Pleaseeeee read the Notes at the bottom xx

*Luna's POV*

I haven't been able to sleep much since I finished watching the video. I fell asleep for a little, but woke up around 2 am and I haven't been able to sleep since. It's almost 3 now and all I honestly want is to visit Bryan. I have to leave this flat that has held so many memories tomorrow and it just hurts to look around and remember everything I've been through, good and bad, and not have Bryan say goodbye with me.

I decide that I want to visit Bryan's grave one more time. I went yesterday with everyone to say our final goodbyes, but I left feeling like I hadn't spent enough time with him. We were there for about an hour, but I didn't get any alone time to really say everything I wanted to say.
I jump out of bed trying to be as quiet as possible in order to not wake up everyone. Sol is in the room right next to me and since her recent break up with Mikey, she doesn't sleep much. I love Mikey, he's like a brother to me, but I know he hurt my sister a lot. She gave him everything and she really thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, everyone did honestly, even Mikey
.
Bryan's death took a toll on everyone and that band is like a family, it wasn't just me who lost someone so important to them, the boys lost a brother and my sister and Serena lost one of their best friends, someone they could count on for anything. We were all an extended family. Jesse, Mikey, Jeremy, and Zach are honestly family, that's why I can't hate Mikey for what he did to my sister. I'm very hurt and disappointed, but if Sol wasn't my sister and he had done what he did to her to some random girl, I would not drop him because he's family.

After Bryan died everyone went into a frenzy. Mikey became a little distant from my sister and when the tour was finished he started sleeping around with other women in Cali. I know it was meaningless sex and he didn't have any feelings for those women, but my sister just couldn't handle knowing that the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with would rather sleep around than confront his feelings. He told her he was sorry, but that he didn't think he would stop, that he loved her, but didn't want to be tied down, so they broke up about two months ago. He and I spoke about it later on and he told me he regretted what he said and that he honestly wanted to be with her again, but the fact of the matter was that he felt that he was so destroyed about everything with Bryan that he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions, that he will ruin their relationship before he has a chance to make it better. He says that as soon as we move to England, he'll start seeing a psychologist in order to work out his problems and hopefully be able to have a decent relationship with Sol like he used to. I hope it's true because we are a family and we had enough with Bryan dying, I don't know how much longer I can handle them avoiding each other or being completely awkward when they have no choice but to be around each other.

I think that's also why yesterday didn't feel special when visiting Bryan's grave. Sol and Mikey had to be around each other and everyone could feel the tension.

I've finally slid on my favourite skinnies and Bryan's The NBHD hoodie because it's a bit chilly. I grab my phone, keys and wallet and walk out my bedroom. As soon as I get close enough to the front door to leave without being noticed, Sol comes out.

"Hey, Lu. Where ya going?" She looked at me through sleepy eyes and I know it's not because she's sleepy, but sleep deprived.

"I'm just gonna visit Bry. I felt like I didn't give him a proper goodbye yesterday."

"Oh okay. Do you want me to go with you?"

"Thanks for the offer, Sunshine, but I honestly just want some alone time with him." I don't want to sound rude by not inviting her, but I just really want to be alone.

"That's fine. I should've guessed yesterday wasn't a proper way for you to say goodbye." She chuckled a little trying to lighten the mood. I mean, I am about to go visit my dead boyfriend and talk to his grave and pretend like I actually believe in God so that maybe he could be in heaven listening to me, responding in some way. As I was about to say goodbye and head out, Sol interrupts me one more time.

"Hey, umm, I know you hate when I say this because you're so stubborn, but why don't you take Lance with you?" Lance is my body guard. This past year hasn't been all bad. Sol, Serena, and I managed to make it pretty big. We were pretty famous for our modelling and I wrote some songs that Jesse helped me record and people really seemed to like them, a couple of them even play on the radio. I have to finish writing the album, but my wonderful management team understand what I've been going through and as long as I release one more single, they are giving me three months from the day I am settled in London to have it completed. I have also been on a couple of TV shows and I will be one of the lead roles in an upcoming film. I guess I've just been trying to keep myself busy, my mind busy. Regardless, it was 3 in the morning and I didn't need a body guard to escort me into a cemetery.

"Thanks for worrying Sol, but it's late. I'll be fine." With that, I walked out of the door and rode the lift to the car park in our building and jumped into my Cadillac to start my journey to the cemetery 15 minutes away.

Notes

So I want to begin by apologising for taking FOREVER to update. I have been updating through my phone on wattpad because my computer has been messing up and every time I would try to copy and paste everything onto here, it wouldn't let me. I finally fix my computer and now my phone won't work lol. Well, my charger broke so my phone won't charge -_-

Lucky for you, I will be updating until my latest chapter and it's where Luna and Harry finally have their first encounter. I hope you guys like this and if so let me know. If you want to read it on wattpad I'll leave a link, that way you can see the actual cover for my fic because you can't see it very well on here.

Wattpad link: http://www.wattpad.com/74910086-starting-over-author%27s-note?utm_source=web&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_info&ref_id=29549978

But yeah, love you guys, good vibes xx