Silent Laughter (Louis Tomlinson) [BOOK 3]

I gape at the tall man that’s in the driver’s seat, his dark, dirty blonde hair flapping slightly as the little wind blows through it from the small opening of the lowered down window.

“His name’s Garett.” Louis whispers beside me, both of us sitting next to each other in the back like little kids on a road trip.

I look to my right at him, raising an eyebrow before writing on a napkin.

‘Why is here? Do you think I’m going to kill you or something?’ I write, smiling a little.

His thumb brushes over mine faintly as he grabs the paper from my hand, chuckling.
His eyebrows just both raise up before he grabs one of my napkins from my lap and snatches the pen from my hand.

I open my mouth, but quickly close it when I see how he begins grinning as he begins writing.
What the fuck is he doing.

‘Afraid you might try raping me again.’ The writing reads when he hands it back to me.
He was laughing at his own comeback.

Oh dear Lord.

I just shake my head as I feel myself beginning to grin widely like him.

‘Forgot my lip gloss though. Damn it.’ I respond, his eyes closing briefly as he just laughs to himself, his head shaking.

‘You can always borrow mine.’

I mirror his reaction, and I just begin laughing this loud laugh that is making my stomach feel sore.

“What’s so funny?”

Both of our heads kind of jolt up at the sound of the Garett guy’s voice and Louis just turns his head towards me and begins smiling this big smile, his eyes holding this sort of comfort and warmth.

“Nothing.”

I feel myself smile back, and I just nod for some reason, a small chuckle releasing from his lips.

He shrugs and I shrug back.

“Yeah, sure. Well may I ask where the other one is.”

I feel myself raise an eyebrow and Louis looks at the man.

“Zayn went along with Liam today to check out his new place.” Louis responds, his smile now more calm and delicate in a way.

“You gonna go later or-”

Louis just shakes his head.

“Nah. My day is booked for today.”

My good mood vanishes and I feel my lips separate .

“What do you mean your day’s booked?” Garett asks, reading my mind.

Louis’ smile disappears as well, me most likely looking very lost like Captain America when he first woke up after being frozen for so long.

Yes, I like Captain America too.

Sue me.

“It’s none of your business. It just is.”

I just continue gaping at him, my lips now touching each other again. Is he planning to hang out with me the whole day again? I mean, I think yesterday was enough.

Besides, my mum would kill me if she comes back home and sees how I’m not there.

“Well it is sort of my business. I’m the one that has to drive your ass.” Garett replies, my fingers beginning to fiddle with themselves as I feel this sense of awkwardness and tension and just awkward tension all in all.

I just look down on my lap, and I’m guessing Louis noticed my discomfort since he just sighs in defeat.

“Let’s just start off with lunch and then I’ll tell you, alright?”
I look up a little, seeing how Louis is now just laying his head back against the seat, his hands holding one another on his lap.

Garett just responds with a mumble and the car grows silent.

I feel myself poke Louis’ shoulder and he lazily looks over at me as I begin now writing on a napkin, handing it to him immediately after.

‘If you eat pineapple while wearing pineapple flavored lip gloss, does it taste even more like pineapple?’

The side of his lip curls up and he grabs the pen from my hand again.

…

Louis finishes ordering our food for us, and I take another sip from my water.

We’re at this chinese restaurant that I didn’t even know existed, Garett sitting at a table at the other side of this joint.

Some eyes have been wandering to us, people whispering to each other silently, but for some odd reason, none of them having the confidence to actually stand up and approach us. Are they afraid of Garett? I mean he is a middle-aged, slightly buff man but isn’t even really paying any attention to us.

I thought that dozens of people by now would be going up to this famous kid and asking for his autograph and shit, but no one’s doing anything. They’re all just minding their own business.

I’m actually happy about that to be honest, but I’m still a little curious.

“This place is really good Winifred. They have the best fried rice; you’re going to like it I think.” Louis comments, a happy soft smile spread on his face.

