*Luna's POV*

1 year later

”Baby grind on me, relax your mind, take your time with me."

I have replayed the same video so many times since Bryan's death; at first it was daily, it's been a year now since he's been gone so I don't depend on the video for my pure happiness anymore. It's the one where he sings Grind On Me and dances hilariously into the camera. It's my favorite video of him.

"Say you love me, Bry"

"I love you, Luna Victoria. But I need to clarify something with you. I don't love you with all my heart, babe. My heart has no idea how to feel love, it just pumps blood and allows me to continue to live so that my mind, my brain can love you endlessly. My dear Luna, my mind is in control of my emotions and my infatuation with you. I will love you until the moment I'm considered brain dead. My brain controls everything and I'm so happy to have a brain that functions like mine because I don't even want to think of having someone else's brain and loving someone else. I love you with all my brain and I always will."

Those words always brought tears to my eyes because it brought back too many memories. It brought back memories of that night where the video took place, from nights where he repeated the same words, but the memory that has imprinted itself in my mind the worst is of that night in London where I had to allow the doctors to unplug him from the machine that kept him from living because his heart had already stop beating and there was nothing else they could do.

"Luna, you need to sleep. We have to get on the plane early tomorrow." I could hear Sol whispering outside my door through my headphones. She was always watching out for me. I knew I had to sleep, but I needed to continue to watch the video because that video not only showed verbally how much we loved each other, but also physically. I put my headphones back on and pressed play so that I could finish watching the video.
**Sexual part coming up**

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He took the camera from me then and pointed it at me.

"Babe, let's make a sex tape." My eyes widened in the video and even though it was not shown, the devious smirk he had on his lips when he said that will forever be tattooed in my memory.

"I don't know, Bry. What if someone finds it?"

