All I Ever Wanted

2 Months Later

(Eleanor’s POV)

“How is he?” I asked, lowering my voice so I wouldn’t disturb my roommate, who was busy studying.

“The same; he says he’s fine, but we can all tell he’s not. He still parties a lot and shows up late to almost every show. He’s fine around Liam though. They’ve fully worked it out. But enough about that, when are you coming to see me, love? I miss you.”

Louis whined about missing me every phone call that we were apart. It’d been two months since Harry and Liam’s fight. Harry was still heartbroken over Leah, while she was off in LA, still dating that surfer. We’d kept in touch, and were still quite close, but it was nothing compared to the way we were when we were in the same country and dated two boys who were best friends.

“One week, babe – then we’ll be together for a whole week in Mexico!” I squealed, receiving dirty looks from my roommate. I mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ in her direction.

The boys were still on tour, and would finish up South America before hitting Mexico, and then the US and Canada, then wrapping up the tour with a few last shows in London. I couldn’t wait for Louis to be close by again. I heard a beep while on the line with Louis, so I took a quick glance at my phone. To my surprise, I saw Danielle’s name. I hadn’t spoken to her since before Harry and Liam’s fight. I explained to Louis and told him I’d call him back before switching over to talk to her.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi, Eleanor. It’s Danielle.”

As if I don’t have caller id. What do you even want?

“What’s up?”

“Well, you see, ever since the whole Harry and Leah thing blew up, I’ve felt completely horrible and I want to make it up to Harry. Is there any way you can get Leah to come to a show soon?” Danielle sounded desperate.

“Um, sure. I can try. But she has a new boyfriend so I’m not quite sure how she’ll feel about coming to a show. I’ll try though. What’s your plan?” I questioned.

“Liam and I have set up a dinner for two for them. We hope they’ll get to talking and work everything out, and realize how much they still care for one another.” She sounded excited.

“Danielle, that’s sweet, but like I said, she has a new boyfriend. I don’t know how this will all work out. And why the sudden change of heart?” I wanted to believe she’d come around to the idea of Leah, but I had to be sure.

“You know Harry’s like a little brother to all of us. I was worried for him because he’s been hurt so many times in the past. When Leah came around, she was a new singer, and she got with Harry just as she came on tour with them. I felt as though she could be using him and from that moment on, I was wary of her. But I realize now that when they were together, Harry was the happiest I’d seen him, ever. Now he seems miserable, and I want to clean up the mess I made. When Leah visits, I’m going to apologize.” Danielle sounded honest, so I decided to believe her.

“Okay, Dani. I hope things are alright between us, too. I’ll give Leah a call.”

“Of course they are! Thanks, El. You’re the best! See you soon!”

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(Leah’s POV)

I ducked out of a cab and ran up to my flat, praying Ryan wouldn’t be waiting for me. We’d been seeing each other for about two months and it was the most exhausting two months of my life. He wanted to see me every single second of every single day. For some reason, I liked my alone time more than I liked time with him. I liked him, I really did, but I liked my space, too. I got to the door of my flat, which I’d recently bought since I lived in LA now, and didn’t see Ryan waiting at the door, so I silently thanked God as I hurried inside. I sank onto the couch and flipped on the TV. I needed to relax after my long day in the studio, and I needed to relieve my headache. I was flipping through channels when I saw my picture pop up on some entertainment channel. Harry’s picture popped up next to mine and the host of the gossip show talked about our break up and how she still couldn’t get over it because we’d seemed like we were the perfect couple.

Glad I’m not the only one, but we were the perfect couple.

I immediately stopped myself from thinking about him and turned the channel. I hadn’t spoken to him in over two months. I missed him, and often wondered why Ryan couldn’t bring me near as much happiness as Harry did, but I knew the answer. Harry and I were perfect together. He understood me completely, while poor Ryan still hadn’t figured out that the best thing to buy me was donuts. I understood Harry, and I didn’t care to try to understand Ryan. I sighed and rolled off the couch and into the floor. I laid on my stomach with my forehead pressed against the hardwood floor.

I wish I could forget Harry. I miss him. Life sucks. Ughhhhhh. I need a break – some sort of getaway or vacation.

Buzz buzz.

As if on cue, my phone rang. I reached into my back pocket for it, and saw that it was Eleanor.

“Hello, love!” Eleanor’s chipper tone hurt my head.

“Hi El. Why are you in such a dapper mood?” I moaned, pressing my forehead back against the floor.

“Because I’m leaving for Mexico in a few days!” She squealed through the phone.

“Well good for you. Thanks for rubbing it in. You’ll be on beautiful beaches with your boyfriend, and getting to shop, be a tourist, and see One Direction in concert. Bye.” I joked, but honestly being jealous of her trip.

“Well, come with me! Meet me there! Come on, Le, I haven’t seen you in ages!” She squealed again, making my head pound a little more.

“El, you know that would not be a vacation for me. I don’t want to see Harry. I have a boyfriend and that would just make things awkward.” I whined, wishing this wasn’t even an issue so I could be boarding a plane in a few days.

“You won’t even have to see him! We’ll stay far away from him. You don’t have to go to the show, either!” She begged. “Pleeeease Leah! I miss my best friend!”

I sighed and then realized that I was actually laying on the floor, wallowing in self-pity. I needed a vacation, and no one was going to rob me of one – not even Harry.

“Okay, El, you win. But ONLY if you promise I won’t see Harry at all. Deal?”

“Deal! Ahhh I can’t wait! I’ll call you later so we can work out details! Love you!”

With that, we hung up and I peeled myself up off of the floor in search of some donuts. I couldn’t tell if the hunt for donuts or the thought of being in the same time zone as Harry made my heart rate accelerate and my palms get sweaty, but last time I checked, donuts don’t usually make me nervous.

Well, usually.

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“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with? Mexico is kind of far away.” Ryan asked as he kissed me goodbye. He really was a caring boyfriend and a wave of guilt passed over me for not appreciating him as much as I should have. He knew I would be in the same city as Harry and I think it worried him more than he let on.

“It’s a girl’s trip! Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” I reassured him as I picked up my luggage to head towards my terminal for my flight.

Ryan wrapped his fingers around mine and pulled me into his chest. He kissed me again, this time full of passion. My lips probably felt limp compared to his, but I tried to kiss back with some emotion. He pulled away and looked into my eyes.

“Leah, I love you.” He smiled a warm smile, but it made me feel cold. It was the first time he'd ever said those words to me and I didn't want to hear them.

“Are you just saying that because I’m about to be near Harry?” I blurted out, before I thought about the question.

I looked down to my feet, regretting what I’d said. Ryan tilted my chin up so that I was looking in his eyes.

“No. I said that because I mean it with all of my heart. I’ve felt it for some time, and I just thought now was a good time to let you know.” He placed my hand over his heart and smiled.

I managed a smile back, but I felt so terrible, I just wanted to run for the plane. He didn’t seem to want a reply. He just kissed me a final time and then finally let me go. I hurried to board the plane, glad to be out of his reach, but also feeling extremely low for not saying it back.

How could I tell him I loved him, when I wasn’t sure if I’d ever even stopped loving someone else?

Notes