Change Me
Chapter 9
Elena was sat in her dorm thinking of tonight's happenings. Yes - she loved Chase. They had been going out for almost 3 years. Yet, when she was with him she couldn't help but feel empty, like there was something missing. There was no doubt in her mind that he loved her too, everyone said that they were perfect for each other, they were the same person but that's what Elena hated. She wanted something different - she wanted a challenge. That's what drew her to Harry.
Elena's mind then travelled to the curly-haired boy. His chocolate curls that cascaded over his imperfect features, wisping out in different directions as it was pushed up - out of his eyes. His thick eyelashes framed his forest-green eyes, eyes that you could get lost in. His broad nose that flared out when he was frustrated or angry. His curved lips, pink and plump, those oh-so-kissable lips. Elena had kissed Harry, many times in fact and those moments - even if incredibly brief - were the most exhilarating moments of her life. His kisses were rough and slopping but at the same time, passionate and precise. Like every kiss was designed to kill the receiver, make them melt into a pool of sheer bliss.
Harry had shared his kisses with almost every girl on campus, most of the time, if not more than just 'kisses'. This angered Elena, made her feel used and unwanted but also jealous and upset. She shouldn't be jealous, she had Chase. She also had to constantly remind herself of her love for Chase when she thought about Harry.
Harry had a strange effect on the blonde - he made her feel alive. Elena craved for the feeling she had with Harry but to have it with Chase. The more time she spent with Chase made her realise that she didn't have those feelings with him, and never would.
The more time she spent away from Harry, the more she found herself wanting his presence.
Without noticing, Elena found herself at Harry's door. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. She was too lost in thought to realise that she had walked all the way over here.
She quietly knocked on his door, her knocks growing louder as her patience wore thin. After about 2 minutes of knocking the door flew open to reveal a half-asleep Harry. He was naked apart for his black Calvin Klein boxers that hung lowly on his hips, showing off his toned abs and prominent v-lines.
Automatically, Elena's eyes travelled down the length of his body, scanning every inch of bare skin. Her eyes raked over his chest and forearms with we're heavily scattered with tattoos, down to his ever-lasting torso. Wisps of hair trailed down from his belly-button to the hem of his boxers, leaving much to be desired.
Harry coughed when Elena had been staring at him for a good 3 minutes and her eyes immediately darted up to meet his, a deep shade of crimson was now washed over her cheeks.
"Is there something you wanted?" Harry asked, his voice low and gravelled. Elena could tell she had woken him up but she didn't regret it after seeing him like this. His eyelashes fluttered as he struggles to keep his eyes open. His features had a somewhat child-like demeanour, giving him an innocent look. His curls were strewn across his face, rather than pushed up like he usually had them. Harry rolled his eyes and began to shut the door as Elena began to stare again. She snapped out of her gaze and grabbed hold of the door.
"I-I... Sorry." She stuttered, looking up at Harry.
"Sorry for what?" He asks, leaning against the doorframe. It took everything Elena had not to let her gaze fall down to his exposed chest.
"For waking you up," Elena murmurs and Harry's expression drops. He thought she was here to apologise for blaming him for threatening Chase. Elena soon picks up on this. "and for blaming you for threatening Chase." She looks up and he lazily grins.
"Thank you, but you could have apologised tomorrow. It's almost 2 in the morning." He chuckles, followed by a yawn.
"I didn't even realise I came." She admits, looking up at the ceiling.
"So you were dreaming about me?" He smirks, his leans body still resting on the doorframe.
"No," Elena spits, "I just felt guilty."
"Well you should have known I wouldn't have done such a thing." Harry teases, he could see Elena getting more wound up but the second.
"Aren't you going to apologize to me?" She asks in disbelief.
"Why would I?" He shrugs, his gaze locking with hers.
"You're intolerable." She growls, turning on her heel.
"And that's why you show up at my door at 2 in the morning, apologising to me. Also, I forgot to mention the fact that you were thinking about me and you were staring at me for a good 5 minutes before I interrupted you-"
"Well it’s not my fault you answer the door practically naked!" She hisses, her voice rising.
