Always.

The light shining through Harry’s shitty see through curtains wake me up in the morning, though I am facing the opposite direction of them. I try to close my eyes and fall back asleep but it is no use. Harry’s arm is still lazily laid on my waist, and I don’t make an effort to move it.

Since I can’t really do anything without Harry being awake, I reach over to the night stand expecting to grab my phone but instead I just grab Harry’s. I remember that mine is still on the floor next to the pile of blankets on the floor from the previous night’s argument. Whatever though, on his screen are a few messages from his mom and Liam? What was Liam doing up so early? Oh, wait it’s like 10 o’clock. I guess it isn’t that early.

I turn in the bed and move Harry’s hand from my waist so I am facing the ceiling. Opening his phone, I swipe until I see The Game of Life app, which I had forced him to buy when he got an iPhone before me so I could play it all the time because I’m really good at it. Honestly, I only like it because it is a pretty mindless game. . . you just spin a wheel and pick a career and have babies. Pink and blue ones. Before I even realize, I have played 6 rounds of this game, winning four of them because I am a champion. I giggle at my thoughts.

“What’s so funny?” his sleepy voice startles me and before I know it his phone falls straight onto my bottom lip.

“Harry!” I whine, moving the phone and touching my lip with my hand.

“Shit, Kelly.” He laughs, meanwhile my lip is bleeding.

“Shut up.” I touch my lip with my hand and pull it away as soon as I feel the sting.

“Wait,” he moves my hovering hand from over my lips and leans in to look at it. “Kel, you split your whole lip.” He touched the spilt with his thumb making me jerk.

“Ouch, Harry.” I pushed him to the side and shifted on the bed. “Do you have any carmex you dickhead?”

“Not with that language.” He gets out of the bed and walks to his bathroom. “You need some orbit for that dirty mouth.” He mutters and then laughs at himself.

“You’re an idiot.” I whisper as he walks back into the room.

“Sounds like you don’t really want the carmex, huh?” he says sitting by me.

“Ha-Ha.” I grab the carmex from him and open it to spread it over my lips.

“Why were you using my phone?” he asks, reaching behind me and grabbing it

“Mine was too far away,” I shrug. “And you have Life so… I assume the rest is self-explanatory.”

“Mhmmm.” He hummed, unlocking his phone and scrolling through it. “Gross, you got lip on it!” he wipes his phone vigorously. His eyes were concentrated, and his face showed it, brows furrowed, forehead crinkled, and tongue sticking out of his mouth.

“You are… I need to go get my car.” I sighed, falling back on the bed.

“Then let’s go.” He slaps my stomach causing me to clutch it.

“Alright. Butthead.”

We got in his car and drove to the school with the radio playing in the background. I played on my phone, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram and Twitter.

“We’re here.” Harry announces.

I look up and see my car next to us. “Oh, thanks Harry.” I sigh, unbuckling my seatbelt. How’d we get here so fast?

“Uh,” I look at him scratching his neck, avoiding eye contact. “Are you gonna be okay?” he asked, and before I could even think of my answer in my head he spoke again. “I have somewhere to be and I just want to make sure you’re okay alone.”

I smile at him. “Yea Harry. I’ll be fine. I’m just gonna go home and get ready… I’ll be fine.”

“Have fun with Liam.” He whispers.

“Thanks… Have fun- wherever you’re going. I’ll see you later.” I open the door and step out, shutting the door when he says Goodbye.

I throw my wallet and phone into the passenger’s seat and leave the parking lot behind Harry. When turning out of the school, he goes the opposite way of our house. Oh my God, I really want some pizza… Where did that come from?

The drive home wasn’t long. I looked at the empty space where his car was last and let out a sigh of relief.

I parked my car to run in and take a nice, long and hot shower. I let the steam fill the room and take a deep breath to begin getting lost in the calmness of my surrounding.

When I finished my shower I was really nervous for the date with Liam. I had no idea what to wear. I wasn’t sure if teaching me football was a joke or not.

*ding*

The set ringtone on my iphone sounds from my bed.

Thank God it is Liam. I pick up the phone and see his text answer my previous thoughts.

From Liam:
Hey, pick you up at 5? Football then dinner after?

Shoot, he wasn’t joking.

To Liam:
If you’re planning on getting me to understand football, we should have started the date a week ago.

From Liam:
Ha-ha. J I’m sure you’ll do great, probably better than you think.

