Kate's POV
1 year later

I had caught wind that Louis had gotten engaged. I was happy for him. He made his decision and that's all I could do. I'm not going to lie I was upset, but this is something that I couldn't control. I'm not ready to invest emotionally in someone else, and even though Louis was someone I could see myself with, I'm not ready, and he wasn't ready to wait.

So I put on a brave face. No one knew about Louis and I, except, I'm assuming his bandmates. And I did let it slip when I felt I was half comatosed with Dottie. She was supportive, telling me that everything happens for a reason and maybe one day we'll be connected again.

But I didn't chalk anything up to that.

Even if fate kept pushing us together, you still had the power to walk away. No matter how many times we accidentally met, one of us still chose to walk away. Guess we're not very good listeners.

From what I've seen on twitter and magazine articles, Louis is happy. When I came home to the States, even if Tennessee isn't our home, I got a new number. An American number, and I felt it best to not let Louis know of it. Dottie had it, we kept in contact regularly but Louis and I needed a clean break.

When we arrived at St. Jude's it's a whirlwind. Just emotion everywhere. People coming and going, passing, and staying. Ringing the bell to signal their finally cancer free as new children are being wheeled past ready to start the fight of their lives.

The first thing we did was surgery. Surgery to remove as many tumors as we could. It was long. It was exhausting. It was humbling. I spent hours on my knees in prayer. I didn't even practice religion but when it comes to putting your daughters life in someone else hands, you do what you have to. You ask for a miracle.

She had a chemo port put in during that surgery.

Her second chemo port. It broke my heart. I didn't think my heart could be broken anymore.

Next came the stem cell transplant. We stayed at the hospital for close to a month. As soon as we got out, Olivia caught a cold, because her white blood count was down, it quickly progressed from a common cold to pneumonia.

We spent two weeks in an isolation unit. Every moment was terrifying. Any moment she could have fallen asleep and not woken up. But she was tough, she survived.

Then it was the chemo. The terrible chemotherapy that would wreck havoc on her body. Send it contorting in pain when she would throw up. Shaking with pain. They tried to give her medicine to control the side effects but nothing seems to fully work. Some days were better then the others. Usually day three after her dose was the hardest. Day five was when things would start looking up, then two days later she would get another treatment.

For six months.

Every week.

All of her hair fell out again. Just as it had started to grow back. She took it like a champ. My parents had sent her colorful wigs. She loved having long pink hair, or short purple hair. She would tell everyone it was her real hair color. She was always trying to smile.

Everyone thought I was her rock. When really Olivia was the one that pulled me through. Everyday she would smile. Everyday she would laugh. Everyday she would love.

Next was the radiation. They were trying to shrink that large tumor away. If we could get that tumor away then we would be doing okay. We might survive.

I had tried to distract myself.

I was wanted for more speaking events since I was back in the States and I did a few, but only if Olivia was well enough to come with me and my mom could come to sit with her. I only went at most an hour away from the hospital.

We had set backs.

We had break troughs.

In the end it was Olivia that was everyone's hero. It was her bravery that pushed others to keep fighting. That is what they will always remember about her.

One of my favorite songs comes on the radio as I wipe tears from my eyes thinking of that difficult time in my life. Before I pull out of the parking lot I sit back and listen to the song, for once really listen and take it in like the air that I breath.

A bright sunrise will contradict
The heavy fault that weighs you down.
In spite of all the funeral songs
the birds will make their joyful songs

You'll wonder why the earth still moves
You'll wonder how you'll carry on.

But you'll be okay, on that first day, when I'm gone.

Dusk will come, with fireflies and whippoorwills and crickets call
And every star will take its place and silvery gown and purple shawl.

You'll lie down on our big bed
Dread the night and dread the dawn.

But you'll be alright on that first night, when I'm gone.

You will reach for me in vain.
You'll be whispering my name.

As if sorrow were your friend
And this world so alien

But life will call, with daffodils
And morning glorious blue skies

You'll think of me, some memory
And softly smile at your surprise.

And even though you love me still, you will know where you belong.

Just give it time. We'll both be fine. When I'm gone.

We played that song at James' funeral. It's like he always likes to remind me he's still here to help me get through.

I will always remember the last words the doctor has spoken to me about Olivia. She said, “Kate-”

“Mommy! Let's go!” My attention get's averted to the beautiful girl with a pixie haircut and a beaming smile in the seat behind me.

The doctor said, “Kate, she's cancer free.” And my heart as never been more full.

Notes

Hopefully I had you guys guessing till the end of this chapter. :) And the song I mentioned is actually a country song, one of my favorite cousins favorite so I have to listen to it all the time if I go visit her. It's by Joey and Rory if you want to look it up, called When I'm gone.

All your comments from last chapter made my day. Love you all.

What's next for Kate and Olivia? For Louis?

xoxoxox