’ve been playing for a lot of years now. When I was little, since age six my mum used to take me to piano lessons and then when I turned 14 a friend of mine, who is actually a musician, gave me a guitar as a birthday present and he himself taught me how to play. I don’t play piano since I was fifteen or so but I still play the guitar as much as I can.
-Do I know that friend of yours?
-Probably. He is Douglas Booth.
-Geez, I would definitely like to hear you. He is good.
I laugh embarrassed. I am not a performer so having a music producer listening to my guitar skills is a bit intimidating. Julian then stands up and walks towards the studio which is in front of the recording studio of the guys. I can see him through the glass and he gestures with his head to tell me to come in.
-Here you have. You can choose the guitar that you want.
-I’m not playing. – I say smiling.
-There are a lot of guitars. – He says smiling and raising his eyebrows.
I look around and I see that there are Ibanez, Fender, Martin and Taylor. I actually see a Martin which is pretty similar to my own guitar, which was a Douglas’ gift for my 19th birthday last year. Then I see a 1964 Gibson J-50 and I walk towards it. I touch the strings and turns towards Julian who is looking at me smiling.
- This guitar is.... – I say feathering the strings under my fingerprints.
- I know. You can play it if you want to.
I smile at him and decide I will. I mean it might be embarrassing but how could I let this opportunity pass by? Plus, I’ve played the guitar for almost six years now so I’m good. I take the guitar and sit down on a stool in front of Julian who is smiling widely at me. I decide I’ll play my fingerstyle version of Gravity by John Mayer. It might not be my most impressive fingerstyle but I’m sure I won’t do this one badly since I’ve played it like a thousand times so I could play it with my eyes closed. While I play I don’t move my eyes from the neck of the guitar though because I don’t want to get nervous if I see Julian is right there in front of me.
While I play the song I smile at the memories that come to my mind. I remember I learnt this song during the summer when I was 18 when Douglas, Sandra, her boyfriend Dave and I rented a house in Brighton. It was the best summer ever.
When I finish, Julian claps his hands for me.
-That was brilliant. – He says laughing surprised and I smile timidly at him.
I see Harry and Liam, Liam with raised eyebrows smiling. I bet he didn’t expect that.
-You never mentioned you could do that. – Harry says getting closer to me.
-I’m pretty sure I did. – I tell remembering the first night he came to my room.
-You didn’t mention you were that good.
I smile at him and pout my lips lifting my head for him to kiss me. He smiles and bends down to kiss me tenderly.
-I’ll leave you guys alone on this romantic moment. – Julian says and I smile blushing. I didn’t remember he was still there to be honest. – Again, that was impressive, Val. – Julian says to me but I can’t even look at him.
-Thank you, Julian.
When he leaves Harry turns to face me and grabs my chin to lift my face so that I’m looking into his eyes.
-Can I take you for dinner after we are free from this jail?
I kiss his lips again before even answering him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today but I’m so cheesy I just want to cuddle with him. It is a sweet short kiss, a bit longer than a peck though.
-Please.
-I have to think of a way of avoiding fucking paps because I don’t think I’m going to be able to be more than an hour without kissing you.
-I mean we already have a couple’s name so... – I tell him.
He looks at me smiling. I don’t know if he knows it but we are Halery. It’s stupid those mix names that the press does but I have to recognize they are funny.
After an hour we are done and Louis drives me home so I can get ready before Harry takes me out tonight. We are cuddling on the back seat of Louis’ car but we haven’t told him yet that we are a couple for a month. When Louis stops the car I realize I’m in the entrance of my neighbourhood so I thank Louis and kiss Harry goodbye for a good minute although I try not to make out because Louis is stuck with us in the car. I then mess Louis’ hair and get out of the car and I heard another door. When I turn around I see there is no one there and then Harry’s head sticks from behind the car and Louis goes without him.
-What are you doing? – I ask him laughing.
-I’m walking you home and then I’m walking back to my place.
-Why?
-Because I didn’t want to make Louis waits.
-You know from here to my place it’s like five minutes.
-Yes, but the goodbye make out session might take a bit more.
I laugh at him and he walks towards me. I wait for him and then we walk side by side. We talk about their next tour and how excited they all are because they think the show is so good. When we get to my door he takes my hand before I can turn to face him and he pulls me closer to him.
-You are beautiful. – He says while he hugs me.
For some reason I want all the paparazzi in LA to be here now and take hundreds of pictures so that everyone knows Harry Styles is hugging me at my front door. I hug him tight with my arms around his waist while his arms wrap my back. I hum in our hug and he hides his face in the crock of my neck. Then I pull out and look into his eyes before kissing him. We kiss long but slowly and tenderly.
-You have to let me get home so that I can get ready for tonight. – I say against his lips as he wouldn’t stop kissing me and I laugh. – I want to look beautiful for you tonight.
-I have already told you; you are beautiful.
He says looking into my eyes and then he kisses me again. I laugh at his mouth.
-I’m sorry. – He says chuckling.
He then puts his hands up proving innocence and I walk into my house. As I close the door I feel this urge of open it again and keep on kissing him but I head to the shower. I’ll have him tonight.
Harry and I had texted here and there after I sent him a picture of the two of us that he took with my cell phone just to complain about my monkey’s ass face. It was so true that I look like an ass even if he said I didn’t.
