Always.

“Mate, that was sick!” as we make our way towards the field, Harry is the first to run up to Liam. “I didn’t think you were gonna make that touchdown.” He pats him on the back then pulls away.

“Yea, Liam! It was like slow motion! Then you jumped over that guy. I was out of my seat!” Louis pats his shoulder too.

“Seriously, he almost pushed me down the bleachers he was so excited!” I add, jokingly.

“At least we know I would have gone with you!” Louis replies to me then turns to Liam. “Every time she lost her balance, even just a little bit, she grabbed on to me. She’s already trying to kill me.” He rolls his eyes.

“She’s a smart one.” Zayn says.

“She’s really talented too, you should hear her sing.” Liam sends a warm smile.

I smile back at him but look away shyly, and as I do I catch Harry’s expression. He almost looks angry or disappointed. I’m not exactly sure to be honest. When he catches my gaze I give him a concerned expression but he just shakes it off.

“Payne, come on.” One of the coaches, I think, calls him.

“Alright, coach! Thank you guys for coming! I’ll see you all later; I have to get on the bus.” He motions toward the rest of the team walking off the field. He ‘bro hugs’ the boys, and gives Perrie and sweet side hug. When he comes to me it’s almost awkward, at least I feel like it would be. I mean it still is because he’s still in his football uniform, but the hug wasn’t. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispers in my ear before running to his team.

“Alright, let’s leave! Papa needs his sleep!”

“Louis… You’re honestly really strange.” I laugh.

“You’ll get used to it.” Perrie says looping her arms through mine as we walk to the car. Louis skips in front of us causing Perrie and I to exchange glances. “… it may just take a while.”

The seating arrangement in the car is the same as the drive here. There’s music quietly playing in the back and I find myself slowly dosing off, the last thing I remember is my head on Perrie’s shoulder.

“Kelly… Kelly wake up.” I feel a slight shake om my arms and the deep voice speaks again. “Come one Kelly..” Harry’s hand rubs down my upper arm, causing me to raise my head from Perrie’s shoulder.

“Where are we?” I ask tiredly as a stretch a bit and try to get my eyes to read adjust.

“The school, come on now. Zayn has to get Perrie and Lou home.”

I sigh and reach my arms to him and he pulls me out of the car.

“You driving her home, man? She looks exhausted.” I look up and see Zayn with a cigarette between his fingers leaning against his car.

“Yea, I will.” He answers Zayn.

“Alright,” he steps on the cancer stick. “I’ll see you guys Monday.”

“Thanks for the ride.” I manage to say and he smiles and nods before getting into his car.

“Mk, let’s hit it. I’m exhausted.” I hang my head and walk to Harry’s car, which we weren’t far from.

When we are both in the car it’s really quiet. Harry doesn’t say anything or turn anything on while we’re driving. “Are you okay?” I ask yawning.

“He heard you sing?” he asked trying to act like he wasn’t affected, but the hurt was laced in his voice.

“Yea.” I shrug and rest my head against the window. My eyes close and I listen to Harry take a couple breaths.

“When?”

I sigh loudly, making sure he hears it which isn’t hard because of the lack of any other sound in the air. I just wanted him aware. “Earlier today.”

“That’s where you went during homeroom isn’t it? You said you were busy, but you went to hang out with Liam! Why didn’t you just tell me?” My eyes open to see his lips moving furiously, mumbling inaudible words.

“Are we seriously doing this right now? Harry, I don’t have the energy to argue with you tonight.” I just want to sleep.

“Just answer the question.”

“Is this why you’re driving me home? So you can interrogate me?”

“Kelly!” he yells.

“Harry!” I feel my whole face turn red. “God, I went to the band room and played piano then he came in! I didn’t realize the door didn’t shut, and he listened outside. Stop yelling at me! This is becoming a constant thing, and we both bring it up! I’m honestly tired of it.” I throw my head against the back of the seat.

