LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

Louis' POV

"We were naked but we didn't hv sex" I tell niall pushing my fringe aside from my forehead sitting on the rotating chair in my cabin.
"What? are you serious?" He whines from the other side of the phone.

"Yeah? Why do u sound so upset abt me nt having sex!" I ask him my legs lift up onto the desk.

"I am not upset bro, I just wanted to tease harry about this. He always finds things to annoy me and this time its gonna be me" he giggles

"Seriously he knows how to tease? Man that's news"

"It depends on his mood. You know sometimes its like he has some other life he depends on" "What do u mean.?..Explain would you"

"I mean just that when he's happy he'd treat you like the king or a queen but when he gets sad or worse he might be a total different person. He might just start ignoring you for your own good"

"Yeah well that is something serious" I sigh.

"That keeps me worried all the time u know" he sounds a bit diff from his usual self. "Yeah its like he drifts off somewhere. " "Well thank you for calling, I'll just--"I breath sharply.

"Yeah its OK I'll talk to him about it"
"No don't do that. He gets really hyper. " he says suddenly."Ive tried once. He just shoved me away that one time. And didn't talk to me like some 3-4 weeks. I was terrified u know"

"Seriously? Harry styles who can't hurt a fly did that??"
"100%"

"Oh god! Okay then don't worry he'll be better"

"Yeah u stay safe bye"

"He's nt dangerous niall. I'll be safe. Thanks bye" and I hang up. Seriously that's weird niall thinks like that but I'm sure he has an explanation to that. Or Maybe he is right.

Harry is a strange man.

The office phone rings on the desk which jolts m back into reality. I pick up the cordless, "hello. Its Louis Tomlinson"

"Hi there sexy" a hoarse familiar voice beams into the mouthpiece and my body just shivers down inside. I am .fully startled.

"Fuck me!" I swear out of no where my mind just spits off the words.

"Seriously? You want me to do that??" I can almost feel him smirk on the other side.

"Yeah I certainly would!" I am back on and I give him what he wants.

"Well then...?"

"Well then what?"

"Well then I guess you'll have to wait till..." And he opens the door to my cabin. In front of me appearing a huge figure.

"Hey again there sexy!!" He hangs up walking in closing the door behind him.

"You seem in a really good mood today"

"Yeah..you know what?"

"What?" He sits on the desk in front of me as I slide my chair forward almost fitting my body between his thighs.

"U remember Gemma?" He leans down his eyes staring at my lips making my nerves shiver. He really is in a good mood.

"Your elder sissy?"

"Don't talk about her like that!" He slaps my shoulder making me giggle."she'll be here this weekend" his thumb traces my jawline.

Oh my I didn't expect that. I flinch a little at that touch but I lean in a second later.

"Okay" I shrug as he leans down his face inching closer to mine and I watch him coming closer to me.

"You know I'm really excited"his lips brush against mine.

"So am i" I'm nervous. Extremely nervous. Harry's never done this before. He's never been so close suddenly. I'm worried.

"Hmm" he hums against my skin his hot breath making skin hot and my heart couldn't race a bit faster ever.

The connection of his lips on mine for a second made me reach heaven. It was a soft peck on the lips but it was so meaningful. I don't know why he felt like this in the morning but it was a perfect start. This however told me he needed me. I know he needs me even much more than I need him.

My hands trail up to his neck moving up to cup his cheek.

"Are you okay?"I finally spit out caressing his cheek with my thumb and my eyes look deep into the emerald treasure.

"Yeah?" He speaks out almost in a whisper his eyebrows knitting together into a frown.

"Is that the truth?" I ask him again

"That is the truth" he gets down abruptly from the desk lightly pushing my chair backwards.

"Harry what happened?" I wrap my fingers around his broad wrist. He turns around looking down at me as I get up and pull him closer to my body. It s almost 1 by the clock.

"Can I hug you??" He asks his arm wrapping around my waist as he pulls me closer our lowers touching.

"Obv..."even before I could finish he pulls me so strongly and holds me tightly. I am almost out of breath but I can hear him sniffle beside me ear as he breathes in deeply. I rub his arched back trying to sooth him down.

