If You Don't Know

It’s been 2 weeks since Chase was at our window, we were staying at the lake house. I was going crazy. I couldn’t sleep because all my dreams would be of him. I got threatening e-mail and the cops won’t do shit. It’s ridiculous really. Hannah and Oli had been here a lot, and Oli only goes out when he has to. He can hardly even practice with his band. Austin has been here a lot too, when they leave someone has to stay here, so Austin comes. He pretty much lives here. We watch movies together, he’s like the cool older brother I never had.

Ashton and I have Skyped every night and we text all the time. I swear I’m going crazy though, my depression as at an all-time high, and I can’t keep the blade off of me. They told me they love me, but they might have to take me to a psych house for a while, to keep me safe, from myself, and Chase, but I know they won’t, they would never. They know how I’ve been treated in those homes.

~Go ahead rip my heart out, if you think that’s what love is all about…~ my phone rang, and I answered the Skype call with Ashton.
Him: Hey Tori, how are you?
Me: I’m okay I guess, going crazy. *Awkward laugh*
Him: Seen Chase today?
Me: Haven’t left the house. Austin won’t take me out.
Him: Awe babe, I’m sorry. The mates say hi.
Me: Hi guys. How are you Ash?
Him: Pretty good. Missing you. Just 3 more months’ babe.
Me: Yeah I know *Smile* I miss you so much.
Him: God I know. Have you been…?
Me: Cutting? Trying not to.
Him: That’s good.
Austin: Tori DINNER TIME!!!!!
Me: I have to go.
Him: Alright, I love you. Stay safe. Stay strong. And don’t forget you’re beautiful. And worth it.
Me: I love you too baby. Sleep well.

The call ended. I walked into the kitchen, where Austin, Oli, and Hannah were all sitting at the table. I stopped before sitting down. What was going on? I sat down and picked at my vegan pea salad. I wasn’t hungry though, I was way too upset lately. I hadn’t really been eating a lot, and I’ve lost a lot of weight. Good I guess. “Tori.” Oli finally spoke. “What is it Oli?” I hissed, I didn’t mean to be mean, I’ve just been so antsy lately. “Sorry, what’s up?” I repeated. “Hannah and I have been talking…” He paused and couldn’t speak, so Hannah did, “Tori, we love you. We all do. And we think it’d be best if-” I cut her off. I knew what she was going to say. “No! I’m not going into a psych house! No!” I shouted, crying. “Tori.” Austin spoke. “NO!” I shouted and ran off. I ran, and I ran. I was at Oli and Hannah’s other house, 20 minutes away before I stopped.

All of our cars were out front. I just stood there. Hoping that maybe, one person would show up. Sweep me off my feet. And take me away. Love me, care for me. Everything I wanted. But I know the only person who would is Chase. I was in my pajamas. Walking the streets. I looked like a fucking hooker. I decided that I’d just get a hotel room for the night. I decided I’d call Ashton, to keep my company.

We talked all the way to the hotel, then into the hotel room, and then an hour or so while I sat in the hotel room. “Hey babe, I got to go. Show time. I love you.” He said. I could hear the smile in his voice. “Alright. I love you too.” I said and hung up. I sat in the hotel room and flipped through the TV channels. There was absolutely nothing on. I sighed loudly and turned it off. There was a knock on the door. I looked through the peep hole and slowly stepped back. I didn’t know what to do. So I hid under the bed. Ew it was gross under here, but oh well.

“Tori? Are you in there?” Chase said through the door. Pretty soon I heard the door open. How did he get in?! “Tori, are you here? We need to talk.” He growled. I tried to silently breathe, but it wasn’t working as well as I hoped. If Ashton were too magically show up, right now would be a good time. “Tori?!” Another voice shouted. It sounded like Austin, but I wasn’t sure. “Whoa who are you?” Chase asked. “Get the fuck out!” The other voice shouted. I tried to peak out from under the bed, and all I saw was feet running away. I couldn’t tell who was left.

“Tori, come out. It’s Austin.” The voice said and helped me out from under the bed. “They weren’t going to send you away.” He sighed and made me check out of the room. “Then what were they going to do?” I hissed. “They were going to let you fly to America and go tour with 5 Seconds of Summer. The band already said it was okay.” Austin awkwardly laughed and I threw my hands up in the air, “Why did you guys not tell me this!? WHY DID ASHTON NOT TELL ME THIS?!” I shouted. “Ashton doesn’t know yet either sweetheart. They think it’s best, especially to keep you safe.”

“We can’t go back to the safe house today.” I whispered and stopped. The footsteps, other than Austin’s stopped too. “Why?” He replied. “Listen.” I said and started walking again, and so did the other footsteps. Austin pulled out a gun and I jumped. “Listen here asshole. Back the fuck off before I shoot your sorry ass.” Austin hissed and Chase popped out of the shadows. Austin had the gun pointed straight at him. “Whoa man, put it down.” Chase laughed and Austin growled. “Run.” Austin said and I ran off.

I ran to the beach house, hoping that Austin was okay. “Guys I’m so sorry…” I said and hugged Hannah and Oli. “It’s okay love. I understand. Where’s Austin?” Oli asked. “Chase was following us… Austin held him off with a gun…” Oli grabbed keys and got into the car and started driving off. “Come on, let’s go pack.” Hannah sighed and helped me pack up my clothes. About an hour later, the door opened and Austin and Oli were there. Hannah and I ran up and hugged them. “Are you guys okay?!” Hannah shouted and they nodded. “Is Chase dead…?” I asked. They shook their head no.



~Later that night, 2 in the morning~


I sat in the Manchester Airport, waiting for my 7 hour flight. “We’ll see you soon. You have to call us all the time. Text us too.” Oli said and hugged me. Hannah hugged me tightly and told me she’d miss me. Austin was going to come with me. But he would fly back to LA, after spending a day in New York with me and the boys. Austin was a really cool guy, but just as annoying as an older brother. Him and I boarded the plane. We were first class, Hannah said she refused to let us fly anything else.

~7 hours later~

We were in New York! The plane landed safely and we got our bags. “Why are we even here?” I heard a voice ask. I look around and see the boys standing there with smiles on their faces, except Luke, he looked kind of pissed. I motioned for them to keep the blindfold on and ran up to Ashton. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him passionately. “Whoa lady, back off, I got a girl.” He said and I laughed. “Hey baby.” I cooed as I took off his blindfold. He immediately loosened up and hugged me tightly. “Oh my god Tori.” He smiled as he hugged me.

“Good to know you’re loyal.” I winked and Austin walked up. “Guys you know Austin! He’s headed to LA tomorrow.” I smiled and Austin told them hi. “I can’t believe you’re here.” Ashton said and kissed me again. “It came to a surprise to me too.” I laughed as we broke apart. “Alright, alright, we get it, you’re happy to be together again!” Michael shouted playfully.

We all walked outside and to the bus. I kept looking behind us. I just feel like he’s here. “He’s not here Tori.” Austin said and I sighed. “I know, it just feels like it.” We got onto the bus and I sat down on the couch. “Haven’t been on one of these in a while.” Austin laughed. “Haha, yeah.” I replied. “We have a super fun day planned.” Calum winked. “Tori, can we talk?” Luke asked and I nodded.
We went into the back room and he closed the curtain, “What’s up Luke?” I asked and he frowned. “Listen, I was drunk off my ass…” He said. “Dude it’s cool. I totally understand. We cool?” “We cool.” He laughed and we walked back out. I sat on the couch next to Ashton and cuddled up with him. “I’ve missed you.” He said and I smiled, “You have no idea.” I laughed and kissed his head.

Notes