"You're right, it's that brunettes fault. What was her name? Emma?" Harry asks, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Ella." She spits through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, she was incredibly desperate. Ripped the buttons right off my shirt." He bites his lip, stifling a laugh.
"You're such a manwhore." Elena practically shouts. Harry grabs her, pulling her in close and placing his hand over her mouth.
"Shhh, princess. We wouldn't want your boyfriend coming out here to see you with me whilst I'm only in my boxers now, would we?" Harry smirks and Elena pushes him away.
"I can't fucking stand you. You think you can treat people like shit and get away with it, well guess what? You can't . You ever think that there's a reason you don't have any friends here? It's because you’re an absolute dick, Harry and people can't stand to be around you. I know people like you and they end up alone with no one, just like you. Leave me the fuck alone, I hate you." She spits, her voice barely a whisper. Harry's features drop. He felt like he had just been shot through the chest, her words hurting more than they should. He walks over to her, pushing her against the wall, his head lowering to her height and his eyes locked on hers.
"You don't know shit about me." He growls, pushing himself off the wall and storming into his room, slamming the door.
Elena found herself with her mouth wide open, shocked by Harry's sudden outburst. She hadn't meant to offend him; she was just annoyed and jealous when Harry brought up Ella. It made Elena felt sick through her stomach thinking about Harry with someone else but now Harry hated her and he had every right to. Elena debated knocking on his door and apologising but she decided to leave it and wait until tomorrow when Harry would have hopefully calmed down.
***
Harry didn't set his school alarm, he didn't plan on going. He wasn't in the mood and he couldn't stand to see the bitch of a blonde who would be waiting for him. Rolling over, he pulled his pillow over his head, trying to get to sleep. He glanced over at his alarm; 11:34. Hesitantly, he gets up, stripping down and climbing into the shower, cleaning himself of last night’s events.
He needed to get away from everything. He was homesick. His missed his friends, his sister, his mum, his house, he missed everything.
Harry quickly got dressed into his black skinny jeans; band t-shirt and beanie before slipping on his converse and a jacket and heading out. He fumbled in his pocket, pulling out his iPod and shoving his headphones in. Pink Floyd blasted into his ear and he hummed along with the tune as he walked around the schools grounds, into the forest at the edge of the field.
***
Elena was called to the office, she was oblivious as to why but obliged anyway. She got there and was sent to Mrs. Greene's office. Knocking on the door, she heard someone call for her to come in and she did so.
"You asked for me, Mrs. Greene?" Elena asks politely, standing far away from the woman.
"Ah, yes. Elena, do you know the whereabouts of Mr. Styles?" She asks, looking up from her desk.
"Is he not in school?" Elena sounded surprised, her voice laced with worry.
"No, he is not. We have also checked in his dorm and he's not there either. I told you that you were responsible for him, he needs to be found, Elena." She sorts the papers on her desk as Elena takes in the information she had been given, Harry was missing and it was her fault.
"Y-Yes, miss." Elena stutters, walking out of the room and shutting the door. She found herself jogging out of school, looking around the library and P.E. storeroom. We checked all around school and the boy’s dorm. She even checked the girl’s dorm because to be fair, Harry spent a lot of time there as well.
"Harry?" Elena called, walking around the campus. She looked around the field, making her way towards the forest. The forest lead to a river and on the otherwise of the river was another forest, so if Harry had gotten that far then it was going to take a while to find him.
She trudged through the forest, dodging low-hanging branches and thick roots. Moss was draped over every surface and each footstep she made left a crackle in the almost-silent wood.
"Harry?" She called out again, her voice quietening as she dove deeper into the forest.
SNAP!
Elena's head darted around to the origin of the sound. "Harry?!" She whispers, creeping towards the noise. "Har-" She was cut off by someone's hand over her mouth. She clawed at the hands, elbowing the stranger in the chest and screaming as loud as she could. He screams were muffled by the large hand that was clasped over her face. Suddenly a loud laugh can be heard from behind her and the stranger loosens his grip so that she could push away. Turning around, she sees Harry doubled over, laughing.