To Liam:
Taking bets?

From Liam:
We’ll see. I’ll see you soon.

I smile at the text that ends with the cute winking emoji, and throw the phone on the bed turning to my closet.

I decide on some loose jeans that don’t reach my ankles and for my top, a tan cropped tank with the words “free spirit” on it. My shoes are tan converse to match, and of course my bracelet completes my outfit. I thought about a bun for my hair but then I figure that a braid would be better… it would make it look like I put some effort in.

We were just playing football and dinner, so I put a couple of coats of mascara on my upper lashes and leave it with that.

***

“You look lovely.” Liam says as soon as I open the door. “Very football appropriate.” He nodded.

I laugh, “Thanks Liam. Oh-” I reach in the house and grab his jacket off the hanger in the house. “Here. Thanks for letting my use it yesterday. I didn’t think it would be that cold.” I handed it to him.

“Of course. Didn’t want you freezing.” He flashed me a white, squinty-eyed smile causing me to look at my shoes.

“Right.” I shut and locked the door behind me and followed him to his car. “So…” I begin once I step in and put my purse and sweatshirt in my lap. “We’re really playing football?”

“Yea… maybe.” He begins driving.

“One on one? How does that work… serious question.”

“Hell, I didn’t even think about that. Maybe we can watch a game sometime and I’ll tell you?” I smile at him and nod. “That’s all I had planned, except for dinner after…” he sounds embarrassed.

“Uh, do you have a basketball? You can teach me that. I like basketball more anyway.” I shrug.

“Really?” he sits up in his seat again.

“Yea. It’s easier for one on one… easier for me to beat your ass.”

He laughs loudly and adjusts his seating. One hand on the wheel, the other on the center console. “We’ll see Ericson. I’ve been starting lineup since my freshman year.” He plays.

“Oh, bad ass Liam.” I smiled and he returned it.

“That’s what they call me.” He nods and turns on a street in Kimberling City.

“So are you just naturally good at everything?” I ask, as he turns again. I suspect we’re heading to the park down here.

“No, definitely not. I’ve worked my ass off.” He says.

“Oh, okay. Good.”

We pull up to the park in the next minute. There are tennis, basketball, and volleyball courts. Then it has a small playground complete with swing sets and monkey bars.

“You have a basketball?” I asked him, getting out of the car.

“I do. I play a lot, and tennis with my dad, so I have some balls for that too.”

“We’ll start with basketball.” I laughed. “What about baseball?” the ultimate test.

“No. Too long.”

“Ha-ha. I agree. Remember when they used to take us to games in Springfield in intermediate school?”

“To be honest,” he closes his trunk and we walk to the court. “All I remember from that is the hot dogs and coco-cola.” He shakes his head.

“Liam! Why didn’t we eat hot dogs, drink cola, and complain about how boring baseball is together?!”

“I don’t know! Well, I was a chubby thing back then, socially awkward and all that.”

“Again. Perfect.” I smiled.

“Alright.” He says, putting his stuff down on the bench on the side of the court. “Half court, one on one. Want me to go easy on you?”

I weighed the options in my head, “You do whatever you feel. Either way I’m going to win.” I shoot him a confident glance though there is absolutely no way I’m going to win against him.

“So confident Ericson.” He dribbles the basketball with his left hand

“It’s one of my many fabulous qualities, Bad Ass Liam.” I giggle. “So bets?” Psyching him out.

“Depends.”

“Loser buys dinner.”

“What kind of gentlemen would I be if I let you pay for dinner?” he stops right in front of me and puts the ball in both his hands.

“You’re implying that I’m gonna lose?” he put his hands up, skillfully holding on to the basketball. “Fine. Loser pays for dessert.”

“You brought money?”

I take the ball from him and push his chest a little. I bounced the ball once on the ground while looking at him. He watched me, and I crouched a bit to take the shot, all while my eyes were on him. Please go in, please go in, please go in. HOLY SHIT! I tried not to show the shock on my face when the ball went through the hoop. “I’m not gonna need it.” I smile.

The look of shock on his face was apparent as well. “I’m not going easy, Kelly.” He smiled.