We had texted and he apologized until I begged him to quit telling me he was sorry. I didn’t tell him I had forgiven him though I had; I was just torturing him a little bit for what he said to me, I guess. Really, I wanted to fix everything with him when I went to Sophia’s, knowing that he would be there. I was dying to see him and I was feeling so nervous. I even did my makeup that day. I was literally feeling like a girl in her first day of fresh year at high school and then I panicked. Why would he be that hypnotizing?
I was a fool for him. I realized that when I felt like I was walking barefoot over glass when he told me that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship for “some kisses”. I really felt like an idiot. He wasn’t “some kisses” for me and for some fucking reason I thought I was more for him too. I guess I was just wrong.
I know I had been a bitch to him, as Sandra let me know when she came back home, so it is just fair I guess. I can’t help but to blame myself because, at the end of the day, it was me who told him I thought that it was better for us to be just friends but he was making everything so difficult being so stern and distant.
I don’t think at all that it is better for us to be just friends though and these days of just friends with him have been killing me. I am a fool for him. I kept on repeating that to myself after our second just friends’ day. He would smile at me showing me his dimples and my heart would skip a beat every time he accidentally touched me. It’s really heartbreaking to see how great he is doing at being just my friend when it’s so hard for me. I pushed him away anyway so it’s not like I can’t complain.
I’m just tired of pretending I don’t care about him. Fuck, I miss him and I want him to hug me so desperately that I can’t even think about anything else. I had avoided hanging out with the guys these past two days. I need to talk to Louis though but I don’t want to bother him with this because I know he wasn’t fond of our plans since the beginning. I want him to comfort me though so I’ll give it a shot.
-Hey, Louis, what’s up?
He picks up his phone so creepily quick every time.
-Hey, Valerie, how are you doing?
-Mmm....I’m good but I want you to talk to me.
-About what? - He asks confused. – You mean you want to talk to me, don’t you? – He says laughing slightly.
-I want both to talk to you and you to talk to me.
-Shoot, then.
-I miss him.
-Who are you talking about?
-Seriously?
-Seriously.
-Who would I be talking about? I’m talking about Harry. I miss Harry.
-Can you say that again?
-What the hell is wrong with you? – I ask smiling.
-I haven’t heard you. Can you say it again?
His voice sounds weird. Does he have the phone on speaker mode?
-I have said I miss Harry. Don’t make me say it one more time or I’ll kill you.
-Why would you miss him? You saw him two days ago.
-I know. I miss what I had with him before everything messed up. I don’t want to talk about this on the phone, to be honest, Louis.
-Alright. I hope you are not busy today and if you are, you are cancelling your plans. I want you to come to the studio and see us record and you can try to record yourself; it would be fun. Then we can talk about whatever you want. Please don’t say no. I’m picking you up in twenty minutes. – He says confident and I laugh.
-Cool. – I can hear him grinning through the phone.
-Thank you. See you in 20.
Twenty minutes later Louis rings my bell. I have decided I’m wearing my Silence + Noise Addison mock-neck cropped black top and a denim high waist skirt with black sandals. Louis knocks the door and when I open it he hugs me like he hasn’t seen me in ages.
-You’re going to kill Harry. – He says glancing at my outfit.
-Yeah, right. He doesn’t give a damn about me anymore. – I tell him while I put my hair into a high messy bun.
He looks at me shaking his head.
-You are so clueless.
He opens the car door for me while shaking his head and I get into the car to find Harry sitting there listening to music and looking through the window. So he won’t even look at me. Sweet. I touch his arm for him to look at me and when he turns to face me I realize he was asleep.
-Sorry. I didn’t know you were asleep. – I tell him apologetically.
-Come here.
He says sleepily smiling at me making my heart skips a beat. I hug him as he opens his arms for me to lean my head on his chest. He caresses my back and doesn’t let me go so we make all the way to the studio hugging each other. Not that I’m complaining but I am not sure if this is a good idea for me.
When we arrive, he gets out of the car before and waits for me to walk next to me. I smile at him. I have given up already. If I fall for Harry, I’ll figure it out later.
-Don’t look at me that way. – I tell him.
-Which way? – He says amused.
-That way. Don’t flirt with me with your eyes if you want to be my friend. You have the salesman’s look.
-Jesus. – He says laughing. – I am pretty sure you were the one who came up with this friends’ idea, not me.
I look at him while he walks clueless into the studio. Lately I just can’t get my eyes off of him. Once we are in the studio Harry introduces me to everyone and the guys get into the booth. Niall hugs me till I’m out of breath and Liam is more delicate with me; they are both sweet though. So I’m finally going to see them singing for real.
They are messing with each other into the booth until they put their headphones on. Liam, who seems to be the most serious one of the four, speaks through the mic.
-Guys, we want to try Harry’s new song.
-How is it called? –John asks them.
-Valerie, I think. – Louis shouts smiling and Harry hits him.
-Diana. – Harry says embarrassed. – But we don’t have to record that one today. I mean today. We could do it tomorrow or any other day for that matter.
-No, today is a good day. – Liam says.
Harry smirks and nods. What the hell was that, Louis? Did Harry write a song about me? Why does Louis have to be so annoying anyway?
The music begins and their music producer looks at me to join him at the table.
-I bet it’s not the first time someone writes a song for you.
-What are you talking about? – I ask him clueless but optimistic.
