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I thought this would work

Chapter 3

So today, it my friends mille's birthday, and we are going to the cinema to see insurgent.
It's 11oclock in the morning and I'm lying in bed daydreaming when ding,dong the door bell rings.
and 5 seconds later Jessie (one of my best friends) burst through my bedroom door and leaps ontop of me,
"Ava,ava,ava," she screams...'Jesus Christ Jess,I'm awake..what?
'emmmm......I dunno'
'WHAT!, you leaped on top of me and screamed the house down for nothing!!!'
'well Ye but it's Millie's bithday and u need to get ready we have to be in blachardsdown(the shopping centre) in three hours and you look like you have been bitten by a vampire'
i freeze...'what' she says,
'nothing and when does the train leave'
'30mins'
"shit! Really?" I jump out of bed and run into my bathroom to take a shower. Jessie shouts in after me 'I would say take your time but that would be lying'
'haha your so funny' I say as I leap into the shower.

Notes

Comments

Hey I like the story a lot so far but could you make the chapters longer please? And update!

CherryCoke23
6/8/15

@Savanna and Niall
Thanks it's my first story and I no it's not great I'm just not sure how to write this type of story so I though I'd give it a go..do u have any tips?? X

Lilly44223
11/26/14

Lilly. I'm gicing my honest opinion. I love the story's but. It needs lots of work for it to get views. Yes I love these stories but they way you right these I wouldn't read it. Message me if you'd like some help. I voted and subbed for Ya. Continue though!