All I Ever Wanted

(Leah’s POV)

Eleanor and I took our usual seats off to the side of the stage. It was weird being here again. I felt as though I was supposed to be by Harry’s side. I saw him from a distance while Eleanor and I were catching up with Ronnie. We’d made eye contact, but I was the first to break it. He didn’t look so good. He’d lost weight and there were dark circles under his eyes. I’d seen a few magazines talk about his appearance lately, but I’d never paid any attention - until now. His eyes were an icy green – cold. It almost scared me. He no longer had the warm sparkle in his eyes that showed you the depths of his kindness. Now he looked like a disheveled mess who’d lost it all. I felt terrible. This was all because of me. Part of me ached and wished I’d never met him, so that he wouldn’t have had to go through this. The other part of me wanted to run to him and kiss all the heartbreak away. A cold shiver went through my body and I scolded myself for even coming.

There was about five minutes until show time and Eleanor, Perrie, and I made small talk. If Danielle and Emma were here, I hadn’t seen them. I sighed from relief, and then felt a light buzz coming from my purse. Ryan was calling. I picked up my phone and left my seat to find a quiet spot to talk to him. We’d only been able to send the occasional text, and I couldn’t tell if I missed him, or if it was just because everyone here was coupled up, except for me.

“Hey baby!” He sounded happy to hear from me.

“Hey, how are you?” I smiled into the phone.

“I’m good, just hanging out at the apartment. I miss you! How’s the trip so far?” He didn’t sound too concerned, and that made me grateful.

“I miss you too. It’s great so far. Um, Eleanor and Perrie talked me into coming to the concert tonight, so I’m here, waiting on the show to start.” I admitted, feeling a little guilty.

“Well, I know how much you like their music!” He laughed. “You sound like you’re not enjoying yourself. Let loose! Have fun! Don’t worry about anything, okay? I’ll be waiting for you in four days at the airport!”

He was probably the sweetest boy ever. There I was, at my ex-boyfriend’s show, and my current boyfriend was totally supportive and not worried in the slightest. I cursed at myself. Ryan was the one who truly cared.

“I love you, Leah! Soak up some sun, and hurry back to me! You deserve this vacation, baby.”

With that, we hung up. I didn’t reply with an ‘I love you.’ Just with a ‘thank you.’ It was dumb, but it was the only way I knew how to respond. The music had started, and I knew that meant the boys were about to take the stage. I hurried back to my seat, thankful for Ryan and how much he truly cared for me.

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(Harry’s POV)

I watched her from a distance as Ronnie passed out microphones and ear sets. She drove me crazy. She was talking with Eleanor and Perrie, and I couldn’t help but feel that she belonged there, in that seat, here with the group, here with me. I shook the thought, reminding myself that she wasn’t mine anymore. I took my ear piece from Ronnie and clipped the set onto the back of my trousers. I looked up to gaze at her again, but she was no longer in her seat. I scanned the side stage and spotted her back behind the lighting equipment, on her cell phone.

She’s probably talking to her boyfriend - the guy who loves her and supports her, and kisses her goodnight. The one who calls her his girl, the one who puts that gorgeous smile on her face.

“You alright, mate?” Niall slapped me on the shoulder, breaking me from my trance. I nodded, but didn’t even bother to force a smile.

“Alright boys, you’re on!” Ronnie yelled, and we all ran out on the stage.

Liam belted out the first verse of What Makes You Beautiful and everyone slid into their performance mind set. I danced around, sang, and goofed off with the boys like every other show, as if I was completely fine. It wasn’t until the familiar chords came through the speakers that I looked over at her on the side of the stage. She was sitting, her blonde hair flowing down her shoulders, and I could see her blue eyes sparkling. Since this was a slower song, we were all sitting on stage. I turned to look at Liam, since he was the one who sang the first verse, but instead of singing, the beginning of the song repeated and he leaned in to whisper to me.

