XxNataliaxX
"Things I can't forget"

Grade: 6

The good things:

-The summary is very good! It definitely made me want to read the story.
-The title is very intriguing.
-I like your writing style. The short sentences are cool and build suspense in a way, but I’m glad there aren’t too many or else it would make the story sound choppy.


Things to work on:

-I read the story out loud to my sister, and she pointed out the sequence was kind of confusing. I’m older than her (and a bit smarter) so I understood but some of your readers might be younger and might not understand.
-There were quite a bit of ‘I’s in the story


Would I recommend this story to someone?:
If you wrote a few more chapter, fix these few things, and kept the story going in the right direction then yes. :)

Notes

Hope you're satisfied!

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