-Didn’t he tell you? What a coward. – John laughs and looks to the booth through the glass.
They record the whole song and I think they are incredible. John presses a button which is in front of us and speaks to the guys.
- That was good.
- Good? – I say involuntarily. – That was awesome. I think I’ve fallen in love with all of you guys.
They all laugh in the booth and spend two hours recording; this time in turns. When Louis gets out of the booth I go with him so that he can have a coke.
-Valerie, I think? – I ask him when we are both alone.
-I mean, isn’t it obvious it’s about you? “I speak a different language but I still hear your call” Geez, it’s clearly you.
I can’t help but to smile. I mean I like to think it’s about me and actually when the song says “You don’t even know me” reminds me so much of Harry and I at the pier or the first time we kissed at my party. I think I told him that.
-And you like it; you are smiling like a fool. – He says giving me a bottle of Coke. – What did you want to talk about then?
-I’m not – I say smiling like a fool – and I wanted to talk about me and you and Harry and about what the hell is wrong with me.
-You guys are idiots.
-Sorry?
-You really are. Especially Harry but you are just another one. I won’t say anything because he is my friend but I truly think you guys need to talk. You are just wasting your time.
-Well, I don’t think we are Louis. – I tell him a bit annoyed.
-I mean your time of being together. For some reason you have been acting bitchy with him. You guys only have a month left. Don’t waste it. You like each other and everyone knows that except from you, apparently.
-We are friends, Louis.
-You are not. At least not for him. I can’t read you just yet because I’ve only known you for three months but have you seen how he looks at you? And when you call him? Well you obviously haven’t seen that but I have. He is like that. – He smiles like a monkey with eyes almost closed and huge grin holding his cell phone against his ear.
I laugh at him but for some reason my whole body softens.
-Jesus, you are smiling like that too! You two are definitely idiots! Don’t waste your time, Valerie! Give it a shot!
-Louis, I don’t do relationships and he doesn’t want that either. He agreed with me when I told him we would be better off being just friends.
-I know you don’t do relationships, Val, although I don’t know why you wouldn’t but I think you could take advantage of your time with him before you guys split apart. You know when I met Eleanor I tried to stay away from her because I didn’t want her to get in a relationship with me as I know how difficult it can get. Eventually I decided I didn’t want to fight against it anymore. I just hope it isn’t too late for you when you realise you truly like him. – I nod in appreciation of him telling me this. – Look, I know press make Harry out to be a womanizer and a heart breaker and all that shit, but he is not.
-Well you know how press make me out, don’t you? – I ask him raising my eyebrows.
Press make me out like this crazy kid who doesn’t know what she is doing or what she wants hooking up with one guy and another on the weekends. They might be right about me though.
-I do. – He says taking a sip from his Coke.
-The thing is I don’t think he wants to have anything to do with me anymore. You know he agreed with me on being just friends the other day at Sophia’s and he has been doing the friend roll too good. He has no problem with it.
-As I said, you need to talk to him. – He nods at me. – You really do. You seem to have no idea about how hard being just your friend is being for him but I do and I’ll tell you he is going mad. Like, really. – He says looking to the corner of the room making me laugh. – And just for the record, Valerie, I really don’t think there is any man out there that wouldn’t want to have something, anything, to do with you unless they are either gay or crazy. Actually, only gay, crazy men would go even crazier for you.
How sweet is that? I hug Louis as tight as I can while he laughs and then Niall sticks his blond head from the corner of the living room where Louis and I are having our coke and he tells Louis that it’s his turn in a few minutes. We both go to the recording studio and see that Harry stills in the booth recording. Darling, he is handsome. He is singing Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus which I think it’s such a wonderful song. Then he signs bits of some other songs which I have never heard hence I assume they are original. I still thinking about what Louis have just said and about what Sandra has been saying to me in our relax sessions of massages and beauty and I think they might be right. I mean I can’t be my whole life thinking about how things would have worked out with Douglas, can I? Maybe Harry is all I need to forget Douglas and everything about him. So I might just let things be.
When he finishes, their producers congrats him and he gets out of the booth smiling sheepishly proud of himself. I am grinning at him when he looks at me and he squints his eyes confused at my abrupt bliss. I am definitely letting things be.
-You’re going to kill Harry. – He says glancing at my outfit.
-Yeah, right. He doesn’t give a damn about me anymore. – I tell him while I put my hair into a high messy bun.
He looks at me shaking his head.
-You are so clueless.
He opens the car door for me while shaking his head and I get into the car to find Harry sitting there listening to music and looking through the window. So he won’t even look at me. Sweet. I touch his arm for him to look at me and when he turns to face me I realize he was asleep.
-Sorry. I didn’t know you were asleep. – I tell him apologetically.
-Come here.
He says sleepily smiling at me making my heart skips a beat. I hug him as he opens his arms for me to lean my head on his chest. He caresses my back and doesn’t let me go so we make all the way to the studio hugging each other. Not that I’m complaining but I am not sure if this is a good idea for me.
When we arrive, he gets out of the car before and waits for me to walk next to me. I smile at him. I have given up already. If I fall for Harry, I’ll figure it out later.
-Don’t look at me that way. – I tell him.
-Which way? – He says amused.
-That way. Don’t flirt with me with your eyes if you want to be my friend. You have the salesman’s look.
