Doin' Dirt

a|n: chapter 10 was posted yesterday and this isn't an update but it's a bonus material [smut]. well, i don't know if it's related to the story but i'll consider this as an one shot because it's hell as fuck haha. okay, real reason... everyone made me happy on my birthday [which was] yesterday, 20th of december.. so, i've decided to make an one shot to all of you who have been truly amazing and supporting. you can message me anytime. thank you and i love you all so much. have a lovely day.
-d r e a

this one shot is entitled: Us

"No. No, you don’t understand… Please, believe me, Audrei." Harry sighs. "I’ve never kissed anyone except you. We’re in a relationship, I can’t dare to kiss someone besides you." His tone isn’t that convincing but the look in his eyes do tell something.

"I’m sorry, Harry but I saw what I saw." My voice cracks.

"Just let me explain, please." He pleads.

"This is like the second time, Harry! I’m not a toy that you can play and throw at the side when you’ll get bored and play again with me if you feel like it!" I try to lower my voice but it doesn’t help.

"Please, give me another chance…?" His statement is more like a question.

"You can leave or you’ll never see me again." I say as I try not to stare into his bloodshed eyes.

"What? I don’t understand." He sniffs.

"Leave, maybe, you’ll have the chance to see me but not too soon or I’ll get out of the way and never let myself go near you again." My voice remains flat as I fight back my tears. He didn’t say a word and leaves through the door as every single tear falls from his cheek as I let myself get eaten by the sudden guilt and rejection I feel.

"He did nothing but played with me like a toy." I mumble as I went outside, wiping my cheeks with the wasted tears I’ve shed and see him crying on the floor, so helpless and weak. I walk pass by him, letting all fears and tears slip out of the way. Trying to be strong but I know I can’t.

Tonight, I don’t have a place to say because I’m in Harry’s flat. The sudden ache I feel that I can’t get out of his place because it’s raining hard outside and my car isn’t on the parking lot totally irritates me a lot. So, I have no choice but to sleep on the couch. As the middle of the night passes by, I just remained my eyes closed but I’m fully awake. I can’t sleep in the same roof with him. Nevertheless, it’s his place with his scent and things. I remain silent as the never ending night and rain continues to fall.

I want to open my eyes but I’m caught off guard by a cold hand running, tracing along my cheek. Good thing I didn’t open my eyes to see Harry in front of me. I want to let go of his touch but I already miss it. The way his long fingers brush along my ear and the way he tucks my hair, makes goosebumps appear. Before I know, he kisses my forehead and walks away as I hear the door shut.

Harry’s P.O.V

I can’t fucking believe I’ve let her sleep on the couch last night. What was I fucking thinking? It’s really uncomfortable. I should’ve brought her and carried her in here and I should be the one who slept there but I can’t and I won’t. It’ll make everything worst and I’m the worst. I can’t believe I tried to deny it. Fuck. She caught me and I deny my mistakes. I’m such the worst for her and she has caught me twice and I couldn’t fucking seem to stop myself from being my asshole self.

I was really carried away by her hips swaying in front of me and before I know, she’s sitting on my lap with her thighs spread open and it all started there. She leans in to me and I couldn’t seem to fuck up my mind and push her aside but instead I let her kiss me. I am fucking guilty as I saw Audrei sitting on the couch with her eyes swollen from crying. She knew it then I try to deny everything but I can’t. She was there at the club as she told me and she saw me. After that, I try to make a stupid excuse which I know I couldn’t come up with.

Now, I’m here, lying on the fucking bed alone. I want her next to me when I wake up but she isn’t and this is all my fucking fault. As I went outside… the couch was made, the blanket was fully folded and breakfast was on the counter. As I reach for a glass of water, I saw a note on the fridge, it has her hand writing that says so many tears, wasted on you. I try to gather up and think about everything. I have done this to myself. To her. I’ve made myself let her think of me this way. There’s no one to blame but my fucking idiot self. I want to see her before she goes. I want to say the proper goodbye even though I don’t want to but I have to. I saw the pancakes on the counter, smoke is still floating around. This was just made not that long. I run to the door, not a care if someone would find me with my eyes swollen from crying, only in shorts and bare feet. I saw her hair. She’s reaching for the cab’s door. As she turns sideways, her cheeks are pale, her hand is shaking, her smile isn’t there and her eyes are lifeless as she sees me.

