Reviews with the Reader

Amazing! This story is wow. First I would like to say, I love your cover art it really draws me in. To go with that, your description of the story and title are perfect. There were minimal mistakes, and it's very original.

Although you did have some grammar related flaws. These kind of mistakes are very easy to fix, but sometimes hard to find. The most common ones I found were capitalization errors and misused past/present words. As I have said in past chapters before, always read over a chapter twice before you make it public. I say this because as a writer it's hard to find your own mistakes. Also this way you don't post something you didn't mean.

Lastly when you use a groups name, book title, or movie; it's always proper to italicize their names. For example:

I set my speaker down on the cracked bathroom sink, and turned on the warm water in the shower. Picking up the remote to my mini speaker, I clicked play. Clocks by Coldplay blasted throughout the small bathroom as I stepped in to the cascading warm water of the shower.

It just recognizes that it's a title or something along those lines. Italics can also make thoughts, noises, and important events or words more apparent.

I love this fan fiction, and the prologue was super intense and amazing. It pulled me in to the story, and tied me to its finger. I also really like how you made the point of views through journal entries, it is very creative and not seen a lot. I can't wait to read more of this fan fiction! You just got your self a new subscriber!

Overall rating: 9

Notes

Notes If you do not like the review that was given to you for any reason at all let me know, and I will take it down ASAP. I hope I helped you with creating a better story!

❤ This_Crazy_Girl