Darkness's light
Heart of Gold (Chapter 21)
(Tasman P.O.V)
As I was about to sing the chorus again but I could hear the door open which made me stop singing and snap my head to see who it was. “Harry? What are you….Oh My God…the lotus flower…how you come here every day…Oh My God…how could I be soo blind,” I stated more to myself, only now that I realized that his beautiful unconscious woman is Harry’s mother and I am really shock by my realization.
Now everything seems to make sense, the way Harry acts, his attitude, his rudeness and most important of all was that fact he seems so broken from the first day I saw him at school. I had been blind, soo blind by his good looks and his charm that I couldn’t see the lost broken boy inside.
I am sooo stupid…sooo sooo stupid….
“What the FUCK are you doing here Tasman? You have no rights to be here….I DON’T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR MY MUM,” he roared which echoed through the room, “Harry I am sooo…sooo…sorry,” I started to sob again.
“You’re sorry?” he chuckled darkly, “sorry for what? Slapping me? Being here? I don’t want people like you to be around my mum…she has met, lived and seen people like you long enough in her life that she doesn’t need anymore,” he spits.
Here we go again with the saying ‘people like me’ what does he mean by this? What does he mean by the fact that his mum has met, lived and seen people like me?
“Harry…I am sorry…for everything,” I apologise, “Haha…well sorry doesn’t heal the wound that has already been open…does it? No…so your apology is no more than just everyday words hi or bye,” he replied laughing at his unfunny statement.
“WELL what do you expect me to say HARRY? I didn’t KNOW that you mum was in a FREAKEN COMA,” I said harshly, “I can’t believe I thought you were different…you are just like the rest of them…just because you didn’t know doesn’t mean you have the right to judge…but no…there you were judging me from the first day you saw me…and don’t try to lie…I can see right through you…” he growled.
“Just like the rest of who HARRY? And NO…I did not judge you…I am not a judgemental person HARRY…I tried to get to know you just like a normal person would do…I wanted to know where you were from…why you moved here…what was it like living in England…but from what I can remember…YOU were the one who DECLINED my offer and FREAKEN JUDGED ME,” I yelled back, it was true, I tried to be nice when he was here but already push me away before I even attempted.
“Tried to get to know me? Bullshit…you had all the time to get to know me TASMAN…you’ve known me for FUCKING THREE WEEKS…and what did you learn about me during all that time? Nothing…the only thing you known about me is my name,” he said, getting angrier by the minute.
“Well I would have known something about you…if you didn’t flip at everything I ask about your personal life…” I chuckled evilly which I didn’t know I could do…well until now, I have developed a lot of different personality ever since I met Harry.
“What happened in my personal life is not you goddam business,” he fights back which made me laugh an idiot, “you know what your problem is Harry? You are selfish…that’s what your problem is…every time people or someone tries to help you…you would turn them down….every time there is a helping hand reaching out to you…you would push it away and every time I tried to get close to you…you would leave me in the dark,” I explained to him with a sad tone.
“It is because I DON’T need YOUR help…I don’t need anyone’s help…I DON’T WANT your PITY Tasman,” he replied bluntly.
“Stop pushing me away Harry, the bigger your walls are the more you going to suffer on your own,” I screamed. “What do you know about suffering huh? You’ve never been through it, you… being Miss Perfect and all, with your little perfect life, probably you’ve never even felt a slight pain before,” he spat back with more anger now, for the billionth time today my tears starts to prick their way out of my now tired and puffy eyes.
“You can’t help me, you will never able to help me so you might as well give up on me now,” he told her softly as he cups my face and wiped away the tears slipping down on my cheeks her cheeks.
“No Harry you are right because I can’t if you won’t let me, but doesn’t mean that I will give up.”
From this moment and onward, I promise myself I will try to help this broken lost soul, whether we are in good terms or bad terms, I will always be there for him when he needs me because at this moment I know that’s what he needs an extra helping hand that will bring brightness to him again.
(Ann P.O.V – Harry’s mother)
I don’t know how long I have been stuck in this place, the last thing I could remember was the argument I had with Des in his car. An argument about getting divorce, I have tried to get him to divorce with me ever since Harry was born which is seventeen years ago but unfortunately, every time I tried I would just have to suffer the beatings and since Harry has become part of my life, he threatens to kill harry if I divorce him.
