“Shit, shit shit shit….stop!” I yelled as I waved my hand frantically at a cab passing by. “YES!”

I cheered when this one finally stopped. I had been flagging one down for about 10 minutes now and I was in a rush. I needed it now. I opened the door to the back seat and slid in.

“JFK and step on it, I’m late.” I told the driver before dialing my phone. “Answer, answer.”

“What? It’s like 7 am.” Kasi groaned into the phone.

“I need you to go to my place and get my luggage. I’m on my way to JFK and I don’t have enough time to get any of it!”

“Spenc, are you drunk?” Kasi asked.

“What? No. I’m just frazzled.” I sighed.

“Frazzled? You don’t say the word frazzled.”

“Fine. I might still be drunk.” I admitted.

“I thought you were going out for dinner and a couple drinks to catch up.” I knew Kasi was rolling her eyes.

“A couple drinks turned into dancing on tables in the middle of a club.” I rubbed my eyes.

“Spencer, I don’t have enough time to get to your shit and make it to the airport.” Kasi sighed.

“Well what the fuck am I going to do then?” I shouted, receiving a glare from the driver.

“I don’t know.” Kasi retorted. “You’re fucking famous, you make a million fucking dollars a year and you’re fiancé is Harry Styles. Buy clothes and shit there.”

“What’s your problem?” I asked. She was being completely rude and it was unnecessary.

“You woke me up to get your stuff when you know I can’t make it from my place to yours and then the airport before your flight is supposed to leave.” She groaned. “Just buy new shit.”

“Well you didn’t have to be a bitch about it.” I stated.

“A bitch? Seriously? I’m just stating the facts Spencer. I don’t have enough time and you have enough money. I’m not the one who got shitfaced when you knew you had a flight to catch. We told you Ella is no good. We have from the start.”

“Whatever. I have to go.” I ended the phone call, wiping the tear that escaped my eye.

I knew I had made a mistake. I didn’t need her yelling at me about it. I knew she’d push it on time but I thought she could make it. I sighed, collecting myself as the cab pulled up to the departures area of the airport. I was about to board a plane in yesterday’s clothes and makeup, with no luggage. I had hit a rock bottom once before, I wasn’t going to let this be a second time.

I paid the cabbie and headed towards the check-in counter. I was still a little drunk but hopefully I’d be able to pull myself together enough to make it through security and to my gate.




------------------------------


I had made it through my first layover and was finally in Vancouver for my overnight. I was tucked into my hotel bed but I couldn’t sleep. I had called Harry but he didn’t answer. The closer I got to Japan, the more nervous I became. I wasn’t sure what to expect.

As if he had senses that I was thinking about him, my phone lit up with his name. I took a deep breath before answering.

“Hey babe.” I smiled.

“Babe? You haven’t called me since I’ve left.” He stated.

“I know, I suck.” I pouted at myself.

“You haven’t sucked in over two months.” I heard the smirk in his voice. “At least I hope you haven’t.”

“You’re right. I haven’t.” I smiled even though he couldn’t see me. “That’ll have to change.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He paused. “So you’ve made it Vancouver okay then?”

“Yes, I’m curled up in bed. My flight from Toronto was delayed so I got in later than I expected so I only have to be here for 8 hours instead of 12.” I chuckled.

3EW“Well that’s a perk I guess.” He laughed with me.

“I guess. What are you up too?”

“Just on the bus with the guys. We’re still traveling. We’re supposed to get there by tonight.” He sounded stressed out.

“Is something wrong?” I questioned, fearing his answer.

“I...um…uh…yeah. It’s the guys.” He sighed. Thank god. I was worried it was me. Not that I wanted him to have something going on between him and the guys, but better them than me.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” I sighed. “After all, I’m still your fiancée.”

“Yes, you are and I love you. But we’ll add it to the list of things to talk about when you get here.”

“You’re worrying me.” I said, sitting up. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

“I promise it’s nothing to worry over. Please, trust me on this, okay?”

I wanted to argue but he sounded serious. He wasn’t going to tell me anything right now. I had to agree.

“Fine, but we talk when I land.” I said.

“Of course, I promise love.”

“Well I’m going to get some sleep.” Suddenly I didn’t really feel like talking anymore.

“Yeah, of course, call me when you land here.” Harry said. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Goodnight.” I hung up before he could say anything else.

I placed my phone back onto the charging dock and rolled over. I sighed for the hundredth time today. I was happy to see Harry. After that phone call my worries faded, slightly. I had no idea what to actually except so I was waiting for the worst, hoping for the best. That’s all I can really do at this point.


-----------------------------------

(Japan at airport)

I stumbled down the steps in my heels. Before I went to sleep in Vancouver I stopped by a mall and got a few necessities. A new outfit, toothbrush and paste, hairbrush and a small luggage bag. I used the complimentary shampoo and soap from the hotel, figuring I could get everything else once I got there. I sort of liked flying without worrying about luggage and bags and the stress of knowing what to pack. Maybe I’ll do this more often. Oh, did I mention that I had a couple Bloody Marys on the plane? Six to be exact. And probably should mention that I also had 3 margaritas at the TGI Friday’s in the airport. Should I mention, I popped a Xanax because I was nervous? I had those in my purse in case of emergency. My purse and the clothes I got drunk in with Ella was the only thing I had.