-Jesus. – He says laughing. – I am pretty sure you were the one who came up with this friends’ idea, not me.
I look at him while he walks clueless into the studio. Lately I just can’t get my eyes off of him. Once we are in the studio Harry introduces me to everyone and the guys get into the booth. Niall hugs me till I’m out of breath and Liam is more delicate with me; they are both sweet though. So I’m finally going to see them singing for real.
They are messing with each other into the booth until they put their headphones on. Liam, who seems to be the most serious one of the four, speaks through the mic.
-Guys, we want to try Harry’s new song.
-How is it called? –John asks them.
-Valerie, I think. – Louis shouts smiling and Harry hits him.
-Diana. – Harry says embarrassed. – But we don’t have to record that one today. I mean today. We could do it tomorrow or any other day for that matter.
-No, today is a good day. – Liam says.
Harry smirks and nods. What the hell was that, Louis? Did Harry write a song about me? Why does Louis have to be so annoying anyway?
The music begins and their music producer looks at me to join him at the table.
-I bet it’s not the first time someone writes a song for you.
-What are you talking about? – I ask him clueless but optimistic.
-Didn’t he tell you? What a coward. – John laughs and looks to the booth through the glass.
They record the whole song and I think they are incredible. John presses a button which is in front of us and speaks to the guys.
- That was good.
- Good? – I say involuntarily. – That was awesome. I think I’ve fallen in love with all of you guys.
They all laugh in the booth and spend two hours recording; this time in turns. When Louis gets out of the booth I go with him so that he can have a coke.
-Valerie, I think? – I ask him when we are both alone.
-I mean, isn’t it obvious it’s about you? “I speak a different language but I still hear your call” Geez, it’s clearly you.
I can’t help but to smile. I mean I like to think it’s about me and actually when the song says “You don’t even know me” reminds me so much of Harry and I at the pier or the first time we kissed at my party. I think I told him that.
-And you like it; you are smiling like a fool. – He says giving me a bottle of Coke. – What did you want to talk about then?
-I’m not – I say smiling like a fool – and I wanted to talk about me and you and Harry and about what the hell is wrong with me.
-You guys are idiots.
-Sorry?
-You really are. Especially Harry but you are just another one. I won’t say anything because he is my friend but I truly think you guys need to talk. You are just wasting your time.
-Well, I don’t think we are Louis. – I tell him a bit annoyed.
-I mean your time of being together. For some reason you have been acting bitchy with him. You guys only have a month left. Don’t waste it. You like each other and everyone knows that except from you, apparently.
-We are friends, Louis.
-You are not. At least not for him. I can’t read you just yet because I’ve only known you for three months but have you seen how he looks at you? And when you call him? Well you obviously haven’t seen that but I have. He is like that. – He smiles like a monkey with eyes almost closed and huge grin holding his cell phone against his ear.
I laugh at him but for some reason my whole body softens.
-Jesus, you are smiling like that too! You two are definitely idiots! Don’t waste your time, Valerie! Give it a shot!
-Louis, I don’t do relationships and he doesn’t want that either. He agreed with me when I told him we would be better off being just friends.
-I know you don’t do relationships, Val, although I don’t know why you wouldn’t but I think you could take advantage of your time with him before you guys split apart. You know when I met Eleanor I tried to stay away from her because I didn’t want her to get in a relationship with me as I know how difficult it can get. Eventually I decided I didn’t want to fight against it anymore. I just hope it isn’t too late for you when you realise you truly like him. – I nod in appreciation of him telling me this. – Look, I know press make Harry out to be a womanizer and a heart breaker and all that shit, but he is not.
-Well you know how press make me out, don’t you? – I ask him raising my eyebrows.
Press make me out like this crazy kid who doesn’t know what she is doing or what she wants hooking up with one guy and another on the weekends. They might be right about me though.
-I do. – He says taking a sip from his Coke.
-The thing is I don’t think he wants to have anything to do with me anymore. You know he agreed with me on being just friends the other day at Sophia’s and he has been doing the friend roll too good. He has no problem with it.
-As I said, you need to talk to him. – He nods at me. – You really do. You seem to have no idea about how hard being just your friend is being for him but I do and I’ll tell you he is going mad. Like, really. – He says looking to the corner of the room making me laugh. – And just for the record, Valerie, I really don’t think there is any man out there that wouldn’t want to have something, anything, to do with you unless they are either gay or crazy. Actually, only gay, crazy men would go even crazier for you.
How sweet is that? I hug Louis as tight as I can while he laughs and then Niall sticks his blond head from the corner of the living room where Louis and I are having our coke and he tells Louis that it’s his turn in a few minutes. We both go to the recording studio and see that Harry stills in the booth recording. Darling, he is handsome. He is singing Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus which I think it’s such a wonderful song. Then he signs bits of some other songs which I have never heard hence I assume they are original. I still thinking about what Louis have just said and about what Sandra has been saying to me in our relax sessions of massages and beauty and I think they might be right. I mean I can’t be my whole life thinking about how things would have worked out with Douglas, can I? Maybe Harry is all I need to forget Douglas and everything about him. So I might just let things be.
When he finishes, their producers congrats him and he gets out of the booth smiling sheepishly proud of himself. I am grinning at him when he looks at me and he squints his eyes confused at my abrupt bliss. I am definitely letting things be.