I did this to her. I did this to Audrei. I’ve sucked every inch of her happiness and I don’t know how to fucking replace it. Damn the thought of moving on wants me to smash the cab’s window with my own fist. I can’t imagine her with someone else but she had experienced me with my lips around other women. Fuck. This is killing me.

"Audrei!" I yell as I run towards her.

Audrei's P.O.V

I reach for the handle as fast as I can and try to get inside as he gets closer to me. As I put my bag inside, I’m ready to get in but a hand takes hold of my arm, I pull it away immediately and get inside the cab without a word nor a look at him. I close the door and remain still.

"Please go." I sob as I say to the driver. I clearly don’t know if it was meant for Harry or for the driver but now, all I can hear is his voice fading away and my muffled tears inside the cab as everything went a blur and gone.

Harry’s P.O.V

No! I can’t. This isn’t happening. I- I can’t wrap the words to the sudden feeling I’m in right now. It took me one night for all of this to happen. One night, to tear Audrei and me apart. A night that can separate us forever. I don’t know where she’s going and I mostly don’t know if she’ll ever come back to the way I’ve acted not just twice but so many times that she doesn’t know. I deserve this. I deserve this all. I am pathetic. I am nothing. I can never love again. What the hell?! I can never love. Period. I’m such a fucked up. I thought I’ll never get caught. But bullshit. I was happy with her. Was. I want to laugh at the single past tense that had a lot of deep meaning to it but I fucking can’t, it hurts. It hurts to be heartbroken. I really am, I just don’t know why I like to keep up with my habits with other women. Fuck and now, look at me. I’m having fun and tearing apart with whores but I’ve tear apart with the girl I mostly love with my very own soul.

I silently went to my knees on the side of the street as my tears roll down my cheeks and people passing by looks at me like I’m a freak but who the hell cares. I’ve lost my everything. I’ve lost her, my everything and one night is all it takes to break us into millions of shattered pieces.

-

I grab her waist as she leans into me. I pull her closer and try to breathe the scent of her hair. It’s not the same.

"Hmmm?" I look at her as her smile widens at the sight of a purple bear. What the fuck? It’s cute but what will I do with it? Give it to her? Fuck, hell no. I look into her eyes and they’re telling me what I’ve just thought. Fuck no. I don’t want to spend my time playing that damn game just for a purple teddy bear. She isn’t even my girlfriend. What the hell am I doing with her on the first place? I love Audrei. I still do. Fuck. I always do.

"Please?" She bats her eyelashes. Damn. She won’t fool me with those except Audrei. She can make me weak. She can make me strong and now… I’m dead, lifeless. I’m an undead without her and I’m here with this… whore. Shit. What the hell am I- I’m cut off with a cold kiss on the corner of my lip as her teeth nibble on it and she pulls away. I look at her confused and she smirks.

"You can get more of that if you’ll play for me." She puts her tiny hands together as she pleads. Yeah, I’m playing with you. Not for you.

Audrei's P.O.V

"No." I demand.

"Yes you are." Zayn, my guy friend scolds me.

"No. I told you." I argue.

"Yes. Like it or not. I’m going to drag you out of this room." He crosses his arms.

"Zayn, please. All I need is space and time to think. I need to be sad for some time. I have to." I say as I look out from the window.

"You have to? No. You’re coming with me. I’m your best friend, okay? I want to cheer you up. I don’t want to see you sad and besides, it’s unhealthy for you. You’re becoming weak and you need my feed of happiness for you to become strong again. So please? Go with me, yeah?" He smiles as he sits next to me. "I’m here." He brings me into a hug. I nod and hug back, his smile reaches his ears. "I’ll pick you up by three." He smiles as he leaves the door.

"Wait! Where are you taking me?!" I yell, good enough for him to hear.

"That’s a secret!" He yells back as I hear the front door close.

Harry’s P.O.V

"You should’ve gotten me that bear." She pouts and I shrug. I don’t want to be with her. She’s annoying as fuck but hey, I can leave whenever I want and I want now.

"I’ll be back, okay?" I say to her. Clearly not coming back. She nods as she steps into one of the games, leaning on them and try to wait for me as I will never go back for her. Who is she anyway? I know I knew her name but as fuck as hell I forgot because the only name I can think and remember is Audrei’s. I walk my way to the crowd and that’s when my heart drops.

