Erica's POV

Today is my birthday. I'm finally 21, its not as big of a deal in the UK as much as it is here. Kristen has been dying to take me out to show me a good time. Plus she's been saying how difficult her courses have been so she's in need of a break.

I haven't talked to Niall in two months, while probably childish, I don't care. I know he's suffering, Zayn has told me countless times, but I just can't deal with it. I'm focused on work and I've never felt so free not having to think of Niall constantly. Ian is happy with Sloan, it hasn't even bothered me a bit, they're so cute together and mesh so well, it's obvious they're meant to be. I was only introduced in his life so I could introduce them.

My birthday falls on a Saturday so no work today. I can't believe that it's almost half way done anyway. I curl up on the couch, I've already talked to my mom and Allison, they're both in London now so it's safe to say they woke me up bright and early. I miss them so much.

“Happy Birthday!” Heath yells from down the hall. It's crazy living with someone that you don't know that much about. When Heath told me travels for his job I had no idea how much he actually did travel. He's gone at least once a week for a few days. And it's usually on the weekends so I spend quite a bit of time with Kristen, Sloan, and Raven. Which makes me more independent, I've done so many things since I've been here. I've visited Time's Square, the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, ran in 5k's and 10k's, countless museums, I've rock climbed, gone up to random strangers and chatted, I even spent an entire Saturday riding the train from one side of the city to the other and back again. And I've loved every single second.

Heath plops down next to me, I'm careful to not spill my tea. “So how's the birthday girl?” He elbows me lightly.

“I'm good, thank you.” I smile as he rips the remote out of my hand. He's very protective of his tv and watching Sports Center before he starts his morning. I don't mind, sometimes they talk about football or rugby. Sometimes.

“Kristen is coming over in a bit, we figured we would take you to lunch and head over to the Beer Festival. Kristen is so excited to get you all liquored up before she drags you to the bar. So eat lots of carbs now, soak it all up.” He laughs as I sit, a little nervous about today. I can hold my own, I've been drinking since I was 17 in London but suddenly it's like the first time all over again.

The doorbell buzzes and Heath pops up. “It's probably Kristen.” He buzzes it through and before he can speak someone speaks.

“Delivery for Mrs. Crowe.” Heath looks at me and I shrug my shoulders, Allison and mom never said anything about sending me something.

“Come on up.” Heath presses the buzzer that unlocks the door for long enough to allow a person to fit through as we wait. After a few minutes someone knocks on the door and Heath pulls it open. A massive bouquet of flowers covers the man holding it. I stand, shocked, but quickly regain my composure as I rush to my purse to pull some money out for a tip. “Thank you.” Heath grabs the arrangement as I sign and slip him the money. He nods his head and returns back down the hallway as I shut the door.

I turn to see that Heath is already digging for the card. He finds it easily but I snatch it from his hands and quickly open it.

Happy Birthday Erie.
I know you probably hate me, and you have every right to. Just know I'm so very sorry. I miss you, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Love,
Niall.

Niall? Of course he would know that my favorite flowers are daises. Well technically my favorite ones are tulips but they're not in season until at least March. I press the note to my chest, I'm taken back to know that he sent these to me.

“So who are they from?” Heath asks, inching closer to me to see the card. I pass it to him so he can just read it instead. It's short so he finishes quickly and looks up at me. “Niall? When's the last time you spoke to him?”

“The concert.” I walk over to the flowers and smell them. I have no idea how many are here, but it's well over a dozen. “He's called and text me but I can't seem to respond. I was so hurt by the things he's done, I just needed a break.” I smell more of them, I love the smell of flowers.

“Well obviously you mean something to him Erica. You haven't talked to him in almost three months and he's still thinking about you. He knows when your birthday is. I know married people that struggle with when their wives birthdays are.” I laugh but I know that Niall would never forget something like that. I sit next to the flowers and think. “Maybe you should call him.” Heath gets closer to me, as if he's trying to see the thoughts racing in my head. I quickly close my eyes and shake my head.

“No, I can't.

“Why not?” I know it's dumb, it's confusing, but I have to stick with my guns.

“Because, Heath. I've given him so many chances to tell me his feelings, and he just never did. The night before I came here, the night of the concert, and every day in between and he never did. He would hardly even ask what I'm doing when he called. It was all about him or where his stuff was. A girl gets tired of that after a while.” This is not what I needed today. It's everything I wanted, I can't hide my feelings, it's hard when he's everywhere.

“But you still like him.” Heath states a fact, even if he's confused at the whole situation.

“Well.” I pause and look at the flowers. “Yes.” I whisper.

“So it's not that hard. Call him up. Tell him thanks for the flowers, blah, blah ,blah, I love you, you love me, you're done. Simple as that.” I laugh at his candor. So honest.

“Not that simple Heath.”

“It is Erica. You're over thinking it.” He nudges me and walks past me, putting his coffee cup in the sink. “I'm going to go shower and get ready. You good?” I nod as he walks away, leaving me to my thoughts and my flowers. The buzzer rings again and Heath lets Kristen through the door before he continues. “Ask Kristen what she thinks.” I nod as he leaves.

Kristen bounces in like usual, holding a package. “Here, this is for you!” She hands it to me.

“You didn't have to get me a gift.” I take it from her.

“I didn't, I saw this on top of the mailboxes, I thought you should have it, maybe its for your birthday!” I examine it carefully, it's from London. I get anxious as I rip open the brown paper to see something smaller wrapped in tissue paper, peeling back the flimsy paper my hands instantly cover my mouth. “What is it?” Kristen looks over my shoulder, confused as to what it is.

“It's a picture of me and my dad.” I whisper, I pick it up carefully, I've never seen this picture before. It has to be from my mom. It's the day of us on the beach.

“Erica, it's from Niall.” Kristen tells me, holding a note with Niall's hand writing. How did he find this picture? I know I didn't leave it. I had one on my night stand in my flat but when the fire happened, it was gone. “That's really sweet.” She tells me, hugging me. “Happy Birthday.” She tip toe's away quickly down the hall, leaving me, still shocked, standing here.

I fiddle with my phone, I can't think of what I should do. I want to talk to him, I want to hear from him, I should thank him for the presents at least. I stand from the stool and start pacing nervously back and forth. It's been easy to ignore him. Out of sight out of mind but now he's here. He's always been here actually. He's still consuming my thoughts, I still see him in every blonde man I see. Every street performer reminds me of him. Every advertisement for singing contests on the tv reminds me of him. Walking past that Irish bar just a few blocks down, reminds me of Niall. He's everywhere.

I don't realize my hands are shaking as I unlock my phone and open my text messaging app. All of his last messages are still there, I can't seem to delete them. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my thumbs as I start to type.

To Niall: Thank you for the flowers and the picture, I'm speechless.

I know it's not much. I don't know what to say to someone who knows I've ignored them for so long. I'm surprised he even did something for me. I stare at the screen to see he's read it. I'm even more nervous for a response. I'm hoping he won't call, I'm not ready to hear his voice. It would break me.

From Niall: Happy Birthday Erie. I would do anything for you.

I fight back tears, one simple message and he still can't say it. I'm not going to be with someone who can't tell me how he feels. It's not fair to me. It's not fair to us.

Notes

Aww, how much do you love cute/thoughtful Niall? He's trying. Even if Erica doesn't want anything to do with him.

Hope you all are doing well, in typical Monday fashion, I'm tired. And I have three classes coming up all back to back, so thank god for naps. :)

Have a happy Monday!!

xoxoxo