Reviews! :D

Hello @Irish_Snowflakes! So, I've come up with just a few things I thought about this story.
Surprisingly this one was actually was a good one!

Add:
1. Lay off a little bit of the risque so early in this story. To be very specific, I thought that them having their tops off this early in the story was a little much.
2. More Detail -I feel like you need to have just have a little more detail in this story, just to give the readers more information, and not confuse them (I felt a little confused during this story).
3. Re-read it before you submit it- I would highly, highly , suggest that once you're done with writing your chapter, that you re-read it. I really, really hate being picky, but there are quite a lot of grammar mistakes, and it confuses readers big time. Just take 3 or 4 minutes and just re-read it, just to make sure you're putting in there what you want to be put in :)
4. This is very, very picky, but I would give the characters outfits. I have the whole procedure on the chapter before this one, but I highly, highly, highly, recommend it.
5. Have fun with it! If you're not having fun with this story, then you're putting your all into it, and it really bores readers. Trust me, I can tell you're having a TON of fun writing this story, it's just a helpful thing for the future!- If you are not having fun with it (In the future), then you can do these things:
1. Put in new characters.
2. Write-out some characters.
3. Move the setting somewhere different.
4. Have a new love interest come into one of the main characters lives.
5. This is the absolute LAST possibility, but MAYBE just write a whole new story.........But I do NOT recommend it.

This story is REALLY good, and really coming along. If you just follow the steps I have listed above, I really feel like this story could be really really good.

I highly suggest reading these stories:
Notorious -waring, very VERY brutal.
The Dangerous One
Beautiful Monster -(This is my favorite fanfic EVER)
Dark -Definitely one of the best in this webstie

I wish you the BEST of luck on everything! I'm subscribed to Better Than Words, and I'm SUPER excited to see what you will do next!!!!!!! :DDDD

X, Chels

Notes