All I Ever Wanted

(Eleanor’s POV)

“Hey Danielle, it’s Eleanor. Look, Leah’s going to be in Mexico with us. She’s absolutely against doing anything that may cause her to see Harry, though. I just wanted to let you know that the dinner plan may not work out. I’m sorry! See you soon!”

I left Danielle a voicemail while waiting at a small Mexican airport. I was supposed to meet Leah here, but I checked my watch and noted that I still had around an hour to kill before her plane was scheduled to land. I slid my phone into my pocket and walked over to a window that overlooked the ocean. I sighed, impatiently. I wanted to be on the beach so badly. This vacation from uni was going to be a good one. I just had to figure out how to have fun with all of the people I love without letting Leah and Harry cross paths.

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(Leah’s POV)

I woke from my nap to hear the flight attendant preparing everyone for landing. I was finally in Mexico. I looked out the window to my right to see a miniscule, beachside town. I began to gather my things and slip them back into my carry-on bag as the plane slowly descended.

I walked through the terminal and headed for the baggage claim. I quickly spotted my luggage and then grabbed my phone to ring Eleanor.

“Why hello stranger!” I heard a familiar voice from behind.

“Eleanor!” I turned, squealing. “I have missed you terribly!”

I hugged her neck and we began to walk outside to find a ride to our hotel. We were staying in a city just outside of Veracruz so that we would be ridiculously close to the beach. One Direction was performing in Mexico City tomorrow night, and the night after, so Eleanor was just going to fly there. It would be a very short flight. Louis was meeting us here to spend time with her, and I only hoped he wasn’t bringing any of the other boys, but especially Harry. I hadn’t kept up with any of the boys since Harry and I had split. I talked to Louis some, but that was only because of Eleanor. Being around the boys would undoubtedly make me miss Harry even more than I already did.

We found a ride and made the twenty minute trip out of town. We paid the driver and went to take a look at our home for the next week. It was beyond beautiful. It was a small, but elegant, four story resort. Big clay-like walls were adorned with Mexican décor. Eleanor and I had decided to share a top-floor unit. It was huge. There were four bedrooms, four bathrooms, a fully equipped kitchen, an elegant dining room, a living room, and a huge balcony that overlooked a crystal-blue, lagoon pool. We picked our rooms, unpacked and then met on the balcony with margaritas. We lounged around and watched the sunset over the ocean. The sky was gorgeous and the crashing waves sounded lovely.

We talked about everything – her and Louis’ relationship, my career, her uni, marriage, kids, our families, everything. And then there were only two things left to talk about: my current relationship and my previous relationship. I hadn’t told Eleanor much about Ryan or Harry or how I felt. For all she knew, I was in love with Ryan and had completely forgotten about Harry.

Oh how I wish that was the case.

In fact, no one knew the way I was feeling. I didn’t plan on ever sharing my secret with anyone but I’d had a few too many margaritas and besides, Eleanor was my best friend.

“So, how’s Ryan? You haven’t mentioned him since we’ve been here. Are you still together?” Eleanor looked at me out of curiosity.

“Um, yeah we are.” I fidgeted with the string on my hoodie. “But…” I sighed, causing Eleanor to hand me a new margarita.

“Here, this will help.” She giggled and I joined in.

“I really like Ryan, I do. It’s just…” I trailed off, looking for the right words.

“He’s not Harry.” Eleanor finished my sentence. I looked at her, trying to tell myself she wasn’t right, but it was no use. I took a big gulp of my margarita and leaned back in my chair.

“Ryan’s a good guy, great boyfriend. He really cares for me. He really tries to please me.” I spoke out loud, ignoring her comment while trying to make myself love Ryan. “But he doesn’t ignite that fire inside of me. His kiss doesn’t make me want to scream, and his touch doesn’t send shivers down my spine. So yeah, you’re right. He’s just not Harry.”

“So why don’t you tell Harry that? Why can’t you two be together?”

“I don’t fucking know, El. I keep telling myself it’s because we hurt each other, but by not being together, it’s hurting me more than ever. I don’t know what he’s up to, or how he’s feeling, but I can hardly stand it. The only things keeping me from driving to wherever he is and jumping on top of him are Ryan’s feelings, and my own stupid, stubborn pride.”

I looked out at the ocean.

No matter how many times the shore turns the ocean away, it still comes back to kiss the land again.

My mom’s favorite quote flashed through my mind.