Besides the drug and alcohol, I was feeling. Superb, I was soaring. Wait, maybe that was because of them? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I looked around the rush of people for the little red head I was in search of. Ah, right where I was told she’d be. I ran over, okay, I waddled in a stumbling mess over to Rachel.

“Heyyyyyy!” I shouted as I wrapped my arms around her.

“Spencer. Are you drunk?” she giggled as she hugged me.

“Well it’s lovely to see you too!” I pouted.

“Oh god, you’re drunk.” She looked at me.

“What? No. I’m not drunk. I’m sober.” I hiccupped. “Okay, I had one drink.” I held up my pointer finger.

“Shit.” Rachel mumbled, digging for her phone. “Let’s go get your luggage.”

“Funny story…” I laughed, alone. “I forgot all my bags in my apartment! So surprise! Here they are!” I swung my purse around.

“Okay babe, we’re going to go to the car. There are a lot of paparazzi out there because Harry was supposed to come get you and someone tipped them off. So they sent me instead. So let’s get your makeup un-smudged and you in that car without a scene, alright?”

“Okay, mother.” I rolled my eyes at her with a chuckle. “No wonder you and Liam are getting married!”

“Shhhhhhh!” she covered my mouth her hand.

I pouted. “You still can’t get him to announce it?”

“No babes, we’ll talk about it in the car.” she reassured me. “So how did you manage to forget bags for two weeks?”

“Ha. Well funniest story ever if you ask me.” I pointed at myself.

“Well I did, so tell me!” she giggled, rolling her eyes.

We linked arms and began to walk towards wherever the car was. I was spaced out and she was practically dragging me but we were making it.

“So anyways, I went out with Ella and before you ask, yes that Ella George, the night before I was supposed to catch the flight. Well it was only supposed to be a couple drinks and catching up. But that turned into drinks, and molly and more drinks and more and more drinks. You know Ella.” I looked down at her and she nodded. “So I’m at this bar and the next thing I remember is waking up and looking at the clock and being like ‘oh man I got a plane to catch’ so I ran to a cab and made he speed to the airport and Kasi was being a bitch and wouldn’t meet me with my luggage so here I am! Empty handed and ready to intercourse my lovely fiancé!”

“Oh dear god. You went out with Ella?! Spencer! How could you?” she started.

“Here we go again.” I rolled my eyes.

“What were you thinking? Letting her take you out the night before your big flight! She’s obviously still in love with Harry! She wanted you to miss the flight and start drama!” Rachel said.

“She’s my friend. She would never. She’s not interested in Harry anymore.” I huffed.

“Spencer, did you tell her about Luke?” Rachel came to a halt.

“Not really, vague details.” I shrugged, not really sure what I had told her about Luke.

“Her and Luke have been hanging out.” Rachel stated. “She’s trying to get back at you for something.”

“What? I’ve never done anything to her.”

“Was Barbara with you guys?” she asked.

“Yes, why?”

“Apparently, Barbara and Ella almost had a falling out but Ella is basically black mailing Barbara to help her get Harry back.”

“Why does she want Harry?”

“When you guys go out, who do the paparazzi pay more attention to now a days?” Rachel squeezed my hand, continuing outside towards the car.

“Both of us.” I rolled my eyes. We came into clear sight of the cameras, the flashes instantly blinding us.

“I told you there were a lot here.” Rachel sighed, pushing me down the walkway towards a row of black cars.

“Who cares? They take our pictures everywhere we go.”

“Don’t change the subject from Ella.” Rachel tried.

“You know what Rachel, stop.” I jerked my arm away from hers.

“I won’t, because I have an in with Ella’s circle.” She glared at me. “You’re drunk; it’ll make sense when we sober you up.”

“It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m drunk. Yes, I said it!” I shouted towards the cameras. “I’m drunk and in need of a cab.”

“We have a car.” Rachel crossed her arms against her chest.

“You have a car, I have a cab.”

“You don’t even know where the boys are.” Rachel smirked. I don’t see why she was doing this. Why couldn’t she just accept the fact that I was friends with Ella and we got carried away? It happens.

“Hey!” I looked over at a fan. “Where’s Liam Payne at right now?”

“Makuhari Messe Arena.” The girl said in very broken English.

“Thanks!” I smiled, heading over to the cab station.

I talked to a cabbie and watched Rachel’s face drop as I hopped into the back. No one blames me not understanding on my drunken state. I understand what Rachel was saying, it was super suspicious. But she didn’t need to tell me the way she did.


------------------------

I sat quietly in the back of the cab the entire way over to the venue. I wasn’t pleased with what I did to Rachel but I couldn’t take it in that moment. I needed to get away from her.

