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My Best Friend's Sister

Confessions

Luke's POV
We stopped by this neat fro-yo shop. After we ordered what we wanted, we sat outside at a picnic table with an umbrella covering us from the sun.

"Okay, can I confess something to you?" I asked her as we both swapped back and forth our frozen yogurt.

"Yeah, what is it Luke?" Vanessa said her eyes sparkling in the sun.

"I never went through your panties," I said. I didn't and I won't. I want that to be a surprise for me.

"So that was the lie?" She asked and I simply just nodded. "I knew it." I smiled and ate some more of her cheesecake flavored yogurt.

"You still have to go," I say and she sighed and rolled her eyes..

"Okay, but its not going to be anything dirty," She pointed her spoon at me.

"Fine," I said giving in.

"Cal and I hooked up, Mikey and I hooked up, and I'm a virgin," She said.

"You're not a virgin," I said.

"How'd you know?" She said said twirling the spoon in her mouth.

"Can and Mikey told me," and that's not a lie.

"What they say?" Vanessa asked. Her eyes shined with curiosity.

"They said that you're the best they ever had," I said remembering all the details they told me and getting visuals. Nope, don't do it. Not now anyways.

"Yeah, cause you know," she flipped her hair and hair. "I'm just that good."

I laughed. "So I'm guess that music runs through the family?"

"Well, Ash and I got into by our grandpa," Vanessa said as she took a bite. "He was a rock god in our eyes. He was a real badass and I guess that's who we got it from," she laughed lightly.

"What happened? To your grandpa I mean," She's opening up to me now. Her wall is coming apart. Brick by brick.

"He died 3 years ago from ALS," she said looking down in her yogurt swirling her spoon around.

"I'm so sorry," I said apologizing. She wiped away a stray tear.

"Its fine. You had no clue," she said. I came over to her side and wrapped my hand around her, pulling her into my side. I saw her smile.

"Excuse us," I heard an femine elderly voice coming from behind us and Vanessa and I looked up at the couple who were standing in front of us. "You two are such a cute couple," the woman said.

"Oh no, we're no-" Vanessa began to protest but I slipped a hand under her shirt touching her bare skin. I saw her blush from the corner of my eye. I smiled as she hid her face in my shirt.

"You remind us the memories when we were younger," The elderly man said.

"True, young love," the woman said then they walked off before Vanessa slapped me on the arm.

"What?" I said laughing and so was she.

"Because those two lovely people think we're a couple!" she said.

"And what's wrong with that?" I asked still laughing and she slapped my arm again.

"Because we're not!" I got serious for second. Should I just go for it? I'm going for it. No procrastinating this time.

"So why aren't we?" She looked puzzled.

" 'Why aren't we' what?" She looked to me to elaborate.

"Why aren't we a couple?" I asked her and she just looked at me with a frozen look on her face.

Notes

Comments

@Calum Netflix and Pizza
Aww, thanks love. I hope I do too. Love you name by the way.

So I just spent 2 and a half hours reading this story. And I love it. Great job ;) I hope you get out of ur writer funk.

@Lucy Hemmings
I really want you to continue your story but you could use a little tweaking. Me personally, I prefer if you space out your paragraphs and dialogue because it just makes it easier to read and it flows better.

Put more details! The more details the better. Try to connect with not only your readers but with your character because you character's are their own people with minds of their owns. Let the words flow through you and on to the keyboard. Details also makes your chapters longer.

Just look over simple punctuation and grammar errors. Also be sure to note who's POV it is at the top of the page if you want to continue switching POV's.

Other than that, you're pretty solid. I'm sorry if I come out mean. I don't mean to be! I promise. But you have so much potential to be a great writer!

Hakuna Matata,
Vannessa

Hi I love this story its really cool, also I have just written my very first fanfic called Why now? Why today? its a Luke Hemmings fanfic and I would love for u to check it out.