A Month In Sin

The first date was… different. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that we are married made it different, but it was a good kind of different. The kind where everything that happened that night replays in your head for days.

As we retreated to our room that night, he kissed my cheek. As much as we want to just take off our rings and forget we are married… we can’t.

Elys’s text ringed in my brain, as it was the next morning and I still haven’t responded to him.

How am I holding up?

It’s a simple question, really, but I knew Elys. He wasn’t just catching up and he didn’t want some bullshit answer like I’m fine because to be completely honest, I’m not fine.

I pulled my phone out and brought up his messages.

We went on a date yesterday and it felt different. It was a good different though. I haven’t been able to stop replaying it in my head. I’m scared, Elys. What if I get attached and want to continue this, but he doesn’t feel the same way?

My finger hovered over the send button, but I eventually hit it. I hadn’t moved from the position I woke up in all morning. My legs were stiff, and as comfortable as this bed was, my back hurt. I got up to use the restroom and what I saw in the mirror made me cringe.

No, I didn’t think I was ugly. It was just an… unusual sight. My hair was crazy with pieces of it falling everywhere from the loose bun I had put it in the night before.

I did my business before fixing my hair and putting a baggy sweatshirt on so I didn’t have to put a bra on. Gross? Probably. Did I care? No, not really.

If Niall couldn’t handle me right now when I really didn’t give a crap what I looked like, then he didn’t deserve when I did give a crap.

I slipped on socks and slippers, since Niall’s hardwood floors were cold and slick.

“Well, mornin’, darlin’,” Niall said as I made an appearance in the kitchen.

“Morning. What time is it?” I asked.

“Um. About 10:30,” he said, making me nod.

I hadn’t realized I had been laying there for three hours.

“You okay?” he asked, taking note of my not caring attitude today.

I just shrugged in response, grabbed a banana and yogurt, before going back into the living room and turning on the television. I settled on Netflix and turned on a show I have seen way too many times- One Tree Hill. Did I have a problem? Eh. Borderline. Can I quote almost the entire show? Yeah, definitely.

I was just getting into the part where Peyton is struggling with the reasoning of why she moved back to Tree Hill when Niall plopped down beside me, making me jump.

“Whatcha watchin’?”

“A TV show called One Tree Hill. Definitely a chick flick rolled into the best nine seasons,” I said, making him chuckle as he nodded.

We just sat there with his arm resting on the back of the couch, watching it. I had put it back on Season 1, Episode 1 when he came in.

“What’s a raven?” Hayley asked Lucas as they walked after a flock of birds attacked her.

“An unkindness,” I said at the same time as Lucas, making Niall look at me with raised eyebrows.

As we sat there, we binge-watched about five episodes of the first season before switching it to movies. I sat there, not really paying attention to the movie that was on. It was some superhero movie that I had watched with Eris before. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the fact that we could just sit here in complete silence and be just fine. If I was at home right now, I would still be watching One Tree Hill or maybe I would be stalking Twitter and Instagram for recent photos of the boys. It’s what I did when I was in this type of mood, although I really didn’t have many of them.

Today didn’t seem like the past ones though, maybe because everything had changed so much in the past few days. All it took was one night. One night of letting loose and having fun, and it changed my life and the worst part was the fact that I didn’t know if it was a good change or one that could end up with my heart getting crushed.

As much of a control freak I was, I fall too hard and too quickly. I overthought every single thing, and hated that I didn’t know what others were thinking.

You don’t ever know what others are thinking though, because no one is mind readers and there is always sometimes where things are left better unsaid.

I didn’t realize that Niall had shut the movie off and had been staring at me. I didn’t even know how long he had been there, being too lost in my own thoughts.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, darlin’?” he asked.

“Everything,” I admitted.

“It’s still early. Call her,” he said, handing me my phone that had been previously sitting on the coffee table.

“She won’t answer. I know exactly what they are doing,” I said, making him nod as he let out a light chuckle.

“You want to?” he said, making me crack a smile and hit him gently as we both let out a light laugh.

“Sorry, babe. I have waited almost twenty-one years. Only alcohol is gonna make me do that unless this crazy world becomes ours.”

He laughed with a goofy grin on his face.

“If we do work out, imagine our kids asking how we met. Oh God, what if they do the same thing?” he asked, making me laugh.

This felt… easy. Almost too easy.

“Oh. I forgot to tell you. The guys are wanting to go celebrate Cheryl’s pregnancy tomorrow. Guys night. That okay?”

“Absolutely not. I am your wife and you are not going to get drunk with boys and hook up with some other girl,” I said with a complete straight face.

Niall immediately grew shocked, making me break into a fit of giggles.

“I’m kidding! Oh my gosh! You thought I was serious? Eris isn’t the only one with a sense of humor, Niall,” I said, nudging him softly.

He smiled and shook his head.

“No, but seriously, I've always said that I would do things the same way my parents do. They always ask permission as a courtesy because neither are gonna actually say no unless prior plans had already been made,” I said, making him nod.

“So, what day are we leaving for Ireland?”

“Um. Today is the 18th, right? I usually head out on the 23rd and come back the 2nd. We can come back whenever you want though. I’m not really sure if that’s cheating to be with my family for ten days instead of just us,” he said.

“You have had this planned for months. I’m not going to make you change your plans,” I said.

“Good, because Greg has something as a date with Denise on the 29th and had asked me to watch Theo,” he said.

“Alright. We should go explore London tomorrow,” I said.

“We already have…” he said.

“We explored the touristy London. I want to see the Irishman’s London,” I said, nudging him.

What I saw in his eyes made me smile, maybe because I didn’t want to see the parts of London that everyone else saw. I wanted to see the parts of London that made him so attached to it. I wanted to see his London.

Notes

Hello everyone! xXFluffy_GruXx here!
We got a new vote and comment, and since this chapter was finished, my sister edited it so I could upload it.
The description is from Paris by The Chainsmokers.