(A/N: Hey all, sorry for not updating sooner! I went outside of the country for a couple weeks on a cruise so I had no service and then I came home to terrible news. So I've been quite busy with living life the past couple weeks. I apologize for the wait, but I'm back!)



Two months later



“HARRY STOP!” I shouted as I watched him walk towards the door. “HARRY I NEED YOU! I CAN’T LOSE YOU. PLEASE STOP.”

My eyes bore into his as a grimacing smirk spread across his face.

“Lose me?” he chuckled satanically. “How can you lose something you never really had to start with, Ella?”

“Harry, you know I’m Spencer.” I cried.

“Spencer? No, I don’t know a Spencer, stop playing dumb Ella.” He rolled his eyes.

“Spencer! I’M SPENCER.” I cried out. “You know who I am!”

“Do I though?” his eyes shoot through me.

“I’m your fiancée!” I held up my hand. “We’re in love.”

I couldn’t control my sobbing. I was a mess. Why was he doing this?

“Fiancée?” he laughed menacingly. “I’d never be engaged to a lying whore, like you, Ella.”

“Spencer!” I lost control completely and collapsed down onto the bed.

“Whatever, Spencer, Ella…you’re all the same.” He chuckled before leaving the bedroom.

I hugged my knees to my chest in attempts to slow my sobbing and regain control my breathing. Nothing was working though. I heard the front door slam signaling he was gone. For good. He was so cruel and heart breaking. How could he do this to me? Thinking more about it only made my sobbing increase.

I felt like my body was being shaken, forcefully. I heard the faint sound of my name being called. No one could be calling me, no one was here. No one cared.

“Spencer!” I finally realized someone was talking to me.

I opened my eyes through the fogginess of my tears. I wiped my face with the back of my hand.

“Kasi?” I groaned, groggy.

“You were dreaming babe.” She hugged me.

“Dreaming? You mean nightmaring.” I sighed.

“I don’t think that’s a word.” She smiled down at me. I giggled for the first time in weeks.

Kasi had been sleeping next to me in bed. We had a movie night and she crashed here for the night. I was spending a lot of time with the girls lately. I needed someone around me. More times than not, someone was sleeping next to me in my bed. Harry’s bed. Our bed. But it wasn’t Harry.

Harry had left for tour a couple months ago. It was so rough without him here. We were still together but deep down I knew we were straining as a couple. We still talked on a daily basis but it was weird.

After our fight over the ‘Beside You’ video, Harry had spent the night at a friend’s house. He came back the next morning and we had a short day to work through things. A day wasn’t enough this time though. He had to leave for London the next day to start rehearsals for tour. After that, he started tour and that was that. We are still engaged, we are still in love, but it’s hard. We needed time to heal from the fight, which was our ugliest one yet, and we never got that. We were dealing with it halfway across the world from each other. He was having just as hard as of time as I was. We needed to be dealing with this together, on the same continent.

“Was it the same one as before?” Kasi asked, snuggling me close.

“Yeah, I don’t get it.” I started crying again.

“Do you think it’s because you’re going over there tomorrow?” she rubbed soothing circles on my back.

“Maybe, they’re been getting worse the closer it gets.” I sighed. “I’ve had this every night this week so far.”

“It’s natural to react like this.” Kasi kissed my forehead. “You’re worried about seeing him. You haven’t seen him in over 2 months and you guys left each other on a really shitty note. It’s normal to have uncertainties.”

“I know, I’m so scared.” I wiped my tears. Kasi always knew what to say to help.

“Of what baby, tell me?” he hugged me closer.

“I don’t want to get all the way over there for him to tell me it’s over.”

“He’s not going to do that and you know it.”

“I really don’t though.”

“He wouldn’t have drug it out this long, Spencer. You know that, he wants to be with you.” I could barely make out her rolling her eyes in the dark.

“He’s a proper guy. He wouldn’t want to do it over the phone. He’d wait to do it in person no matter how long that meant.”

“You have a point, but he’s also someone who is straight forward. In the end, like all human beings, he wants the best for himself. He’s not going to stick around a relationship that has no hope.”

“We have no hope.”

“With that attitude, you don’t.” she playfully slapped my arm. “You guys are engaged. You’ve been through so much bullshit that you know damn well you aren’t going to throw away over a music video and a picture of you and another guy.”

“I told him everything about me and Luke though.” I cried again. “He’s probably realizing how horrible I am and he’s ready to dump me as soon I step foot on Japanese soil.”

“That’s not true and you know it. He wouldn’t have called you every damn day since he’s left for two months if that was the case.”

