I was relaxed, listening to the soothing instrumental music that echoed in this solitary room. I glanced at posters of perfectly white smiles and grew a tad enthusiastic that I too would have one of these. Having my braces taken out a couple months earlier was the best news I could have received for such a gloomy beginning to my winter. Normally my favorite season, this would be the coldest winter ever; and I don't mean as in temperature.

After an hour of pricking and pulling, fist clenching and holding, spraying and filing; I was done. It was the weirdest and coolest sensation ever to pass my tongue on a smooth surface. My teeth were free, and now it was time for me to be too. Mom anticipated my exit into the waiting room with her camera at hand for our first picture without my metallic teeth. She seemed eager for more quality time together. I think she was just trying to do her best to fix my broken heart.

I heard the best remedy for sadness was to either go shopping or get a makeover. And while I was in the mood for neither I agreed to the makeover…as long as it wasn'tdrastic. I told my mother about ¼ of my love story; I saw the boy I thought I loved dating another girl that I despised. That was enough to give her the heads up on how awful I had been feeling for the past week. It was my first heartbreak and as depressing as that word was, I felt it also necessary for growing up.

Now I sat in another chair in a room full of content strangers embracing change. Facing my image in the mirror; light eyesthat no longer shimmered, beige skin without a healthy glow, hair...no comment. It was flat, without shine and body… kind of like me. The stylist began to toss it around, I assume envisioning its potential, if any. My dullone length auburn hair fell half way down my back, thiswas MY look aside from the ponytail, but I was done with that as well.

"Let's go a shade brighter, to cover this…" she separated my silver streak. "And we can warm up your complexion by adding some nice golden highlights.. . I think I'm going to go add some layers to give you a lift. What do you think?" she looked thru the mirror studying my reaction.

With my first chance to show of my new smile, I consented. Meanwhile, this outward change needed some inward changing to match it. Remembering last week's disaster, I don't know how I woke up the next day with the strength to get out of bed. Like a Tin Man, I carried on heartless so that I could get on with my life; or at least make it to work. There I faked a smile all morning through and was delighted to see two faces come visit me, but not to answer their questions.

Louis and Lilah kept staring at me as though I were about to commit suicide with an ice cream scooper. I stared back thinking where they've come from, what they've been through. Louis recovered from a cheating witch and Lilah . . . I didn't know her story yet. Now they seemed to have found each other, with my help, but something beautiful had come from such a horrible mess. And that's the kind of mentality I needed…hope.

Louis remained clueless as to who Ana was. After I ran off, while they were still dancing, Izzy and Harry made their own disappearing act as well. Although Louis would be the first person I'd run to with the news, I decided to close the case. I was done with Izzy and Harry; otherwise I'd never be free from her evil clutches.

Sticking to my story, I explained that I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn't stand watching Harry with his date. I didn't want to ruin their, Louis and Lilah's night, so I left on my own. Their sympathetic smile at my selfless act was enough to actually consider the ice cream scooper suicide after all. But it was nice to know that I had friends that cared for me; I wasn't alone this time.

As far as the winter festival, I did my part and handed over the rest of the duties to Louis. Lilah, already on winter break, assisted him on the minor details. I had excused myself; I wanted to stay away from Izzy as much as possible. I couldn't believe how someone I thought so close was now my greatest adversary.

"I have a great idea; let's spend Christmas week up at Big Bear," my mother interrupted me out of my thoughtful daze.

That did sound like a wonderful idea; anything to get out of here for a while. The hair dresser had finished blow drying my hair and spun me around to observe my transformation. I was wowed. I felt beautiful, it did help jump start my attitude; as vain as that sounds. But you girls can relate, right? Not that I was hiding who I was, but I was kind of glad to see that streak gone.

"I love it! Where to next?" I asked my mother more enthusiastic than before.

---

"You're not alone, there is more to this I know…You can make it out…You will live to tell."

I sang to the lyrics coming from the car radio; words of strength and brighter days. After my mother filled up the gas tank we were well on our way to Big Bear. Over our two and a half hour drive, she did nothing but suggest plenty of ideas of things to do. I thought the snowboarding lessons sounded interesting.

We checked into our cozy little cabin and the first thing I did was raise the heat; I was freezing. The Christmas spirit filled our surroundings, from the lobby to our room, we inhaled the fresh pine scent and marveled at the colorful and festive decorations. Once unpacked, we made a tentative schedule for our week, making sure we did as much as this place had to offer.

