It Never Ends

*Louis's POV*

I wish that my fight with illianna could've changed things. Instead of her being with the crew, she was around much less.

If I could go back and repeat my actions, I would've address the whole Nathan problem first instead of the whole supplement shake thing.

We both messed up yesterday. It seems that every time we try to talk and work things out, it always leads into argument.

I know that I scared her when I started banging on her door. I just let my anger take control of me and felt guilty that I didn't address the situation like I was supposed.

I knew that illianna wouldn't tell Zayn or Ariana what happened, so it's not like I had to worry about getting grief from Zayn. But I knew that he would find out what eventually happened.

I want her to tell me about everything that happened between her and Nathan so bad, but I spent such a long time trying to forget about her and to move on. But I know that I never would.

Niall always told me that's where I was wrong, when I would try to get illianna out of my mind. He knew just as much as I did, that she was the right one for me.

I should've tried to work through what had happened between us and get it off my chest, to just let it all out, to not hold it in and to try to push it away. But the more I tried, the more distant we became with each other.

I knew that if I were to try to talk to her about it, I would just embarrass myself and let her down again.

The next morning I told my mom that I felt sick and wouldn't be going to school. The truth was that I just didn't want to face everybody. I didn't want to see illianna, Zayn, Ariana, Niall, Liam, Harry, any of my teachers, none of them.

I stared out my window just thinking and replaying my actions yesterday.

"Okay, sweetie. I'm heading out to work." My mom said as she came into my room.

She saw me staring out my window let out a sigh. "You like her."

I turned around. "What?"

"illianna. You like her."

"How do you know about her?"

" Niall is kind of my best friend." She shrugged.

I groaned and turned around. "I don't want to hear her name."

My mom walked across the room and kissed me on the top of my head.

"I love you Louis." She said against my hair.

She rested her cheek on the top of my head for a moment. "Feel better honey."

She kissed my hair and left my room.

I continued to stare out the window crazily thinking that maybe, just maybe, illianna would come by and I could apologize to her.

I got up from the window and sit down at the edge of my bed. My thoughts continued to run wild and I tried to think of a way to make my life better again.

For the both of us.

Notes

Just a short filler.