The Exchange.

“harry you coming? Were gonna be late…” I looked up from my shaking hands holding the phone. My water eyes locked with nialls.

“you ok?” he asked stepping in and shutting the door. I frowned my brow looking at my phone as I blinked back tears. As niall came closer I wiped my eyes and locked my phone, they don’t need to see me cry anymore. I pushed past him and stormed out towards the car.

~~~haydens POV~~~
I twirled my straw in my coffe as I listened to callie bable on about something random, she never seemed to take notice in anything other than herself. Don’t get me wrong, shes a good friend…she just is the one that talks mainly about herself.

“so anyway it was AWSOME! But enough about that! I have a question!” she cheered.

“what is it?” I asked raising an eye brow.

“well, weve been friends for about 4 months…and you seem to never mention the fact that YOU LIVE IN SIMON COWELLS HOUSE!” she suddenly screamed. I immediately shot up placeing a hand over her mouth.

“shhhh I don’t need to get crowded…” I whispered.

“oh who cares! Now spill girl!” I shook my head.

“hes my uncle.” I couldn’t put my finger on it but her attitude today was very bitchy. I expected a good time with her but since I got here an hour ago shes been nothing but annoying.

“so you left your parents to live with a rich person?” she gasped. I scoffed.

“ you no what callie. Call me when you not being a bitch ok? I don’t need this.” I slammed my drink down grabbing my bag. In callies head I ‘walk’ here. In reality I just park a block away so she doesn’t see my car and freak out like she just did about finding out who my uncle is.

I stomped out of the shop leaving her with her mouth hung open. I rolled my eyes pulling out my phone and side when harrys name popped up in my contacts. I really miss him…I miss his touch, his lips, his voice…I miss everything. But he wants nothing to do with me…he nor the others have even called or texted to see how I was…they up and left like I was trash and that really hurts.

I clicked the button on my car and hopped in. quickly starting it I put the top down and drove off towards my uncles house. Usually he doesn’t want me home early on work days but today has started off shitty, he probably wont mind. Plus I would like to work on some music…I miss that.

I pulled into the drive way handing my keys to one of the servants to park it and walked Inside. I saw uncle simon putting together some papers and gave him a smile.

“hi uncle si, I hope you don’t mind…todays been pretty bad…I was hopeing I could work in the recording room? I wont bug you in your work.” His eyes scanned me for a moment as he probably made sure no one would be in the room and nodded.

“sure sweaty. “ I walked over and placed a kiss on his cheek walking to the recording studio.

~~~Harrys pov~~~

The lads messed around in the car while I just stared out the window. We were on our way to some recording sesion in london, then to simons house for a meeting. I just wanted to go home and sleep. It seemed today I was even more bumbed and missing hayden. I don’t know why but I felt…even shittier then usual.

I groaned as the car came to yet another stop light. Cmon! A sudden crackle caught my attention. I looked to the grey gloomy skies as they opened up letting the rain spill out. I shook off the want to cry as I pictured hayden somwhere in the warm sun. Happy and finally free… a wall separating me from being there to enjoy it with her. I never realised really how much she ment to me until I lost her…now id do anything to get her back.

I caught my self opening the text I had yet to send to her no longer working phone. My thumbs waved over the send button. I wanted to send it…but the pain of knowing I will never get a response, overwhelemed me.

“you should send that…might help you release some of the hurt mate…” zayn said patting my shoulder. I frowned my brow focusing on the message.

“you think?” he gave me a nod.

“we all miss her terribly mate…” he gave me a sad smile and I noticed the others were nodding and now in this conversation.

“were all sad today to…it’s the anneversary…im sorry mate.” And that’s why…this explains the pain…todays the one year anneversary of me losing her…

“ill…ill send it…” I let my thumb land on the little send button and shut my phone off huffing as we pulled into the studio lot.