No matter how many times I try to avoid my feelings for Harry, I can’t run from them. They’ll keep coming back each time.

I drank more margarita, and shoved the thoughts out of my head. Eleanor could sense the tension, so she changed the subject. I tried to focus on making plans for tomorrow, but all I could think about was Harry and how no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to escape my feelings for him.

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(Harry’s POV)

The plane touched down in Mexico City and I hurried out of the airport. I wanted to get to my hotel and get settled in. We had a show tonight and I wanted to walk around some of the local shops before I had to be at the venue. We were all scheduled for a week of vacation here, and I needed it. I had so much on my mind, and a break at the beach would make it better. Louis had mentioned a few days ago about a hotel in Veracruz. It was supposedly much quieter than Mexico City and right on the beach – so that we could have more of a break. I’d hoped that was still the plan, even though he hadn’t mentioned it since. I threw my duffle bag onto the bed in my room at the hotel and locked my door behind me. I left the hotel to see some of the local shops, and decided to give Louis a ring while on my walk.

“Hello?” He sounded half asleep.

“Hey Louis, where are you?”

“Just lying on the beach here in Veracruz with El. You’ve left London, correct?” He mumbled.

“Yes, I'm in Mexico City. When did you arrive in Veracruz? I thought you wanted me to come?” I complained. I couldn’t believe he’d gone with out me!

“I arrived early this morning. Oh yeah, I did mention something about that, didn’t I?” I heard shuffling, as if he was walking away from something, or someone.

“Haz, Leah’s here.” He whispered and my breath hitched in my throat. “She’s visiting El, but she made it clear that she didn’t care to see you. I’m sorry.”

Great, there went my vacation. The girl who consumed my thoughts - the one I was running from - was here, in the place where I was supposed to forget her.

“Oh, ok. That’s fine. I’ll see you later at the show.” I hung up and called Paul, but he didn’t answer, so I just left a voicemail.

“Paul, it’s Harry. I know the plan was to stay in Mexico for a week, but I’m getting a flight back to London right after the shows here for personal reasons. I’ll arrive in the US in time for the first show. See you tonight.” I slid my phone back into my pocket and trudged into a small bar, needing something to ease my hurting heart.

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(Leah’s POV)

“Go long!” Louis shouted, as he pointed to where he was going to kick the ball.

He’d been here since early this morning, and he and Eleanor were leaving a few hours later for Mexico City and the first show of their two night gig. I ran as best I could through the hot sand and received the ball. Eleanor clapped from her umbrella – she wasn’t much for playing football, just watching. Louis and I kicked the ball back and forth for a while, before we decided we needed to cool off in the ocean. Louis scooped up Eleanor from her perch on her beach towel, and ran with her in his arms, into the crashing waves. They were doing their best to keep me from feeling like a third wheel, and it was nice. But seeing them all loved up made me miss the feeling of having someone who loved me unconditionally. I splashed in the water to cool down while they flirted and tackled each other in the water. There weren’t too many beachgoers today, so I exited the water, and spread out on my towel. I decided to catch a few rays and maybe even a nap, but my peace and quiet was soon interrupted.

“Leeeeeeeeeeeah! Oh my gawd, what are you doing here?!” I sat up in shock, recognizing the voices before my eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight. I stood up and hugged both of their necks. I explained to Zayn and Perrie that I was here to visit Eleanor. I was glad to see them, and even more joyed to hear that they'd be hanging around our hotel for the next week. Louis and Eleanor came up from the ocean as soon as they saw Zayn and Perrie. We decided to grab some lunch at a local restaurant that was just across the street from the hotel.

“So, are you guys ready for the show tonight?” Perrie asked while taking a bite from her sandwich.

“Absolutely!” Louis exclaimed. “Since we’ve been on break for a few days, we’re ready to get back to it!”

“It’s kind of nice though, getting this Mexico vacation. But I am very excited for the shows.” Zayn added, while sipping on his drink. “Leah, we’ve mixed things up quite a bit since the London shows. You’re going to love it!”

I could feel my face getting hot. “Um, I don’t think I’m going to be coming to the shows.” I stuttered.

Zayn made a sassy face. “And why not?!” Everyone else at the table shot him a look. “Oh, oh, I’m sorry. I completely forgot.” Zayn grinned, obviously not really caring that I felt awkward about the whole situation. “Forget him. You used to love watching our shows. Don’t let him take that from you. Do what you want to do.” He took a bite of his seafood. "I love you both, but you and Harry both have to realize that you can't let exes run your life."