“Let’s play!”
~~~

This was it, the last point. Liam and I were currently tied. How the hell that happened I don’t know. I mean I knew I could throw it in the hole but did I think I would be tried with Liam no. “I should say thing to psych you out.” I say while dribbling then stop and move to take the shot.

Liam reaches up to block it and succeeds, getting the ball. “This was actually closer than I expected… game point.” He smiles sweetly. Even when he’s competing with me he’s so sweet. Damn the way his eyes squint when he smiles.

In my lost thoughts of how cute Liam was, he takes the shot and wins the last point. “Damn it.” I whisper and turn around to see him with the ball in his hand.

“You were incredible Ericson.” he says as we meet each other and gives me a one armed hug.

“Thanks Bad Ass Liam.. Living up to your name.” I laugh. “I just got distracted.” I shook my head.

“By what?” he asks.

“I’ll tell you some day. What’s for dinner? I haven’t exercised like that since… oh my God I can’t even remember but I’m starving.”

He picks his stuff from the bench and we walk to his car. “You like pizza?” he asks opening his trunk.

“Understatement.” I replied causing him to smile again. He has the cutest squinty-eyed smile.. Almost as cute as Harry’s dimpled-smile.

“Good.” He walks over to my door and opens it for me to get it and then shuts it. “I meant to do that early. I was a little nervous.” He admits once he’s in the car again.

“Nervous? Around me… why?” I laugh.

“You just seem so sure of everything.” He answers after a couple minutes, and stop signs, of thinking.

“I’m the farthest thing from sure.” I sigh, looking out the window. “You shouldn’t have been nervous. I’m pretty laid back and easily pleased, to be honest.”

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked.

We had passed most of the pizza places in the area, so I assumed we were going to Pizza Hut, or Reeds Spring Pizza Co. if he has good taste. “Sure.”

“Why’d you agree to come with me tonight?”

I turned and looked at him, no eyes meeting mine. His were focused on the road ahead. I moved in my seat and stared forward as well. Why would he ask a question like that? “Why did you ask me?”

“Kelly, you just answered my question with a question.”

“I’m aware.”

He sighed and looked at me. “You’re very pretty.” Well, fuck. Now I’m blushing. “You’re smart, nice, and I like hanging out with you at school or talking to you. Just seeing you. You’re quite fun to be around.”

“Uh—I… thank you.” I mumbled. “I guess that I just… oh my gosh, Liam this is really awkward.”

“I answered so you have to.” He smiles.

“We get along well, you are an attractive individual. We have a lot in common and I like your personality.” I bit my lip and looked out the window.

I heard him laughing from beside me. “Liam!” I nudge his arm that’s on center consol. “Stop laughing at me.” He tries to hide his laughter but it doesn’t work so I laugh with him.

We pull up outside of small pizza joint and the aroma fills my nostrils. “I am so excited.”

“Right then, let’s go.” He says and we jump out of the car and walk into the building. “Two please.”

“This way.” I’m almost 100 percent sure the one leading us to the table went to our school so I smiled politely, I mean I would have anyway but.. God, I don’t know.

“Thanks Jake.” Liam says and pats him on the back before we take a seat.

“Yea man. Can I get you guys anything to drink?” he asks.

Liam looks at me, letting my go first. “Uhm, can I just have water please?” I ask.

“Yea.” Jake nods. Jake has nice teeth, really white. I try to think about his white teeth so I don’t laugh at him.

“I’ll just have water too, man.”

“Coming right up guys.”

“Liam,” I whisper once Jake was out of ear. “Is it bad that I thought about the State Farm commercial and just wanted to laugh?” I bite my lip in attempt to hold in my giggles.

Liam laugh-squints and I do too. “I guess it wasn’t helping that he was wearing khakis?” he asks through laughter.

I shake my head. “No!” I laugh.

“Here are your waters.” Jake comes up again, startling us both.

“Thank you.” I say, taking a sip. I always take a sip right when I get a drink… habit.

“Are you ready to order?” Shit, no.

“What do you usually get?” Liam asks.

“The 7 cheese…” I say, but I don’t want him to get it just because of me.

“That’s what Liam here gets half the time.” I look at Jake and smile. “So a 7 cheese?” We both nod and Jake leaves, saying it will be here soon.

“Where are you going after graduation?” he asks.

“Well, I was accepted to Mizzou and Arizona State for Journalism. I think I might go to Mizzou.”

“We might go to school together again.” He smiles.

“Really? That would be so cool! Us Reeds Spring students, taking over.” I laugh.

