It Never Ends

*illianna’s POV*

It was a hard fought game.

It was a tough game.

It was the game I always waited for.

And it is now the last game of the season.

Tears poured from my eyes as I collapsed onto the grass field.

Whether it was Louis still in my thoughts, the brutal kick to my side, the fight I had when the referee wasn’t looking, or the loss that I’m suffering now, I’m reminded that I just played my last game.

We lost against Claremont High. 1-2.

And I’m not going to say that they cheated and were dirty players, it was just their game. They were the better team for the night. They deserve to advance in the playoffs.

I guess I’m just crying in sorrow. Probably frustration and anger. But I’m just feeling sorry for myself.

I looked up to see the Claremont girls huddled together in a bunch celebrating their victory.

My girls are spread across the field, their face in their knees. Our Coach is standing in shock, along with our school fans.

This loss is really having its effect on everyone. And the tears fall from my eyes again.

Zayn and the rest of boys are standing in the bleachers, hands over their mouths and their eyes wide.

Louis stares at me from where he’s standing, and it takes every muscle in my body to not walk over to him.

Claremont steps off the field, leaving me and my girls to remember that we lost in advancing into the playoffs.

The field is silent. The only sounds are crying noises. This is something we will all remember.

One by one, the girls stand up and walk off the field. Each of the girls walking to their boyfriend, their boyfriend giving them remorse.

I throw myself on the ground, wincing in pain as I now that my ribcage is severely bruised from when the Claremont #9 girl kicked me when the ref wasn’t looking.

I wipe the sweat and tears from my face as Ariana walks over to me.

“Come on Lily. It’s over. We’re done.” She whispers, her irritated eyes red.

I sniff and look away from her.

“No. It can’t be. We didn’t come this for to lose like this.” I defend.

“There’s always next year Lily. But we have to get off the field. We have to watch the guys play. We didn’t win, but they will. We have to support them.” Ariana chimes, trying to help me up.

I refuse her help and stand on my own. I walk away from her, leaving her to stand alone.

Next year doesn’t matter to me. I wanted to be in the playoffs this year.

I pass the boys’ team and my own team. There is nothing that no one can tell me that can take away the loss.

I know that it’s ridiculous for me to be feeling so disappointed in myself for losing, but no one will understand how much soccer really means to me.

The prayers I chanted before a game, the bruised legs I endured, the fighting when the referee wasn’t looking, and the surreal sensation I felt whenever I made a goal is something that no one would understand.

I feel the stares being set on me from the guys and girls on my team.

I know that I’m probably taking this loss a little too seriously, but what if we don’t make it to playoffs next year? I had so much confidence built up that it is now crumbled.

There was no way that I can stay to watch the boys play. After seeing their face expressions when the girls lost, I cannot stay to make the same face if they lose as well.

“illianna!” Ariana shouts. “Get over here. You can’t leave.”

I ignore her calling and continue to limp away, holding my side loosely.

“illianna.” a voice carries off.

I turn back and see Louis standing before me, prepared in his uniform to play.

I turn my head back around.

“illianna. Your eyes are swollen. Would you show them to me?” Louis asks.

“We just lost.” I cry out.

Louis takes a hold of my hand lightly and pulls me closer to him.

“You didn’t lose. You played good. You won to me.” he tries to explain.

For a minute, I was about to collapse into his chest like I did before.

But I remember everything.

Him and Jenna holding hands, them kissing each other, them being a new couple, and me dissing him today. I can’t do this.

I pull my hand from him.

“Lily, please.” Louis begins. “Just let me calm you.”

The words finally slip from my mouth.

“Well then break up with Jenna!” I yell.

“illianna, I…”

The referee blows the whistle, signaling that the next game is about to start.

“Can we talk about this later?” Louis pleads, small tears prickling from his eyes.

I sigh and chuckle.

“You know what Louis, I’ll tell you this right now.” I snap.

The boys’ Coach yells for Louis to walk out to the field. The guys as well.

“illianna, we’ll discuss this later. I have to go.” Louis sighs.

“You like me and I like you. And I’m sorry for these things I’ve done.” I admit, my voice beginning to fall as I feel my tears rise again.

“The way you said my name and the way you made me smile. I couldn’t feel it with anyone else and I hadn’t laughed in a while.” I sniff. “But it was different with you. I just though you would have felt it too.”

“Tomlinson! Let’s go or you won’t play at all!!” the boys’ Coach threatens.

Louis looks at me, shame written across his face.

“Good luck. Please win for me.” I beg, whispering.

Louis nods and starts to speak but I quickly turn away.

“Please break up with Jenna.” I pray to myself. “Please.”

Notes

I'm so sorry that it's taken me forever to update.
I've just had major work to catch up on and was trying to remember what to add on to this story.
Like I said before, some events that happen in this story will be true events so if any of you have questions, feel free to ask me.

Sorry that this chapter isn't that good. It was hard for me write because my team really didn't make it into the playoffs and it was depressing for me. And I needed something to start off on.

But anyway, please comment, rate, and subscribe please.