Audrei's P.O.V

I really didn’t know that the carnival’s in town but oh well. I laugh as hard as his hand went into one of the games and he got scolded from the man standing behind. I turn my head as I laugh and he’s here? I can’t believe in all places I’m at, he’s here in the carnival and alone? Who would go into a carnival alone? He totally looks lost right now. Maybe, he is alone.

"Hey, what is it?" Zayn asks me as his arms loosen on my shoulder as he looks to where I’m staring at. "Uhmmm…let’s go, Drei." He whispers to me as he tries to drag me along with him.

Why is he here?

"Wait." I say to my best friend and as I turn, a girl is with him.

So much for alone. She hugs him by the waist as Harry’s stare didn’t move from mine. He tries to take away the hold of the girl and she looks confused. She looks to where Harry’s staring and she looks at me and a hateful glare I receive from her. I move back to my best friend as Harry remains still and his eyes starts to water. He’s just fifteen feet away. I shake my head in disapproval to what I’m seeing. The way that he had moved on in a week without me and I’m stuck every night bleeding out in tears as memories of the two of us became a nightmare in my sweetest dreams. I can’t believe that he has forgotten about me already. Us. I thought if I give him some time, a week, to think about the things he had done then he might change for the last time with me. I thought I can give him another chance but not anymore. This is the third time he had done to me. I walk back and try to hold my best friend’s hand with my shaking fingers.
"Audrei!" I hear Harry’s voice in the background.

"Take me home." I say with a sob at my best friend as he wraps his arm around my weak shoulders.

Harry’s P.O.V

What the fuck just happened? Why is she here? Why did the bitch follow me?

"Who is she?" Not to add annoying.

"No one." I say flatly. No, she’s the girl I love.

"Oh. I thought she’s someone else because clearly I’m here for you." She says as her finger traces along my jawline. My head starts to tilt at her touch but I back away. I don’t want to fool myself again. I’ve done this too many times and this time… I’ve hurt her the most. I will never get the chance to be with her again. Well, I know that but when I saw her, I thought I have hope. With her. Again. But when the whore came… not anymore and I know that for sure.
As his long arm wraps around her shoulder and as she leans in, my heart’s being swallowed by a big hole that I can’t seem to find a way to take it back to the light. Who the fuck is he?!

Audrei's P.O.V

"You’ve been inside this room of yours for three days, Audrei." He says more like scolding me.

"So? Let me be." I can’t control my feelings anymore that my tone sounds a little harsh right now. "I’m sorry." I apologize to him.

"It’s fine." He sighs. "Just please. He’s not worth it, Drei. Please see that in him." He says as he sits back on my side of the bed as I pull my knees against my chest and hug it tight.
"I can’t. I loved him. I love him." I look at my best friend with my bloodshed eyes at his concerned face.

"Why?" He asks. "He had hurt you for how many times. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you let go?" He places his hand on my shoulder as I lean in into his chest and cry about everything. After 30 minutes of lying down with my best friend… "Want to grab a drink or two? You know have fun. Be free. Get a little wasted?" He chuckles.

I thought for a while. Maybe, I should go out and drink a little. I am single to be thinking.

"Okay." I answer

Harry’s P.O.V

Who the hell is he? Why is she with him? I took the whore home and she wanted me to stay but good that I had pushed her aside. Now, I’m here in a bar drinking my ass out. Fuck, I’m so fucked up.

"Hey." A girl says to me. Her eyeliner’s smudge, her face is sweaty, and she’s dressed in a skin fit dress. Not fucking going to happen.

"Go." I say and I don’t care really right now if she thinks I’m a jerk because it’s true.

"Jeez." She sits down beside me and I drink my whole shot.

Audrei's P.O.V

"So? How do I look?" I try to smile as I gesture myself to my best friend.

"Perfect. Let’s go."

I’m wearing a short shorts and sleeveless shirt with boots and some bangles with light make-up on.

"I’ve never been to this club before." I say as I look up the sign.

"Now, you’re going to. C’mon." My best friend holds my hand tight and we went in. I scan around and dancing bodies everywhere. Drunk dancing bodies that doesn’t seem to care in the world and I like the feeling to be one of them later on. Being free, wild and especially, problem free.