I am sick off this life, I wanted Harry and me to get away from Des as far away as possible, but as always the argument didn’t go down too well and then when I woke up, I am here in this unknown place.
I was lost, I didn’t know if I was dead or not, I didn’t know if this place was heaven or hell but all I know is that I will be staying here for a very long time because I don’t know the way out…there is no way out…
I became weary, I had no emotion left in me, I had cried, screamed, yelled at the top of my lungs but nothing happened. I started hearing voices, not just any voices but it was Harry’s voice and young girl name Tasman. I thought I had gone mad, you know hearing things and all, but I knew I wasn’t crazy because those voices that I am hearing weren’t from my head. They are from the outside world, the world I am no longer a part of.
I can’t see them but somehow it seems like they could see me, when they talk, they talk directly to me which I really grateful, but the problem is that they can’t hear me answer. I have never had my son spill his inner emotions with me before but ever since I have been here, Harry has been telling me everything, from his emotional thoughts to his opinion on certain things and what I was more surprise was when he started telling me about the young girl name Tasman.
Ever since my son has mention her, I started hearing her voice as well, she doesn’t know me and from everything that she has told me, I know for a fact that she doesn’t know I am Harry’s mother.
I don’t exactly know how I end up hearing her voice but she talks to me directly just like Harry has and she tells me everything. I was surprised again, when she starts to mention her feelings for my son and from that moment I knew my boy has fall for this girl and she herself is in love with him.
They both have told me everything, but not once did any of them admit that they love each other. This young girl that I have yet to be seen has a beautiful voice and only I could imagine how amazing it would sound like if she sings a duet with my son. At this moment in time, they don’t know that they are meant to be but I know for a fact that she is my son soul mate.
I love hearing from both of them, I would answer to their questions, tried to help them solve their relationship problems even if they can’t hear me. It really is like a real life soup opera (A/n: Never ending drama) but through audio and sometimes I would get up my son for being who he is because of his stubborn and arrogant behavior.
Being a teenager, as time goes on dramas starts to develop, not long ago Tasman come and cried telling me everything that happened with my son. At first it was really weird hearing things from a teenage point of view about your son, you know how they adore him and how they describe the kiss they’ve shared together and all that stuff.
But this girl was really different, he was pure, she has a pure heart and a pure soul. A couple of hours ago she explained to me what happen and how she slapped my son, I was angry that she slapped my baby but I understand why she did it though, I can only assume that Harry hasn’t told her about des yet.
I can tell how much she regretted it because she has been crying herself to sleep and she has been crying non-stop since she started talking to me. But that’s not the only reason why she is crying, my son’s words really hurt her feelings and I can tell that Harry didn’t meant what he said even though he hasn’t talked to me yet.
She started to sing a beautiful yet sad song which I assume that’s how she feels about the situation with my son now. Both Harry and her sing ‘You raise me up,’ every time they talk to me, it is Tasman’s favourite song but she doesn’t know it’s mine as well. I always enjoy there singings, Harry himself have a stunning voice and I am not even sure if Tasman have actually heard his singing voice yet.
But now I can hear both of their voices, screaming and yelling at each other. It seems that Tasman has only find out that I am Harry’s mother and Harry has only find out that Tasman has been talking to me. I have to do something to help these two beautiful souls because their relationship is already on thin ice and I know for a fact that if Harry lose Tasman he would never be lucky enough to find someone as with such a pure heart as her ever again.
I had seen my son’s heart shattered into pieces once and I will not just sit here and do nothing because I know they both will regret it.
(Harry P.O.V)
“No Harry you are right because I can’t if you won’t let me, but doesn’t mean that I will give up.” She says sweetly trying to contain herself from crying even more. This girl makes me go crazy, she makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, I can be as angry as I like but once I start to see tears forming in her dreamy eyes…I forget all the angers that built upon me, I forget the reason why I am angry and that scares me because that’s how much she has effect on me.
I think since I have met Tasman, we fight more then we compromise, but I am glad that she still sticks around and I am extremely happy to know that she was the one that kept my mum company during the time that I can’t…even if I didn’t show any gratitude towards her for doing so. I always knew Tasman has a heart of gold and she always put others before herself, that’s what I love most about her…..I mean like.
Now that I know she won’t give up on me, I am not as scared to open up to her….I will open up to her eventually but then again a certain things are better kept in the dark.
“Harry? Tasman dear is that you?” A fragile weak voice snap’s Tasman and I both out of our thoughts.