“Leah, Zayn’s right. We used to have so much fun at shows! It won’t be the same without you.” Perrie frowned. “You know we’d all love to see you there. But, like Zayn said, do what you want to do. Make you happy, ok?” She patted my hand from across the table and I smiled back at her.

“I did really enjoy the shows. And I would love to see the crew. I bet Ronnie misses me like crazy.” I giggled. “What the hell, I’m coming to the show tonight!” Everyone at the table cheered, and Eleanor shot me an ‘are you sure?’ look. I smiled to reassure her, hoping she would do something to reassure me that I was making the right decision. She didn’t.

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(Leah’s POV)

“El, what are you wearing?” I groaned as I ransacked my suitcase. I’d brought nothing but beach attire, thinking a concert wouldn’t be in the cards for me.

“This!” She stepped into my room wearing a printed mini skirt with a light blue top to match, and wedges.

“Ugh, that’s the perfect summer concert outfit. I literally have nothing.” I put my head in my hands, debating for the millionth time on whether or not I should even go.

“You can have a go at my suitcase if you’d like.” She suggested. I hopped up off of my spot in the floor next to my suitcase and went into her and Louis’ room to find something to wear.

“Oooh, what about this?” I cooed, adoring the light pink, flirty dress I held.

“Go for it!” Eleanor laughed at my dramatic reaction. Neither one of us had proper shoes to match, so I just threw on my glitter converse. “That’s actually a really cute outfit!” El exclaimed as I met her and the others in the foyer, to go catch the plane. My hair fell in beachy waves and I’d gotten a pretty good tan from being on the beach most of the day, so my makeup was pretty natural. I’d just added some pale pink lipstick to match the dress. I was quite pleased with my appearance. We took a car to the airport, and hopped on a small plane to take us to the venue at Mexico City.

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(Harry’s POV)

Lou tousled my hair as I sipped vodka from my water bottle. She babbled on with small talk, but I just shut her out.

Leah was here. So close to me, yet she told Louis that she wanted nothing to do with me. I felt like an idiot for believing that maybe after all this time she’d come back to me. I’d stayed up late at night, reminiscing on us, praying that we’d somehow find our way back to one another. But I guess that’s not what fate has in mind.

I chugged the rest of the vodka and got up from my chair before Lou was even finished.

“Harry, where are you going?” She was startled by my sudden action, but I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit there and drown out her mumbling with thoughts of Leah.

I ignored her and started down the hall to the dressing rooms - that’s when I saw her.

She’d actually shown up.
She was standing a few yards away with Eleanor. They were speaking to someone on the crew. Her pink dress and converse nearly knocked the breath out of me and I had to place my hand on the wall to keep from kneeling over. Her hair was extra blonde and her skin extra tan. I wanted to run to her and kiss her and never let her leave me again. She glanced up at me, but quickly looked away. A feeling of complete rejection swelled throughout my body. I turned and stormed into the dressing room. The alcohol I’d been having all day wasn’t having the effect on me that it used to, and I cursed it. Drinking so much the past few months had really taken its toll on me, but the thing it did most was increase my resistance. I could have almost ten drinks without feeling the slightest buzz. My tongue ached for more alcohol, but we were set to take the stage in thirty minutes, and I had no access to any booze. I fumbled with my clothes as the other boys entered the dressing room.

“Here we go, boys!” Liam exclaimed, pulling his shirt over his head. “Can’t wait to do this show!” The other boys chorused in their agreements, but I had my gaze fixed on Louis.

“Why didn’t you tell me she’d be here?” I firmly asked. Everyone knew exactly who I was talking to. Louis had his back turned to me as he laced up his Vans. I repeated my question when he didn’t reply, this time a little louder.

“I didn’t know for sure that she’d be here until just a bit ago. Besides, what’s the big deal, Haz? You’re not dating anymore. It’s been a few months. I didn’t think it’d even mattered.” He lied. I hadn’t told anyone how I felt, but I knew they could all sense it. We knew each other far too well for it to go unnoticed.

“Louis, I still love her. And you thought it wouldn’t fucking matter?” I raised my voice.

“Harry, I don’t want to hear a bitch fit from you. If you still love her, do something about it instead of running from it.” He growled, walking out of the room. I finished getting dressed, thinking about his words.

Notes