"What drink?" Zayn asks.

"Just give me vodka." I shrug.

"Okay." And he went off.

I stand from where I am and decided to go to the bathroom. As I pass by the dance floor I see a familiar face that I wished I would’ve seen but I’m not sure if it was the face that my mind is really playing with me. As I get close the image becomes clearer. What the hell is this?! This is the second time. He’s here in front of my face again? But good thing he’s alone and he’s dancing drunk on the middle of the dance floor with his drink in his hand as a girl went in front of him. Shit. I can’t watch but my eyes wouldn’t make a move to the sight. He whispers something to the girl which made her leave, mad.

"Weird." I mumble.

He continues to be in that state. I love watching him that way. So happy but drunk. I haven’t notice that you’re just five feet away from him. What to do now? I went in front of him and he looks at me with his eyes red from the alcohol taken.

"You remind me of someone that I always love. You almost look like her. Stay." He says as he drinks from his glass and puts the glass on the floor and kicks it away.

"No, Harry. What have you done to yourself?" I ask as anger hits me. He shrugs and he puts both of his hands on my waist. The way his big hands slide down on my tiny body… makes sparks spark again. "Stop." I pull back immediately but he grabs me back and pins my back to his front.

"Stay for a while. I missed you." He whispers seductively in my ear. I look up at him and his eyes look straight back at me. I nod and just go along to what he’s doing. What the fuck?

Harry’s P.O.V

Shit. My mind is buzzing like hell. My hands are on some girl’s waist. Fuck, I’m fucking again. As she looks up at me, it’s Audrei. No, it couldn’t be but her voice, scent and eyes… it’s just like her. Is it her? I lean down and whisper something into her ear and I don’t know what words did come out but she nods and puts her shaking hands on top of mine. This will not be good or it will be good. Fuck, why did I drink too many?

Audrei's P.O.V

What the hell am I doing? This isn’t right. Why the hell did I agree? Because you missed him. My subconscious bugs me and she’s right, I’ve missed him so bad and this might be the last time we would see each other. Or not. She bugs in again. I shrug her away and continue to trace I’ve made into his perfect jawline. I can’t seem to stop myself from him even though he had hurt me a lot. I can’t seem to stop every action of mine. I’m washed by my emotions but my emotions are true and I know that. I look straight into his eyes and back to his lips. I want to kiss away that frown of his. Why is he frowning?

"What’s wrong?" I ask.

"You." He slurs.

"What?" I try to back away but he holds me tighter and closer to his body. "Why me?!" I can’t hold back but the anger is rising up again but a drunk mind always tell the truth.

"Because you keep coming back for me even though I’m huge of a mess and I, myself can’t stop being away from you." I’m cut off in my thoughts as his long arms wrap around my body and into a warm hug. I didn’t hug him back, I just stand here unknown what to do. I’m lost. I want to comfort him but he’s right. He has done this.

Why do I always hurt myself? Why do I keep being near with him? Is this really what you call love? Is it really this difficult? Hurtful?

"Please stay?" He mumbles into my ear and I pull him back, so that, I can look up at him and a tear left his eye as I peck his lips

"What are we? Because I can’t understand everything. Especially us." I ask him as he tries to gather up his drunken thoughts.

"We are us." He says softly.

"We can’t." I silently disagree.

"Why?" I try to let go but he holds me firmly.

"I need to go. Zayn is waiting for me." I say as I try to turn around.

"Who’s he?" I can feel his teeth grit at the sound of his name.

"His my best friend." I defend. He sighs and lets go of me as he grips his hair like he’s annoyed. "I’m sorry, Harry." I softly remark as I make my way back to my best friend as he looks lost because I was gone at the table. I immediately hurry back and act like there’s nothing had happened until…

"Please?" Harry grabs my arm. "Let me explain. Hear me out for the last time. One last time." He pleads as his eyes starts to water. I ponder for a while but a minute can’t be long. So, I nod and he drags me somewhere. Until the two of us are out from the club and on the parking lot.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask. I don’t feel frightened on what he might do to me but I’m frightened to the things he might say.

"Here." We stop at the middle of the lot.

"What the hell, Harry?!" I try to yell but I’m cut off by his hands on my shoulders.

"Please." I try my best to be quiet as the torture with his words will start.