“cmon mate…we got work to do.” I followed zayn out staring at the raining sky. I love you babe…I thought.

~~~Haydens POV~~~

I flopped on the lounge couch takeing a deep breath as a serine feeling took over my body. Singing always made me feel better. A crackle caught my attention and I looked out side to see it was rainging. I side. I wonder if its raining where harry is...i wonder if he ever thinks of me? no…hayden no…


I shook my head standing and cleaning up the studio.

“maybe something to eat and…” my thoughts were interupted by a ding. I checked my phone and dropped it smacking a hand over my mouth. My hands shakeing and eyes welling with tears. Harry….

From Harry –
Hey… I no your not going to get this…I no its stupid…my love for you has never died and not a moment goes by that the warm pillow I wake up on I wish is you…I wish to hear your beautiful heart beat. Feal and taste your soft lips… I just want to hold you again…. Hear you laugh and speak…smell the amazing lavander on your neck…watch you furrow your brow that cute way when you writing a song or drawing something…I hurt so bad…ive drowned my self In beer and woman over you…your probably so disapointed in me and im sorry…but without you im the biggest disaster…I don’t even have the energy to continue singing…I cant move on…but i can live….for you… I no the worst thing I could do to hurt you, dead or alive is take my own life…ill live for now…but I fear this pain will drag me down soon…and it wont be long before I join you…the lads miss you to…when your brought up or someone says your name or something that reminds us of you…we get quiet…sometimes we cry…the girls miss you to…they still cry…you were important to us…you are important to us… you were and are the life in our hearts and we love you so much.i love you…and I miss you…

I felt tears welding and anger. Bullshit he thought I was dead. What is this? Some sick way of him to try and get me to come crawling back to him.

To harry –

HAHA! You make me laugh! So sweat you think Im dead!? Uncle simon told me that he told you I woke up after they pulled the life support off! He told me you said “ give her all my love! But I need to focus on work!” im not stupid harry! I fought to live fo you, the lads, and the girls….but you all fucking abandond me… now I live daily with perminant problems because of that accident… I live with a broken heart caused by you! Tell me, was I just a shag? Did you stick around to make your self look good? For pitty? Then you leave!? I LOVED YOU HARRY AND YOU DUMPED ME! YOU LEFT ME ALONE LIKE SOME PIECE OF TRASH!!!! Don’t message me anymore you’ve hurt me enough!!

I sent the message nothing but pure hurt flowing through me. I slammed my stuff down shoving my phone into my pocket and ran to my room.

~~~Harrys POV~~~

I wiped the sweat off my forehead and tied a bandana around my head pulling back my long curls. My heart raced as I calmed myself from the long rehearsal. We finished recording steal my girl and it was great. My mind was flashing from career to hayden. Hayden to my career…then more hayden…youd think after a year I could move on….but the longer im away from her the more the pain is…its not fair…I wish she could still be here.

A sudden ding caught my attention and I grabbed my phone and a water flopping on the couch by louis. I wasn’t expecting much, maybe a reminder text from simon. But as soon as i opened the message I spit my water out. My eyes buldged tears pricked and everything stopped. The lads looked at me worriedly as my shakeing hands held my phone. It cant be…

“whats wrong mate?” I stared at them, then back at my phone.

“its…it’s a message…” I whispered. They all exchanged looks and louis sassily replied.

“yes mate, and you replie.” He chuckled and I looked right at him. He immediately shut up and replaced his smirk with a look of concern as my teary face stared at him.

“whats going on harry?” they all asked in unison.

“it’s a message…from hayden” I replied. There eyes nearly popped and I saw them get teary as well.

“w-what?” niall croaked. I shrugged quickly opening it to read what she said. I read it outloud for the mates to here. With each word I broke more and more.

“HAHA! You make me laugh! So sweat you think Im dead!? Uncle simon told me that he told you I woke up after they pulled the life support off! He told me you said “ give her all my love! But I need to focus on work!” im not stupid harry! I fought to live for you, the lads, and the girls….but you all fucking abandond me… now I live daily with perminant problems because of that accident… I live with a broken heart caused by you! Tell me, was I just a shag? Did you stick around to make your self look good? For pitty? Then you leave!? I LOVED YOU HARRY AND YOU DUMPED ME! YOU LEFT ME ALONE LIKE SOME PIECE OF TRASH!!!! Don’t message me anymore you’ve hurt me enough!!”

they all stared at me wyed eyed.

“b-but…simon said she was dead…we really didn’t no…” louis sniffed. I dropped my phone and smashed my face in my hands letting the tears spill. My baby has been alive and this whole time….. she was alive? Suffering and alone…and I wasn’t there for her…this is simons fault! My fists clenched and I stood grabbing my keys. The lads all gave me questioning looks whyping there tear stained faces.

“were are you going?” they asked in unison. I looked over my shoulder at them.

“im going to talk to simon….our ‘friend’” they all nodded following me. im going to figure out what the hell is going on…I swear if this is a dirty prank im going to be pist.

Notes

sorry i took so long!!!!! heres your update!!! please rate coment and subscribe!!!:D