Harry’s POV
As I walk out of the recording studio I see Valerie leaning against the window and grinning at me. She has pretty much ignored me all this time and now she seems so happy to see me. Man, is she bipolar. I go to chat with Liam a bit just to torture Valerie a little bit. She can’t have this effect on me and I want to show her that I can ignore her too.
Since she told me she thought it was better for us to be just friends I have been dying to tell her she is wrong. It might be better for her but it is definitely not better for me. I’m going insane. I have been trying to be her friend so hard. At first, I really thought it was for the best and I even wanted our friendship to work out but as days pass I realized I didn’t want to be her friend. Of course I don’t. I thought, because I am such a dick, that I didn’t need a girlfriend and I don’t need a girlfriend but I want her. Not necessarily as a girlfriend if she doesn’t want to but I want to have her in my life and I want to kiss her and to hug her and to hold her and to have sex with her, I’ll say it. I haven’t been able of getting her out of my mind and every day is harder to be next to her without touching her or kissing her. I miss kissing her that much that I could spend a whole day with her just kissing her all the time. Just she and I. Kissing. All day long.
Why does she have to be so beautiful anyway? Why does she have that flawless skin and why on Earth would she come to the studio with a skirt which lets me see her legs or that fucking little top or whatever it is called? I am going mad just by looking at her. Whenever I remember that I have actually touched her until she moaned my name I just rise my own temperature. I wanted to talk to her and tell her that I do not want to be her friend and, when Louis put his phone on speaker mode for me to listen to Valerie saying that she misses me, I finally made up my mind. I am talking to her today and I’ll tell her that I want us to have fun together as we used to. I want to have sex with her so badly it blows my mind every now and then. I’m sick, I suppose.
She doesn’t come to me while I speak to Liam although I’m craving for her to come. I hate that she doesn’t crave my company and my closeness as I crave hers, but I guess she stills considering me her friend with benefits as she called us when she was talking to Niall about “our thing”. Having her as a friend with benefits is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes I just want to hug her or cuddle with her and that’s not what friends with benefits do. We haven’t had sex yet though. Not because I didn’t want to though and although things have got a bit heated between us a few times, I respect her and I want her to know that. Here comes the thing.
I respect her and I want to cuddle with her and I want to know everything about her and I would like to show my hometown to her and just do stuff with her. Take her everywhere I could possibly take her, surprise her, dance with her a cheesy song, take care of her and pamper her quite simply. That’s not what friends with benefits do and I know she wouldn’t allow me to do that. I remember our day at the pier when she told me that she was afraid she won’t ever find the right person to fall in love with and I remember that hurt me. I found out later on why. She didn’t even see me that way, she didn’t even think she could fall in love with me and that hurt me because I might want her to. If there is something I know is that I don’t want her to fall in love with anyone else.
Eventually someone wraps her arms around me from my back and I get to smell Valerie’s shampoo. She hums when she embraces me and I see her with eyes closed reflected in the glass of the recording studio. See? This is what I’m talking about; we look so good together.
-I’m sorry. – She says against my back.
-What? – I ask genuinely confused taking her hands from my belly and turning to face her.
-I’m sorry. – She says embarrassed looking at me.
-For what?
-You know for what.
-I thought you didn’t owe me any explanations because we were just friends.
-It sounds so stupid. – She says smiling apologetically at me. – Can we talk somewhere else?
She says looking around making me notice that there were actually other people in the room.
-Sure but, just for the record, I’m sorry too.
She laughs at that. I think it’s the 500th time I tell her I’m sorry but I really am. I’ve missed her as crazy. I haven’t kissed her in a week and it’s almost unbearable. She grabs my hand and takes me to another room in the studio four rooms away from where the lads are. She closes the door after her; for sure no one is listening now.
-I miss you. – She says looking into my eyes and I can’t help but to smile after I feel a pinch in my stomach. – Look, Hazz, – I love that she uses my pet name again – I know you don’t do relationships and...
-Well, Valerie, I wanted to talk to you about that... – I interrupt her.
-Let me finish, please? – Like I could say no with that face of hers looking at me. – I know you don’t do relationships and I actually get it. I mean, in pretty much a month we are both going our ways and...God knows when we will see each other again but I can’t help but to feel stupid for letting time pass and not being with you while I can so...I’ve been thinking and...as crazy as it sounds, I would like to live a story with you in this month without worrying about how it is going to end. I don’t know what you do to me but I don’t want to waste more time and I like how you make me feel so I thought we could create a story as a Pakistani butterfly which lives only for a month.
I know I’m smiling like a fool for the way she is smiling at me. She has let her hair down from her bun and she is beautiful as hell. Plus, I can see her tanned belly thanks to that wonderful cropped top.
-You mean you and I getting in a relationship that is going to last a month? – I ask her and she nods smiling timidly.
I mean I actually wanted to tell her that I want us to know each other better and let’s see what happens but to be honest I like this idea too.
-So... like a Pakistani butterfly – I say giving her what she has said to me. That was cheesy for Val but I liked it; she was so cute - would you be my girlfriend for a month? – I ask her smiling at how the question sounds and she laughs.
-If you want me to be....
I can’t believe she has said yes. Valerie has accepted the word girlfriend; my girlfriend; even if it’s just for a month. I smile at her.
-I would like to be your boyfriend for a month too, to be honest.