Our first activity was a soothing massage and then a hearty dinner, sitting by the window facing the lake. Afterwards we sulked in the hot tub and called it a day. I had been texting Louis and Lilah a few times and invited them to come up, to which they agreed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow as I had my first snowboarding lesson and my mother was taking up skiing.

---

I was finishing my hot chocolate, geared up with my rental suit and waiting on my instructor.

"Hey Brynn, right on time. Are you ready?" he asked.

I sprinted to my feet and followed him anxiously. We arrived at a somewhat secluded area, surrounded by a few kids and their parents. I didn't stick out at all, yeah right! There he had another guy waiting with our snowboards. I'll tell you what though, instructors have plenty of patience to teach because my progress was going nowhere. Between tumbling forward and slipping backward on my butt each time I got up, I was sore and discouraged much sooner than I anticipated. Finally towards the end, I managed to glide for a grand total of 5 feet…victory!

My instructor was very helpful and did I forget to mention funny? He truly made this new experience worthwhile. We took a lunch break and headed back towards the lodge to get the amazing bread bowl soups he kept gushing about.

At our table we removed our sunglasses, beanies and coats. Then all of a sudden we paused with silly expressions on our faces and laughed.

"I knew I heard that name before!" he smiled.

"This is crazy! How are you?"

"I'm good. I never thought I'd see you again though."

"I don't know why it didn't click in my head when I heard the name Keith," I announced.

Small world, it was the blonde guy I had gone out on a 'date' with just to accompany Izzy on hers. I remembered what a jerk Niall was that night, full PDA and all. But I also remembered how funny Keith was and him being the only reason why that night wasn't a complete flunk.

"How long have you been giving lessons here?" I continued.

"I do it every winter break. My folks own a cabin here, so I stay here over most of the break. I thought about you the other day, I saw a girl that looked just like you with braces and all. But I do see you don't have them anymore. I think that's why I didn't recognize you right away."

"Yeah, I had them removed a few days ago. I still can't get used to it."

"You don't miss them right?" he chuckled.

"Of course not!"

"Well you look good! Wow, this was a fun surprise…"

We chatted some more over our hot meal and agreed to hangout again once my friends came. I had the option of continuing our lesson after lunch or meet again the next morning. So I opted for another dip in the hot tub; my butt hurt too much to kiss the frozen ground again. Keith kindly paid for my food and he made sure I left with his number.

I wasn't jumping in my rental pants just yet. I simply thought it was nice to see a friendly face and enjoy a couple of laughs, which I so desperately needed. It turns out that he was only an acquaintance of Niall, as he was conned into going with his buddy on that 'date' too.

Louis had kept me updated on his growing friendship with Lilah. Not a spec of jealousy stirred in me as he shared these details. On the contrary, I began to see him as a brother. Lilah was taking things extremely slow too. It was better for both of them. Sometimes I felt tempted to ask how her cousin was doing, but then I figured it was best that I didn't know.

---

I met up with Keith again the following day and told him my friends would be joining us. After another battle with gravity and snow, I managed to do better this time. Many times he'd grab my hand or waist to help me along. And alas, I was laughing and felt cured of all temporary sadness. Laughter is the best medicine after all.

Finally Louis and Lilah arrived, except they already knew how to snowboard so I was still the sore thumb out of the bunch. That didn't stop me from having a good time. A few hours later we went back to the lodge and decided to get in the hot tub together this time.

Lilah found out that I was Brynn; Louis had told her before they visited me at work that day. Knowing that, she kept all talk of Harry to a minimum. But Keith on the other hand, began asking questions about Niall and Izzy, creating awkward tension as none of us cared to answer them.

"We have them on our black list right now, so we don't talk about them anymore," I gave a flat smile.

"Oh sorry. It's just I heard from my friend, the guy I was with that night at the movies, that she was spotted at some birthday party with another guy. But she's been dating a buddy of mine since October. I heard rumors about her but that's just messed up, dating two guys from different colleges."

"Do you know what the other guy's name is?" Louis asked very suspicious.

"I can't remember. Mark and I go to UCLA though, and I know the other guy's from Long Beach," Keith said, looking as though her were caught in the middle of something.

Louis kept looking at me strangely, like the puzzle pieces were starting to fit together. I kept silent and acted as though I knew as much information as he did. But apparently he knew me better than I thought. Was this hot tub too hot or was I in the hot seat?

"Was this birthday party held at The Queen Mary a week ago?" Louis confirmed.

"Yeah that's the one! It was like a costume party or something."

"That's why you left!" Louis eyes grew angry as he stood up.