I just nod awkwardly as I look back at him, not really knowing what to say.

But I try anyway.

‘I’ve only eaten chinese once.’ I write, sliding it across the small rectangular table.
His blue eyes skim over the napkin, and his happy demeanor remains oddly.

“Once? Come on Winifred. You must be lying. Chinese is like the food made by the Gods themselves. It deserves to be eaten daily.”

I shrug.

‘Not really a big deal to me.’ I mouth.

He tangles his fingers in his hair like he always seems to do. But I guess it’s because it’s so damn long. It’s even longer than Izzy’s hair.

Izzy.

Coop.

God, I miss them.

And it’s only been less than a week.

“Have you had anything better?”

I nod quickly and he forces a laugh.

“I find that hard to believe.”

I nod again.

‘Corn bread.’ My lips form.

His eyes narrow and his head tilts a little in confusion.

“Corn bread?”

I lean my body closer to the table to add to the intense effect.

‘Corn bread, Louis.’

He leans his own body closer, crossing his arms and resting his chin right on top.

“Never had it.”

I feel my eyes widen and I gasp.

“What? Is it that big of a deal?”

I click the pen dramatically, Louis rolling his eyes as he begins chuckling.

‘This corn bread I speak of is like a homage paid to society, showing how a place so shitty
can have a taste of glorious piquancy, giving the people this spec of pure aspiration. Showing everyone that there are good things in life that are worth living for.’

Louis’ mouth opens to say something, but he quickly closes it and even lifts his head up, reading the paper over and over again, his eyes narrowed in deep concentration.

“Fuck.” He finally speaks, his hand placing the paper down on the table.

“Give me some damn cornbread now.”

I just nod in approval of his reaction, giggling a little.

‘Izzy and Coop’s mum makes the best though.’ I write.

“No wonder he was your fake boyfriend. I want him as my fake boyfriend.”

I just laugh, crumpling the napkin and throwing it at him, it hitting the side of his cheek.

“I’m serious!” He defends, his teeth revealing themselves through his simper.

I roll my eyes and after a while, he finally speaks again.

“How is Izzy anyway? Is she doing well?”

I feel a little taken off guard and quickly feel my whole mood direct itself towards a downward spiral.

‘I wouldn’t know.’ I mouth, not really wanting to write anymore.

My mum hasn’t told me how long I’m forced to distance myself from them, and it’s all I have been really thinking about.

It’s almost suffocating.

I know that’s kind of problematic of me to be thinking so clingy of my friends, but no one truly understands our friendship. They are all I really look forward to each day.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t you talk to them like everyday?”

I glance down at my lap, hoping he get’s the idea.

“Shit. I’m sorry. You obviously don’t want to- shit, I’m sorry.” He apologizes genuinely.

I just take a deep breath.

Normal people don’t just avoid everything when they’re nervous.
And I’m normal.

I am.

‘It’s fine.’ I mouth again as my attention goes back on him, my mouth forcing a smile.
He forces one as well, most likely not wanting to make me uncomfortable any further.

“Here you both go.”

We both look up to see a non asian looking woman hand us a small plate of these brown swirly looking things.

“Your food is almost done. Do you both need any refilling or anything at all?”

I shake my head.

“No thank you.” Louis speaks for both of us, and she just gives us a charismatic smile before nodding her head and leaving.

‘What are these things?’ I question, grabbing one of them from the plate and bringing it up to
my face for further observation.

Louis chuckles at my action.

“They’re deep fried noodles. Quite tasty.”

He pops one into his mouth and motions me to go on and taste one as well.

I glance at him chewing on one before finally giving in.

They’re not bad.

“Like it?”

I just mumble a ‘mhmm’ as I stuff some more in my mouth.

He smiles in satisfaction.

“Better than cornbread.”

‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.’

…

“Taste it. It’s just food Winifred. It’s not going to eat you, it’s supposed to be the other way around.”