No matter how desperately and how curious I am to know the reason behind his this kind of behavior I know this is not the right time. This is seriously not the right time.

"Louis?" He whispers into my ear.

"Yeah?"

"We have a recording to do right now"

"So?"

"So we should be leaving" "Okay"


"Please can we not leave?"


"What about smith then?"




"He is the only reason I'll have to leave" "Okay no problem"

"I don't wanna leave"

"Why are you behaving this way today harry? What's the matter are you going to tell me or what?" I pull him away holding his upper arms.

"I don't know Louis. I don't know. Okay?"he sounds so.frustrtaed "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean I'm sorry." He sighs loudly.

"No its totally fine you don't have to be sorry. I was... I was just worried about you. This isn't the usual you. Thats it."

"Okay...let's leave together now"


"Yeah"


He is still holding my hand as we walk out the door of my cabin. This is something not to expect from harry. Like the way he always tells me that not everybody knows he's gay and all the time he's so shy about such things. So such a step coming forward from him is in a way is a positive step which needs guts.


"Hey josh" I waive at our drummer who's looking straight at me as we enter the recording hall.


He gestures me to walk over to him as he stands up from hi s stool walking towards me.

"What's up mate?" I give him a bro hug and start walking with to the side of the room.

"All cool"



"Whose here for recording today?" "I dk some new band I guess..something seconds of summer sorts"

"Ohh u mean 5 seconds of summer?"

"Yeah probably that!"

"So how's life?"

"You know why harry came in and screamed at Simon that day?" What? That was out of way and sudden.

"Why the hell does everybody end up talking about harry to me?"

"It's serious concern Louis"

"Then why me out of all people"

"Its not hidden here Louis anymore" "Everybody knows you guys are dating"

"Oh fuck, seriously everybody"

"Yeah almost evrybdoy" "How did..?"

"Don't you think entering the hall while you guys are holding each others hand is such a gay thing to do inside an office rihht?"

"Okay okay you don't have to tell details"

"You were talking about why harry shouted at Simon..I have seriously no idea" Though I still remember Harry behaved a way to weird on that day. He was terrified. He didn't talk to anybody about it. He was angry.

"Yeah-"he shrugs almost beginning what to say. He really is making me irritate."Are you some kind of gossip collector?"

"No its just everybody knows but not the reason behind him being so furious that day" josh shoves his hands into his pocket as we stop beside his drums set.

"Tell me then?" I pester him to speak. I am curious to know what the hell happened that day in the office. Harry never told me. I never spoke up to him.

"I too don't know"he spits out his eyebrows rising up.

I roll my eyes at him, my fist tightening at the sides. If i could just punch him down to the floor "What the fuck? Don't you mess with me huh josh? " I step closer to him. He backs off immediately

"I am not messing with you" he looks at me straight no shame in his eyes.

"You fucking idiot" I amost slap him at his stomach with the back of my hand.


"Ah..No just thought harry might've told you the reason cz you're dating you must be knowing each others thing by now?" He speaks out like some love guru who knows what to two people dating are supposed to be doing.

We don't do this we give each other space.

Really?

"Hey hey hey... You better keep your damn brains in your fucking drums okay? You don't have to squeeze ur ass in between us. Keep it with you dickhead"I step closer to him warning him not to repeat this shit in front of me again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you" he raises his hands of in defense.

"Whatever you meant. You're not supposed to be going around poking into other peoples business" I warn him again. My teeth grinding.




"Okay fine I m sorry I didnt mean to take it that way" he presses his palm on my shoulder trying to caress. "You dont touch me okay?" I spit out almost in a whisper still not trying to create a scene here. "Whatever you meant OK just stay away ..cz if I could punch you now you don't even have an idea how much blood you might've already lost" I hug him so that nobody knows what we were really discussing stand I g here in the corner. I fake smile at him and let him go off.


"Okay guys everybody let's get started with the a practice first with the boys. They are in the building, they'll be here any minute. And after they're fine with the tune and we are okay with the vocals the final record I g will be done. You guys know the pattern already" harry wears his headphones and walks into the studio wooden cabin.

"We're all fine?" He speaks into the mic so that we can hear him outside the cabin. Everybody takes there respective places and I walk over to the piano uncovering it removing the red velvet cloth from the top of it.


