Just as Much

Niall's POV

After I spent the rest of my time at my ma's house with everyone being pissed at me, I was beyond ready to join back up with the tour. It's an eighteen hour flight but I was just ready to get back to it. Push all this behind me. I need all of this behind me. Things that happened between my family, things that happened with Eric, and the fact that my Nan is gone.

What hurt the most is I know Erica is right. I know I should have taken an extra day or two, missed the stop in Jakarta, but I just couldn't. I need this distraction. If I have a distraction, I can deal with it another time.

Erica will understand.

Maybe.

We had our show in Jakarta last night. It was insane, I've never been to Indonesia before and it was a beautiful country. I wish we had more time to spend just looking at things and taking in the culture. But we needed to get to South Africa. We were going to take a few days to just relax and rest before the end of the tour. I was dreading going home. For probably the first time ever. Because I knew that Erica deserved an apology. I knew I was wrong.

She hasn't tried to call me since. I don't know what I expected, I've never had a girlfriend while on tour before but I already knew I was blowing it.

We had just touched down in South Africa, a new place. I'd like to think it's a fresh start but we
all know that troubles follow wherever you go. It doesn't help that everyone was treating me with kid gloves, afraid to say the wrong thing, always asking how I was doing, how I was feeling. It's nice, but I miss how they guys usually are.

“Are you coming?” Louis looks over his shoulder at me. I look around and realize that the plane is empty, just Louis waiting for me.

“Um, yeah.” I shake the thoughts out of my head an grab my bag. It's so nice here, I wish it was summer all year round in London, wish it wasn't overcast most of the time there in the summer.

“You all right?” Louis asks me when I get closer to him.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” I fake a smile and follow him off the plane.

“So have you talked to Erica yet?” Louis practically yells at me to compensate for the crowd just beyond the fence that's frantically screaming at us.

“Um, no, not yet. I will soon.” I assure him.

“Well don't wait too long. The longer you wait the harder it will be.” I clasps a hand on my shoulder and shakes it roughly.

“Hey guys, think we should greet some fans?” Liam asks as we get closer to the waiting vans.

“Yeah.” Louis hands his bag over to Mark and I do the same, following them to the fence. Zayn and Harry are arriving a little bit later, they decided to sleep just a little longer and catch the next flight.'

The crowd gets a little quieter but now it's mumbled with our names and random high pitched screams. Liam takes over as he usually does, picking people to talk to and taking pictures with them. Always odd that a fence is between us but we try to make it work.

“Niall!” A younger girl with dark hair grabs my attention and I walk towards her. “Hi.” She's got a frozen smile, eyes wide.

“Hi! How are you?” I ask and I can see her fingers tremble against the fence.

“I'm sorry about your Nan.” She's a considerate fan at least.

“Thank you.” She passes me her phone through the fence.

“Could you sign this and take a picture with me?” I obliged, I used to think it was odd to sign someone's phone cover but not anymore, it's like second nature. I hold the phone out away from us and at last minute Zayn pops his head in and takes a picture with us. “Oh my god, thank you so much! I love you and Erica by the way, you two are super cute.” She smiles and soon gets swallowed up by the crowd.

The bit about Erica catches me off guard. It's always nice to hear the fans like who we're with but I just don't expect it. Erica has gotten a lot of hate recently, they don't really know the real her and that kills me but I want to protect her and if they don't know the real her then that's okay. I know her, the people the most important to me know exactly how she is.

We sign a few more autographs and take a few more pictures before we're called back, we have to get to the hotel. We ride there in silence, Liam occasionally texting, Louis and I just look around. The windows are fairly tinted so people can't really see in. It's crazy that no matter where you are people are basically the same. Smiling, enjoying life. I see families walking around and all I want is that sometimes. I sometimes just wish to wake up in a normal life with no star status. But the more I think of that the more I realize that I would have never met Erica. I met her because of my job and I'm forever grateful for that.

We arrive at the hotel and of course people already know that we're staying here so a small crowd has gathered outside, I don't really feel like talking to anyone else so I just pull my bag closer and walk into the hotel, Mark passing out our keys and letting us head to our rooms.

I wake to someone pounding on my door. I must have fallen asleep when we arrived because I still have my shoes on. This life isn't for the birds. The pounding starts again and I hit the bed in frustration.

“I get it, I'm coming!” I yell. I suddenly think that maybe it's Erica at the door here to surprise me so I can apologize and make everything right but I know deep down inside it's not her.

I pull the door open to see Louis waiting, leaning against the door jam.

“About time fucker.” He brushes past me.

“Sure, come on in.” I roll my eyes, letting the door go and crash close. “What do you want Louis?” I stand by the entrance and cross my arms.

“I just spent a half an hour convincing Liam to go out and have a few drinks, so it better not take you that long to convince.” He plops down on my bed and glares at me.

“I'm not going out.” I walk towards the window covered in shades and peek outside. The crowd is still there but didn't notice the slight movement of the curtians and so they remain quiet. I always hate when they stay outside the hotel all night, people can get really loud.

“You're going out and I'm not taking no for an answer.” He acts like he's intimidating, he's like a wafer, a strong wind could push Louis over if he'd let it. “Come on Niall, please?” I break a little bit, Louis has been having a difficult time so I'll humor him for a bit.

“Fine.” I roll my eyes dramatically so he can see them.

“Change your clothes, meet us in the hall in twenty minutes.” He claps his hands together as if a wicket plan has just come true and rushes out my room.

I can't believe I'm going out but maybe this will do me some good. I pull my bag out and start rummaging through my things to get some clothes. I don't know where we're going but this is all Louis; idea so I at least know it will be a good time.

Of course it doesn't take long after we get there before Louis is buying and passing out shots. His main mission is to get drunk, I can tell. I'm not really in the mood for it, I'd rather just have a few beers but if he's buying I'll be drinking.

Liam is sitting in the corner, texting Sophia right a left, it's always hard for him to be away from someone. In fact, he always has a girl, he's one of those guys that apparently can't take the single life. I loved the single life but I love my life with Erica too. Erica. Damn I just can't seem to get away, even if it's in my head. She consumes my every thought.

I throw another shot of mampoer, shit is strong. I have a feeling like it will hit us like a ton of bricks soon and it won't be good. I pull my phone out and see that Erica has called me. I nearly stop breathing. I have to call her back right now, I miss her. I stand quickly and show my phone to Louis as he makes a tight smile and waves me off.

I ignore Liam, he's ignored us most of the night and take one of the guys with me as I push past the crowd and escape to the outside, running towards the van, at least it will be a quiet place for us to chat. For me to fix things.

Notes

Hey everyone! Sorry for a bit of a cliffhanger there...do you think things will be resolved next chapter? :) Exciting news, only about six chapters left! Maybe seven, I haven't written the end but I have it all mapped out in my head.

Thank all for being awesome! Hope you all have a fantastic Tuesday!!

xoxoxo