I just stare at the piece of sushi that’s being stabbed by my fork and I stick out my tongue ever so slightly.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

I narrow my eyes at him briefly, receiving an eyeroll before sticking the piece of sushi in my mouth.

Oh my gosh.

My eyes close tightly, and I just squeeze my nose with my two fingers as I try to chew it as quickly as I can without barfing the disgusting thing out.

“I’m guessing you don’t like it.”

I swallow hard, making a gagging noise right after, grabbing my water and drinking as much as I can to remove the taste of raw fish from my mouth.

But it’s not working and I just grab some more of those deep fried noodles, it substituting the atrocious flavor with its own.

“So sushi for next time is a no go. Got it.”

I practically choke as I’m in the middle of swallowing, my eyes widening.

Next time.

Next.

Time.

What does he think this is?

‘Louis, I-’

Before I can finish, a little girl with dark brown hair in pigtails wearing a bright Minnie Mouse shirt stands right in front of us, her eyes wide at Louis.

“Hi.” She speaks shyly, her cheeks now turning this flushed pink that makes her look very adorable.

Louis finally notices her, smiling at her modesty and cuteness.

“Why, hello there.”

She begins swaying her body side to side, looking down at the dark red rugged flooring.

“H-how is your day so far?”

She looks to be around eightish and I kind of hope Louis is kind to her.

I’ve heard and read how he is with fans, and she seems to obviously be one.

But I am proven wrong when he turns his body completely to face her, his face cheery and welcoming.

“It’s very nice. Thank you for asking. How is your day?”

She glances up for a second, immediately looking down again once she notices how close he is to her.

“Fine…” She whispers.

I feel myself smile softly at the moment.

“I’m glad. What’s your name, love?”

“My name i-”

“Lucy!”

All three of us quickly turn our attention to a middle aged chubby lady coming towards us, her dark brown eyes the same color and shade as the little girls.

“Mommy, Louis is here. He-”

The woman grabs Lucy’s (the little girl I’m guessing) small hand, Lucy’s now sad eyes going from her mum to Louis.

“You don’t just walk off. I told you to stay at the table.” Her mother scolds.

“But mommy I just wanted to-”

“No.” The lady now begins walking the girl back to wherever their table is.

“He is a rude man, Lucy. He is not just someone you can go up to. Okay?”

My eyes trail down to them as they saunter off until I can no longer hear them.

My eyebrows furrow together, and when I look back in front of me, I see how Louis is now seated correctly again, his attention on his plate of fried rice with his fork moving some of it around, none of it going into his mouth.
I would call his name to get his attention, tell him that the lady is the one that’s rude and is a complete dick head, but I know that won’t really fix anything or if he would even believe me.
Instead I grab one of the napkins and I slide it next to his plate.

His hand stops and he just looks up at me, his face seeming hurt.

“What is it? There’s nothing on it.”

‘Sign your name.’ I mouth.

His own eyebrows furrow together.

“What?”

‘Sign. Your. Name.’ I repeat, but slower and more clearly just in case he actually couldn’t understand me the first time.

He observes me for a while as if to see if I’m serious before finally nodding and grabbing my pen, doing as told.

“Okay, I signed my name. Now wh- what are you doing?”

The napkin he autographed is now in my hand as I get up from my seat.

“Winnie, I-”

I just smirk at him a little, before he nods again and I turn around, continuing my action.
I see Garett from the corner of my eye, looking at me in confusion as well as I begin strolling myself towards the little girl and her mum’s table.

Lucy looks pretty sad, her hand holding her head as her elbow is placed on the table.

“Finish your plate or no dessert.” Her mum warns and I just roll my eyes before finally approaching them, tapping the little girl’s shoulder.

‘Hello.’ I mouth, Lucy’s mother automatically scowling at me.

Whatever. Like I give a fuck.

“Hi. You’re Louis’ friend.” She says, her body sitting up in this sense of alert.

I feel myself stiffen momentarily and I clear my throat, forcing a smile.

‘This is for you.’

