Have you forgotten?
Somebody knocked on my door.
"Honey, you ready?", I heard Shirleen's voice asking from the other side of the door. I opened the door, letting her in.
"Shirleen, my things are packed, but I'm going on my own. I don't wanna work with these boys.", I said sitting on my bed, resting my head in my hands.
"What is wrong, Rafy? I knew, there was something, I just didn't want to push it.", she said sitting beside me, wrapping her arms around my small body.
"Shirleen, I can't work with HIM. His mother and my father was the reason for me and my mom to move to her hometown in Bulgaria and suffer so much.", I said, hiding my face in the crook of her neck.
"What? So that's how you know Harry. Before your father cheated with his mother?" Shirleen pulled us apart to look in my eyes.
"Well, not exactly. I mean, yeah, my dad cheated on my mom with Anne. And it wasn't only once. But that's not how I met Harry.", I said wiping the tears off my face. I hadn't realized, I have been crying.
"Tell me the whole story, please." Shirleen touched my shoulder in comfort. I had never told the whole story to anyone. Not even Harry. He is clueless, why I left like that. But I trust Shirleen. She's been like a mother to me for the last two years.
"Ok, here it goes. When my mom got married to my dad, they decided to stay in my mother's country.
I was born there and I lived there till the age of 5. That's when we moved to England.
You already know, that my dad is English and he already had a house in Cheshire.
So when we moved to England I had start school immediately.
English language wasn't very unfamiliar for me, cause my dad has been teaching me a couple of things, but it was still a bit difficult for me to communicate. That's when I met Harry.
He had straight blonde hair, big green eyes and a lovely smile.
We started playing together at school every day and little by little I learned English perfectly in a year.
I and Harry were neighbours. If he jumped from his balcony, he would be able to land straight in mine without any problem.
We played every day after school as well, until we became inseparable. He became my best friend and I became his.
We were always spending time together, we were always helping each other and all.
Then, after we turned 16, he wanted me to be his girlfriend. It was the 17th of November 2010.
He was already getting famous. I said yes, but with a condition: He didn't have to tell anybody, not even his bandmates.
I didn't want anybody to know. I just never liked being in the center of the rumours. And right then, he was in the middle of every single rumour.
He agreed for us to be a secret and we started dating. We were together for about two years.
Then, on his 18th birthday, he came home and said, he wanted for us to go out somewhere.
I agreed. I put on a very tight red dress and black high heels.
My mom didn't approve the way I dressed up for the night, but Harry convinced her, that it's ok and that he will be taking care of me.
She trusted him, so she let me be. We had a dinner, then we went to a hotel. Luckily nobody saw us together.
Then this night I gave him a very special birthday gift - my virginity.
I was very proud of myself for giving it exactly to him. I thought, that he was the one.
I was so stupid. But honestly, I still don't regret doing it.
Whatever, a couple of months later my mom caught my father in bed with Anne.
My parents started fighting and that night..." I sobbed, remembering everything. I couldn't stop the tears.
"My dad beat my mom for the first time ever. He beat her pretty bad and then left.
I tried calling Harry the same night. I don't even know why. I thought, that I would just feel better by hearing his voice. I called him in skype and he picked up.
He told me, he was too busy for a relationship and he said, that we should stay friends like before. I agreed and hung up.
The next morning my mom and me left with the first plane to Bulgaria without looking back once.
We changed our phone numbers and all. I hadn't seen Harry since I disappeared then. I even tried to avoid him until now.
A month after our breakup, I saw pictures of him with other girls.
I was broken. He told me, he didn't have the time for relationships and here he was a month later, snogging a cheap whore on the street.
I felt anger, frustration, everything, you name it. That's when you came.
And I became, what I am now.
I bought my mom an apartment, so she wouldn't have to live in her parents' house anymore.
They were all against her and me there.
They didn't want us there.", I finished and looked to Shirleen, who was crying.
"What have I done?", she whispered in horror.
"It's not your fault.", I said rubbing her back
"Yes, it is. If I only knew. I was the one to ask for this stupid contract and then I thought, you would gonna have some fun, cause you haven't really hung out with people your age. Now it makes sense. Why you never go on dates, and your reaction at the studio..." She sobbed.
"Shirleen, what will happen, if we break the contract?", I asked. She looked at me, her eyes full with tears.
"We can't break it. If we do it, they will take all we have. Everything", she said wiping her eyes.
"What do you mean with everything?", I asked confused.
"Well, if we break the contract, we will have to give them 30 million pounds. We have the money, but we have to use it for your next music video and then your next album and all.", she explained.
Well, seems like I can't give up. But if I have to stay with him, then I will make him suffer. Payback baby...
Sorry for any mistakes.
And sorry for not updating for so long.
I have to tell you, that I won't be able to update very often, only about two times a week. Sorry.
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