As I was about to sing the chorus again but I could hear the door open which made me stop singing and snap my head to see who it was. “Harry? What are you….Oh My God…the lotus flower…how you come here every day…Oh My God…how could I be soo blind,” I stated more to myself, only now that I realized that his beautiful unconscious woman is Harry’s mother and I am really shock by my realization.
Now everything seems to make sense, the way Harry acts, his attitude, his rudeness and most important of all was that fact he seems so broken from the first day I saw him at school. I had been blind, soo blind by his good looks and his charm that I couldn’t see the lost broken boy inside.
I am sooo stupid…sooo sooo stupid….
“What the FUCK are you doing here Tasman? You have no rights to be here….I DON’T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR MY MUM,” he roared which echoed through the room, “Harry I am sooo…sooo…sorry,” I started to sob again.
“You’re sorry?” he chuckled darkly, “sorry for what? Slapping me? Being here? I don’t want people like you to be around my mum…she has met, lived and seen people like you long enough in her life that she doesn’t need anymore,” he spits.
Here we go again with the saying ‘people like me’ what does he mean by this? What does he mean by the fact that his mum has met, lived and seen people like me?
“Harry…I am sorry…for everything,” I apologise, “Haha…well sorry doesn’t heal the wound that has already been open…does it? No…so your apology is no more than just everyday words hi or bye,” he replied laughing at his unfunny statement.
“WELL what do you expect me to say HARRY? I didn’t KNOW that you mum was in a FREAKEN COMA,” I said harshly, “I can’t believe I thought you were different…you are just like the rest of them…just because you didn’t know doesn’t mean you have the right to judge…but no…there you were judging me from the first day you saw me…and don’t try to lie…I can see right through you…” he growled.
“Just like the rest of who HARRY? And NO…I did not judge you…I am not a judgemental person HARRY…I tried to get to know you just like a normal person would do…I wanted to know where you were from…why you moved here…what was it like living in England…but from what I can remember…YOU were the one who DECLINED my offer and FREAKEN JUDGED ME,” I yelled back, it was true, I tried to be nice when he was here but already push me away before I even attempted.
“Tried to get to know me? Bullshit…you had all the time to get to know me TASMAN…you’ve known me for FUCKING THREE WEEKS…and what did you learn about me during all that time? Nothing…the only thing you known about me is my name,” he said, getting angrier by the minute.
“Well I would have known something about you…if you didn’t flip at everything I ask about your personal life…” I chuckled evilly which I didn’t know I could do…well until now, I have developed a lot of different personality ever since I met Harry.
“What happened in my personal life is not you goddam business,” he fights back which made me laugh an idiot, “you know what your problem is Harry? You are selfish…that’s what your problem is…every time people or someone tries to help you…you would turn them down….every time there is a helping hand reaching out to you…you would push it away and every time I tried to get close to you…you would leave me in the dark,” I explained to him with a sad tone.
“It is because I DON’T need YOUR help…I don’t need anyone’s help…I DON’T WANT your PITY Tasman,” he replied bluntly.
“Stop pushing me away Harry, the bigger your walls are the more you going to suffer on your own,” I screamed. “What do you know about suffering huh? You’ve never been through it, you… being Miss Perfect and all, with your little perfect life, probably you’ve never even felt a slight pain before,” he spat back with more anger now, for the billionth time today my tears starts to prick their way out of my now tired and puffy eyes.
“You can’t help me, you will never able to help me so you might as well give up on me now,” he told her softly as he cups my face and wiped away the tears slipping down on my cheeks her cheeks.
“No Harry you are right because I can’t if you won’t let me, but doesn’t mean that I will give up.”
From this moment and onward, I promise myself I will try to help this broken lost soul, whether we are in good terms or bad terms, I will always be there for him when he needs me because at this moment I know that’s what he needs an extra helping hand that will bring brightness to him again.
(Ann P.O.V – Harry’s mother)
I don’t know how long I have been stuck in this place, the last thing I could remember was the argument I had with Des in his car. An argument about getting divorce, I have tried to get him to divorce with me ever since Harry was born which is seventeen years ago but unfortunately, every time I tried I would just have to suffer the beatings and since Harry has become part of my life, he threatens to kill harry if I divorce him.
I am sick off this life, I wanted Harry and me to get away from Des as far away as possible, but as always the argument didn’t go down too well and then when I woke up, I am here in this unknown place.
