Reviews with the Reader

Okay. So I wrote this review, and my stupid tablet just shut off. So I’m going to rewrite it. Here goes nothing. So, when I review, I start from the top and work down. Meaning I start from the title, cover, character list, and then chapters. So first Title.

I’m not sure if you meant to spell relationship wrong, but the way you spelt it is not the correct form. Its spelled “Re-la-tion-ship” just sound it out. So fix that up, and that would be great.

Cover. I don’t think it was anything to do with the story. All its shows is Harry (dazzling, beautifully white) smile. Honestly a new cover would be Fab. Because let’s be honest here. We all judge books by there cover. As a reader, the first thing I look at is the cover. As an author, when I want a new cover and I’m not sure if it will fit, all I do is test it out in another one of my stories or the actual story I want it for. If it works leave it. If not fix it. Simple as that.

Character list. You need to remember that the list goes in alphabetical order. So the first character we read about is Dani, it says she love to party as well. Who else loves to party? See what wrong there? Also, in the example of Zany & Perrie, on Zayn’s profile. Its say “dating Perrie as well” now, who else is dating Per-Bear? You did that on all the guys in relationships. I like how you explained who is for Zoe & Harry and who’s not. Brilliam!! I also like how when you were explaining the girls, you didn’t explain them Bubbly, shy, and not trusting. I hate when that’s all the adjectives author can think about, so kudos to you!

Chapter. I think since because I think there quite a bit on the first chapter. That I only read the first chapter. So here goes. First, I only found 1 spelling, grammar, and capitalization. So congratulations on that part. One thing in this chapter, which I didn’t like was the spacing. Your story goes.

The annoying blare of my alarm clock rang through my room, causing me to stuff my head under my pillow, groaning when my mom barged into my room. "Zoe, get up! You need to go to school!" she yelled, throwing a pillow at me.
"Ugh, Mom! What did you do that for?" I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my tired eyes.
"Because, it was the only way for you to get up! Now hurry, we have to leave in thirty minutes!" she chirped, skipping out of my room. How on Earth that women can be so energetic at 7:30 in the morning, the world will never know. I sighed, standing from the warm confinements of my sheets. I went into the bathroom, brushing my hair and teeth, and applying some makeup. I went back into my room, shuffling through the outfits sorted in my closet, before finally deciding on a simple top and skirt. I made my way downstairs, into the kitchen where a breakfast of eggs and toast was waiting on the table for me, courtesy of my mother.
“Thanks for making me breakfast, Mom.” I kissed her cheek, sitting on one of the chairs to eat my delicious meal.
“Your welcome. Now, hurry up and eat, you have five minutes.” I quickly shoved the wonderful eggs down my throat, washing it down with a glass of orange juice. I shot up, carefully placing my dishes in the sink before grabbing my backpack and slinging it over my shoulders. “Ready to go?” my mom asked, grabbing her car keys.
“Yeah, let’s go.”

I think it should go. See how it all looks like one.

The annoying blare of my alarm clock rang through my room, causing me to stuff my head under my pillow, groaning when my mom barged into my room.
"Zoe, get up! You need to go to school!" she yelled, throwing a pillow at me.

"Ugh, Mom! What did you do that for?" I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my tired eyes.

"Because, it was the only way for you to get up! Now hurry, we have to leave in thirty minutes!" she chirped, skipping out of my room.
How on Earth that women can be so energetic at 7:30 in the morning, the world will never know. I sighed, standing from the warm confinements of my sheets. I went into the bathroom, brushing my hair and teeth, and applying some makeup. I went back into my room, shuffling through the outfits sorted in my closet, before finally deciding on a simple top and skirt. I made my way downstairs, into the kitchen where a breakfast of eggs and toast was waiting on the table for me, courtesy of my mother.

“Thanks for making me breakfast, Mom.” I kissed her cheek, sitting on one of the chairs to eat my delicious meal.

“Your welcome. Now, hurry up and eat, you have five minutes.” I quickly shoved the wonderful eggs down my throat, washing it down with a glass of orange juice. I shot up, carefully placing my dishes in the sink before grabbing my backpack and slinging it over my shoulders.
“Ready to go?” my mom asked, grabbing her car keys.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

See how that’s better. This goes for the rest of the chapter. I like the length of your updates, I also like how you out the date. That’s cool. I think that if you fix up these couple things, your story will be great! Hope you like this review! Much love XOXO.

Notes

Hope you enjoy your review love! Btw. I'm one of new coauthors. My names Michelle Paige (call me either one) I also go by Missesonedirection94. You'll be seeing much of me. So Hiii! Much love babes! XOXO