"Wait, I'm lost. What's going on?" Lilah added.

"Ana is Izzy! The girl I was telling you about, my ex," Louis answered her.

"Wait? Izzy as in Niall's sister?" her eyes darted at me. "You knew and you didn't care to mention this?"

"What I really wanted was to forget all about it. But it seems like Izzy keeps tormenting me even when she's not around." I wanted to drown in the hot water.

"Did I say something wrong here?" Keith was too confused to keep up.

"I can understand, Brynn," Louis squeezed my shoulder.

"NO! Have we forgotten that not only is SHE Niall's sister but that whore is dating my cousin and cheating on him at the same time…hello?!" Lilah argued.

Lilah got out of the hot tub, wrapped a towel around her waist and reached for her phone. She left, I don't know where to, while Louis's face said it all.

"I'm sorry Brynn, why didn't you tell me? I mean I know why now, but …damn it!" he was clearly angry for me.

He left to find Lilah and when I turned to look at Keith…well… he refused to ask any more questions.

"Don't worry you're not in trouble, if anything you somewhat helped or made things worse. I don't know." I chuckled.

"Somewhat? Looks like a cannon just went off. I'm really sorry if I put you on the spot there," he sighed.

Louis came back and said that Lilah couldn't get a hold of Harry yet. And while she desperately wanted to find him she didn't want to leave me. I thought that was incredibly sweet of her. Louis wanted to get a room at one of the cabins but you had to be 18 or older to reserve one, thankfully Keith offered him to stay at his place since he was there alone. I suggested that Lilah stay with me since I knew my mother wouldn't object to it.

A part of me was glad that Harry would soon learn the truth about his girlfriend but I was also terrified at what Izzy would do to me afterwards. How could I face her back at school? Was it too late to consider homeschooling? I'd go away to boarding school or boot camp at this point.

I couldn't sleep that night, knowing that tomorrow I would possibly see Harry again and that our last encounter didn't turn out so well. I'm not sure I even wanted to see him knowing that he and Izzy had… I wanted to vomit. And then I thought why I was a game but that slut got to date him officially. If it weren't for Niall I would've had another chance with Harry. I wish he never existed. Then again, if it weren't for Niall I wouldn't have met Harry at all.

---

My mother woke me up with breakfast in bed. I stretched and looked over at the clock…11:15 already?

"Where's Lilah?" I asked once I hadn't seen her.

"Oh she got a phone call and left over an hour ago," she stated.

"And no one woke me?" I said disappointed.

"She didn't want to, said she'd be back later."

Just then I heard a knock at the door.

My mother answered and Lilah stammered in after greeting her.

"Wow, you are not going to believe this! So Louis was trying to call Izzy last night nonstop and of course she didn't answer. And after my hundredth text, Harry finally responded worried that something had happened to me because all I said was to call me, that it was an emergency. But I had given him Louis's number too-" she was talking faster than she could keep up and took another deep breath. "I slept through the first missed calls so Harry called Louis. Then drove up here around 9 and well the rest you know," she finished and huffed.

"So Louis told him?" I asked, looking at my mother who was wide eyed and still.

"Well, we both did. He told him that Izzy was Niall's sister though. And of course he was furious!"

"Where is Harry now?"

"There was no convincing him to stay, he left right away…Are YOU okay though?"

"I am now. I feel Harry needed to know, but I didn't want to be the one to tell him," I covered my face, blown away by this 'good' morning.

I walked slowly to the bathroom and heard someone follow.

"Brynn, do you want me to stay? I can if you need me to."

I took Lilah's hand to walk her in before closing the door. "You should go back with Louis, I'll be alright. But can I ask you a personal question?" She nodded right away. "Why does Harry hate Niall so much?"

Lilah cleared her throat and I immediately noticed her inhale and exhale very carefully.

"Please keep this between us, Louis doesn't need to know."

"You have my word," I nodded this time.

"2 years ago, I met Niall through a mutual friend and we dated for a while. He was my first . . . but I found out he was sleeping with another girl at the same time. I was devastated and depressed for several months. I told Harry, and being the overprotective cousin that he is, he wanted confront him but I lied about where Niall lived. And though I've moved on, Harry refuses to."

Now I understood why Harry despised Niall so much. And though this information helped me, it also made me realize why Harry would never give me another chance . . .ever.


It was Christmas Eve and I wanted to spend the day alone with my mother. All Louis, Lilah and Keith did was remind me of what awaited me back home. I knew my mother wanted an explanation but to my surprise all she did was hold me.

Notes

Keith- snowboard instructor


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