“Why did you go there?” he was calmer now, and when I just crossed my arms without saying a word he continued. “You were mad weren’t you?” he looks at me with worry in his eyes. “Look, I really am sorry fo-”

“For what? For leaving? You know what you should be sorry for? For coming to my house and getting drunk and then… UGH! I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“We need to talk about it!” he says. “I know I was being an idiot.”

“Yea, a really big fucking idiot.” I mutter under my breath. The outside homes passing by are suddenly more interesting than the conversation in this vehicle. And luckily they began to look very familiar.

“I know. I didn’t mean to, I realize we promised it wouldn’t happen again after last time.” The anger that was once in his voice was gone, and now it was just like he was sorry… “You didn’t care that I left right? It was just about what happened.” He concluded..

I decided not to say anything again. The rest of the ride to our homes was silent besides our breathing and the car engine. When the car stopped in front of Harry’s house I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out of the car without saying a word to him. I was halfway to my door when I heard him come up behind me.

“Kel, wait.” He places a hand on my shoulder and turns me to look at him.

“What?” I basically whisper.

“I don’t want you mad at me because of this.”

“I’m not mad because of.. ugh, I mean I’m pissed at you! I am pissed because you are being crazy! You yell at me for the stupidest things or you get angry! Then other times you’re the nice best friend I’ve had since I was little! I’m so pissed at you for not acting like your usual self. I am angry at you for a lot of things, which I guess is obvious, but this really isn’t one of them.” His jaw drops slightly. “The first time. . . we were in it together, it’s what we wanted.” It’s weird bringing it up. “but last night was… I should have stopped it and told you to go home or something, but I didn’t! That’s what I am mad about, because of something I didn’t do, okay?”

He shakes his head, and then nods it. “Yea. I uh-.”

“I think I’m going to bed now.” I try to turn but he catches me again and pulls me into a hug. My arm hesitantly wrap around him before I let go.

“Listen, I really am sorry. Please don’t be mad; I need you to talk to me.”

I back up from him, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will?” Why does he have to do this to me? He’s stupid then he acts sweet, hurt or sorry and then I feel bad for being mad. Literally, can he just be a bitch about a situation so I feel okay about being mad? No, instead his voice is full of hope, as if I was never going to talk to him again and he just heard the news of the century.

“You have to take me to my car… Goodnight, Harry.” I finally get to my door and unlock it.

“Night, Kel.” I hear him say as I shut my door. The frustration kicks in and I rub my face with my hands.

“Where have you been?” Are you fucking kidding me?

I sigh before answering and moving away from the door. “I went to a football game.” I look at my dad, who’s sitting on the couch with a glass of cola in his hand. Only it isn’t just cola, it has either Crown Royal or Wild Turkey in it… The guy must think I’m an idiot.

“You didn’t tell me about it.”

“Because you usually don’t care…” honestly, harry now him. I’m literally so over today.

“Who’d you go with?”

“Some friends, I’m going to bed now.” I try and walk to my room but he stands and stops me.

“Not so fast young lady. I asked who you went with.” I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Yes, and I told you.”

“Do not get smart with me.”

“God. I went with Harry, Louis, Zayn and Perrie to watch Liam play.” LET ME LEAVE!

“So what? Are you whoring around now?”

I stepped back from him, suddenly angrier than before. “What the hell dad!”

“Oh, you don’t think I heard you last night? You think I’m a stupid old man? How’d he even get in here?” he steps closer as his voice gets louder.

I’m suddenly thrown back into childhood, where this would happen often and even then no one was here to defend me. I was weak and scared then, and I showed it. Since then I’ve learned not to. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I shook my head. “I’m going to bed.” I move again but his hand reaches to grip my arm.

“Do not walk away while I’m talking to you!” he yells. “I am still in charge of you and this house. I will not be having him come over all the time so you can give it up to him. Plus who’s jacket is this?”