I give my hand out to her, and she just stares at the napkin in awe, not questioning my lack of sound.

“What do you think you’re doing. You have no right to give anything to my daughter!”

I ignore the bitch, and end up placing the paper right in front of the girl since she seems too excited to say anything.

I don’t know if the lady is going to throw the paper away or rip it up, but it’s on her
conscience.

“Thank you.” Lucy whispers, grabbing the napkin delicately and rubbing over his name with her small thumbs.

I just nod, before turning around and walking off. The restaurant seems silent now, but I just trick myself into thinking that it’s because everyone is too outstanded by the food or something and not because of my action.

I block out the woman’s many insults and scolds directed towards me, continuing to walk back to the table where Louis is waiting patiently with his eyes directly upon me. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I hope he doesn’t question my motives since I wouldn’t really have a proper answer.

I don’t even know myself.

When I sit back down, I grab my fork and begin eating another spoonful of rice.
I give Louis a thumbs up, telling him that the rice is very delicious and he just continues his observation of me.
Lord.

Now he’s just going to be all awkward the rest of the lunch.

“Yeah. It definitely tastes better than the sushi.”

I stop eating to look at him, he just puts his cup up in the air a little before winking and taking a sip of it.

‘I agree.’

…

After about half an hour later, Louis and I are now standing in front of this place, his arms still crossed since I decided to pay for everything while he went to the loo.

‘You are not seriously mad.’ I mouth as I now cross my arms, shaking my head in disbelief.

“You committed treason.”

‘You got free food.’

“You were the one that was supposed to get free food.”

My arms drop down to my sides before I shrug.

“I’m not gonna shrug back this time.”

I raise an eyebrow before rolling my eyes.

I didn’t mean for him to shrug back anyway.

It’s not like its a thing we do.

I just shrug.

Like a normal person.

“Next time, I’m buying. No exceptions.”

I feel my body do that freezing thing it does when I’m taken completely off guard.

Fuck.

Have I been giving him the wrong idea?

I lean my body against the wall of the restaurant as we continue waiting for Garett to finally
come out.

Let’s just say that the egg rolls didn’t really agree with him.

I take a deep breath and I close my eyes for a brief second.

“What is it?” Louis asks, his arms uncrossing and his hands shoving themselves in his pockets as he leans his body on the wall as well.

‘Louis-’

I stop myself from saying anything further before I slip my hand into the pocket of my jacket, sliding out his lighter.

My thumb goes over Ironman’s face before I hand it out to him.

‘Your lighter.’ My lips form.

I should’ve grabbed some napkins from the place.

Damn it.

His eyes go to my hand for a few seconds before he snatches it and puts it in his own pocket.

He smirks.

“Thanks. Have missed this thing.”

I just swallow hard before sighing in relief.

The air is sort of breezy, the winds seeming as if they are playing with the tree’s leaves like
an older sister does to her younger sibling’s hair. It amuses me how people take nature so much for granted when they help us in so many ways and are the most heavenly things in life. It’s like nature plays the good memories many people have right before them to remind them of bliss and joy like dancing in the rain (grass blades blowing along with the storm), finding a dress that makes you feel beautiful (a rainbow appearing right after hasty weather), having a celebration with the people you care about (the stars in the sky), when two people fall in love with each other for the first time (a lunar eclipse), and just so many things.
I hear a chuckle beside me and I soon realize that I’m smiling wide like a fool at my own thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” He questions, looking sincerely interested when I turn to him.
I shrug and he chuckles again.

“Still not shrugging.”
I roll my eyes again before sticking my tongue out, him mirroring my action as well.
We both laugh a little more before we both just take deep breaths.

“But seriously. I saw you were looking at the trees. Anything special about them?”
I glance at the trees briefly.

‘Yeah. Many things.’

“Tell me.”

I begin to laugh awkwardly.
I don’t want to get into a deep conversation about this, especially since it would take me too long and also the fact that I shouldn’t be talking to him this much.

And I especially shouldn’t be liking it.

