Starting Over

*Liam’s POV*
We’ve been on tour for several months now. We play Hershey tomorrow night and the night after. Samy lives about an hour from Hershey but as far as I know she isn’t coming to either show. It’s kind of a relief actually. As far as I know, none of the guys have talked to her since she left. I haven’t talked to her at least. I know El and Perrie have of course, those girls were so close. I’m glad they were able to stay friends, even if we weren’t. I hope she’s been able to move on. I have. I’ve been talking to someone, her name is Sophia. She is not my usual type to date but I’ve known her since high school and we were friends back then. I guess we’ll see where it takes us, but she’s not Samy. Sophia and I aren’t even dating, yet. We are just friends but she is on tour with us for right now hanging out with El, Gemma, and Ruth who are also tagging along for the next week. The tour has been amazing so far. The crowds have been incredible, with each night being louder than the one before it. I am excited for Hershey though, we are getting there in about an hour and since it’s still so early in the day security said that we are going to be able to go to the park. Finally! Rollercoasters, bumpercars, and junk food!
We arrive at the arena and the crew starts unloading our stuff as the lads and I head to the park with security in toe. After hours and hours of the park it’s dark out and the girls are waiting for us to go eat some dinner nearby. I look over to Zayn and see him smiling a big goofy grin while typing into his phone. He must be talking to Perrie. That’s definitely his Perrie face. “How’s Perrie?” I say looking at his slyly. “Oh, she’s fine I guess but that’s not who I’m texting” he says the last part quietly… too quietly. I grab his phone from his hand before he realizes what’s happening and start looking at the messages. If he’s cheating on Perrie, I want to know about it. She’s an amazing girl and so perfect for him. The name on the screen makes me want to slug him right then and there. He’s been texting Samy. There must be hundreds, no, THOUSANDS of texts between then in the last few days alone.
“WHAT THE HELL MAN?” I scream at him. “ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREW SAMY? YOU HAVE PERRIE YOU DICK!” I am beyond livid now.
“NO! Liam, calm the fuck down before I mess you up. I love Perrie you jack ass. Samy and I are friends. We all text her.” He says angrily.
“ALL of you?” I say looking at the group. Everyone nods, even the girls. “Were anyone of you planning on telling me?” I bark.
“We figured you knew” says Niall.
“Well I didn’t” and I storm off.
This is annoying as hell. Why do they need to talk to her so much? Are they all secretly in love with her? Friends don’t text hundreds of times a day. I look down realizing that I still have Zayn’s phone in my hand. I dial Samy’s new number and wait. She answers immediately.
“Hey, Zayn!! I was just texting you! I can’t wait for the concert tomorrow!!!!! Your security just dropped off my ticket and pass. Thank you so much but how are we going to deal with Liam? I don’t want him to be upset… hello? Hello? Zayn? Are you there? Is something wrong with my phone?” Click
I hang up before I can say something stupid. She’s coming to the show. I feel my heart ripping in two. Tears are forming in my eyes. I’m completely tensed up and shaking. No one was going to even tell me that. I sit down for a moment on a nearby bench and take a few very long, very deep breathes. It’s ok. I’ll just avoid her like the plague. It’s a big arena. I can handle it. I repeat over and over to myself as I walk back to the group and return Zayn’s phone to him. He looks at it and realizes that I had called Samy. He chooses not to say anything and moves on to the topic of food.
*Samy’s POV*
“Hey, Zayn!! I was just texting you! I can’t wait for the concert tomorrow!!!!! Your security just dropped off my ticket and pass. Thank you so much but how are we going to deal with Liam? I don’t want him to be upset… hello? Hello? Zayn? Are you there? Is something wrong with my phone?”
Silence. I glance at my phone and realize the call has disconnected. Hmmm, we must have been cut off. Hershey is notorious for having horrible cell phone reception and Zayn’s American phone is a piece of junk. I guess I’ll just text him.
*Text conversation*
Samy: Thanks for the tickets, guess the call got cut off, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, have you figured out how to tell Liam that I’m coming
yet?
Zayn: He knows. He’s the one that called you. I gotta go calm the beast down. See you tomorrow. Love you!<3
My heart flips. Liam is the one who called me from Zayn’s phone? Shit. Well I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. I had been hoping to avoid him. Oh well. We have the same friends so I guess our eventually seeing each other was inevitable. Besides, I may be single but he’s clearly not. I know he’ been hanging out with Sophia a lot. It’s all over the internet. Good for him. I’m glad he’s happy. I guess. I mean obviously, I wish that he was happy with me instead of her, but I dug my own grave and now I have to lie in it. I had been secretly hoping that seeing him tomorrow night would allow us to talk about being friends and maybe eventually even get back together. I realize now what a stupid mistake I made but ending my relationship with him. He is the most amazing person that I’ve ever known. He was obviously just scared of losing me and by running away like I did, I made it look like he had a good reason to be scared. I broke his heart. I broke my own heart. I’m not sure it will ever heal. I’m sure he’s fine now and moving on but I’m still broken inside. I put my earbuds in and turn on my favorite song at the moment “Fallout” by Marianas Trench… it’s so perfect to how I feel. I bet Liam has never even given me a second thought. I fall asleep minutes later with the music in my ears and tears flowing down my face.