Her smile grows huge and she jumps to me to kiss me. When she presses her lips on mine I can’t help but to smile. I’ve been craving for this for a week.
I kiss her back caressing her face with my hands to deepen our kiss and have full access to her mouth. Then I move my hands to her arms until I leave them at the low of her back and kiss her long. She smiles in my mouth and it feels so good. She then bites my bottom lip and takes my whole mouth with hers and I feel I could never kiss her enough. Gosh, she tastes so good.
We keep on kissing each other for a few minutes and then we hear that the lads are calling my name. She pulls away giggling and take my hand pulling me outside the room but I pull her back to me and she collides with my chest.
-Ignore them.
I beg her pressing my lips to hers. I lean my back on the wall and pull her on top of me and she places her hands on my shoulders. She laughs but then she kisses me back and I think I’m not letting her go in a couple of hours until my mouth is completely dried.
-I need to remind you – she has to fight with me to speak since I won’t quit kissing her – you are....at work.
-I need to remind you – I don’t even let myself speak since I need to kiss her lips – you have got me denied for a week. You owe me hours of kissing.
She laughs and then pleases me kissing me long and sweetly. She kisses me slowly and lovingly and I absolutely love her tenderness and sweetness. This sort of kiss is a new Valerie’s taste. I suppose is a girlfriend’s kiss this time. I hear Niall calling my name again and Valerie closes her mouth without kissing me back. I pull out giving up and look at her with a frown and she kisses my nose.
-You need to go to work. I’ll make it up for you later. – She hugs me humming and I hug her tight. – I am your girlfriend now, remember?
I smile widely at that and we eventually go to where the lads are. We have to listen to one of the songs that we have recorded and then Liam and Niall have to record a few bits more and we will be free. I want to take Valerie to my place and tie her to my bed and kiss her until she begs me to stop but I also sort of want to take things slowly. How much I like her I don’t even know.
We listen to the song together and Valerie is next to me, her hand in the low of my back. When the song ends she congrats all of us and I take her face with my hands and kiss her on the lips. To be honest, I just want everyone in the room to know she is mine. Niall whistles and Valerie hits him while I smile. I only have a month but I’m going to take full advantage of it.
As soon as Niall gets into the booth I sit down on a chair a bit far away from everybody and call Valerie to come with me. I sit her on my lap and I can’t help but to smile like an idiot as I play along with her so that she pampers me.
-So I have a question – she says caressing my cheeks with her hands.
-And that question is...
-Who is Diana?
I laugh and she kisses the tip of my nose and plays with the curls in my neck.
-Seriously, who is she?
She says punching my chest and giving me a frown and a pout. She seems a bit jealous and I love it to be honest but I now she is messing with me. Of course she knows it’s her. I’ll play along though.
-You don’t know her. – I tell her trying not to smile.
She swallows and nods. Is she really buying it? Then she turns around and gives me her back, leaning down onto my chest and looking to the booth.
-Hey, have you really believed that? – I ask her bending to look at her face.
She looks at me sternly trying to figure me out. I can’t believe she is so oblivious.
-Valerie? – I am trying to make her speak so that I can know what she is doing.
-Yes, Harry?
She is jealous! She bought it! Jesus, she is such a silly girl. I laugh hard throwing by head back amazed at her jealousy. I don’t know why I like to see that I can get her jealous. Maybe because that’s how I know she does care about me.
-Val – I keep on laughing so I can’t even talk to her.
Valerie stands up from my lap pretending to be annoyed but she is smiling and I grab her by her hips pulling her towards me. She goes away though because I’m laughing and I’m not strong enough to throw her on top of me.
-Val, don’t go! – I say amused.
-Why don’t you go with Diana? I’m sure she would enjoy your company.
Her jealous version makes me laugh.
-Come on! I don’t want to be with Diana, I rather be with you.
She looks at me thoughtfully and brings her fingers to her lips, tracing her bottom lip while she looks at me.
-Tell Diana that your friend Valerie, who is hot as hell, says hi.
-My friend Valerie? You mean my girlfriend, don’t you?
I like how it sounds especially because it is not fully true so it has the best of everything. I don’t know if the lads have heard it but to be honest I don’t give a damn.
-Well...I don’t know.... – She doubts biting the inner right wall of her mouth.
I get closer to her and she gives me her back turning around quickly trying to hide a smile. I hug her from her back and talks to her in the crock of her neck.
-You know the song is about you. Don’t get away from me today.
That might have sounded a bit too desperate but I really don’t want her to get away from me today nor any other day. I’m craving for her.
-Don’t get away from me ever. – She says hugging my arms which are hugging her belly.
That makes me smile so widely that I know she notices it. She turns around to face me and places her arms around my neck.
-It was beautiful. Thank you.
How on this planet can someone be that beautiful? She then kisses my lips and we make out for a few minutes until Louis coughs near us. Valerie pulls out and hides her face in my chest embarrassed and I tell Louis to fuck off. When she hears that it was Louis she sticks her head out and goes towards him to mess with him. She gets on a piggyback and he holds her surprised cursing and then they both laugh while I look at her as an idiot. Geez, I like her.