"Babe, we can hide it on the computer. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase," He elongated his please and my face now mirrored that on the video, a giddy smile. With that I waved him over to me and he happily followed, unsure of what was to happen. Although the kiss I gave him was not captured in the video, I can still remember that moment clearly and the sound effects from the blank video helped clarify any unsure memories. He then put the camera on his dresser in a way where he could capture us completely. He was in a black Nirvana tee and his acid washed skinnies while all I was wearing were my panties and his The 1975 shirt. He returned to me immediately while removing his shirt. He began to kiss me softly but I returned more fiercely. It showed how our mouths opened in order for our tongues to meet. I began to unbutton his pants while he grabbed the hem of my shirt to pull it off. I was left completely naked from the top so I pulled his pants down making sure to grope his dick in the process. He stifled in a breath and hopped out of them completely and began to kiss me again. He was only semi-hard by then so I turned him around so he was sitting on the bed and I was standing on the ground. I grabbed his neck to get a better grip while I kissed him and softly pushed him down so he was lying on the bed and I straddled around his waist. While still kissing him intensely I began to grind slowly but roughly on his dick and he immediately grabbed onto my waist helping with the movements. Once he started moving me faster and harder I moved my lips to his neck and ears and started nibbling and sucking on his earlobes the way that normally made him wild. You could tell he was excited in the video because you could hear every time he sucked in a breath clearly. By that point in the video, you could see how he trailed his fingertips from the back of my neck, down my back, to finally find his way in my panties groping my ass while still grinding me on his underwear covered cock. I remember feeling everything. I was so sensitive to his touch and he knew exactly where to touch. You could hardly hear what he whispered in my ear, but it was still faintly audible, “Baby take your panties off.” I did as he commanded but instead of climbing on top of him again, I knelt on the soft carpet he had on his wooden floor and put my lips on his briefs, right where his cock was and started moving my lips and sucking on certain spots. He would suck in his breath and moan at certain ways my lips met his briefs causing friction on his dick. He couldn't keep it in any longer so he took his dick out, but I didn't want his underwear in the way so I slid them completely off. I started kissing, and licking, and sucking starting with his inner thighs, closest to his cock and then up his pelvic area, so close to his cock, but I wasn't giving in yet. I could see the pleasure from the teasing, but also the anguish of wanting me to finally wrap my mouth around his cock. I would do it, but when he least expected it. His dick was sprung up and ready for my touch so I gathered some spit in my mouth and let it fall on his cock while looking him dead in the eye. I started blowing on it and when he leaned his head back due to the feeling of it, I quickly put his cock in my mouth with no warning, going as deep as I could and making a pop sound while releasing it from my mouth. His head sprung up faster than he had time to lean it back and looked at me with wide eyes and enlarged pupils filled with lust. “Damn, baby, fuck.” He was really enjoying it. I was still bobbing my head when he grabbed a handful of my hair and placed his hand on the top of my head helping me with my movements. I can't stop smiling from the memory. I remember looking in his eyes the whole time I was sucking him off and all I remember seeing was love and lust and that's all I needed to know I was happy and that I would do anything for him. “ Alright baby, it's time for you to get some fun out of this.” With that he stood me up and lifted me up to him so that I was completely held up by him and my legs were wrapped around his waist. I could have sworn in that moment that he was going to thrust into me because I could feel his cock rubbing on my pussy and causing friction on my clit, but instead, he threw me onto the bed and then scooted me to the edge. His face inches from my pussy. He was gonna make me beg for it and I knew that in that moment. I was already tremendously wet and when he started blowing on my pussy, it took me to a whole other place. He started kissing, and licking, and sucking everywhere, but where I wanted him to just like I had done to him. “Fuck, Bryan. Please” With that I looked at him and he gave me a silly smirk before saying, “Yeah baby, beg for me.” He then lowered his head and began to lick everywhere I wanted him to, making sure to suck on my clit for a bit making me squirm, moan, and swear I would come right then. Without hesitation he pushed me to the top of his bed so my head was comfortable on his pillows before climbing on top of me, kissing me, and swearing to me that he loved me with his whole entire mind. He kissed me again while spreading my legs. He grabbed a condom from his bedside table and slid it on before position himself at my entrance and the pushing softly until I adjusted to his size before he slicked it out and then slammed into me again causing a pleasurable scream to escape my mouth. He slammed into me repeatedly while rubbing my clit making me squirm under him and thrust upward to meet his hips. He would make sure to kiss me and tell me he loved me throughout the whole time. I was reaching my high and I felt it at the pit of my stomach and then slowly through my clit and he could tell by my moaning and movements so he placed his thumb on my clit and started to rub it until the moment I came right under his touch. He hadn't cum and I wanted to make sure he would so I got on my knees on the bed and pushed him down so he was lying down. I removed the rubber he had and replaced it with my mouth. I stopped momentarily just so that I could whisper, “Baby. I want you to cum,” and immediately placed my mouth back where it belonged at the moment and glided my head up and down. He started thrusting into my mouth and I knew he was close so I sucked a bit harder and almost instantly he was cumming in my mouth making sure I swallowed all of it. He pulled me up next to him and we fell asleep.

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**End of sexual part**

The video stops about 10 minutes after we fell asleep because the camera had run out of battery. With that, I took my headphones out, put the alarm on my phone for seven in the morning, and played the song I wrote for Bryan, "Your Song", which Jesse helped me record. I will finally be leaving California and living in the last place I was able to be with Bryan.

Notes

Okay so I am soooo sorry it took me so long to update! :( My computer's battery is messed up and every time I try to get it on it like shuts off immediately. I'm posting this while my computer is not going nuts. I did try to make it a little long considering it's been so long since I've updated, although, it's mainly really sexual lol. Thanks for the rates and subscribers. I love you guys. Please let me know what you liked or didn't so that I can make sure the next chapter is better.
OHHHH and the song Luna wrote for Bryan is actually Dark Horse by Lana Del Rey. Listen to it, it's soooo good!