“I don’t know.” I sighed for the hundredth time since waking up. “I’m just scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared, Spencer.” Kasi held me close. “And you know that no matter what happens in the next few days, you have people all around who love you. You’ll be okay no matter the outcome.”

“I know, I love you. Thanks for staying over tonight.” I hugged her tight.

“I would do it every night if you needed me too. Who are you snuggling up to tonight?” he chuckled.

“Um…” I tried to think of an excuse.

“What?” she said sternly. “Who?”

“I’m going out with Ella tonight.” I shrugged.

“Ella? As in Elle George? The girl that got you re-addicted to drugs?”

“We’re going out to catch up. We’re going to have a few drinks and then I’ll be tucked in bed for a good night’s sleep. I won’t miss that flight.”

“Spencer, be careful.” Kasi pleaded. “Please.”

“It’s a few drinks Kas, I’ll be fine.”

We separated and curled back into our side of the bed. I sighed.

“What time is it anyways?” I groaned.

“Um…” Kasi checked her phone. “4:27.”

“Too early. Let’s sleep a few more hours.”

“Gladly.” Kasi chuckled before pulling the covers up higher. “Love you.”

“I love you.”





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(Later that day)

I was packing the last of my clothes and things for my trip to Asia. We had planned for me to come out before the whole fight happened and we decided I still should. Harry and I needed this time. We needed to talk face to face, to hold one another, to cry together. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was prepared for the worst.

As if he knew I was about to have another mental breakdown, my phone began to light up with his name.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey baby.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

The weird part about this whole situation is that he always seemed for happy. I had no idea if it was a façade to keep me calm or what, but he was good at it. Whether he was truly happy or not, he pulled it off perfectly.

“How are you? What time is it there?” I asked.

“It’s a little after 1 in the morning. We’re on the bus to Tokyo.”

“That’s exciting.” I said.

“You know what else is exciting?” he asked.

“What’s that?”

“That fact that my beautiful fiancée will be here in Tokyo with me in 3 days.” I heard the excitement in his voice.

“Yes, it’ll be great being on 12 hour longs flights and having an overnight layover in Canada. Oh yes, I can’t wait at all.” I chuckled sarcastically.

“But in the end, it’ll be worth it.” He said.

“It better be.” I sighed unsure.

“You know it will be. We’ve never been to Tokyo together before!” he cheered.

“I’ve never been to Tokyo ever.” I laughed.

“So even better, I’m taking your Tokyo virginity.” I knew he was wearing his signature smirk.

“I can’t wait.” I smiled.

I wasn’t lying but I also wasn’t telling the full truth. I couldn’t wait. This was going to be an unbelievable trip. I was experiencing a part of the world that I had never been too before. But at the same time, I knew we were together but I wasn’t sure where we stood honestly. He just called me his fiancée so that’s good.

“Me either baby, I miss you.”

“We talk every day Harold.” I rolled my eyes. It was true though. I missed him too.

“It’s not the same as being with you in person though.” He sighed.

“You know we have a lot to talk about when I get there?”

“Yes, we do. I’m glad we’re finally going to talk things through honestly. We need this time. If I could leave the tour for a couple weeks so we could just disappear to some random island, I would.”

“You know I’d never let you do that.”

“I know babe. You’re all about my career.”

“Speaking of careers…we have more to talk about than us when I come.” I smiled.

“Did you quit your job or something?” he asked, concerned.

“What? No!” I shouted.

“Well you said speaking of careers.” He chuckled.

“No it’s good.” I said.

“Good, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” He stated. “How’d your night with Kasi go?”

“It was good. We watched a couple movies and gossiped all night.”

I left out the part about the nightmare of him leaving me. I hadn’t told him about since it started a couple weeks after he left for the tour. I didn’t feel like I needed to have that on him as well. He has so much on his plate, he doesn’t need my petty problems.

“I’m glad you’ve been able to catch up with the girls. Any big plans tonight?”

“Not really.” I sighed. Here goes nothing. “I’m just going to have a couple drinks with Ella.” I faded off at the end in attempt to not get a lecture from him.

“I’m sorry.” Harry started. “Did you say Ella?”

“I might have.” I sighed. “Listen, I don’t need a lecture about how she’s the one who got me hooked on Xanax and how she contributed to my overdose. I know. Okay? Kasi already gave me hell. It’s a couple drinks, we’re going to catch up and then I’m going to come home and sleep. I have an early flight to catch. A flight I’m not missing for anything. One night isn’t going to turn my back into a user. Have some faith in me. Trust me.”

“I do trust you. It’s her that I don’t trust.” He sighed.

“I’m a big girl, Harry. I’ll be okay.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I know you can handle yourself. You’ve been clean for so long, I have no worries.”