Then her gaze meets mine and I smirk at her. Valerie leaves Louis alone pushing him before coming almost running towards me. She grabs my hand and leads me to the room where we talked and made out half an hour ago. She closes the door after her and collides with me pushing me against a desk where I kind of sit crushing her lips with mine. She smiles in our kiss and I kiss her back tenderly caressing her arms and placing them around my neck. We make out slowly and sweetly, enjoying each other’s mouths and she sucks lovingly my lips. I like the sound or mouths made when we kiss.
She then sighs in our kiss and I start to get heated up when she removes the space between us by pressing her body against mine. Then I kiss her more passionately and she smiles at my eagerness. She places herself on top of me so that our groins touch and I push her caringly against the wall and kiss her while she smiles. I then kiss her neck while she tangles her fingers in my hair. I suck on a particular spot on her neck trying to give her a love bite. I bring my hand to caress the back of her thigh and then I am brave enough to grab her butt. Touching her body this way is giving me a boner and then I remember her being paranoid about me not wanting to have sex with her.
-I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want to have sex with you. Are you crazy? I can’t wait. – I whisper in her ear so that she knows I’m craving to have her.
-Why wouldn’t you then? – She says and I smile in her neck.
-I’d have sex with you right now. How could you think I didn’t want to?
I’m really turned on now that I’m free to tell her everything that’s on my mind. I am picturing how it would be to take her here against this wall. That thought turns me on so badly that I find myself kissing her as hard as I have ever kissed anyone and I feel like biting her lips. I then touch her butt under the fabric of her skirt, feeling the thin cotton from her undies and the fact that she lets me do whatever I want with her body drives me mad. I really want to get inside of her and I caress her crotch with my hand just to see how far she lets me go. She moans against my lips and sucks my bottom lip blowing my mind.
-Don’t be mean, Harry. – She whispers against my lips.
It’s not that I’m trying to tease her; I just can’t get enough of her and my mind is so creative right now. The only thought of how she would taste drives me insane and I wonder if she would ever let me eat her. I am fighting to breathe but I like her so much and want her so badly that I don’t even care. I suck her neck determined to leave her a love bite so that everyone knows she is taken. She is breathing heavily as I caress both her belly and back and fight with her skin to leave my love mark. Her moans are driving me mad. She then takes my hand and pulls me to the other wall, where there is a corner that is in the dark. She places her back on the wall and kisses me passionately pulling me practically on top of her. I feel her tongue so inside of my mouth that she is blowing my mind with what she is doing with it. She then caresses my crotch through my jeans. Holy shit, she is going to kill me.
-I want to touch you. – She says against my lips and that drives me mad. – Can I? – She asks sexily before biting my bottom lip.
I take her hand and place it on my crotch as she kisses me feverishly. She then unfastens my belt and unzipped my trousers, introducing her hand into them and caressing my crotch through the fabric of my underpants.
-You drive me crazy, Val. – I tell her and regret it the same minute. I don’t know how she is going to take it but I feel her smile against my lips. So she liked it.
She then introduces her hand in my underpants and caresses my dick. I think I’m going to explode if she doesn’t take it. I groan in her mouth begging for her to start the hand job and when she finally does I can’t kiss her anymore. I just have my mouth open to try to get some air in my lungs. She kisses my neck and my jaw line and sucks on my neck giving me a love bite while she does her magic with her hand. I rest both my hands against the wall besides her head and she searches for my mouth to kiss me.
-Why won’t you kiss me back as before? Don’t you like what I’m doing to you?
Her words are driving me mad and I take her face with my hands to kiss her. I bite her bottom lip as she did with mine and she sucks mine. I am kissing her hard when I feel I’m coming.
-I’m coming. – I tell her out of breath.
-Let go. – She says looking into my eyes and then she kisses me sweetly.
She is putting me on edge and I release and moan out of breath. She keeps on kissing me while I try to catch my breath and I realize I’m almost sweating. She then pulls away but rests her forehead on mine leaving our mouths inches apart. I am still recomposing myself for that.
-Jesus Christ, Valerie.
She laughs and then traces her way with kisses from my lips to my ear.
-You better zip your trousers, Mr Styles. We have to get back with everyone or they would start to suspect.
-And what about you?
-What do you mean?
-You give me that hand job and don’t want me to please you? – I ask looking at her.
-You can please me later, can’t you?
I think I’m having a heart attack only for seeing her with that smile. She then places her lips on mine and traces my bottom lip with her tongue and after that she gets herself away from my grip which was putting her against the wall and walks away leaving me out of breath. Valerie is the sexiest thing I’ll ever see.
Valerie’s POV
I walk into the room where the lads are and find Niall playing with a ball. I take the ball away from him when he doesn’t notice and raise my eyebrows when he looks at me with a frown. He then laughs and asks me for the ball. I stop to think for a few seconds considering giving him the ball and he comes towards me shaking his head. I give him the ball before he can even start the game. He smiles and I nod at him.
A few minutes later Harry gets into the room and he looks at me. I greet him waving innocently giving him a smile. He laughs and I grin at him. He then goes to talk to Liam and I go chat with his producer Julian. He is funny. We talk about writing songs and about his job. I am actually a bit of a writer myself and for some reason I tell Julian about that. Not even Louis knows.
-I sing horribly but I do like writing songs and I can play the guitar.
-Are you good at it?
-I mean I’ve been playing for a lot of years now. When I was little, since age six my mum used to take me to piano lessons and then when I turned 14 a friend of mine, who is actually a musician, gave me a guitar as a birthday present and he himself taught me how to play. I don’t play piano since I was fifteen or so but I still play the guitar as much as I can.