I never imagine I would agree to Harry. I always agree to him because he makes me weak and vulnerable when he comes to him and only him. I really don’t know why I’m like this whenever he touches me or even whisper to me. Everything.

"I will admit everything." He says as he looks around the lot.

"No. Please don’t do this, Harry." My voice cracks. I don’t want to hear everything again. I don’t want to replay the hurtful memories in my head again.

"I will admit. I did have fun with other women but it was all a game. Fun." He’s shaking.

"Harry please? Stop." I say unsure. I can’t stop as tears are streaming down my cheeks as I hold both of his arms and he looks at me as his thumb brushes against my cheek, wiping all the pain away but it doesn’t. But it feels so nice that he has his touch on me and is still there.

"I will admit, I had played." He continues as a tear rolls down each on his flawless cheek.

"Please?" I can’t stop yourself.

"I will admit that I have kissed them."

"No. Harry-" Everything is so vivid right now. Him kissing her and the vice versa. Their tongues colliding. "Harry." He stops in his words and looks at me with eyes that are hurt.

"I admit that I love you and always do. It only took me to realize everything until you left me." And that’s when he breaks down on his knees in front of me. I try to let him stand but he doesn’t. Is he still drunk?

"Harry please." I hold his shoulders and he looks up at me.

"I will admit that I had never loved someone as much as I love you. I am fucked up and I will change for the last time. I have played not twice, not thrice but many and I am sorry. I will try to make it up for you by giving me one more chance. A chance to let you know that I can change. For you." His voice is raspy and shaky from his sudden breakdown and I hate to see him like this, so vulnerable and helpless. "A tiny slip of chance can change one more time and this time it will be true. I will make my mistakes forgotten and replace them with the truth." He catches his breath as tears continue to fall.

"Please stand." I can’t process anything. I can’t absorb everything in my mind because it went straight to my heart and it’s ripping into millions of pieces as another came in and fixes it again. I don’t understand why it hurts so much but at the same time I’m feeling a sudden relief inside. He stands and tries to walk away but returns.

"I don’t know what to say anymore." He admits. "I want to show it to you." He holds both of my hands in his. "Let me. Please? Let me in again. For one last chance. Let me love you again. No. Let me love you. I can’t imagine someone near you. Please? I don’t want us to be moving on." He steps even closer.

"Harry please. I need space, especially right now." I can’t think well. Everything’s spinning.

"A chance that’s all I’m asking. A chance where I can change for real and you’re going to watch me doing it. Please? I can’t do anything. I shoved women away. Please… I want us to be us again. It’s been two weeks Drei, you had a lot of time and I’m sorry that I had just came. I’m just scared on what will happen. And I still am. Please?" He hugs me by surprise as his body’s still shaking. I can’t help but wrap my tiny arms around his neck and cry about everything.

"This is too much, Harry. I can’t think for the last few days. I can’t think about everything. Seeing you with another girl again at the carnival, imagining your lips around hers. I really don’t know if it only was lips contact. What if you two did what we didn’t?" I can’t help but choke on the hurtful words that’s been floating in my head for the last few days and now, it slipped out of my mouth in one slide. He pulls away from the comfortable hug.

“What? I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t do anything except pushed her away.” He admits but his tone comes out different, more like harsh.

"I’m sorry but that’s what I have been thinking and you can’t change it because it already rode my mind." I admit and wipe all the tears in my eyes.

"Just one more chance, Drei. That’s all I’m asking." He says the words again.

"How would I know that it will be true? That you will be true?" I fight back. "I don’t want to be a toy for you Harry. I clearly am not."

"You’re not. They are." He says. "Please believe me that I love you because I do." He says and I think he really means it as the look in his eyes tells everything.

"I want to believe-" He cuts me off.

"Don’t believe. Trust me." He says holding back my hands again.

"I want to believe everything but you played me. You didn’t love me." I ignore him.

"I love you. Please. Trust me. I always do. I never left that thought behind. You’re in my heart." He brings my hand to his heart and I feel it pumping hard. "Every beat, every rhythm and every pump it makes… I give to you and only you. I will risk my life." He says as he presses my hand more but I can’t think of it that way anymore.

"Then risk yourself by leaving me." I softly say as it stings my chest.

"I can’t do that. I won’t. Anything but that, please. Why are you doing this?"