“It would be.”

“Can we get that to go?” the voice is quiet but I already know who it is. I try not to look at him, but Liam does for me and motions to him.

“Harry!” he greets.

“Liam,” Harry walks toward us with Caroline’s hand in his. “Kelly. Didn’t think we’d see you two here.” Liam stands and gives him a ‘bro hug’ I stand too so I don’t feel as awkward.

“Hi, Kelly.” Caroline greets with a wide white smile. Jesus what is with all these white ass smiles, do they go to the dentist every day?

“Hey Caroline, How are you?” I ask, this is awkward.

“Good, we were just out and got hungry so we decided to come here and grab some pizza. I suggested eating here and Harry said he’s never been.” She smiles up at him, who is now listening to the conversation with Liam.

He is such a liar. “Harry! You’ve never been here?” I question, sending him a challenging glance.

“I haven’t. I’ve heard it’s good though.”

“Oh it’s absolutely delicious.” She puts a hand on his chest and I feel like I’m going to be sick. “We got the seven cheese.” She said.

“Sounded good.” He says, probably because that’s what we get every time we eat here.

“Yea, I think you’ll like it Harry.” I say with a smile and pour every ounce of fake sincerity into my voice that I can.

“Uh, excuse me.” Jake walks up behind them with our pizza.

“We got the same.” Liam points out while Jake set it on the table.

“Harry, your pizza will be ready soon.”

“Thanks, mate.” He pats Jake on the back. “Well, we should go wait. Didn’t mean to interrupt your date.” Caroline smiled her stupid smile beside him. Stupid. “See you both later.” He smiled and waved to us as he walked back to the front.

“How has he never been here?” Liam asks.

“I don’t know.” I sigh grabbing a slice and putting it on my plate.

I literally was probably the most boring person to try and converse with after Harry and Caroline went to sit down in the front of the building. I could see them the whole time, until they got their pizza of course. I couldn’t help but sneak glances every time I sipped my water, which was frequent.

I felt bad of course. Here I am with sweet squinty laugh Liam and I’m thinking about my best friend. Why?

We finished our meal and left the rest. I ate 3 slices and he ate 4. There was one left but we were going to have dessert and I was NOT going to be full. I had told him where I wanted to go during our meal and he agreed completely. I liked Liam, I really did. He was very similar to me, and very sweet, and had a squinty laugh which I should really stop thinking about.

We arrived at Pop’s Dari Del and got out of the car. The environment wasn’t awkward between us, it was nice. I had slipped on my sweater I brought along because it got pretty chilly and getting ice cream wasn’t going to help.

“I want the chocolate and vanilla cone. What would you like?”

“I’ll have the same thing.” I said, pulling out my wallet.

“You are not paying.” He said.

“Liam I lost, it’s fair.” I said moving him out of the way to pay. “See, easy.” I smile.

“Here you two go.” The worker handed us out ‘twists’ which are ice cream cones that are tall and twisty and that’s all I can do to describe them.

We move to the picnic table and sat on the table, feet on the seats. We were actually close, which was okay because my whole side was warm. I looked at the building Pop’s was in. It looked like it had been here for ages in this ‘historic downtown Reeds Spring.’ It was a drive in and looks like it could have belonged in the ages of sock hops… it could have been in Grease.

“I love this place.” I whispered, licking my ice cream.”

“Me too. It’s simple.”

I nodded and turned to him. “Exactly.” And that was the conversation until we got back into his car. We just sat really close, quietly and enjoyed Pop’s.

---

“Thank you for tonight.” Liam walked me to my door of my house and I speak right away. “I had a lot of fun. Really.. Can’t wait for football.”

He laughed at me. “Don’t really believe the last part, but I am glad you had fun. So did I!”

“We’re gonna have to play basketball again you know. So I can properly kick your bum, Bad Ass Liam.”

“Alright Ericson, I won’t go easy next time.”

I hit his arm and gasped. “YOU WENT EASY ON ME?! Liam! I was wondering how the hell we were tied.”

“Well, it would be easier to say that but to be honest no. You’re good Kelly.”

“I don’t know when that happened.” I shook my head.

“Well, I’ll see you on Monday.” He said.

“Monday.”

He stands there awkwardly for a bit, and I wait, and wait… and wait. But he doesn’t kiss me. He hugs me softly, and then flashes me a squinty-grin when he pulls away.

“Bye, Kelly.”

“Bye Liam.”

I watch him walk to his car and then I open the door to my house and step in…

Why didn’t he kiss me?

Notes