‘It would take too long.’ I mouth.

He snorts.

“I don’t think Garett’s gonna be out anytime soon.”

‘You won’t understand me.’

“I’m understanding you perfectly right now. Try me.”

Fuck.

God, has anyone ever even told him what a non friendship is supposed to be?

‘I can’t do this.’

He raises his eyebrows and crosses one of his legs over the other, his arms crossed again.

“I won’t bite. Look, if anything maybe you can just text me or something about it later. I do kind of like the silence anyway.”

Fuck.

Major fucking fuck.

I shouldn’t have agreed to this.
I should’ve just handed him the stupid lighter at the ward.
I should’ve stood my ground.

“Winnie?”

‘I’m not going to give you my number.’ I immediately mouth, hoping he finally catches on.
His eyes widen a little, and now he looks taken off guard.

“What? I don’t-”

‘Why are you even trusting me with your number anyway? You just met me. I might sell it or put it on twitter or something or-’

Louis stands himself up correctly, turning how body in my direction.

“Woah. Slow down. You’re speaking too fast for me. I didn’t catch some things.”

He looks a little bit guilty after he speaks, pushing his hair back again.

“Just speak a little slower if you can. Please.” He adds politely and I nod.

‘We are not friends, Louis.’

He tilts his head to the side slightly in confusion and I just want to run away to my house with my awaiting Elvis and fruit punch popsicles. But no.

That would make life too easy.

“Um okay. Acquaintances. Whatever. I just am still lost about the number thing.”
Can he stop.
He’s just making things worse.
I shake my head.

‘I’m not giving you my number.’

He forces an uncomfortable chuckle, obviously trying not to seem fazed by anything.

“Um why not?”

‘I just can’t.’

I’m not even a great friend to have anyway.

I’m still unsure of the reason why he even wanted to do this lunch in the first place.

He steps closer to me and now leans his body again, but to the side.

“Look, if you don’t have a phone, it’s alright with me. I me-”

‘I have a phone.’

He does the hair thing again.

The winds are very well….windy today.

“So why won’t you give me your number, I don’-”

I feel myself huff and before he can finish, I just stomp myself away from him, feeling very frustrated.

“Winnie…”

I turn around and walk up to him.

‘If you want to contact me so bad, write me a fucking letter or something, alright?! You just need to fucking deal with it! Accept it!’

I doubt he even got anything I just mouthed to him, but by the way he just narrows his eyes, I feel that maybe he did.

I’m a fucking shit head sometimes.

“I want to be friends with you. I want to get to know you. That’s all.”

The thing that killed me the most about that sentence is how calmly he said it. I expected him to just explode on me, but he just did the complete opposite, proving me wrong for the second time today.

‘That’s a great misfortune you have.’ I mouth, my breathing heavy and my emotions all jumbled the fuck up.

He shrugs and I don’t shrug back.

“I’m going to go check on Garett.”

…

The car ride back was quiet.

Louis sat in the passenger seat, not muttering a word, his headphones in his ears.
Garett would make some comments from time to time about how shitty the traffic is and I just sort of stared out the window, counting down to the amount of blocks I had remaining until I finally reached home base.

When I finally made it back, I didn’t really expect a goodbye or anything until I heard Louis thank me for giving back his lighter.

He looked at me for my response and I told him how he shouldn’t thank me since I did steal it, that I should be the one thanking him for not freaking out about it and Garett laughed while Louis just shrugged.

I shrugged back before closing the car door and waving a ‘so long’ to Garett.
Maybe shrugging is our thing.
No.
It isn’t.
Or should I say wasn’t.
I saw Gene’s car parked in the driveway and I already knew how she probably had been already planning to tell my mother about my rebellious lunch.
I just kind of ignored her as routine when I entered, seeing her reading some magazine as she remained lying on the couch near the front of the house.
We had a brief conversation about her future plans for today that pretty much went like this:

Gene: “So you saw Coop today huh?”
Me: ‘No.’
Gene: “Yeah right. Mum’s gonna be so pissed when she finds out.”
Me: ‘Alright.’

