Just as Much

“Just come through here.” Kristen and Heath guide me as I follow, picking up my dress to avoid invisible water on the carpet below. I don't even know where we are, this basement just continues to go forever and ever.

“Where are we going?” I reach for my phone to check the time, realizing that I've left it with Allison what seems like hours ago.

“You'll see, we've devised a plan.” Kristen looks back at me, winking. I'm almost sick to my stomach wondering what plan they've come up with. It could be good, and it could be an awful plan that gets me nowhere and makes my anxiety sky high. I scrunch my eyes together but continue to follow them anyway. I can be late to my own wedding, people are there to celebrate us anyway. I grin slightly, I can't even explain the thoughts going through my head and feeling spinning around my body. Like an internal twister.

“Okay.” Kristen pauses, as she non-verbally motions to Heath, as if he can read her mind he reaches for a chair and places it next to a door. A pocket door that is open just a crack. Kristen motions for me to have a seat and I obey, delicately placing my dress around so it doesn't wrinkle. I'm sure Victoria will have a fit and steam it until my butt is raw. I had objections as to hiring her but she's the best in the business and that's what we needed beings as Niall and I are in LA a large majority of the time.

“What's going on?” I ask.

Kristen and Heath share a moment, the look on their eyes like they're either purely insane or purely genius. I'll never know which one to be honest. “Just trust us.” Heath says. “Stay here, we'll get you when we have to.” He smiles. “You look great kid.” I smile and laugh, Heath has never been good with comforting words. He works in nature. Trees don't need to be told they're beautiful. They open the door a little and sneak through. I'm alone in my thoughts.

I hear some movement on the other side of the door and right when I go to peek a voice stops me. “Don't look.” It's Heath. And Niall. I blush even though I don't have a mirror to see, I know I am. I listen as Heath gives him instructions and I can't believe that he's so close. I just want to move the door away and hug him. But we already made promises to each other. “Erica.” I look up even though I can't see Heath. “So you and Niall can talk, and you'll be alone, no one will know what you're saying at all so if you decided to peek it's fine. Just get your nerves back together.” I smile, I want to touch my face and rub my eyes but I know if I mess up my makeup anymore Victoria will kill me with her icy glare. I just smile. This is what I needed.

“Thank you.” I whisper. I hear footsteps and know it's just Niall and I. I can hear him take a large breath in.

“Hey Erie.” I instantly smile and my nerves seem to flutter away.

“Hey Ni.” I fight the urge to bring my feet up and hug my knees, I'm sure that's frowned upon in bridal world.

The door rattles a little bit and I can see his hand sneak around. “I'm not going to look, even if it kills me not to, but if I could just hold your hand I'd feel a hell of a lot better.” I'm not graceful about it at all, grabbing his hand quickly to reassure me. The touch of his skin soothes my flopping insides. I can tell something isn't right.

“Are you all right?” I ask calmly.

“I'm just.” I can hear him take a deep breath in, it makes my nerves jumble as to what is going on in his head. Is it spinning like mine? “I'm just nervous about being in this large room full of people.”

I almost laugh. No way that Niall is as nervous as I am. “Niall, you did this for a living for years, you sing in front of thousands of people, millions on TV and this makes you nervous?” I realize my words might be harsh but it still makes me laugh. How can be nervous? I've never done this, he's done scarier things in front of larger crowds!

“I know, it's crazy but I just want this day to be good. It doesn't have to be perfect because I know it won't be but I want you to have perfect.” I grip his hand a little more, I can tell he's bouncing his leg up and down. “What about you? Why are you upset? Having second thoughts?” His voice cracks a little.

“Not at all.” I rush to calm him. It's odd that We're facing different directions and that there is only a door in between us. I want to pull it away and kiss him forever. “I suppose the same reason as you.” I shrug. “I've never been in front of this many people and I'm tired of the constant questions and demands of people.” I lean my head back, but not too much as I know I'll get the look from Victoria again as she finds someone to fix it.

“Well I'm sure you'll look amazing. You always do.” He squeezes my hand as I look down and blush. He always has a way of doing that to me. I start laughing, my nerves suddenly calmed and my brain on different thoughts.

“Remember the first time we went golfing together?” I try not to snort with laughter. I know the memory I've put in his head now.

“How could I forget!” He grunts. “I was awful. So fucking nervous for some stupid reason and I had no clue that you could even golf. I thought I'd spend all day having to teach you the right way to do everything.” I can picture him shaking his head, angry that I've brought it up but smiling at the same time.

“You we're so angry that you nearly broke your 9-iron on the last hole!” I can feel my body relax and Niall's hand not as sweaty.

“It was frustrating! I was awful!” I know he's legs are still bouncing as I search for other stories to bring up but he beats me to it. “I remember when we went out to dinner with Jamie and Cassie and we had you laughing so much that you snorted water out of your nose.”

“Niall James! You said you'd never bring that up ever again! You promised!” I think back to the memory, embarrassed by that night. I wasn't even drinking!

“I said I'd never bring it up in public, we're alone here.” I can tell he's smiling this, enjoying it. Our banter has relaxed me.

“You have second thoughts about marrying me?” I can tell his voice is shaky. “Is that why you're so nervous?” I squeeze his hand with all my might.

“Never in a million years.” I reply with the calmest voice I've ever had.

“Would you marry anyone else?” He asks, again with a voice as if he's second guessing himself.

“Only Prince Harry. Everyone else is a hard no.” I giggle, I have a weakness for those sexy gingers.

“Of course it would be him.” I can hear him mumble some other words but I can't make them out. It makes me laugh to myself.

“You know I'm only teasing. I love to get a rise out of you.” I lean my cheek against the door, I just want to snuggle up next to him and hold the day away. “I'm feeling better.” My emotions have calmed, nerves have seemed to settle. I don't feel like I'm running and spinning anymore. I feel like the earth is still for once.

“I love you.” He whispers just loud enough for me to hear it.

“I'm still nervous that I'll never give you everything you want.” I stammer out, he knows I've got baby on the brain.

“You already have, everything else is just a bonus”

“You know how to make a girl feel better.” I just can't stop smiling now.

“I've been reading books.” Ah, the true way to my heart. “Anything that happens today We'll be fine, we'll make it through. This is what I've wanted all day.”

We sit in silence for a moment, we haven't had any in what seems like ages. Just the silence, our bodies making noises as we breath and shift occasionally.

“Sorry to interrupt but the Priest is ready.” I hear Harry's voice and I know that the moment Niall and I have had will last a life time. It's has done more for me than anyone ever could. Niall squeezes my hand one more time.

“I'll be seeing you Erie.” He lets go and stands, I can hear his footsteps getting further and further away.

“You ready?” Kristen asks, as if appearing from nowhere.

“Lets do this.” I nod, racing to stand as we quickly walk the other direction.

Notes

Ah I've missed writing them. Both shots are in Erica's POV, if you haven't guessed. :)

Make sure to read Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming by my lovely friend @not_any_maryjane for Niall and Erica's wedding.

xoxox