Greetings @kkgal14!!!! I have just concluded reading Picture Perfect, and let's just say I was VERY pleased at this level of writing! It actually took me a good 10 minutes to think of anything to review on, that's how much I thoroughly enjoyed it!

1. Adding more detail- you actually did a good job of adding detail, but I feel like you just add a tad more.
2. Don't be afraid to get too intimate- between Harry and Lucy, you really don't have to be afraid to get too intimate, it's more of not getting too intimate to quick. Ya know, just take your time.

That's all I can really critique on!
I was actually really disappointed when it said that there was no more chapters, so keep those chapters coming!

I'm going to tell you a few things that I just absolutely LOVED about your story:

1. The beginning: I loved how you played off Harry as a complete jerk, and how they both hated each other, and then how you make them slowly become friends- definitely had good pace on that build-up.
2. The Love triangle- I LOVED how you put in Connor, especially when they meet at that bar, it just got me so excited!

I HIGHLY suggest that you read these to just get a feel of other stories to maybe incorporate some of the ideas into your story:
Visiting Hours -WARNING! HIGHLY emotional.
Beautiful Monster -Rated 'R' for a reason. (But this is my FAV fanfiction, I've read it a good 10 times)
Opposties Attract
Young Minds, Young Love

I hope you really like those stories as much as I do, but it would be REALLY good for your writing (Even though it's at a VERY high level) for the story just to get a feel for some ideas,

This story is REALLY good!
PLEASE keep up the superb work lovely!

X, Chels

Notes