Gabriella’s P.O.V.

It’s been two weeks exactly since the California trip. It was pretty much the worst trip of my life. I cheated on my boyfriend, I realized I have feelings for my best friend, and the rest of the trip we had to pretend like everything was fine and nothing happened. Liam and I tried to act as normal as we possibly could, but its hard. Its hard to sit there and watch the person you love, love someone else. I think Rebecca and Zayn noticed something was up with Liam and I because they asked me on numerous occasions if Liam and I were okay. Like I said we tried to be normal but it just wasn't the same. We weren't as talkative towards one another, we didn't see each other unless it was with the group, and I didn't even bother to fight with Sophia anymore. As you can tell I wasn't really myself. I would brush them off and tell them everything was fine, but they knew I was lying. Especially Rebecca, she's texted me multiple times since we got back and I’ve brushed her off. Although I promised her today we would get lunch. I needed to tell someone about what happened between Liam and me. This guilt that had manifested inside of me was eating me alive. I couldn't sleep, or eat, I couldn't do anything. Liam has called me numerous times to meet up as well but I just couldn't see him right now. It hurt too much.

I told Harry I was leaving and he said he would be out today as well, but he wanted to talk to me once I got home. That worried me a little. What could he want to talk about? I mean everything seemed fine, I tried my best to be my usual self.

I got there and I saw Rebecca sitting down already, that girl never fails to arrive early.

“Hey gorgeous!” She smiled at me and hugged me.

“Hey Rebecca.” I gave her a smile in return. “Have you ordered yet?”

“Yeah I just did, I got us both our usual!”

“Aww thanks Rebecca, but I’m not really hungry.”

“Why whats wrong Gabby?”

“Nothing I don't have much of an appetite lately.” I smiled softly and she raised her eyebrow at me. She knew something was wrong.

“Gabriella what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing. Lets just talk about it later okay.” I planned to tell her everything that happened. It was a lot harder to tell someone about the wrong that you’ve done.

“No I’m sick of you telling me that! You're not fine and I know it! Ever since the trip you’ve been acting funny. Ignoring my calls and texts, did something happen with Harry?”

“No nothing happened with Harry!” I began sobbing.

“Well then what happened? Gabriella I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything you know that.”

“Do remember that night I came to the club without Harry?”

“Uh yeah, but I was really drunk you know that. You never told me why he didn't show up.”

“That night Harry and I got into a huge fight because I found out he was texting Kendall Jenner behind my back. So I left and went the club. I got super drunk and I did something Rebecca.”

“Sweetie its okay you can tell me. What happened?” I took a deep breathe still trying to control my sobbing

“I… I slept with Liam.” I whispered.

“I’m sorry what?”

“I said I slept with Li-” she cut me off before I could finish repeating myself.

“No no I heard you I just can’t believe it. Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't tell you because I didn't want to accept the reality of it all! I didn't want to accept the fact I cheated on my boyfriend with my best friend, I didn't want you to look at me differently or think I was slut, and I didn't want to accept the fact I’m in love with Liam knowing he wont ever feel the same way!” I was a mess I’m sure my makeup was running and I was crying uncontrollably.

“Oh honey come here!” I walked over to her side of the table and sat in the booth with her. I put my head on her shoulder and just cried. “I would never look at you differently.
I wouldn't ever judge you, you of all people know I have done things I’m not proud of.”

“I’m just so confused! I don't want to hurt Harry but I feel the longer I keep this a secret I’ll just be hurting him even more! I can’t lose Harry and Liam!”

“Gabriella I don’t think you could ever lose Liam! Why would you think that?”

“Because I love him Rebecca! And he doesn't feel the same way.” I cried harder into her shoulder. “I love him.” I sobbed.

“Have you talked to Liam about this?”

“I can’t! I already know what he is going to say! He is going to say he doesn't see in that way and that we should just stay friends! I can't handle that.”

“I may not be the smartest person Gabriella, but it doesn't take a genius to see that Liam loves you just as much as you love him. I think you should talk to him.”

“What about Harry? I don’t want him to get hurt either. Harry has done so much for me and I know he really loves me. I just don't know what I’m going to do.” I sighed.

“Okay I’m going to be completely honest with you. Are you going to make yourself unhappy just to make Harry happy? Its important to think about whats best for other people, but sometimes its more important to think about whats best for yourself.”

After lunch I drove back to Harry and I’s flat. I came up with this whole scenario in my head about how I was going to tell Harry everything and how I was going to tell Liam about my true feelings for him. But that didn't happen, I was too big of a coward to do that. When I got home and saw Harry’s face light up when he saw me. I just couldn't tell him. Even though I love Liam, there is still a huge part of me that cares deeply for Harry. I care for him so much I don't think I can hurt him like that.