"I am not doing anything. You are, Harry. You are." I pull away my hand from the heart that is meant for me.

"I am sorry-" I stop him.

"You know, sorry is just a word Harry." I fight. I clearly don’t know but anger is hitting me. I want to process everything. Everything that he had said and turn the meaning to his description but it can’t. My mind has its own description to the words that he had said and they were completely the opposite from his.

"I know that but mine is different. I want to prove it. I want to prove that I am truly sorry." He pleads.

"How? You can’t. I can’t." I turn against him and he holds my arm as more tears flood my face.
"A chance." He simply says, more like a whisper.

I turn to face him. “A chance?” I question and he nods.

"Yes." He answer.

"Then you’ll blow it away?" I say sarcastically.

"No. I won’t. Why would you think that I’ll blow it away?" He silently questions and I know he is hurt right now but I am too.

"Because you already have!" I yell. "Because you already have, Harry! Every single minute we had, every single touch we’ve made, every single kiss we’ve sync. You blew everything up. You leave me every night with a bitch! You left me. You always left me and I’m here staying, praying that you’ll never leave but… you did. You are. You always have and I can’t return that time and make everything okay. You made yourself making me think of you like this and my mind can’t change a channel if I don’t want the show. It’s stuck in my head. Everything you did is stuck in my head. It’s a memory, Harry. A painful memory and you can’t just-" I suddenly feel something cold against my lips and that, I knew he had crashed his lips against mine.
The rhythm is slow and meaningful like I’ve always wished it would be. His hands roam my body as it went to my cheeks, stroking, caressing every single skin on them.
"I love you." He says in between the kiss. "One last chance."

I can’t process everything. I want to let go and out of this kiss but it seems I can’t. I’m stuck. I can’t move. I know that I’ve always love him but the way he had acted and treated me just made me think about him differently but still, the love and care is there. I don’t want to process everything because I know it will lead us back to the past and I don’t want that to ever happen again. I want my mind to move on, relax and he says he will promise.

Did he say that he will promise? But I know he will. He did say he will change and I’m looking forward to it. I don’t want to backtrack in our steps. I want to move on and giving him a chance might change everything that had happened. Sudden. That’s the word for us but life only happens once and there’s only one Harry in the world and I don’t want to let go of him. He wants me and I want him and this might be the last of him. So, I’ve changed my mind and I hope that whatever will come, it will be a challenge but I will fight because I don’t want to get back in a time travel back to the past.

"I love you too." I say as the kiss never broke.

"You do?" He pulls away and I can see happiness mixed with scared and a little drunk in his eyes.

"I always do even though you’ve hurt me much." I try to give him a smile.

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry." He hugs me tight. "Please? Give me-"

"I will. I trust you. I don’t want to think anything anymore about what had happened. I don’t want to remember any of the hurtful memories. I want to move on. I want to move on with you and I will try my hardest on this." I say meaning every single word I’ve spoken.

He laughs with happiness and a tear strolls down his cheeks as he lifts me up in the air, holding me tight and makes me spin around the parking lot filled with cars. As he puts me down, he puts his palm on my cheek. “I want you.” He whispers in my ear as we embrace each other.

"I have already wanted you before and until now." I whisper back to him as tears stop to fall and is replace by joy and relief.

I think that it’s so sudden giving him a chance but I can lose him if I’ll stay any longer away from him. Everything won’t last for a lifetime and he will not last forever for there is only one Harry Styles and that is the man in front of me right now. I forgave him from all of his hurtful mistakes and try to fight to keep it that way. He said that he will change and I believe him. No, I trust him.

"I need to get back to-" He stops me.

"You have me." He holds my hand firmly.

"Zayn." I say as I stand on my tip toes, looking through the top of the heads of the cars and at the door of the club if he’s looking for me or something but none.

"Maybe, you’re best friend is having fun back there. Let him be and we’ll return to him later." He says trying to smile.

"Where are we going?" I ask as he wraps one arm on my shoulder.

-

Is he sober now?

I can’t think straight but his kiss is never like this before. This is slow and passionate because before, his kisses were so hungry in lust. His hands roam my half naked body as my hands scratch his bare back.