"What the fuck were you thinking!? I thought I was being murdered, you heartless bastard!" Elena screams which Harry finds incredibly amusing as he laughs more. "Well I'm glad someone found it funny." Elena huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. She had never seen Harry laugh, or even smile. It was constantly that smug smirk on his face, it was nice to see him happy. After a few moments of Harry laughing so much that he was in tears, he wipes his eyes and straightens up.
"Why are you even here?" He asks, turning around and hopping over a tree root, Elena swiftly following.
"To find you." She says, trying to keep up with Harry's pace.
"Well, you found me." He smirks, stopping when they got to the river and sitting on a rock on the banking.
"No shit." Elena huffs, sitting next to him and he chuckles. "I'm really sorry." She murmurs, looking at the river.
"What for?" Harry asks obliviously, throwing pebbles into the flowing currents.
"For everything I said last night, I didn't mean it." Elena looks up at Harry, his gaze locked on the water.
"You did mean it, Elena. You meant every word of it." Harry murmurs, his head turning to hers, their eyes locking.
"I only said it because I was annoyed when you started talking about Ella." Elena admits, then realising what she said, she looks away from Harry, her cheeks reddening.
"Elena Miller was jealous?" Harry fake gasps and Elena rolls her eyes.
"No." She mutters, keeping her eyes locked onto the river.
"Don't lie to me." Harry teases, taking her chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head towards him.
"Yes, I was jealous." She mumbles, and he grins.
"But don't you have a boyfriend? And aren't I an 'absolute dick'?" He smirks, using the words Elena used last night whilst calling him.
"Yes, which is why I don't know why I was jealous." Elena chuckles and Harry rolls his eyes, his lips forming a grin. Elena pulls out of his grip on her chin. "So are we okay now?" She asks and Harry nods.
"Until the next time we argue - which I'm sure will be in the very near future." He smirks and Elena giggles.
"Probably. We fight a lot." She agrees, taking a few pebbles out of Harry's hand and throwing them into the river, one by one. Harry nods again, his eyes focused on Elena's face, hers focused on the river. "We're so different, I guess." She turns to look at him.
"Well, they say opposites attract." He winks and she playfully pushes him. She shakes her head, giggling.
"I like you when you're like this." She smiles and Harry looks at her with a puzzled expression.
"Like what?" He asks, intrigued to see what the blonde meant.
"When you're you. You're not shutting me out like you normally do." She hums, looking up at Harry.
"I shut everyone out. Don't take it personally, it's just easier." Harry murmurs, he could feel his walls building back up, twice as high. Elena just nods, not wanting to pry into his personal life. They'd just become civil, she didn’t want all that to go to waste. "What? You're not going to ask why? Not going to try and find out all of my deepest secrets?" Harry chuckles, sadness was evident in his tone as his voice cracked towards the end.
"If you wanted to tell me, you would. I'm not going to force it out of you. Whenever you're ready to tell me, I'll be here. If that's a couple of days, weeks, months, years, so be it." She gives out a small smile, reassuring him.
Harry suddenly felt at awe with the girl in front of him. In a matter of hours he had gone from hating the blonde to being completely speechless in her presence. When he was around Elena, he could feel his walls crumbling. Their thick barricades tumbled down, one by one, leaving a gaping hole in his defences, his heart completely open for the taking and that's what she was slowly doing.
"No offence, Harry," Elena spoke, waking him from his daydream. "but why did you have so many friends if you're so closed off with everyone?" She asks, quizzically.
"Wow, totally not offended." Harry chuckles and she rolls her eyes. "What makes you think I had lots of friends?" He asks, eyebrows raised.
"You just seem like 'that' kind of guy." She hums.