Wow. Its just wow. I never knew by just looking at it I could feel so much pleasure.



I love playing the piano so so much. It just helps me forget every little damn guilt inside me. I could just literally die playing it. I seat myself on the stool my hand tracing the shiny wooden body of the lovely thing in front of me.

The practices begin just like always. Its been almost 2-3 weeks of me
working here and I have no complaints. This is one of my dream jobs I have. I couldn't be more grateful to harry and Smith. They're the most kind persons I've ever met in my life.

I don't even know if it wasn't harry, I don't know what might've happened to me in such a cold weather if he hadnt agreed with me. My life hasn't been more wonderful after being bullied for almost 3 years continuously by those seniors.

Thinking about how much I had in me since I've met harry was drastfull. My eyes trace up the piano as I play with perfect sync for the song that has to be recorded today.

My eyes wander in search of harry and stop when they find him inside the cabin recording the music doing some thing with the keys on the electronic box in front of him

He's busy doing things. I don't know but I sense something wrong today. The way harry sometimes in between he looks up at me and smiles and I do smile back.


Sometimes I catch him and sometimes he catches me staring fondly. But today, today seems different. The dat end by as it had to. It was a normal day but still different. My head was confused.


I'm standing outside the building waiting for harry for harry to come downstairs and we could go head back home. He's usually early, I keep him waiting but today I am waiting for him. He's late by 10 minutes.


"He-y lou-is?" Harry turns up his breath faster, maybe he was running do the stairs.


"How much more are gonna make me wait now?" I say to him as he tried to regain back his normal breath. He can barely say anything coz he's panting badly.


"Calm down okay, you don't wanna faint here on the middle of nowhere and then ur so heavy I CNT even be able to pick u up like that all bridal style to it car okay so just bre-aaathe"


"Ye--a-h" he straightens his back and takes a deep breath.


"Now are we leaving finally?"I jump on my tippy toes. "Nope.--"he nods.


"What?" My eyes narrow.


"I mean I'm..im not coming with you tonite I have work to do... Can you please drive and go home alone today?" He scrunches his nose. He walks closer to me.

"Are you trying to avoid me??"

"What. No!"he looks disturbed but moves his hand up on my arm.

"Okay" I say as I fix my bag up my shoulder and look down at my shoes. "Okay?" He tries to get my eyes contact.

"Finally I'll be alone!" I sarcastically state."ahhh.." Looking at up at the Eiffel tower in front of me.


"What are you really happy about that?"

Again that same expression on his face. Like he thinks I would leave him so fast.

"Yes finally. ..I haven't jerked off in a while"I chuckle


"Fuck no" he sighs


"Fuck yes"


"Are you serious?"he walks a little away. "Damn serious. And I can even... u know do it wherever I want to and rome around the house naked, dirty too" I shove my hands in my pocket completely not ashamed.


"Did i Ever tell you I have cameras fitted inside the house?" He lies. He dfntly does nt hv any cameras.


"Well then that's more great coz I was... you know going to video tape myself jerking off on ur favorite couch which you love more than urself" I tease him. I love it how his expression keeps on changing and his face has started turn a hint of red. His cheeks are darker red.

"Why are we having this conversation?" He shakes off all dirty thoughts inside.


"I don't know, but I am damn sure when u return there'll be something in ur cameras for you to watch" I chuckle "something completely private and personal.


"You better not do anything stupid--" he can't say words as he trying to contain his laugh "-- on my couch or anywhere for that matter coz my not so lovely sister will be here in the morning and I gave to go pick her up okay? So anyways I'll be turning up late home and I don't wanna make myself busy cleaning up ur mess the whole night" his mood suddenly changes and it seems like he's tryna contain in a lot.

"Okay I understand but are you tired if me already?" I ask him. Is he really. Id walk out for him.

"What no. I'm just tired of cleaning up the mess you end up creating at night ,always when ur alone" his hands move weirdly in front of my face as he turns around his back facing me.


"And I'm always sorry for that"I walk to the front of him. "But its me who ends up cleaning it and theres nothing... no meaning of u being sorry" he pushes his hands inside the pocket of his black trench coat.


