Reviews with the Reader

So far so good! I don't have a lot yet, only because it is four chapters so far. I really like where this story is headed, just make sure you plan it out and not make it rushed.This story has potential, so use it to your ability.

As far as Errors go there weren't many. Just a few grammar mistakes here and there, but everyone has them. The types that I found were mostly comma splices and run on sentences, but those are easy to fix.

I also noticed you didn't have a description on your title page of your fan fiction. As I said before, there are three things a reader looks for when scrolling through story titles. The three things they are looking for are: Interesting titles, Good cover art, and a description to tie it all together.You have Awesome cover art and a interesting title that draws readers in, but you can attract more eyes if you have a small blurb under it all. When you are looking for something that can draw readers in, that you could use, isn't incredibly difficult. There are a few things that you could use such as:

A Quote from your story:
"I want to tell someone, but I can't. I'm scared, and I don't know what to do..." -Lilly
(From Black Mirror)

A real life quote:
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

Or a one sentence summary:
"He offered her the world, and she said she had her own..."
( From @pippalove Cigarettes and Valentines)

Only suggestions, but they do help attract readers in!

Overall I really liked this fan fiction! Since it is just starting out, I didn't have a lot to go off of. I think if you build on this story, it will be really good and interesting!

Overall rating: 8.5

Notes

Notes If you do not like the review that was given to you for any reason at all let me know, and I will take it down ASAP. I hope I helped you with creating a better story!

❤ This_Crazy_Girl.