I was lost, I didn’t know if I was dead or not, I didn’t know if this place was heaven or hell but all I know is that I will be staying here for a very long time because I don’t know the way out…there is no way out…
I became weary, I had no emotion left in me, I had cried, screamed, yelled at the top of my lungs but nothing happened. I started hearing voices, not just any voices but it was Harry’s voice and young girl name Tasman. I thought I had gone mad, you know hearing things and all, but I knew I wasn’t crazy because those voices that I am hearing weren’t from my head. They are from the outside world, the world I am no longer a part of.
I can’t see them but somehow it seems like they could see me, when they talk, they talk directly to me which I really grateful, but the problem is that they can’t hear me answer. I have never had my son spill his inner emotions with me before but ever since I have been here, Harry has been telling me everything, from his emotional thoughts to his opinion on certain things and what I was more surprise was when he started telling me about the young girl name Tasman.
Ever since my son has mention her, I started hearing her voice as well, she doesn’t know me and from everything that she has told me, I know for a fact that she doesn’t know I am Harry’s mother.
I don’t exactly know how I end up hearing her voice but she talks to me directly just like Harry has and she tells me everything. I was surprised again, when she starts to mention her feelings for my son and from that moment I knew my boy has fall for this girl and she herself is in love with him.
They both have told me everything, but not once did any of them admit that they love each other. This young girl that I have yet to be seen has a beautiful voice and only I could imagine how amazing it would sound like if she sings a duet with my son. At this moment in time, they don’t know that they are meant to be but I know for a fact that she is my son soul mate.
I love hearing from both of them, I would answer to their questions, tried to help them solve their relationship problems even if they can’t hear me. It really is like a real life soup opera (A/n: Never ending drama) but through audio and sometimes I would get up my son for being who he is because of his stubborn and arrogant behavior.
Being a teenager, as time goes on dramas starts to develop, not long ago Tasman come and cried telling me everything that happened with my son. At first it was really weird hearing things from a teenage point of view about your son, you know how they adore him and how they describe the kiss they’ve shared together and all that stuff.
But this girl was really different, he was pure, she has a pure heart and a pure soul. A couple of hours ago she explained to me what happen and how she slapped my son, I was angry that she slapped my baby but I understand why she did it though, I can only assume that Harry hasn’t told her about des yet.
I can tell how much she regretted it because she has been crying herself to sleep and she has been crying non-stop since she started talking to me. But that’s not the only reason why she is crying, my son’s words really hurt her feelings and I can tell that Harry didn’t meant what he said even though he hasn’t talked to me yet.
She started to sing a beautiful yet sad song which I assume that’s how she feels about the situation with my son now. Both Harry and her sing ‘You raise me up,’ every time they talk to me, it is Tasman’s favourite song but she doesn’t know it’s mine as well. I always enjoy there singings, Harry himself have a stunning voice and I am not even sure if Tasman have actually heard his singing voice yet.
But now I can hear both of their voices, screaming and yelling at each other. It seems that Tasman has only find out that I am Harry’s mother and Harry has only find out that Tasman has been talking to me. I have to do something to help these two beautiful souls because their relationship is already on thin ice and I know for a fact that if Harry lose Tasman he would never be lucky enough to find someone as with such a pure heart as her ever again.
I had seen my son’s heart shattered into pieces once and I will not just sit here and do nothing because I know they both will regret it.
(Harry P.O.V)
“No Harry you are right because I can’t if you won’t let me, but doesn’t mean that I will give up.” She says sweetly trying to contain herself from crying even more. This girl makes me go crazy, she makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, I can be as angry as I like but once I start to see tears forming in her dreamy eyes…I forget all the angers that built upon me, I forget the reason why I am angry and that scares me because that’s how much she has effect on me.
I think since I have met Tasman, we fight more then we compromise, but I am glad that she still sticks around and I am extremely happy to know that she was the one that kept my mum company during the time that I can’t…even if I didn’t show any gratitude towards her for doing so. I always knew Tasman has a heart of gold and she always put others before herself, that’s what I love most about her…..I mean like.
Now that I know she won’t give up on me, I am not as scared to open up to her….I will open up to her eventually but then again a certain things are better kept in the dark.
“Harry? Tasman dear is that you?” A fragile weak voice snap’s Tasman and I both out of our thoughts.
Notes
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4/23/15