“Do not touch me.” My voice staccatos with each word as I pull his hand from my arm. “Listen, Dad. I understand you hold that title, but let’s get one thing straight. I am not that same little girl who you threatened all the time when mom was around. You are not my father, you can tell me anything you’d like but I won’t listen. You’re a drunk and have nothing really going for you anymore. Hell, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t even being living in this house. Lord knows you can’t keep a job to save you lame excuse for a life!”
I scream at the top of my lungs. The words I’ve wanted to say for so long just tumble out of me. Rage was boiling through my body with everything that has gone on today. I don’t stop until I see his hand fly forward and land on my cheek causing my head to whip to the side. I lift my hand to my own cheek then look him in the eyes. He doesn’t even blink. “Fuck you.” I spit then run towards my room making sure to slam the door and then lock it.

Literally what the hell have I done to deserve this? To deserve and ass of a step-father… I pace around my room in anger throwing my hair up in a bun that probably looks like shit. Before I can even realize I’ve changed into shorts and a t-shirt, but I slide on some flip flops from my closet.

Making sure my phone is in hand I shut off my light and make my way towards the window. I quickly open it and step out. I can see that his lamp are on from here so I take the few steps to Harry’s and knock on the window. He opens with a worried expression and helps me inside.

“Thanks.” I whisper.

“Kel, what happened? You’re crying.” He wipes his thumbs underneath my eyes. I focus on the ground, I didn’t even realize I was crying. “Kelly, what-” His hand runs over my cheek causing me to cringe. “Kelly. . .” he takes notice to my right cheek and looks at it closer. “Don’t tell me he fucking did this to you.” He tries again to make me speak, to make me look at him. “Kelly. Fucking talk to me!” he doesn’t raise his voice to loud, but it’s a noticeable change. “Please.”

“Harry.” I whimper but try to hold in my tears. “I just want to go to sleep.” I don’t know how he heard the words but he did because he nodded. Before he let me move though he pulled me into his chest and that’s when I noticed he was shirtless. I let a shaky breath before just crying and not quietly.

The tears didn’t seem to stop and Harry didn’t stop me either, he just let me cry as he rub a hand over my back; the other on the back of my head.

When I finally gained control of myself I stepped and wiped the tears away. “Sorry.” I sniffed.

“Don’t be. . . Let’s go to bed.” He flicks his head toward the bed but I shake my head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ll sleep on the floor.” I walk over to his closet and pull out a blanket and pillows.

“Kelly, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.”

“Harry, I’m not sleeping with you.” I throw the stuff on the ground.

“Fuck, Kel. Take the bed I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No, Harry it’s your bed I’m fine.”

“Kelly, take the damn bed. I’m not gonna take no for an answer.” He towers over me and I look up at him trying to stand my ground but I can’t do this anymore. I sigh and walk to his bed. The covers are already pulled back so I just slide in pulling the covers to my chin.

Harry turns off the lamp and settles on the floor. We face each other, him lowers than I am

I laid there awake for a good twenty minutes turning in the bed and staring at the ceiling.

“Kel.”

“Harry.” I reply, and then wait a minute before I turn on my side away from him and decided to speak again. “He heard us.” I whisper.

When I think he may have fallen asleep, I hear his footsteps then feel the blankets being moved as he slips in the bed behind me. His arm lands over my waist, his thumb moving up and down on my stomach and I don’t have the energy to move. “Kelly, love.” His hot breath hits my ear. “Get some sleep.” He whispers again then kisses the back of my head.

I try to sleep, but it doesn’t come. Now Harry really has fallen asleep, light snores fill the room. I try to focus on it to help me fall asleep but I just end up realizing that I always end up here. I always come to Harry, he could have killed my dog and I would come to him. It’s not that I’m dependent on him it just that. . . actually I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s only because we’ve known each other for so long, it can’t be anything more. He’s just always here for me.

So here I am, in his bed with him, falling asleep in his arms for the second night in a row.

Notes