*Zayn’s POV*
I hang up with Samy and take off after Liam. In the back of my mind I know that it’s a stupid idea to follow him. I’m the last person that he wants to see right now aside from Samy, but he’s my brother and I need to get this all sorted before tomorrow. I get to the door of his room and knock quietly.
“Yeh” He says from the other side.
“It’s Zayn. Can I come in bro?”
“I guess” He says quietly.
I open slowly and enter hesitantly. I head over to where he is lounging on the bed flipping through T.V. channels.
“Listen, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you and upset you by keeping my talking to Samy a secret from you. You know I love Perrie and that Samy and I are just friends with all of us. Honestly, we’re all just scared to even bring her name up around you. You get so angry about her still. We all thought you’d have moved on by now man. By the way, if it makes you feel better, she’s definitely not over you either. She’s still completely mad about you.” I say trying my best to look him in the eyes, though he is trying his best to avoid mine.
“I don’t want her to be miserable. Besides, she didn’t look too miserable a few months ago when she was kissing that guy in the photos” he says quietly.
“That was a misunderstanding by the paps and fans. That’s her friend and he kissed her. She was so upset about you that she did something stupid. It didn’t mean anything to her. Trust me, she still feels awful about it” I say calmly.
“Sure she does” he says with attitude.
I choose not to respond to his comment. Honestly, it made me want to beat him. Instead, I decide to leave him alone.
“You’re an idiot if you don’t say anything to her tomorrow. Just so you know” I say as I walk out the door without waiting for an answer. He knows I’m right. It’s up to him now, I’ve done all I can for both of them.
*Samy’s POV*
I wake up the next day and get ready. I head to the park area where the boys are staying and decide to spend the day with the girls. The boys are doing interviews and getting ready for their concert tonight so I can push that stress aside for the moment. After hitting the theme park for a bit and getting some ugly glares from fans who recognize me it’s time to head to the arena. The girls and I head to our own green room area and relax while the boys finish sound check and meet and greet. Sophia seems really nice and for some reason she has been insisting that she and Liam are just friends and that she doesn’t want me to feel threatened. I’m not sure why she thinks that I’d care. I mean, Liam and I are done. I broke his heart. He hates me. I look to El who cheerfully changes the subject every time. I’m so glad she’s here.
After about an hour of waiting Louis, Harry, Niall, and Zayn make their way into the room and immediately give me huge hugs and kisses, twirling me around the room in excitement before heading for the food. Niall stacks his plates full and returns to the table near us as he begins to chow down. He eats 2 and a ½ plates full of food as the rest of us hang out and joke around. I wonder where Liam is.
“He’s skyping with his mum. He feels a bit homesick” Zayn leans in and explains as if reading my mind.
“Oh” is all I can say.
“Don’t worry, he’s not avoiding you” Harry tries to reassure me.
“I know you guys are just trying to be nice. He hates me and I don’t blame him. I hurt him really badly. Especially after those pictures came out” I had talked about the pictures with everyone except Harry and Niall.
“Yeh, what was that all about?” Harry questions slightly agitated, almost jealous.
“Chas was overly happy to see me and I was upset about Liam. Liam’s all I had been thinking about the whole flight. The only thing I was thinking about while kissing Chas was Liam. I imagined that Chas was Liam and so I kissed him back. I didn’t realize so many people were around. Chas and I are just friends though. He and Stephanie are actually in a relationship at the moment” I said clarifying the incident.
“Wow, you’re really torn up of him” Sophia says, finally speaking up. In all honesty I had forgotten that she was there. This must be really awkward for her to hear.
“Yeh. I am… um… was. He has you, whether you admit it or not, he’s happy with you in his life, Sophia, so I’m not going to get involved. Besides, like I’ve said a million times before, I hurt him too much and now he hates me” I state.
“No Samy, Liam and I can never be anything more than friends and it’s because he has found his soul mate. YOU” Sophia says calmly. “I’ve known Liam for years, you’re it for him” she says in a sisterly tone.
I look around the room and see everyone nodding. It’s still too late. I’m still not sure that I’m ready to permanently trust someone with my heart again. I haven’t seen Liam in months. He may not be the same person. And regardless of what anyone says, Liam will never trust me again.

Notes