-Do I know that friend of yours?
-Probably. He is Douglas Booth.
-Geez, I would definitely like to hear you. He is good.
I laugh embarrassed. I am not a performer so having a music producer listening to my guitar skills is a bit intimidating. Julian then stands up and walks towards the studio which is in front of the recording studio of the guys. I can see him through the glass and he gestures with his head to tell me to come in.
-Here you have. You can choose the guitar that you want.
-I’m not playing. – I say smiling.
-There are a lot of guitars. – He says smiling and raising his eyebrows.
I look around and I see that there are Ibanez, Fender, Martin and Taylor. I actually see a Martin which is pretty similar to my own guitar, which was a Douglas’ gift for my 19th birthday last year. Then I see a 1964 Gibson J-50 and I walk towards it. I touch the strings and turns towards Julian who is looking at me smiling.
- This guitar is.... – I say feathering the strings under my fingerprints.
- I know. You can play it if you want to.
I smile at him and decide I will. I mean it might be embarrassing but how could I let this opportunity pass by? Plus, I’ve played the guitar for almost six years now so I’m good. I take the guitar and sit down on a stool in front of Julian who is smiling widely at me. I decide I’ll play my fingerstyle version of Gravity by John Mayer. It might not be my most impressive fingerstyle but I’m sure I won’t do this one badly since I’ve played it like a thousand times so I could play it with my eyes closed. While I play I don’t move my eyes from the neck of the guitar though because I don’t want to get nervous if I see Julian is right there in front of me.
While I play the song I smile at the memories that come to my mind. I remember I learnt this song during the summer when I was 18 when Douglas, Sandra, her boyfriend Dave and I rented a house in Brighton. It was the best summer ever.
When I finish, Julian claps his hands for me.
-That was brilliant. – He says laughing surprised and I smile timidly at him.
I see Harry and Liam, Liam with raised eyebrows smiling. I bet he didn’t expect that.
-You never mentioned you could do that. – Harry says getting closer to me.
-I’m pretty sure I did. – I tell remembering the first night he came to my room.
-You didn’t mention you were that good.
I smile at him and pout my lips lifting my head for him to kiss me. He smiles and bends down to kiss me tenderly.
-I’ll leave you guys alone on this romantic moment. – Julian says and I smile blushing. I didn’t remember he was still there to be honest. – Again, that was impressive, Val. – Julian says to me but I can’t even look at him.
-Thank you, Julian.
When he leaves Harry turns to face me and grabs my chin to lift my face so that I’m looking into his eyes.
-Can I take you for dinner after we are free from this jail?
I kiss his lips again before even answering him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today but I’m so cheesy I just want to cuddle with him. It is a sweet short kiss, a bit longer than a peck though.
-Please.
-I have to think of a way of avoiding fucking paps because I don’t think I’m going to be able to be more than an hour without kissing you.
-I mean we already have a couple’s name so... – I tell him.
He looks at me smiling. I don’t know if he knows it but we are Halery. It’s stupid those mix names that the press does but I have to recognize they are funny.
After an hour we are done and Louis drives me home so I can get ready before Harry takes me out tonight. We are cuddling on the back seat of Louis’ car but we haven’t told him yet that we are a couple for a month. When Louis stops the car I realize I’m in the entrance of my neighbourhood so I thank Louis and kiss Harry goodbye for a good minute although I try not to make out because Louis is stuck with us in the car. I then mess Louis’ hair and get out of the car and I heard another door. When I turn around I see there is no one there and then Harry’s head sticks from behind the car and Louis goes without him.
-What are you doing? – I ask him laughing.
-I’m walking you home and then I’m walking back to my place.
-Why?
-Because I didn’t want to make Louis waits.
-You know from here to my place it’s like five minutes.
-Yes, but the goodbye make out session might take a bit more.
I laugh at him and he walks towards me. I wait for him and then we walk side by side. We talk about their next tour and how excited they all are because they think the show is so good. When we get to my door he takes my hand before I can turn to face him and he pulls me closer to him.
-You are beautiful. – He says while he hugs me.
For some reason I want all the paparazzi in LA to be here now and take hundreds of pictures so that everyone knows Harry Styles is hugging me at my front door. I hug him tight with my arms around his waist while his arms wrap my back. I hum in our hug and he hides his face in the crock of my neck. Then I pull out and look into his eyes before kissing him. We kiss long but slowly and tenderly.
-You have to let me get home so that I can get ready for tonight. – I say against his lips as he wouldn’t stop kissing me and I laugh. – I want to look beautiful for you tonight.
-I have already told you; you are beautiful.
He says looking into my eyes and then he kisses me again. I laugh at his mouth.
-I’m sorry. – He says chuckling.
He then puts his hands up proving innocence and I walk into my house. As I close the door I feel this urge of open it again and keep on kissing him but I head to the shower. I’ll have him tonight.
Notes
So this is why the story is untitled What about Pakistani butterflies?
God save thos Pakistani butterflies!
What do you guys think of this idea? Would you say yes to Harry Styles if he asked you something like that? I would haha
Hope you guys like it! XX
Thanks XxAbbyxX! I'm really glad you like it!! Good luck with school work :):)
10/1/15