“This is all you, Haz. The way you look at her, it’s the way true love looks. Go tell her how you feel.” The other boys could hear him and they all gave me a quick pat on the back. As the beginning of the song played out, I started to sing. As I sang the first verse, I stood and looked at her.

“I’m broken, do you hear me?
I’m blinded, ‘cause you are everything I see,
I’m dancin’ alone, I’m praying,
That your heart will just turn around”

Leah realized what was going on. I could see her cheeks redden, and the way she fumbled with her dress while she tried to avoid eye contact. I keep singing, and walked towards her.

“And as I walk up to your door,
My head turns to face the floor,
‘Cause I can’t look you in the eyes and say”

The other boys joined in and sang backup for the chorus, and sang to the audience while I sang only to Leah.

“When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just won’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this, yeah”

Leah slowly stood from her seat and looked as though she was debating on whether or not to run. I smiled at her, and I saw the terrified expression slowly dissolve from her face.

“When he lays you down,
I might just die inside,
It just don’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this,
Can love you more than this”

I placed my hand over my heart, hoping that she would see that I meant every word that I was singing to her. The music played through to open for the second verse. While it did, I walked over and grabbed her hand, motioning for her to follow me. She looked hesitant, but she followed. I took her to the center of the stage and faced her.

“If I’m louder, would you see me?
Would you lay down
In my arms and rescue me?
‘Cause we are the same
You save me,
When you leave it’s gone again,

And then I see you on the street,
In his arms, I get weak,
My body fails, I’m on my knees,
Prayin’”

The other boys joined in again for the chorus and I reached for her hand, holding it. Tears had begun to fall from her crystal eyes. I wiped them off of her cheek and continued on to the chorus, with tears welling up in my own eyes.

“When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just won’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this, yeah,
When he lays you down,
I might just die inside,
It just don’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this”

I nodded to Zayn to sing his usual part so that I could have a moment with Leah.

[Zayn]
"Yeah, I’ve never had the words to say,
But now I’m askin’ you to stay
For a little while inside my arms,
And as you close your eyes tonight,
I pray that you will see the light,
That’s shining from the stars above,
And I say"

While he sang, I looked to her.

“Leah Sadler, I am so sorry I ever let you walk away from me. I love you with every bit of my being. These past few months without you have been mental – utter hell. I need you in my life. I don’t know who this new guy is or how he treats you or anything. If you honestly love him, and have moved on from what we had, then I’ll leave you alone forever. But, I just had to let you know, that I love you. I will always love you. And I will love you more than he ever could.”

I scanned her face, looking for an answer. I already felt a thousand times better, just putting that out in the open. Leah wiped a stray tear of her cheek before she began.

“Harry, I – I love you. You’re the one. You always have been. No one else could love me more. I haven’t moved on and the past few months have been shit for me too. I love you and I’m not over you.”

She grabbed the nape of my neck and kissed me – the most passionate, desperate, loving, perfect kiss. The audience, the boys, everyone on the side stage, and anyone else who saw what happened was cheering. No one could hear our exchange of words, but they could tell by the kiss that it was good. I draped my arm over her shoulders and intertwined my fingers with hers while Liam continued on with his verse.

[Liam]
“When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just won’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this,"

[Zayn]
“‘Cause I can love you more than this, yeah”

I flashed my biggest grin as I pulled her in close. I picked up on the chorus and continued to sing with the boys as backup.

“When he lays you down,
I might just die inside,
It just don’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this, yeah,

When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just won’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

When he lays you down,
I might just die inside (oh, yeah),
It just don’t feel right,
‘Cause I can love you more than this,
Can love you more than this”

The lights went out and the boys, Eleanor, and Perrie surrounded us immediately, giving hugs and yelling “told you so” and “okay, give me my money. I won the bet.” We laughed and the girls cleared out the stage, but I grabbed Leah’s hand and pulled her back into me for another kiss.

“I love you, Leah.” I spoke.

“I love you, Harry. Thank you for that.” She was blushing again, as she turned to go back to her seat. I watched her walk away. She was beautiful. She was perfect. She was mine.

Notes