Just as Much

Erica's POV

I didn't want to call him. I knew he was preforming but this was important. After the first few times I called him I knew that he didn't have his phone with him. He does that sometimes. When Niall's mom called me, frantic with the news I didn't know what to do, she told me that she couldn't get a hold of Niall and asked me to try. She told me that if I got through to him that I could tell him. I didn't want to.

When he didn't say anything and and when I heard the phone drop I knew he was not okay. When Zayn started talking to me and picked up the phone my head was spinning. I never want to deliver that news to anyone ever again. Zayn told me he was a bit cationic. Just staring off into space. Zayn has lost a grandparent before in this type of situation so I felt a little better that he was there was him. I just wanted to be there for him.

After I got a hold of Niall I booked the first flight to Dublin I could. I would be missing some school but this was more important. I know my professors would understand, I'd send them all e-mails when I arrived and try to keep up with course work as much as possible.

I had booked flights for Niall as my mom was packing my bags. Trying to get as much as she could in one bag so I didn't have to check anything and stay at the airport any longer than I needed to.

Denise was there to pick me up from the airport. She was a mess and I didn't know what to do to help her. I was too young to remember when my father passed, I had all four of my grandparents. I've never really been exposed to grief such as this.

It's just such a shock to everyone.

When I arrived at Chris and Maura's house, everyone was still awake. It was getting close to ten but Maura was grieving on the chair, slowly rocking back and forth with the sudden loss of her mom. Chris was sitting on the floor next to her, staring straight ahead. Not speaking as well.

Greg was upstairs with Theo, trying to get him to sleep. I found Denise in the kitchen, washing the dishes, trying to hold back tears. Everyone loved Margaret.

I didn't know what to do so I did what I know. I started cleaning. I took over for Denise, telling her to go upstairs and help out with Theo. I could hear him crying and screaming for her from down the steps. Once I finished with the dishes I just straightened up the kitchen, pulled a few things out from the fridge to prepare for breakfast tomorrow. This way everyone can just be, I can deal with the rest, it doesn't bother me one bit.

I make a small breakfast casserole, checking my phone and doing a quick calculation to see that Niall should be leaving for Dublin from the Philippines right now. I want to see him badly but I don't want to see him under these circumstances. I hate that he has to be by himself on a plan for the next fourteen hours.

I lean against the doorway of the living room, looking at Maura with such a heavy heart. I can't even imagine her pain.

“Why don't you try to rest.” I walk up to her and kneel at her feet, taking her hand in mine. She turns to me, almost a dead look in her eyes, dry from what I'm assuming crying too much.

“Erica.” She smiles slightly at me. “You didn't have to come.” She tells me, her voice empty.

“I need to be here.” I squeeze her her hand quickly and look to Chris. “You two should get to bed. I'll arrange things here.” I assure them as Chris nods, standing to take Maura's hand back to their room. Once they've left I clean up a bit more. I set laundry aside to be washed tomorrow and sit down at the table to make a list of things that need to be done. On the car ride here Denise had said that most of the family has been contacted but not a lot other than that. I just wanted things to be easier for the family. With how Maura is right now, how Niall was on the phone, and how I'm assuming Greg is I know they won't be able to do much and that's okay. I'm here to help in any way I can.

-----------------------
It's a fourteen hour flight from the Philippines to Dublin. Niall left a little after three am his time, meaning it was a little after five in the evening here. So we were expecting his flight to come in at 7:30 in the morning in Dublin. Then drive the hour plus to get here and be with family.

I was anxious to see him, we all wanted to go pick him up but I had arranged a car to do that instead, that way we'd have one extra car here and Niall didn't have to wait for us to meet him there. Plus I'm sure people have already gotten wind of Niall's grandmother passing so I'm guessing they're just waiting for him at the airport. I just want to talk to him.

I didn't sleep much. I finally decided to go to sleep a little after midnight after I fiddled around in the house, picking things up, planning things. It's like my coping skill. I was up at six. Anxious for Niall to get here and just generally trying to wake up before everyone else so they didn't have to do anything. I showered, started the coffee, and put the casserole in the oven.

And then I waited. I sat at the kitchen table, flipping through an old magazine, waiting for someone to wake up. It was already a little after seven when I heard the stairs creek just a little bit. I had turned the casserole off since it was done but I didn't want to dig in until more people were awake.

“Good morning.” Maura appeared at the door jam.

“Morning.” I look up and smile at her, she still looks tired so I know that even if she went to sleep early that she didn't get good sleep. I scoot my chair back and walk to hug her. The whole family gives good hugs.

“Thank you for coming Erica. You didn't have to but it means a lot that you're hear.” Her voice sounds a little horse, I'm assuming it's because of all the crying.

“I wanted to be here. I made breakfast and coffee. Have a seat.” I motion to her and walk into the kitchen, cut up the casserole and pour her some coffee. I already know she just likes it plain, no sugar, no creamer.

“Thank you.” She grasps my hand for a second and then turns to her food. “When does Niall get here?” She asks.

I check the time on my phone just to make sure. “He should be landing anytime now and then he has to take the car here. Security should be there, I arranged it all yesterday.” I sit at the chair next to her, pulling my legs up and leaning my head back.

“We have so much to do today.” I watch as Maura's shoulders slump just a bit, weighted down by all the things I can only assume are running through her mind.

“What do you have? I can help.” I offer my services. “I think I'm going to go to the grocery store today and pick up more food. I'll take care of all of that.” I promise.

“Oh thank you Erica.” I swear I can almost hear her making a list in her head. “I've got to talk to the florist, pick out an outfit for ma, talk to the priest and arrange services, I know she already has a plot next to dad so that's taken care of. I have to get food prepared for the luncheon after. Just so much.” Her chin starts to tremble and I can tell she's already overwhelmed as she tries to hold her tears.

“I'll talk to the florist, and the priest.” I offer before I can really think. “You just worry about other things.” I tell her. “I'll do it today when I go out for groceries.”

“This is a huge weight off my back Erica, thank you. I was thinking the wake on Monday night and the Funeral on Tuesday.” I nod, making a mental note.

“I'll talk to him.” I promise her as I hear more footsteps coming down the steps and around the corner.

“Hey Erica.” Greg gives me a one armed hug while holding an extremely happy Theo.

“Hi.” I smile and hold my arms out for Theo who lunges for me. I hug him briefly while following Greg into the kitchen to help with breakfast. It's already close to eight when my phone buzzes.

From Niall: In the car, should be there by 9

I want to see him so badly but I just don't know how he's going to be. I can't imagine how he feels. I know he'll be exhausted, he'll need a little bit of sleep as I don't know if he'll be able to stay up all day.

To Niall: K, I'll let everyone know.

His text is lacking his usual affection but it's not something to get upset about. I bounce Theo on my hip and hold his breakfast in the other hand as we walk back to the dining room to join everyone. I'm just not used to this sad atmosphere.

Notes

Hello hello! Hope everyone is doing well today, thank you all so much for the comments from yesterday's chapter, I know it was difficult to read but thank you for sticking with me. Death is never an enjoyable time in anyone's life.

Good news though, I've started a Zayn story, I'm just writing it, so it's not posted yet but be on the lookout once my Niall story is over. It might be my very last story so be sure to check it out!

Thank you all SO much for the votes, subscriptions, comments, and reads. It always means so much to me.

Check out my friend xRockMex's new Harry story Lost, she just started it and I think it's going to be amazing! :)

Happy Tuesday.

xoxox