“Hey babe did you have fun?” He smiled at me

“Yeah I did.” I smiled back. He walked over to me and hugged me and buried his face in my neck. He began kissing my lips. I kissed him back but it felt sort of strange. It felt like the passion and romance we once had was gone. I felt myself tense up and Harry must have noticed because he pulled away and gave me a confused look.

“You okay babe?”

“Um yeah, I’m fine love.” He began kissing me again and he laid me down on the couch and hovered over me and began kissing my neck leaving small kisses on my chest. His hand reached down to try and unbutton my shorts. I couldn't do this with Harry. Not right now away, I just wasn't in the mood. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back slightly to break the kiss.

“Whats wrong?”

“I’m just not in the mood Harry. Not tonight, another night I promise.” Since my night with Liam, I haven't been into sex lately. My infidelity has taken a huge toll on Harry and I’s sex life. I would always say I’m not in the mood or that I didn't feel good. It felt weird to give myself to Harry in that way again, when my head and heart are telling me two different things. My head is telling me to just sleep with Harry so he doesn't get suspicious of whats really going on. My heart is telling me that it isn't right to use Harry, because I’m clearly love somebody else. People always say listen to your heart, but I’m starting to reconsider if thats really the right thing. As of now listening to my heart hasn't gotten me anywhere.

Harry never complained when I denied him sex. I know every guy has needs,and Harry was just about at his breaking point. I know he had to be sexually frustrated and I know it didn't help that I kept denying him. He sighed at me looking sad.

“Uh Gabriella did I do something wrong?”

“No why would you ask that?”

“I mean its just… it feels like you don't want me to touch you. Every time I kiss you or try to initiate sex its like you tense up.”

“Harry you didn't do anything wrong.” I got up and sat on his lap giving him a kiss on his check.

“It just sucks I mean, I love you so much and I just want to be with you. I want to feel close to you Gabby.”

“Harry its fine, I’m really just not in the mood.” I got off his lap and began walking to the room to change. I didn't feel like discussing this any more. I needed to relieve some stress, so I decided going for a run is best. Harry walked in the room when I was changing. I immediately covered my body up and put a shirt on quickly.

“See something is wrong!”

“Harry you’re being crazy. Nothing is wrong.”

“You covered your body up as soon as I walked in here! You never used to do that! Not only will you not have sex with me anymore, you wont let me see or touch you!

“Is that all you think about Harry?”

“You know its not like that Gabby. I have always been patient with you. But its the same excuse every time! You have been like this ever since we got back!” Shit he was starting to notice what I was doing, so I said the very first excuse I could think of.

“Its because I feel fat around you ok! I saw some fans on twitter saying that I was fat and that I’m too fat to be with you and you deserve better! I’m sorry that I’ve been feeling self conscience.” He looked at me with a saddened expression.

“Babe is that what this is all about? Come here.” He pulled me into hug him. “You are not fat what so ever. You have an amazing body and you shouldn't feel the need to hide it from me. You’re beautiful baby.” I buried my head in his chest and hugged him.

“I’m sorry. Things will go back to normal.” I knew I couldn't avoid sex with Harry forever I would just push it off for as long as I could.

“Don’t apologize babe, I was just being a dick and didn't take the time to ask how you were feeling.” He noticed I had changed into my workout clothes. “Where are you going babe?”

“I’m going for a run. I’ve been really stressed lately.” He kissed the top of my head and hugged me again.“Okay but please be careful babe.”

“I will.”

I kissed him good bye and as soon as I got outside I started to run. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I had just told another lie to Harry. Another act of deception that I committed, and to an innocent person. I didn't notice how far I ran until I saw a familiar park. I stopped there and sunk to my knees and started to cry. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up. I was tired of all the lying and I needed to tell Harry the truth. I just didn't know how without hurting him. I sat on one of the park benches and looked at my phone to seen that I’ve been running for almost 45 minutes. It didn't even seem that long.

I needed to talk to some. I dialed the number of somebody I knew would always listen to me.

“Hey can I come over? I need to talk to you about something.”

“Gabby are you okay? What is it, whats wrong?” They could probably tell I was crying.

“I’ll explain everything when I get there. Are you home? Can I please come over?”

“Yeah I’m home, I’ll be waiting for you.”

I made way over to their flat. I was going to tell them everything, I just hope this was the right thing.

Notes

Aww poor Harry! I feel bad for him he has no idea whats going on! What are your predictions for the next chapters? Let me know what you guys think in the comments!

I also want to think everyone for reading and sticking with this story! Thank you to all the people who subscribe and comment! I love you all! <3