Stupid Fanfiction moments.
How to make a realistic fanfic.
A/N: I am bringing back the how to series. Fuck yeah. Recommend a genre for me to how to please? ;)
So you wanna write fanfictions? But being creative and making an alternate universe isnt your forte? Not to worry! Follow these few easy steps and you will be able to write your very own realistic fanfic.
Remember the motto: Why bother being original? when you can just follow the same formula as everyone else.
1.The boys with no alterations.
That also means you have to stick to the cliches about their character traits which you are not allowed to change. Meaning Louis always wear stripes eats nothing but carrots and pranks everyone all the time. Liam will forever be the sweetest guy ever, Harry is also the sweetest guy ever. Zayn is quiet and loves himself, and all Niall is ever good for is drinking pints and eating a shit ton of food.
2. Female protagonist.
You will need a girl, I recommened using a white supermodel with preferbly long blond or brown hair, again no exceptions to that. However if supermodel is too fancy for you just use some famous actress or Lily Collins (who is a supermodel whom I refuse to acknowlegde as an actress. Same goes for you Cara.)
3. Plotting (something horrible.)
Now you will need a storyline and we do not want to be too original here so there are only a few options to choose from. She gets invited backstage after her future love interest spots her in the crowd of people. Or she already has a backstage pass. Or she sneaks backstage and they are like, cool.
Now again we do not want to get to original here so make sure that you main girl either do not really know who they are or definatly is not a fan of them, Why? Well because they would never date a screaming fan. I actually do not know why authors likes this idea but shit. Make sure she hates them and only goes because her friend drags her.
4.When you need a line make it a cliche.
Again cruicial step to this is making sure your dialog is as bland and predictable as your storyline is. For starters when she tells them her name make future love interest say: "a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." Go along lines of those like making Niall call his love interest princess and give Harry green orbs and chokolate curls and you will be good to go.
5. Who needs parents.
Not this 15-17 year old, especially when she is dropping out of school to tour with her pop star boyfriend. No permission needed. In fact if you can kill them off or never mention them you'll save time yourself and some for the audience.
6.Have no actual plot after they meet.
Who needs more plot when you have this amazing start. You could do some fluffy one shots afterwards but to be honest, who cares? You have boned and there are nothing fun about this story anymore, that or you can use the same thing they do in high school fanfics and make the boy cheat on her or let her get kidnapped. And with these fanfics another option presents itself. Let girl try to commit suicide after 2 comments saying that she is fat after her having no signs what so ever physically or mentally of a depression. Because you can go from sunshine in a spotless mind to I need to end my life in a matter of seconds.
7. Throw logic out the window.
If you have not realised that before now well here is final step, who needs logic? or restraining orders? which is what you normally get when you break into a rock stars dressing room. Fuck that, make them fall in love and throw away any type of togic then take a piss on it and light it on fire.
Along with your dignity.
Now you are ready to write a realistic fanfic.
A/N: wuhu! That was fun to write. Please tell me what you thought about this and tell me what genre i should teach you to write next.
@somethingsimple
well, first off I am sorry you feel that way. And I will agree with you on some point, yes I do write like an eight year old, however if your niece has a vocabulary like mine I would be both proud and with all my swearing a bit disturbed. I did not say you could not be pleasent to be around on your period, I said that I was not, and I am not teaching young girls that all cases are like that, but I wanted to point out the flaw in most writing which is making it seem like something nice and cute, which is not my experince. (As I think I noted but I honestly do not remember.)
I do understand putting work into your writing because I do write proper fanfictions myself, obviously not on here because that would be hypocritical. And I do not state that here because this is meant to talk shit and mock bad fanfictions, but I do admire writers. However, I admire writer the same way I admire country music; if you are writing honestly and putting effort into it, and do things that are original and your own style. Then fantastic! Well done you! What I am shitting on is the constant copy pasting of the same 10 storylines and people reusing plot lines or just being plain bad. So yes it can be a peak into someones mind, and those stories I do applaud (I did want a moment of silence for well written original fanfictions.)
You say that you dont understand why I would want to put other people down. I am not putting anyone down, if you read through will see even if I use examples I never say who it is, because I do not want to hurt anyone specifically, but I do wanna mock anyone things about stories that have become so stereotypical and unoriginal to read. I mock things and trends that pop up in a lot of fanfics or imagines, because I actually think that they should change. But my intention is not to hurt anyone specifically, I wanna make people laugh or maybe be like, oh I do that in my writing. Hell sometimes it even made me rethink a few plot points because I found out that it was super stereotypical.
Also, you clearly did not read the discription for this story because it clearly states not to read if you get offended easily.
Lastly I would like to answer your last phrases, yes I am a pathetic person who use humor as a defense mechanisme, but if you have a political correct stick so far up your ass that you can not take that someone is mocking stereotypes about fanfiction, then honestly you are truely pathetic as well.
Also I have a quite nice life actually and almost all of these have been written at 1am because I am bored.
ps. you said my writing is really offensive, which parts? Because if there is something that is actually offensive to someone i am willing to take it down.
pps. I am not from an english speaking country which also could explain why some things if they are offensive to you might not seem offensive in my culture.
ppps. If you think american fuckfaces are offensive, then sorry, I did like US however I dont think you can make rational decisions after electing the orange real life king Jeoffery. (I am obviously kidding.) And that was a stupid chapter where I mocked americans for insisting on calling their sport for football when the real one was invented in england centuries before america even existed.
6/9/17