A groan I receive from Harry when I suck his sweet spot just below his ear and he flips me over, making me sit on his torso as I can feel him under my underwear. He smiles and tucks my hair behind my ear. “I love you.” He whispers.

"I love you more." I respond back as I trace his tattoo on his stomach. His hands went to my back and he unclasps my bra, taking me by surprise. Harry had never seen my body before and now, I’m giving it all to him. I’m ready for this.

"You’re so beautiful." His finger went to my nipple as he makes circles around, making it hard. A moan escapes my lips as he pulls me closer and nibble on it. I grip his hair at the sudden pleasure he gives to me.

"Oh... Harry." I moan.

"Hmmm?" His kiss went back to my neck as his hand massages my breasts. I rock my hips slowly on him, feeling him hard by a second.

"Fuck." He groans and he pins me back unto the mattress. "I don’t want to wear it." He says and my eyes widen.

"Harry." I’m scared. What if something else might happen because he didn’t get out on time? I don’t want to carry a child in an age like this.

"I’ll pull out in time. Trust me." He says as he licks my sweet spot and I throw my head back into the soft pillow of his bed.

"But-" I can’t think well in this pleasurable moment.

"I want to feel you. I want you to feel me. I’m your first and I want to make it special. I want you to feel me on how much you’re worth it to make me feel you because I promise to never leave your side." He says as he gently brings back his lips to mine.

I nod and he went down unto my knees. He pulls my underwear down my ankles and throws it to the floor. I can feel myself blush. I’ve never been exposed like this before. His finger brushes along my private area. I can feel myself getting wet by an instant.

"So beautiful. My beautiful." He says as he plants a kiss over mine. I moan at the feeling and I want him more.

"Harry, please." I beg.

"Shhh." He spreads my legs making me more exposed He brings his head down and starts to lick me. I throw my head back again and grip the sheets on both sides. I’ve never felt pleasure this way before and this is so good. Before I know, he slips one finger inside of me and I gasp by surprise.

"Shhh." He says. He starts to pump as pleasure moans escape my lips. He inserts another finger and it kind of hurts a little but it fades away. As he pumps, his pumps went faster than before making me want more.

"Harry. All I want is you. Please." I beg and he slips out his fingers and lies on top of me, making his elbows to support his weight. I hold his cheeks with both of my hands as I smile at him. "Please?" I beg once more. Before I know, he pulls his boxers down and his tip just brushed on my opening making me gasp in surprise.

"I’ll go slow. I promise." And he slowly went in. It hurts. It stings. I can feel myself expanding and a soft squeal went out of my lips from the sudden ache. He stops, making me adjust to his size. "Tell me when I can." He brushes his nose on mine. As the pain goes away…
"Please, move." I say as I wrap my arms around his neck and he goes in and out in the slowest matter. It still hurts a little. I close my eyes tightly as the pain went to a pure pleasure. Moans and groans escape from both of our lips as he continues his rhythm.

"You’re so warm. I love to feel you this way. I love you." He moans.

"Faster." I can’t respond as my body is taking me to paradise. He obeys and fastens his movement. "Oh god." I scratch his back making him groan loud and making his thrust harder and sloppier. "I love you too." I finally respond and I can feel my stomach twist and tightens. "Harry-"

"Come over me, baby." His lips are parted as his rhythm slows down as his thrusts went deeper hitting my spot.

"Fuck!" I scream as come undone all over him and by a second, he pulls out and comes all over my stomach. He lies beside me as my panting synchronizes with him. He wraps his arm around me as I pull myself closer to him. He pecks my lips and nose. He tucks my sweaty hair behind my ear as I push his wet hair back and caresses his cheek.

"I trust you so much, baby." I say as I snuggle in his neck. He wraps both arms around me, making me feel safe.

"I promise." He says.

"We’ll go in a minute to get Zayn. I don’t want to leave here right now." I giggle. "I love this." I say as I kiss his neck and close my eyes. I’m exhausted but I feel great.

"Trust me. I will change for us."

Notes

viola! this one shot is done! this is the first ever longest one shot i've ever written like whooo! and thank you so much, jess for everything, you are truly a remarkable best friend slash sister to me. keep smiling. and to all of you reading, you don't know how lucky i am to have you so please comment below a simple hi, hello or anything. it's nice to meet you. and don't forget to vote and comment too. hihi. i've always loved you all. mwuah.
-d r e a