"I think I should just leave right now before this goes any further a-nd we end up creating a scene on the road" I take my steps back from him. Its getting all serious here and I have no idea why. Maybe I have an idea why it drifted here. I'm clear. I need time to think.


"Bye" I mouth as I walk backwards in hopes he would say something bit he just nods and turns around to walk away inside the building even before I could process such information into my head. He was gone.


Fuck I thought at least he'd follow me or stop me from. I'd wait for him till he finishes his work. I would wait. Okay now lets get back home!

I walked. I didn't take his car. I wouldn't. He too needs to get back home somehow.



I unlock the door with the spare keys I had.

I enter in locking the door behind as Im about to throw my bag on the couch I remember harry told me not to dirty the place. So I walk straight into my room kicking my shoes aside and pulling my jacket off throwing it onto the bed. I walk into the bathroom for a quick wee, wash my hands, change into pyjamas and 3 fresh inners and a tee which I'm gonna go wear something from harrys cupboard. Hope he doesn't mind. He ussualyy does not.



I pad my feet across the now warm floor to his room. The lights switch on as I open the door. Wow. This was new.


Okay so I walk over to the cupbaod and try and find a new tee shirt for my sled and I find one. His cupboard as always is neat and tidy. With all the clothes lined up perfectly hanging. His spare wallet on the side shelf.




Last time I saw that shelf he had some shiny sharp blades kept there but now they aren't there so I guess maybe he's got rid of them finally. I search for something on the upper shelf and there's a thick file kept with some papers in it. Its about maybe 2cms thick.


I pull out the thing. It got me curious coz harry has a small square cupboard in his room to keep his files. Why would he keep this one inside his cupboard??


Its a lot of papers and the leather binder labels it as 'harry styles'. Pretty obvious. And then 'medical report'. Not obvious.


I open the file. I go through the first page. Normal tests. Its all positive and fine.


"Fuck. Shit. No" the door bell startles me and I drop the folder all the pages spreading on the carpeted floor.


"Noooooo" I curse under my breath. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck..." I hurriedly pick it up my hands shaking I it all the jumbled parts in the binder stuffing into the cupboard I run fr life.


I walk out of the room the door closing behind me wearing his shirt I hurry my steps towards the door. I take a deep breath before turning the knob. "Hey!" He speaks up as he appears in front of me walking in and I walk back towards the hall.




"You're wearing my tee shirt" he remarks and puts his bag on the side table and walks towards me as I sit on the couch.

"Yeah. I didn't have a fresh one" I shrug as I start flipping channels on TV. "Oh" he looks okay with it.


"You could go change and I'll prepare dinner today"I suggest as I shut off the TV and walk towards the kitchen bring stopped in the way as he takes a hold of my wrist. "What?" I turn around to look y him pulling an annoying face but literally I'm worried about that file I dropped.


"You would?" He raises an eyebrow "I just said that " I roll my eyes and as i walk away he wraps his other hand around my waist pulling me close. No wonder why I like him so much. I am so trying hard for hold back my giggle.


"What's wrong? Don't be snappy with me" he coos into my neck as his tongue almost licks the outline of my ear. It's hard not giggle in return.

"You're tickling me with that piece of thing in your mouth...stop it" I say in between giggles as he continues his assualt. "Tell me you love it?" He whispers as he pulls Me close our stomachs pressing against each other.

"I don't!" I nuzzle into his neck trying to pull away coz I'm almost out of breath.

But don't forget he's much stronger than me. "Tell me you do?" He licks under my ear this time and then biting it.


"I don't!" He presses harder into my sensitive skin.

"Don't mess with me now Lou" I am sure he's marked me now.

"If you've marked me harry, I'm telling you u won't be spared!" I warn him pulling away strongly but his hold is so tight.

"Harre--" I squeak and within a blink he's away. His whole demeanor changing. His expressions on his face completely tiring into looks of misery. Like he's so sorry for what he's done. I didn't mean that when I told him to pull away.

"I'm sorry!" He mutters looking down at his feet as he walks backwards leaving me there as I trace the area that is hurting a little right now.

"I didn't mean that harry" before he could hear me he's rushed into his room closing the door shut.


What the hell. I didn't mean that.

Notes

An update for the lovelies.
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