Being Carter Hood (5SOS)

"Luke, you have to promise you won't tell anyone." I squeeze my eyes shut and plead as I shakily rise to my feet after a 5 minuet session on balling my eyes out. Silence remained so I open my eyes to see him looking at me bewildered. "I can't promise that." He shakes his head.
"B-b-but you must. Michael can't k-" I cry.
"Carter, stop! Haven't you realized if you can't tell Michael the truth, what kind of relationship is that?!" Luke exaggerates in a huff. I close my mouth shut and sadly cross my arms, looking away. He sighs, before relaxing his posture and walks over to me. Gently, he takes his thumb and wipes the fresh tear falling down my cheek then wraps his arm around my shoulder and begins to walk us down the steps and onto the sand. "Come on, I'll take you back to the house. The others will understand." He tells me.
"No! I-I dont want to ruin it for everyone. I want to sleep in the tent and I'm going to." I state and look up at him as we walk. He lets out a chuckle and looks down at me. "Your so stubborn." He shakes his head and looks forward. I mentally grin but keep my look stern. Maybe Luke is right about Michael...
We finally reach the camp area and i relax my appearance as Luke removes his arm. "Where were you guys?" Calum huffs and urgently walks to me. "I thought we were going to have to send a search party!" Ashton laughs. I remain standing with Calum examining me. Luke casually sat next to his sister and they began whispering as the attention remained on me. "What the hell, you were crying. What happened?" Michael becomes more alert as he sees my swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"I'm fine." I give them an assuring smile. I study Michael who looks a bit angry. "We'll talk about it tomorrow." Calum looks at me very seriously before slowly walking away, leaving me and Michael alone but with nosy glances from the others. He looks at me waiting to explain, but i pretend i dont notice by giving him a quick smile and walk towards the others and put another marshmallow on my stick. Expecting it, he follows me and sits by me closely. I begin to hum a song trying to seem okay. The feeling of his eyes staring at me with such a sad look kills me, but he can't know at least now right now, it doesn't feel like the right time. Not when not even ten minutes ago I had luke confessing he loves me.
"I have been wondering for weeks now why everytime I ask you if your okay, you lie and say your fine. I know something is going on with you, why won't you tell me?" He whispers so softly in my ear. Basically pleading like i did to Luke earlier. I look at him, our noses touching. "I will tell you, but not right now." I whisper back. He looks down with rising emotions, then i said it. The words i believe I've been trying to say. I can't hurt him anymore if...
"I think we should take a break...." I mumble almost not audible, but by the way he furrowed his eyebrows in hurt, he heard every word. My mind does flips. Did i just say that? I gasp at my own words. I must have said it for a reason.. Maybe deep down i know its the right thing. I can't give him the answer he's been wanting, so why hurt him more? "Your breaking up with me?" He says not in a whisper anymore that sends eyes our way. I wipe the tears from my cheek. "No. I just.. I um. I need time to think." I tell him and he clenched his jaw. "Is this because of Luke?" He spats.

"No. Of course not. This has nothing to do with him. Its my decision." I shake my head and without thinking reach out for his head, only to have him flinch and pull it away. Everything i said was true. Even if Luke mentioned Michael. This was 100% my decision with my own reasons.
"You sure did make up your mind, didn't you." He says angrily while walking away. I watch as he ignores the people calling his name and goes into one of the two tents that were both empty. My mind still in slight shock. I rise to my feet as everyone stares and make my way to the other tent. I think I've had enough for one night. As i lay down by myself choosing the far left side, not knowing who else is sleeping in here I look up at the tents roof and listen closely as everyone prepares for bed by putting out the fire and talking of who's sleeping where.
I know the only reason they don't talk of me and Michael is because they are aware of us hearing them. I role over to my side so my front is facing the tents wall and my back is facing the whole other sleeping spaces.
By the time I was deep in my thoughts I had blurred out their conversation. Soft russeling came from the tents door as the two people entered from both tents. I wasn't sure who it was till one spoke.

"Shh dont wake her up." A petit voice said from the opposite side of the tent letting me know one of them one was Stella. The other person didn't say anything back, just laid next to me quietly, a small distance away. I could tell their front was facing me. I didn't think much of that and remained with my eyes closed.
A long period of time passed and a while ago my eyes found the curiosity to open and not close to sleep since then. My thoughts darting to one subject to the other and by the steady breathing of someone I could tell only one person was alseep in this tent.The fact that it was coming from the far sid I knew it was Stella. Still unaware of who the other person is. Ugh and it must be like 3am..
Suddenly I feel the person hand gently twirl my hair.. Not in a creepy way, but more like a sweet way. I grow curious and role on to my other side so I'm finally face the other person. "Hi." I whisper as he looks back at me with his crystal blue eyes. "Hey." He says back taking in every detail of my face. "About what you told me, about your feelings I thi-" I try to speak of the fragile subject. "No, not now. We'll talk about it another time. I'm so sorry about Michael." He says genuinely. "Oh Luke, it had nothing to do with you. Its what was right." I sigh. He nods and looks away. "Thank you.." I mumble, he sends his attention back on me. "For helping me admit." I finish my sentence. "Anything for you." He smiles softly. "There's one thing I dont understand.." I furrow my eyes brows in confusion. "What's that?" Luke looks at me amused. "You've known ever since we've gotten here. Why didn't you confront me?" I ask.
"Well.. I guess I trusted you would come talk to me, I thought we could tell eachother anything. " His eyes grow sad as he explains. "I'm sorry." I say filled with guilt. His sadness washes over and turn into a smile. "Come here." Luke opens his arms and I move forward and lay against his chest. Something we haven't dome in so long. He smoothly kisses my forehead. "I've missed you." I whisper.

"Me too."
My eyes find the comfort to close and I soon fall into a deep sleep.

Notes

So sorry for the wait!! But winter break has started so expect more updates coming your way. :) let me know what you think. And just thought I'd tell you all my birthday was on Friday! I turned 15.