"I was 'that' guy. I guess I just pretended to be someone I'm not, to impress people. Society has an image of what the perfect boy and girl are and I guess I was just trying to fit that mould. I wanted everyone to like me so I changed everything about myself so people wouldn't think I was as insecure as I am. I've learnt now, though. Even if it has resulted in me flying half way across the world to realise it," He faintly smiles, "no one is perfect. No one will ever be 'perfect' and you shouldn't change yourself to fit society and you definitely shouldn't change yourself to please others. Because the truth is, not everyone is going to like you, but as long as you like yourself, you'll be happy. Happiness is the acceptance of yourself, not the acceptance of others." Harry finishes, looking up at Elena whose lips were parted and her eyes wide. "Sorry, that got way deeper than intended." He jokes, mustering out a faint laugh.
"Don't apologise, Harry." She whispers, breathless from Harry's little speech. "I never thought I'd hear you say something like that." She admits.
"I should just shut up." He half heartidly smiles. Harry hadn't meant to open up to Elena like that, he just felt comfortable around her, too comfortable even. "Just forget I said anything."
"For the record, I like this Harry a lot more than the other Harry." She smiles, placing her hand over his. He looks down at their hands and quickly moves his away.
"Yeah well, don't get used to it." He murmurs, placing his hand over his own, mimicking Elena's actions.
"You like The Smiths?" Elena muses, looking at Harry's worn out t-shirt. Harry was thankful for her changing the subject.
"Yeah, do you?" He asks, surprized.
"Love them. Asleep is probably my favourite song though." She grins.
"Me and my dad used to listen to them and discuss all the different possibilities that the lyrics meant." He says, his voice quietening towards the end. Why was he telling her such personal memories, he had opened up to her within the past hour than he had to anyone in years.
"Used to?" She asks and Harry remains silent, Elena taking the hint. "Chase is a dick." Elena states, again changing the subject quickly. Harry lets out a breath, relieved. She was so easy to be with, she didn't pry unless needed and Harry was thankful for that.
"You've only just figured that out? And you've been with him, how long?" Harry grins and Elena looks over at him, smirking.
"Almost 3 years." She murmurs and Harry's eyes widen.
"Holy shit." Harry whistles, and Elena chuckles.
"Yup," She nods, biting her lip. "it has it's perks though."
"What? A shag every now and again." Harry jokes and Elena stiffens up, Harry swiftly catching on. "Wait... You've never had sex?" Harry eyes widen and Elena buries her head in her hands.
"Shut up." She mumbles through her hands.
"Tell me you've at least done something?" Harry bites his lip, stifling a laugh. Elena's head shakes, giving him an answer. "Not even a hand job?" Harry asks and she groans.
"Shut up." She repeats and Harry pulls her in close. Elena was shocked by his gesture but she buried herself deeper into his side anyway, Harry's scent filling her nose.
"Don't be embarrassed, I think it's hot." He reassures her.
"No, you think it's stupid." She lifts her head up from her hands, looking Harry in the eyes.
"Actually, I think knowing you're a girls first time is a big turn on. The fact that you're going to be the first one inside her is incredibly hot." Harry muses and Elena' cheeks redden.
"Whatever." She mutters, digging her head into his side again.
"That fact that you've not done anything at all is very cute." He chuckles and Elena punches him in the chest lightly. "I don't know how he's gone nearly 3 years without touching you though. I was here a few days and had you against a wall." He smirks and Elena groans from his side, resulting in Harry laughing.
He stands up, leaving Elena sat on the rock, looking up at him like a lost puppy. He holds a hand out for her to hold and she takes it immediately, pulling herself up. "C'mon, princess. Let's get you back." He grins and she rolls her eyes, entwining her fingers with his as she set off walking.
As they walked hand-in-hand, Harry looked down at their linked fingers. Harry had never been this close to anyone before and he liked it. That was the problem, he couldn't like it. He had to distance himself from the blonde, but not today. Today he could enjoy it, savour the moments he had with the girl who was slowly, but surely, breaking down the confines around his heart.
9/19/13