We eventually pulled up and I paid the driver and headed towards a security entrance Harry had told me to go to when I called him on the way over here. I checked in with the guards and they let me enter the venue. It was an outside arena so it was huge. I couldn’t more proud of Harry and the guys. They were doing such great things. They changed lives.

To say I had sobered up any would be a lie. I was still pretty drunk but I was functioning. I was walking down a concrete corridor when I ran into someone. It wasn’t my fault, even if I was drunk. I looked up at the suspect and lost my calm demeanor I had collected in the cab.

“YOU!” I shoved my finger into his chest. “YOU FUCKING BASTARD.”

“Hi, Spencer.” he said evenly.

“You did this to me. You did this to Harry and me.”

“It was two sided relationship, Spencer.” he chuckled. “You are just as much at fault as I am.”

“DON’T YOU DARE ACT LIKE I DIDN’T DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU!” I cried, shoving him backwards.

“But you couldn’t, now could you?” he raised an eyebrow. “And how is that my fault?”

“FUCK YOU!” I shouted. “I hate you. You’ve ruined everything!” I slammed my fist down on his chest. He didn’t even flinch.

“Spencer, I said it once, I’ll say it again. I didn’t ruin a damn thing for you.”

“How can you stand there and pretend like this was all my fault, Luke?” I wiped another tear that fell.

“It’s not entirely your fault, but you also can’t blame it all on me!” he began to raise his voice. “You shattered my heart Spencer!”

“What did you expect Luke?! That I’d dump my boyfriend of over a year for you! That we’d walk into the sunset and live happily ever after? You’re 18 Luke! 18!”

“No, you know what. Fuck you.” he yelled.

“You did this.” I said again. “You forced something that was never there.”

Just as he was about to talk again, a few of the guys came out into the hallway.

“You can’t force something to happen. It happened because we both felt it.” he ran a hand down my arm. “We still do.”

“I DON’T. I FUCKING HATE YOU.” I slapped his hand away and pushed him backwards.

Before I knew it I felt arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me away from the scene. My happy drunkenness was soured into an angry drunkenness. I don’t know what ticked in me when I saw Luke, but something did. I couldn’t even stand to look at him anymore. He acted all nonchalant about it but he didn’t have everything to lose like I did.

I was finally set down onto a couch. I looked up at the guy who drug me in here.

“So would you like to tell me why you’re drunk and causing harm to Luke Hemmings?” he sighed.

“I’m drunk because I’m nervous to see Harry. I assaulted Luke because I’m drunk.” I shrugged.

“Spencer, what really happened between you and Luke?” he asked.

“I can’t tell you that, Louis.”

“Have you told Harry?”

“Of course, Harry knows everything.” I nodded.

“Look, don’t be worried about Harry. He wants to be with you more than ever. I promise.” He sat down next to me.

“How do you know?” I looked over at him.

“Well for starters, I’m his best friend. Second, he hasn’t shut up about you coming since tur started and lastly, he told what happened Spencer. He isn’t mad at you. He’s mad at Luke.”

“He should be mad at me too. That’s what worries me!”

“I think when you’re in the stage of a relationship that you guys are at; you forgive and forget more easily. You know, because you trust each other more.”

“Louis, I know we don’t always see eye to eye, but I’m glad you’re Harry’s best friend. You’re good for one another.” I smiled, squeezing his hand.

“I agree. You’re who Harry’s supposed to be with, forever. Don’t doubt yourself.” Louis smiled, squeezing my hand back. “Now, shall we go find this man we both love so much?”

“You two suck each other’s dicks, I knew it.” I chuckled, proud at my joke.

“Okay let’s get some food into you and sober you up then go find Harry.”

“I want hamburgers.” I smiled.

“I know just the guy who can find us the nearest hamburgers.” He smiled, opening the door into the hallway.

I followed him into another room where I saw Calum and Niall sitting. “Niall!”

“Hey Spencer!” he smiled.

“Someone is craving cheeseburgers.”

“Hamburgers.” I corrected.

Louis chuckled, “Right, hamburgers and I simply can’t find the nearest shack.”

“OH! There’s a McDonalds right down the street! I’ll take her!” Niall smiled.

“Good, I knew you would.” Louis pulled him aside.

I tried to act like I was interested in the nonsense Calum was shouting at me but all I could pay attention to was the hush tones Lou and Niall were talking in.

“Yes, sober her up and don’t try anything.” Louis mumbled.

“Why would…oh right… we did it once.” Niall laughed. Louis rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go find Harry and warn him.” Lou nodded before coming back over to me. “Okay, Niall is taking you for burgers. Be safe.”

“Thanks Louis, you’re a great person.” I smiled hugging him. “But Niall, he’s the real MVP. He’s taking me for hamburgers.”

Everyone laughed around me. I smiled. Harry could wait; all I wanted was a damn burger.

Notes

helllllllllllllllllllllo. enjoy this. i've been up for 40 hours straight. i'm tired.

what do you think is going to happen when Spencer finally sees Harry?
let me know what you think
xx