“Thank you.” I knew he was just saying that to please me.

“Babe, I wish I could talk to you all night but I’m beat. Tonight’s show was insane. 63,000 screaming fans Spenc, it was amazing. The venue in Tokyo is apparently even bigger. I can’t wait for you to be back on tour. Last year was so fun.”

“I can’t wait either. Go get some sleep.”

“Alright babe, be careful tonight.”

“I will, call me tomorrow when you get a chance? I have a layover in Toronto and then I have that overnight layover in Vancouver tomorrow night.”

“Okay, I’ll call you when I get a chance. Just text me when you land and everything. We have a busy media day tomorrow.”

“Alright.” I sighed. This was the part I hated. I hated hanging up.

“I love you. Forever and always.” I smiled as the words left his mouth.

“I love you.” I said, hanging up before I started crying on the phone.

I was excited, I was anxious. I just wanted to feel Harry next to me. 3 days. That’s all I had left. Damn Japan for being a two day journey away. I wanted to be there now.




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“Spencer, love!” Ella pulled me into a hug. “I hope you don’t mind if Barbara tags along. She landed this morning and has nothing to do before her shoot tomorrow.”

“No that’s perfectly fine! I love girls nights!” I smiled. I really did like Barbara too. I hadn’t seen her in almost as long as I’ve seen Ella.

“We got a table in the back. I figured we’d want privacy.” Ella smiled, leading us to our table.

“Yes good!” I smiled.

We all took our seats and ordered our drinks. We fell into a comfortable chat about our days before it turned into gossip hour.

“So what’s going on with you and Harry? All these tabloids are saying you’re calling the wedding off!” Ella pouted.

“No, we’re still engaged.” I chuckled, holding up my hand.

“Good, I like the two of you together. You ground Harry so much.” Ella smiled.

“Yeah, I want something like you guys have one day.” Barbara frowned.

“What happened with Mac?” I asked.

“It was fun for a while. We lasted like 6 months but our schedules were just too heavy to keep up with the relationship.” She shrugged. “We’re friends now so it’s not a big deal. He actually introduced me to my current boyfriend.”

“Who is?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s right! We haven’t seen each other in so long! I’m dating Dane Dehaan now. Mac introduced us. He was really cool about it. I don’t know. It’s nothing serious but I like him.” She blushed.

“She’s so smitten.” Ella rolled her eyes.

“What, don’t you like him?” I laughed.

“Ella thinks he’s not my type.” Barbara laughed. “But what’s a type anyways? I’m all over the board.”

“She can do better.” Ella simply stated.

“So what about you Ella? Any hot boys?” I asked.

“Spencer, when don’t I have a hot boy?” she chuckled. “Not really, I’m just playing the field. Doing what Ella George does best.”

“Sometimes I wish I could just let go, one last time before Harry and I tie ourselves to only one another for the rest of our lives.” I blurted out.

“Why not tonight?” Ella raised an eyebrow.

“No, I can’t actually do that.” I laughed. “I have to catch an early flight to Tokyo tomorrow morning anyways.”

“We’ll make sure you’re on that plane.” Ella glanced at Barbara.

“Yeah, we got you.” Barbara smiled.

“That’s okay guys. I’ll be okay.”

“No, tonight is it a party to celebrate you.”

“I’m not partying, Ella. We agreed to a couple of drinks.” I rolled my eyes.

“You should know by now that a couple of drinks is not in Ella George’s dictionary of life.” She smirked.

“Fine, let’s do it.” I reluctantly agreed.

“Waiter!” Ella flagged our server over. “We’ll take 6 shots of tequila please. Top shelf.”

“Right away miss.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to this. I cannot miss that plane though.” I reminded them.

“And you won’t.” Barbara smiled as the waiter set the tray of shots down in front of us.

We each placed two in front of us. We picked the first one up, Ella giving a toast.

“Here’s to a crazy ass night with my two best friends. I love you.” We cheered, clinking our glasses before taking the shot. It burned so good as it traveled down my throat.

We moved to the second shot. This time, I gave the toast. “Here’s to the worst idea I’ve ever agreed too with two perfect friends.”

We giggled and downed our shots. What was I getting into? Did I need to party the night before, probably the biggest flight of my life? Absolutely not. Was I so stressed over Harry and what was going to happen once I landed in Japan, that I didn’t care? Yes.

Here’s to whatever is coming my way tonight. Cheers.

Notes

I'm writing the rest right now, it's nearing the end. But remember there's a sequel which is way too awesome. I have huge ideas. So let me know what you think and like I said, sorry for the delay.

Sorry about any errors! Enjoy xx