And that was really it until I just said hi to Sylvia and went up to my room, closing the door and taking off my shoes before jumping into my bed and wondering if Elvis and I would have a ‘shrugging’ thing if he were alive and realizing that he probably would still be living in America if he was and wouldn’t even know I existed. So I just shrugged at that and then cursed at myself for doing such a thing before closing my eyes and dreaming about Thor coming into my room and giving me his hammer (which was probably the second best thing that happened that day).

No.

I meant first.

First of course.

The best thing had nothing to do with Louis.

Nope.

When I woke up the next day, it was six as always and I went to my nightstand, thinking my phone was there and that I had texts from Izzy telling me to lick a pole or something or texts from Coop explaining how his boyfriend would look hot with a lip piercing.

But my hand ended up reaching and grabbing nothing.

As always.

My mum scolded me of course, asking me where I’d been yesterday after therapy and I thought I was going to be toast until Sylvia lied and told her how I went grocery shopping with her because she didn’t want me to be in the house alone. Gene was still asleep by the time of this conversation, so she could not butt in again.

My mum seemed quite skeptical at first, but brushed the situation off, telling me how I still needed to come home right after therapy anyway.

I agreed and just said goodbye to my parents before they went off to work again.
Apparently we’re going to have a family game night later on today and I am definitely not excited for that.

When I went to the ward, I felt kind of shaky, but Sylvia went along with me and remained seated on the bench beside me.

I was just playing with the pockets of my hoodie as she kept on whispering to me how the attractive blue eyed boy was looking at me and I never looked back at him.

Dr. Kanwell went through the same routine again, but this time I actually stayed the whole time and I didn’t ask her why she enjoys deluding herself into thinking that she can actually help me. But instead I asked her why she always does the same thing again and again.
She remained quiet at that and just told me how it’s a method that has helped her throughout the years.

I just nodded and she just cleared her throat before continuing on again.
Sylvia did in fact drive me home and now I’m back in my room, cutting out pictures from Gene’s old magazines that she has finished reading and making a collage with them. It’s not really fun, but it’s better than nothing.

Since I don’t have my phone, I don’t have music, so Sylvia handed me this old CD player she’s had for a few years now and lent me some of her CD’s that she owns.
Right now I’m listening to this lady singing something in Russian that I’m guessing is sad since violins and a piano are playing in the background at a slow tempo.

“Winnie.”

I hear my door open and take off one of the giant headphones as I see Sylvia walk in.

‘Sylvia.’ I mouth before smiling.

She’s holding three envelopes in her hand, her hair in a tight bun that has a few hairs sticking out.
Those sneaky bastards.

“Winnie. Here is your mail.”

Her strong accent makes it sound as if she said:

‘Wineee. Heeya is jor meal’

and I find that pleasant for some reason.

I nod my head in thanks as I grab them from her hands.

“Do you like the music?”

I look up from the envelopes and I smile brightly.

‘I do. Who is the name of this singer?’

She leans her body down and I place one of the headphones on her ears.

“Oh. Her name is Zhanna Friske. Very good.”

I nod.

‘I like it.’

She smiles and kisses the top of my head before walking back to my door.

“I’m going to be downstairs. Would you like water or a snack?”
I shake my head and she smiles one last time before leaving and closing my door.
Sylvia is a real gem, I’ll tell you what.
I look over my mail and my eyes scroll through the names on the back.
The pink envelope is from Victoria’s Secret, probably still trying to get me to buy their lace string.
Yup.
Nope.
I throw that one to the side, reading the white one.
It’s from my dentist.
I’ll call them later.
The last one is also white, having the name of some hotel on the corner.
Okay?
Maybe I won some free night stay or something.
I quickly open it, unfolding the creme colored paper.
As my eyes skim over the blue inked writing, I feel that freezing feeling once again.

‘You left your pen.

~Louis’

Notes