Catching Red Eyes

If my emotions were dead, every single one of them was instantly alive now. Our eyes locked and I staggered backwards. I lost my footing on the blanket still wrapped around me and tripped backwards. Thankfully, I grabbed ahold of the kitchen counter before I smashed my head on the floor. I then was frozen as we stood staring at each other. My brain was trying to comprehend everything and I felt sick. Laurie quickly moved to open the sliding glass door and proceeded to scream at Harry. She was standing between him and me.

“What the fuck, dude?! This is private property, I am seriously about to call the cops and tell them you are trespassing. What the fuck are you even doing here and how did you find this place?? Row, did you call him or something?” She asked swinging around and looked at me.

“Me?? I don’t even have a phone!” I yelled at her.

“Shit, yea that’s right,” she turned her attention back to Harry. “So, what the hell?”

“GPS tracking,” he said. Laurie and I exchanged looks and I shook my head. I had no idea what or where this GPS tracking was.

“Marsh’s SUV,” said Harry, realizing his world was not normal for us. “It’s all in this app.”

I felt like laughing but instead shook my head, turned around and disappear somewhere in the house. I had no idea where I was going but I started up the stairs and went into the first bedroom I found, turned and closed the door and locked it. I heard Harry behind me but I was not letting him get to me. I knew he was on the other side but I refused to unlock the door.

“Rowan…please…let me explain.” His voice was small and sad but I wouldn’t budge.
I didn’t say a word as I heard a small thump on the door and assumed he had sat down on the floor on the other side. I did the same and sat down on my side.

“Love…please….”

I was instantly heated. I jumped up and swung open the door. “Do. Not. Call. Me. That.” Harry’s face dropped but he took the initiative and held open the door but didn’t take a step inside. I felt that I had a force field around myself and Harry couldn’t penetrate it.

“Rowan, please. I just need to explain.”

My back was to him as I walked over to the window. I wrapped my arms around myself and continued staring out the window and didn’t say anything. A part of me did want to hear what he had to say but I was so scared at the same time.

“Lo-Rowan…I cannot imagine what you are thinking about me right now but you have to believe me that I am so incredibly and desperately sorry for all this…”

What. Was Harry justifying this entire story? Yes, my first gut reaction believed the story but my conscious also said it’s all fake and the pictures were photo shopped but now I didn’t know what to believe. I let out a scoff and turned around to face him. If looks could kill, he would be dust.

“Excuse me? You want to apologize for all this? So, you are telling me that all this true…she went to your concert, saw your show, then went to your hotel room, and the morning after, she came out with your shirt on? It’s all true? Did you fuck her? Answer that. Depending on what your answer it, then we might be able to salvage something. Maybe.”

Harry’s eyes clouded and he looked down. He opened his mouth then closed it again.

“No.” He finally said, locking eyes with me.

Whatever heaviness I had been feeling the past few days, was lighted a little. I didn’t soften my stance or tone towards him even with the answer.

“Rowan…we all had a lot to drink that night. She had gotten tickets to the concert and just showed up. I honestly had no idea she was even going to be there. Then she invited herself back to the hotel, ended up passing out completely drunk in the hotel. The only reason she had my shirt on was because she had thrown up on hers. They all passed out in my room. I ended up staying in a completely separate hotel room from them.”

The story made a little sense but why hadn’t he called me and told me this?

“Why…why did I have to find out from…from the stupid internet about all this? Why didn’t you call or text me the entire weekend?”

The tears were evident in both our eyes now. God, I hated him right now but I loved him so much more. I wanted to be angry with him so badly but I knew the love I had for him would eventually take over. I wasn’t willing to admit that yet. He needed to see the pain he has caused me first.

“I know…I should have and I tried but it kept going to right to voicemail. I was so out of sort and I needed to just come here and fix this.”

I looked away remembering my phone disaster from the other day. I didn’t want to continue this conversation anymore. My head hurt.

“I’m tired. I need to get some sleep. Please, just go.”

I walked towards Harry and waited for him to move his body away from the door frame. I didn’t care where he was going or if he was staying, I just needed him to go away right now. I walked back over to the window and sat on the bench and stared out into the dark night trying to figure out what just happened.

Notes